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/n/ - NEET

Advice / Social / Basement
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Hello, /n/. My name is Anonymous, and I am both NEET and a hikikomori. My life has hit an all time low as my parents have scheduled for me to see a conclave of doctors to diagnose and presumably drug me, but that's not the real problem. The problem is they're giving me an allowance too. This humiliating turn of events has convinced me as to the necessity of my immediate doom, therefore, I must create an elixir thereof. I live near a forest full of common herbs and whatnot, and have a decent grasp on medieval chemistry and alchemy. I am willing to break my hikikomori streak and spend money on this quest. I will either make the best tea ever or die having accidently made the best poison ever. How should I start my ignorant botany quest?


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You need to read more Fulcanelli, Helvetius, Zachaire (he was a bastard faker but there you go), Bernardus Trevisanus, The Cosmopolita, Michael Sendivogius (If you don't believe that thing that he was the Cosmopolita you can think of him as a different person), Philalethes, Basilius Valentinus, Parcelso, Flamel, Schmieder, and a bunch more of hermetic artists I can't remember, since most of them are either greedy or too hard to understand without annexing it with other books.

Also, the work of the adherent was pretty long, since they spent their first years only studying as much as possible about their subject to familiarize themselves with the alchemist language, and then implementing it to the great work they aimed for, that could last several years each try, of which they needed quite a few before producing for the very first time the Philosopher's Stone (Or the Eternal Life Elixir, which was basically water with the scraps).

All in all, the great work of an Hermetic Artist could last 20+ years (If I remember well, Flamel tried over 60 or 80 years before archiving his objectives), being divided in 3 stages. Studying, trying, and archiving, and what's more, the great work wasn't actually neither the gold-maker stone nor the elixir, but the change the alchemist himself suffered during the process. Otherwise the truth won't help the artist achieve his goal.

I started 3 years ago and I'm still digging in books. You will also need to learn Old French and Latin to translate the original books (I actually receive help with the French, but I'm still learning Latin, though I have some help with this too) because third parties' interpretations could be terrible sometimes and won't actually help. Oh, and also some old German, because there are quite a good essays here and there from the XVI century, if I'm not wrong.
I read that Chinese or Arabic treaties are good but I never checked them out.

Still wanting to learn Alchemy?


Proof that it is possible to give so much helpful information that you can be a troll, or at least come off as trollish. (discouraging at a minimum)


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Why is uboachan so susceptible lately? Every post I make is treated as if it were trollish or as if I were plotting a huge drama or something.
The funniest thing is that this thread is actually some kind of smart shitposting that goes hand-by-hand with trolling, and it happens that I'm quite knowledgeable in this subject.

If you don't believe what I wrote just use google. I only pointed out the first steps on alchemy, and I don't have to carry anon up on my arms because it would be fruitless effort and anon wouldn't achieve anything. That is the rule regarding alchemy. You learn by yourself through your own effort, and if you want to share it, you have to divide between giving good information but really hidden, or give bullshit. I'm not doing either, but just marking the road anon should follow.

In any case I'm saving anon's time before he immerses into an abyss deeper that it seems. Half of alchemy texts seems like mad men crap (and in fact most of them were, thanks to quicksilver's toxic gases), and less than half will actually help you in your quest.


Oh no no no
I didn't really think you were trolling, I just meant it was possible you could be, or more accurately the manner in which you posted could be used to troll, and not even by giving false information, the intentions of your post were clear, I was just saying.

Sorry if I didn't make that clear.


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I am not sure what exactly your goals are here op, elaborate further.

I have a bit of knowledge about wild plants, but since they can vary among places it would be helpfull to tell us where about you live.

You can use wild herbs for lots of things, tea mostly but also as spices, salads and a varity of more specialised applications.

Now i assume you want to use them as drugs? However in that regard your options are likely rather limited.
Belladonna is probably the most known and common one,
It causes a sleepy state and mild hallucinations, tough if not dosed properly its lethal, i suppose you might mix a few with wine or juice.
I cant come up with other plants right now, tough you might find some, some plants are still not carefully analysed and may contain pyschotropic chemicals.
You might also find psychedelic mushrooms, tough i dont know much about mushrooms in general.

And try to be careful, a few plants are quite poisonous, lethal and non-lethal and both longterm and shortterm, so if you poison yourself it might be extremly unpleasent.


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You misunderstand friend anon. The end goal of my quest is not Redwork, I seek neither the Philosopher's Stone, nor eternal life. In retrospect, eternal life runs kinda contrary to the original goal. Rather, the goal here is to make teas and poisons out of stupid shit, and then vomit them up while testing them. (While I have an animal to test them on, I'd feel bad about my dog throwing up, especially since I'd have to clean it.) It's not about Hermeticism and the occult (per se), it's about FUN, anon, FUN.

I live in rural New York. It's so rural here, that my neighbor made moonshine once, and my entertainment was waiting for three years for him to drink it and then vomit. I don't really want to use it for drugs as much as I don't want to be bored, and maybe learn a bit about botany and outdoorsmanship in the process. Still though, making teas by hand is something I'm pretty interested in, so yeah. Come to think of it, I suppose I ought to get some sort of field guide or handbook or something.


If you want to have a lifechanging experience with poisons, look up into making flying ointments. It's generally safer than taking the plants as tea or chewing them and yealds fewer side effects if dosed correctly, yet can still kill you if you fuck it up.

The plants one would commonly use are from the solanaceae family (datura, henbane, belladonna), opium poppy, monkshood and various roots depending on where you live, dissolved in animal fat and applied to the neck and feet/palms.

Poison (deliriant) trips are scary as balls as it is a walking dream and you will not understand you are tripping and be out of it for at least four days, and might have to go to the ER.


sorry for the horrible grammar


So let me get this straight, you want to experiment with wild herbs to make tea mixtures from, without knowing precisley what you are taking and with the potential risk of crapping and vomiting yourself to death at the same time?
Also you call this fun?

Well assuming this is actually the case a good start would be mint, im sure you can find water or field mint near forests or rivers, they have a very typical fragrance.
Another good plant for start would be sages as they usually have strong flavor. Should find some specimens around there for sure.

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