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/n/ - NEET

Advice / Social / Basement
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How does one make new friends?

My current friend group is contributing to my anxiety, so I feel like I should make some new friends. But seeing as how I'm socially challenged, it seems like an impossibility.


I have no experiance myself really, but i heard and i sure can image it to be true, is sports of some sort.
You might consider joining a sports club or something.
Tough you could just practice for yourself and maybe if your good enough some dudes might want to play with your so.
Or you could just ask to join a game, but i bet thats way above you.

You could probably also go to bars and stuff and do lotsa drinking if you have money, but you arent likely to make good friends there tough and with will mostly lose cash and health too over time.
But it might be a good way to fight loneliness and boredom i think.


That is horrible advice. Please don't do this.

Unless you genuinely enjoy shallow fake ass people, binge drinking and sports, that is.


Making actual friends is hard, and your best bet is meeting people while doing things you enjoy. If you enjoy playing games, join a guild or a clan. If you like drawing or singing, join an art site, promote yourself and give critique and show interest in others. So on and so forth.

If you share things in common with someone, it's grouds for further bonding, and possibly discovering more shared interests. I can't say anything about finding friends in irl places like libraries or themed activity groups, but I've made great friends online. I'm still friends with some after several years of communication. That sort of friendship is rewarding to me, but you will be missing out on human contact [hugs?] if that is important to you.


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See this
Just add a bunch of people and talk to them, see who is and isn't worth talking to.


I only ever made the IRL ones I have at my library and I still have one from class, and among those people there have been more than one that's added a lot to my anxiety. I joined a forum a couple years ago and I still talk to one or two people from there, but except for one guy who's just interesting due to history knowledge and gypsy stories, there isn't too much of value there. I had one friend I clung to for a year and that crashed and burned and made me kind of paranoid and hateful for awhile.

I've met a few people who I can relate to in terms of interests and seem genuinely nice, but as for advice for going about that, I have little. The only interest-related thing recently has been hanging out with a guy who has given me writing advice but mostly just talks about God. So like Nam said, just pursue communities whose core is made up of people with interests that same at least vaguely similar to yours.


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I have one IRL friend. We met in a D&D game and just so happened to live 40 minutes away from each other, so we figured why not meet in person? It went pretty well, and now we see each other in person every so often. He's very busy though, so I still spend the majority of my time alone. I'd like more friends, and maybe even a significant other if I'm extremely lucky, but I'm not sure if it will ever happen.

I've been thinking of maybe auditing one or two easy classes at a local school, just for something to get out of the house and be around people. I'm not sure if I can though. School has been nothing but torture for me so far.

My other thought is to volunteer at an animal or homeless shelter. That way, not only would I be getting out and being around people who might be my friend, but I'd also be doing something nice for others. I love helping people, so it might be the best thing for me to do.


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I don't know. Haven't had one in 10 years.

How does one make friends online?


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Play online games, like MMOs, fighting games, strategy games, so on and so forth. Become good at them. As you progress, you are likely to meet some nice people along the way, either through partying, playing against each other, exchanging strategy and similar things. Play with those people as often as you can. Maybe join a guild [more potential good people/good players!] Even if your friendship doesn't cross the bounds of the game, it's still a nice, warm feeling. Something familiar and rewarding to do every day, exchanging woes and joys with those people, learning and improving together.

Alternatively, if you are interested or knowledgeable about a subject, join a community that revolves around that subject. This board is an example of a community like that, based on a japanese rpgmaker game. Interested in anime? Go to a fansub IRC, or join them. Like [insert music genre here]? Forums. Most communities have IM rooms/IRC if you prefer quick communication instead of communication on imageboards or forums.

A thing you should keep in mind about yourself - don't come on to people too strong. Be honest, trustworthy and don't play mindgames with people. And you should be fine.


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The problem is I've become socially retarded. It takes 20 minutes to reply to something simple as "how are you?" I think in pictures now more often than words. I use to post art on DeviantArt but it takes hours to think of anything to say. This took an hour to write.


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There is no making friends for people with social disabilities and severe depression. The normies will always be different from you. They smell your desperation from a mile away and they want nothing more than to walk all over you on their way to the top. You're just another easy obstacle that they can topple to impress their friends and gain social status. They don't care about you. That's because you're of no value to them. You don't have any social or financial value other than to relive awkward moments from high school. They're programmed like a robot and they cannot compute your query. Normies will never be your friend. That is why you will always be alone.



This is genrally the way to go, but be aware communites can often be very generally people oriented, meaning where everything goes and you can get to know people well. While other communities can be topic oriented where most people wont react when you try to speak of somethign else than the specific topic and thus you will have little chance to get to know people.

Also dont expect to make personal kind of friends, usually on the net it will be more like at a party of sorts, where you will have lots of different random discusions involving alot of poeple.

I did alot of IRC and met kickass people there but never did anything like skype or facebook or anything that is more person to person.
If anyone have some experiances about that please share.

You can make buddies quickly, but good friends will take a while to make and you can expect it not to be very personal most of the time.

Just take it slow, there is no use in rushing into something.

Also some communties may be hostile so dont get over enthusiastic quickly.

Anyway good luck and have fun.


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Maybe you two would be the best of friends! Oh, I wish you all the luck in the world!


That's why you don't try to make friends with normies, anon-kun. You are not the only non-normie in the world, you know.

>If anyone have some experiances about that please share.

Tinychat with people from IRC, mumble talks every day with people I met on a game. I have made friends I still talk to for 3+ years on both of those. I've talked about personal subjects and exchanged phone numbers/other contacts with two of them. I really treasure them and think the friendship is just as valid as a face-to-face one.

I am also living with someone I met on here, but that is a very rare and unlikely occurrence. Needless to say, I am very happy with him and how things turned out.


you might manage to someday find someone who is almost exactly like you in the real world someday. then you could be alone forever together!


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Which sorts of irc channels did you frequent?

As it stands I frequent a touhou irc and have had the fortune of meeting a few of the most supportive and appreciative people I have these few months past. Some I had to initiate first "vis a vis" contact with, others approached me of their own accord in pm; it all whittles down to how you carry yourself in the public forum and match it to how you'd behave alone with a person since no one enjoys the company of a disingenuous, whoring midget.


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I've been looking for an IRC, but my last experience with it wound up with the few main people saying they ignored me. I didn't go back, and I was only there because at the time I had nowhere else to go and this other channel was boring. Both of the channels were full of normies, but I ended up sending a woman some equipment and she made me a hat to order. That was awesome, but in the end they were normies so I don't miss them. They always spoke about motorcycles, linux, or posting the top pictures from imgur. Kinda lame.


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You're going to the wrong channels dude. There are always normalshits with jobs everywhere though, just gotta dealio a little. learn to compromise, everyone likes to live their lives differently and hikki/longterm neet types tend to get stuck in their ways a little too much

remember you always got the option of starting your own group tailored to your own interests rather than arriving late 2 the party for some circlejerk shitfest


>They always spoke about motorcycles, linux, or posting the top pictures from imgur

>normies talking about loonix

>implying normies don't even know what a kernel is

dude what…


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I have ignored IRC for a long time and only recently tried it out. I was always more partial to internet forums and imageboards because I sometimes take too long to think of something to say, and by the time I do say it, the conversation has moved on to another topic or something. IRC was fun though, I met a paralyzed transvestite science fiction author. At first I thought she was a girl and I was thinking this is my soul mate but then she sent me a picture of herself and she looked like Janet Reno wearing a wig. The thing is, I'm not a normie and continued talking to her instead of immediately ignoring and dismissing her. We had good conversations about music, specifically underground disco of the 1960's and 70's.

Linux is tangential to NEET culture. Lots of computer nerds with girlfriends, friends, and a stable job with opportunities to advancement. I guess you could call Stallman an honorary NEET, but those types of people are few and far between amongst the sea of normalfag computer nerds. Granted, there are a lot of bros in /g/ and I only have a limited exposure to the professional IT/software crowd in real life.

You can be NEET and still have a job in my opinion. The criteria for designating a NEET should be something like you have been unemployed for at least 2 or 3 years, you are neuroatypical, and tolerate people having the freedom to express themselves however they want, no matter how vile. This is because the NEET has superior emotional strength and they have experience in dealing with things that deviate from a normies life, like not graduating from high school but still being very intelligent, or dealing with a lifelong battle with depression and anxiety and being on the autism spectrum. Things like that, and having no friends, are what makes a truNEET. The EETs are so used to their normal life that they are have become acclimated to their normie environment and they get stressed when in non-normie situations where their indoctrinated mindset of thinking might be countered and offended.

Basically, normies gonna norm.


>You can be NEET and still have a job in my opinion

No, you can't. You can be autistic, depressed, or socially inept but still have a job. Not being in education employment or training is what NEET means. Did you even read the sticky? I thought we were done with this. You don't need to pretend or tell yourself it's something else, there are other niches you can fit yourself into that are not NEET that make you a non-normal if that makes you feel better.

It is also possible to be a normalfag without being an insufferable cunt.


Did that channel happen to be on .esper?


> Which sorts of irc channels did you frequent?
Mostly opensource chanels of projects that i like.


>It is possible to be a normalfag without being an insufferable cunt
I was with you until this. Normalfags are enablers of an oppressive system. It's like the Matrix where sure, a normie might be less of an insufferable cunt, but they they go and do something stupid and they turn into a pig disgusting version of Mr. Anderson and doing things like indirect bullying or just being a total douche.


What do you mean by "normalfag"? I meant someone without serious psychological problems, a couple friends and a job/studying.

It's called empathy, some are more capable than others.


>someone without serious psychological problems, a couple friends and a job/studying.
That's what I meant too, but the concept of what makes someone a normie goes far beyond that. There becomes a point where empathy is impossible, where the divide between a person and others is too wide to build a bridge. A point of no return.


Therefore the "some are more capable". It is not common, but it is possible. Most of the people in my immediate surroundings are normal, and I have receoved warmth and support from them, even though I am useless and probably very strange to them.


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Look for people with similar interests as yourself, you like touhou right? join some form of touhou group/IRC or whatever.

I gave up contacting my high school "friends" long ago, they were more acquaintances anyway and we had nothing in common (I would just fain interest in sports or whatever they were into).

I was honestly happier alone, and as the years have gone by I eventually met a handful of people I can call real friends. But that wouldn't have happened if I didn't put myself out there and avoided people.


Do you want friends IRL or online?

I can't touch on the IRL aspect, as I don't leave my home very often, but I have made a few online friends. The easiest way to meet people is to look for (normally off-topic) "social" threads on your imageboard of choice. Just last week I got 12 email contacts from posting in a thread on /jp/. Make sure to state some of your interests, so that you don't get people emailing you that have nothing in common with yourself.

I know a lot of people like to use Skype, but I'm too shy to do any VoIP stuff. Text is more comforting anyways.

Feel free to email me if you like anime, music, public transportation, tea, food, video games, Touhou, and/or taking it easy!

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