/n/ - NEET

Find people with a common interest. Go to a place where people have said common interest. Talk about common interest and get to know people through common interest. Most friends just reassure each other of their common interests/beliefs and hive mind together to make it seem like they have a meaningful existence by acknowledging one another, giving a sense of identity. They also ignore the futility of living a hollow, shallow life being complacent with how useless all life on Earth is. But as long as you can reassure each other enough and pretend like humans are worthwhile, it's all good.

Get yourself a room-mate.

Bars are a shitty place to meet people, even for normals. The only thing you might find is a one night stand, not friendship, not love.

Do what >>12769 said.

>>12769
This. I thought this reason is plain and obvious too unless you're willing to disregard that and look for a deeper reason in which case I'd direct you to your nearest human psychology expert.

Want my take? It just happens when people group up together, especially when they're all strangers to one another. The futility of living one's life in the face of looming death is a worthless excuse to isolate yourself from people, unless of course you really just don't like people. That I'd understand.

Hey anon maybe I can help? I dunno I'll try.
Do you have any friends? Like all you really need is one or two. Ask em if you meet there friends and maybe try to arrange get togethers? Most of my friends I just sort of stumbled upon because we had mutual friends and it kinda branches off from there.
However in the case that you don't have friends in the first place, (this is totally fine an normal by the way don't be down on yourself about it; its okay <3) Try going to some local events in your area. Sometimes niche places, like bookstores will have gathers and you can meet lots of cool people there! Its really stressful to approach people I know, but understand if someone's going to a gathering, they're probably also there to meet new people, even if they're grouping with friends. Sometimes people are just as stressed as you, I know when I go out even though I'd love for people to approach me I become a lot more clingy to my friends because they're kind of my anchor you know?
When approaching someone just try to find common ground, ask em some questions, start some small talk.
Ah sorry if this is super cliché! I'll check back on ya later in a hurry!

>>12768
Outside of work or school I think the only way to reasonably make friends is on the internet.
Different boards on different chans often have their own communities and then their own Steam/Skype groups. This is mostly common with animu type people.

Destiny. It just happens.

Thanks for replies people.

I dont have real friends myself nor had any in about 10 years, i have accuantances but they arent really compatible with me nor do they have time.

Concerning personal interests, i have very little that interests me. Just the usual neet introverted hobbies i can do on my own and there is little reason for both me and in itself to seek out others in such matters.
The closest thing i can think of would be card and board games perhaps, but im better of doing such things digitally too.
I dont really know what else there is or where to go to.
Im not social or talkative either obviously.

At this point its all hypothetical anyway since im broke, so i couldnt do anything even if i knew what.

Now if i had money all i would need would be some drinking buddies so i dont hang out alone, i like walking drinking and smoking and walking around drunk and with cigs.

I am not really asking on how to make friends, tough im grateful for any advice, but rather im asking how perfectly "normal" people can manage to make friends.
And how you could get social at a pub perhaps.
I suppose what >>12786 said is correct, friendship often is a result of nescecity i assume.
Normal peoples lives are so shallow i honestly would not be suprised if school/work would be the only way for them to make friends.

I met some of my friends in high school, but most of my friends are people I met through offline meets, and their friends. I have to say that my life got way more fun and interesting when I started doing offline meets. I highly recommend it.

Expanding on this: How does one make lasting friends? I've always been great at socializing, getting myself in, but in the end I'm always pushed away. I'll provide a good time, but people just "forget" about me and I am always pushed out again. I don't think I've ever found anybody, let alone a group, that I've been concrete with, even with those that I would think that I would. I've started believing that it's just something inherent in me, so I've started avoiding and distancing myself from everybody that I know. If I have no hopes, I can't be hurt, right?

>>12808
How do you go about arranging offline meets? Just organize a time and place? Everyone I meet online is far away, was this the case for you? I feel like it would be kind of awkward.

>>12809
Talk to people about things that are more than just shallow stuff. Share your life, get to really know them, and give them a chance to actually get to know you past your outside facade. If you are talking in a group, approach people that you like and enjoy talking to in private. Don't be too pushy and don't talk just about you all the time.

Where do you live?

I'm in the same position. Friendless for 6 years. Depression and anxiety issues therapy hasn't been much help in resolving.

I'm not sure where to even go. Googling for activity clubs in my area only turns up like boating and yoga stuff. Lots of women only clubs which is strange. And sexist.

The closest thing I got to with similar onterests was an anime convention last year. Unfortunately everyone seems to attend in groups/with friends, and I wasn't able to start any real conversation. Felt…bad..being alone at one.

I've tried cold approaching, but it seems like I freak people out when I do.

So yea. I don't know what to do.

>>12818
I live in central switzerland and dont have many means of transportation either. Why do you ask?

Would have saged, but seems a few questions of others could use answers too.

Anyone want a online friend?

I've recently achieved having a friend. I met her in an online videogame.
Even though she's a social normie, she's very nice to me.
I've been skyping with her a lot lately, and even whilst she was laying in bed, seeing her sleep was quite peaceful actually.
Apparently she's been abused by her father and dropped out of school, this is one of the parts i don't understand.
How can one that has been so mistreated be so nice to other people? I myself was raised in poverty and wisdom, yet still came out to be a failure NEET.
I don't see her to be an emotional drain. She might be a bit ignorant sometimes, but i see that purely as innocence.
We often say erotic things to eachother, but we both know we can't take our relationship too serious, thus we stay to be good friends.

>>12868
Really cute~

>>12868
>How can one that has been so mistreated be so nice to other people?
You shouldn't assume things like that. It's not fair. Just because someone hurts you doesn't mean you have to hurt other people. In fact, I see it as more desirable to rectify things - to do right for others what was done wrong to you. In a way it's a form of triumph over the past; whoever your aggressor(s) may have been, although you may not ever see them again, you can still beat them by refusing to become like them. It's as if to say "See? You didn't break me. I'm still a good person."

As for the girl, I recommend you don't get too attached to anyone you meet online, and that includes friends. They always leave eventually.

>>12872
Not only online… so, like, do you just resolve to never create any relationships with anyone because of the parting pains?

>>12873
Essentially yes, but not exactly. If someone approaches me and tries to make friends with me, I don't reject them or push them away, but I make a point not to seek anyone out.

>>12872
>>12873
Funny, everyone I've ever been close to IRL has left me, though my online friends have remained through the years.

I've also met the person I live with now online.

So, this advice is not entirely correct. You should be wary of what kind of people you're hanging out with, IRL or online and how they handle changes in life; how fluid your relationship is. If you both grow and change as people together, you will never drift apart. Problems come when friends choose different paths in life.

>>12877

Seconding this. I talk to a whopping two people and they are both online. One of which I've known for nearly ten years now while every single person I've met in real life has (so far) largely been shitty.

>>12813
I just try to get to know people as well as I can. I've had people open up to me, and then to me, to just be ignored again as if these conversations never happened. I'll generally never talk about myself unless asked, nor am I pushy. Maybe I should talk about myself a bit? I don't mean to sound like a dick, but I'm fairly attractive if anything in terms of looks. I feel like a passing cloud, something temporary and distant.

Most people I've met IRL are extroverted and hyper competitive. I'm kinda the opposite of that. I'm still good friends with some of them, but I could never live like they live.

>>12810
Time and place, that's it. Finding someone close to you is just luck.

>>12881
>Maybe I should talk about myself a bit?

Yes, you should. Make sure it's relevant to the discussion you're already having, or something that the person you're talking to can respond to or relate to. Talk about small things that happened to you through the day, and your thoughts following them. Share interesting things that you learned or saw. Talk about other stuff if you are asked. If you don't talk about yourself enough, people can't properly get to know you, therefore can't really form bonds with you.

> I'm fairly attractive if anything in terms of looks

Looks are not very important in terms of friendships; and you honestly don't want to hang out on people who care about looks so much they decide whether to hang out with someone or not based on them. It's a good thing to not repulse people with your appearance and it gives you more chances to start talking to people, but actually creating and maintaining a friendship doesn't depend on how you look at all.

>>12884
>Yes, you should.
Didn't want to make it seem as if I don't talk at all, if I have stories to tell/something I want to share I'll say it; I just wont go out of my way to talk if I don't really want to. I'm perfectly fine with silence, and it's comfy to me, but I think other people probably want to be talking or listening constantly.

>Looks are not very important in terms of friendships
True, however I can sense that some people are more timid/intimiated(?) around me because they seem to think that I care about how they look or whatever, and it's kind of upsetting that they won't feel comfortable around you unless they really know you. But most would be pushed away by their insecurities before that happens (I presume?).

>>12909
You don't seem to be doing anything wrong, then. It is really hard to find people who also appreciate silence, but once you do, it's fucking great. Try to find people who share that quality with you and there won't be awkwardness.

>I can sense that some people are more timid/intimiated(?) around me because they seem to think that I care about how they look or whatever

Are you sure this s because of how you look? Has anyone specifically told you that? People tend to be shy/timid/reserved around those they don't know well in general.

>>13078
>Are you sure this is because of how you look?
It was only like this with a few people, generally guys who were less social. One guy that I spent a good amount of time with told me that it was as if he was with a girl because I "look feminine". I've had a couple other people tell me this as well.

I've given up on trying/going out of my way to help people, I'm fine being by myself so the only thing that I have to do is suppress the want to be with people, as I'm generally super happy being with myself save the random occasion.

I've started taking myself on dates/hanging out with myself like one would with friends. That way I can experience all the thing I want to without having to deal without having to spend time with people that don't appreciate me, as I realized that at some point, it was engrained within me that it was "strange" to do these things without friends.At first it kind of seemed strange, but it's extremely tranquil now and it makes me happy.