/n/ - NEET

I've wasted my youth.

I want a girlfriend. For selfish reasons. But I don't care anymore.

>>12716
Admirable idea, i hope people will appreciate.

I dont think i can be helped much tough, nor do i even really know how.

Good luck.
>>12718
Same boat, its dreading me thinking im supposed to be an adult.

How old are you if i may ask?

There are many thing I wanna do in my future, like take up a career in voice acting, but I have things I wanna take care of, like getting my teeth fixed for GOOD, and something tells me it's gonna cost a buttload, even tho I got a health care provider for like, medical coupons.

I feel it's gonna be a long road for this, but even so I feel when I DO get it taken care of, I'm gonna be at a dead end.

that feel when no gf, no bf, nor f at all
what do i do

My problems are internal and I think that only I can fix them, which I probably won't be able to do.

But it'll be nice if this idea of yours does help someone on here.

Spring lake middle sucks because of the students.guidence counselor's not helping much.I have recently been banned off DVD forum.my life sucks.man I feel like I NEED to die.every time its the same bull crap.I need help from you guysguys ;,'(

DVD means dream vs dream.I felt like I had another family.I was temporarily banned because I did not know what a double post is.My permanent ban was because of my first inappropriate post.How come Remilie ragtime wasn't banned.she does one all the time..I hate my life. ;,'(

>>12732
By Spring Lake Middle do you mean Spring Lake Middle School?

>>12733
>>12732
Kid, trust me, middle school does suck as it always has because kids are all dickheads to each other and at this stage in their lives they are hormone-driven. But honestly that sounds like its the deal with you because you say you literally want to die because school sucks and you got kicked off a forum (though i understand the "second family"). Why not try to build a healthier relationship with your own family? I can understand how thats not easy or possible sometimes but also take my advice seriously that having a mom and dad who do not understand you and that you are always getting into arguments with is just so commonplace with people your age. We rebel at that age, and moreover, we are run by hardcore emotions. You have the comfort of stability if its "the same bullshit over and over again". Try being homeless like I was until I was 13. I didn't even have the privilege of being able to GO to school to get away from my crackhead mother and the stress of my life, and to have some sense of grounding, for the first half of my 8th grade year. You can talk to me if youd like. Skype is brockwagenkisuta.

I don't even know how to feel anymore. I finally started to get better this year after a few years of mental illness, and now that I'm mostly normal, it might just be worse. Before I was so preoccupied with what was going on in my head that I sort of just glided along the outside world without much problem. Now that it's gone, all I'm left with is cold loneliness and apathy. All my friends are gone and my future plans forgotten. I tried making new ones, but absolutely nobody shares my interests and the insincerity and selfishness most people have in conversation puts me off. I tried figuring out my future, but I can't get myself to care. I know I have to deal with it soon since I'll be forced out of hikydom, but it just seems so pointless. All I do is sit in my room, consume media, and hope someone I can actually connect with comes along. I don't even know what I'm trying to say here because I don't even know how I feel.

im just so lonely theres only one person i actually feel comfortable with and even though this is the first time i've had someone who i can genuinely talk to and actually wants to talk to me i still cant help being unbelievably lonely. I've always had at least one friend to talk to irl and recently i had a lot more, but i moved which caused me to have no one except my family who i hate. I don't know what to do. i cant find a job and my depression is making horribly suicidal.

I felt like making a motivation/positive stories thread, but then I remembered that being overly optimistic and simplistic about deep seated problems can be borderline insulting. Even though I'm on the same boat as many others here, I can't find a way to relay my thoughts and inspiration without coming off as that.

I'm probably overthinking this.

I hope you manage to help others anyway, it's an admirable thing to want.

Kuddos OP

What if I WANT to be a neet? Not one atm but am counting the days until classes are over and I can shut myself away fot a few months. Im considering getting autismbucks to pay for college (I do want to get my degree and maybe indie dev, computer science major) but other than that I have no goals or dreams. My only dream is to not worry about anything. What do?

>>12767
You could choose a religion and make yourself believe something. This might be delusional, but it really can help. There are people losing weight and making money that way. We possess a weird life.

Furthermore you could dive into drugs. They will take your worries go far away, but also increasing them while sober. So this is a downward spiral.

NEETing is another option. Nobody can force you to live life in a certain way. All they can do is deprive their service and support from you, so you are completely on your own after a while. Decide yourself, whether you can handle that.

If you want to get rid of worries, avoid examining them and their sources. Stop questioning and you will stop seeking for answers, nobody can give you.

We are spawned in a weird world full of inconsistencies. Some of us feel the urge to explore this world and some do not. For certain you have to "do" something. Doing without worrying might be dangerous, but one has to fall first to learn how standing up works.

>>12771
>I dont know what to do with my life
>Use drugs
Besr advic evrrrr!!1! +1

>>12772
You forgot your Pachouli picture.

>>12773
Sshh, mods dont know

>>12773
I'm pretty sure patchouli does lot's of drugs

>Ironic shitposting is still shitposting
>see comments
OKAY MOD YOU DONT LOVE ME I GET IT

>>12771
>You could choose a religion and make yourself believe something.

I guess? I don't want to force myself to believe something, if anything couldn't I just believe that life and everything that comes with it is worth it?

>Furthermore you could dive into drugs. They will take your worries go far away, but also increasing them while sober. So this is a downward spiral.

Eh, don't really want to take any other drugs. I already use medical marijuana to deal with going outside and shit, and it helps, but it'd be more fun to just stay indoors and do it.

>NEETing is another option. Nobody can force you to live life in a certain way. All they can do is deprive their service and support from you, so you are completely on your own after a while. Decide yourself, whether you can handle that.

I'm pretty good about not needing any friends or anything. My boyfriend is supportive and would let me live the lifestyle, but I don't want to leech off of him, hence the want for a stay at home job or neetbux. Money is the issue here mostly.

>If you want to get rid of worries, avoid examining them and their sources. Stop questioning and you will stop seeking for answers, nobody can give you.

This one is the hardest for me though. How can I NOT worry about everything? Its haaaaard.

>We are spawned in a weird world full of inconsistencies. Some of us feel the urge to explore this world and some do not. For certain you have to "do" something. Doing without worrying might be dangerous, but one has to fall first to learn how standing up works.

I guess you're right in that we all have to "do" something. Maybe I should just focus on finishing my degree, then instead of worrying about a job worry about making myself happy (ie freelancing instead of working in the office). I still think I might try for neetbux, as that will give me the freedom to try to build up myself and work on my career instead of NEEDING a job because of bills. Thanks for your help btw, I think its cool someone on the site wants to help others :)

Don't know what kind of advice or help I can give, but if anyone is at least just looking for someone to talk to you can email me.

>>12716
The main reason why I'm a NEET and want to kill myself is because of the crippling anxiety caused by the most embarrassing thing. I smell really bad.

Before quitting college, I'd wake up at 5:30 and take a shower, then when I'd get in my dad's car an hour later so he can drive me to the bus station, I realize I smell bad, like I farted or something. It's like that everyday, all the time, whatever I do.

Sometimes people around me will ask who farted, or look at me in disgust, but I don't know how to deal with it. I mean I shower daily, put on clean clothes, deodorant, perfume, the whole ordeal. It never changes.

Every second of my life (when I'm not alone in my parent's house) I think about it. When I wait in line for something I try to have the biggest distance between me and the person before/after me. When walking through a crowd I walk awkwardly because I try my best to keep at distance with everyone. When I was in class I'd sit at the desk closest to the door so I can leave first and not have to just stand there at the end of class with people surrounding me. In the bus, I pray to god that no one sits next to me. At family gatherings, I find an excuse to say I didn't shower (even though I did) or that I exercised before coming. My life is so affected by this it's killing me.

>>12796
Try squishing cloves of garlic in places where it smells like your armpit and groin.

>>12796
Maybe you have trimethylaminuria? Do some research on it, there are some ways to lessen the smell.

>>12796

Dude I had this exact problem for 2 years and was able to recover. The cause was that I did not poop often enough which cause me to smell bad, even thought you dont have any flatulence the smell will creep of your ass. You have to get your bowels moving in the morning. Try to poop everyday and i promise the anxiety will leave with the smell.

I don't even know what my problem is anymore. I'm on medications which stabilize my mood and prevent me from having psychotic episodes and delusions, and they've helped a lot, but my life is still more or less the same as it's always been. I'm still a shut-in with no motivation to do anything. Just getting out of bed is a struggle most days. I 'should' be better at this point, but for some reason I'm not.

I want to try going to school again, but at the same time I'm terrified of the idea. I hate all the bureaucracy and the people, and I've never been able to stay focused in class or when I'm doing homework. I don't know how to fix this.

I'm also totally dependent on my mother and hate it. I can't do anything on my own. Everything is so difficult and frightening. I don't even want to be independent. I just want to be with someone else. Someone who likes me for who I am, not just because they're obligated to as family. I know how selfish it is to want someone to take care of me when I have nothing to offer in return, but I can't help it. It's all I really want in life. If I could be a housewife, I'd be happy.

Sorry for rambling, I don't know what I'm trying to say.

>>12851
I feel pretty much the exact same way you do, spare the fact that I don't have psychotic breaks and I'm a boy so I can't say I want to be a housewife too much.

My parents homeschooled me in the laziest fashion, eventually I sort of got into school but I broke down and got put in the shittiest possible one and spent all my time anxious as fuck and dropped out before too long. So, I know I know because I learned it on my own from the internet or books or what have you, which basically means I'm a total social fuckup and consider myself a total ignoramus when it comes to a lot of things. I sleep all day most days and when I am up I'm miserable for most of the time despite having the freedom to take it easy.

I want to get into college but at the same time am really fucking scared of it for pretty much the same reason you are.

Really, all I want is someone I can relate to and get along with and while away my life with. But my odds of finding someone like that seem terrible.

… Yeah, maybe I'm not exactly the same as you but similar enough that I feel for you.

>>12852

Actually, that's pretty much exactly what happened to me as well. I was also 'homeschooled' like you, and taught myself pretty much everything I know. And like you, I don't feel like that's a lot. I tried going to school as well, but I had a breakdown and had to go to a psychiatric facility for a little while. I'm hoping that this time I'll do better since I have better help and medications, but I'm still scared.

Also I'm not a girl either, which makes my dream of being a housewife that much less likely to ever become reality ;_;

I sincerely wish I could be like a housewife. The social work culture stuff baffles me, and I keep failing repeatedly at it.

>>12885


Try a therapy against your depression you seem to have.

> I've wasted my youth, and without my youth, my dreams are unattainable. The only thing I can do to save myself from a life of decrepit mediocrity is to end my life in a way that will it some meaning.

I know this feeling too well. While other kids played with their dads mine was off to work and my mom was constantly watching my siblings. As a middle child I was left behind. The others showed extroverted interest like playing Instruments or being good at sports. I wrote short stories and read books almost all the time. With no friends I spent most of my youth alone in my room. Didn't even had a rebellious phase. Others went to the beach or played together while I "wasted" my youth.

It is not too late to get better even more so if you are still under 40!

There is no heroism in dying. And death won't get yourself sympathy & understanding by your loved ones but actually hate because you where arrogant enough to judge about your own life. An egoist that didn't considered the feelings of others.
If your friend actually considered going with that promise he/she is either a terrible friend by not helping you in this crisis or suicidal him/herself

>I'm not going to change my mind. I've already closed my heart and set myself upon this course. But I want to see it through to the end in the best possible way.

Btw. A big FUCK YOU to you.

Don't post this shit on a board with depressed, suicidal NEET's running around. What do you want from us some kind of comfort ? You won't get any. By posting these ideas you might harm others. >inconsiderate.

>>12886
I'm sorry Storm. I didn't think before my post. Upon reflection it was irresponsible and contributed nothing, so I deleted it.

I should clarify that the promise I made with my friend is about doing some things in the spring, so I can't bail before honouring that. They care and have reached out.

That post came from a dark part of me that I don't like to acknowledge. A very bitter, contemptuous part that doesn't want to acknowledge anything else. It's a fucking toxic idea and I regret giving exposure.

>>12887

What you need is a paradigm shift. Or a simple change of View. You seem like a smart&social guy so let me suggest the following.

Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen? You know making breakfast for thee homeless?
2x a month I help out preparing breakfasts.

I am not even sure why but it helps being completely altruistic sometimes. I never told anyone IRL about it. It is not about money or fame but about the few hours where I am not thinking about myself at all.
It works as a therapy for me and people won't judge you. The fact that you help is enough.

I just googled what programs there are and wrote an email that I would help for free. 1 week later it started.

>>12852
*what I know

>>12870
That's… Well, bad, but in a way it's nice to know there are people with my same basic circumstances.

I feel bad you had to experience that though. Having valued yourself for some perceived intelligence and then getting both dropped into social interaction and being introduced to the fact that you're actually exceedingly ignorant in a lot of ways at the same time was a crippling thing for me.

Umm… It's actually really rare I meet someone I can relate to upbringing-wise, wanna talk about stuff?

Either way, I wish you the best.
(And as for the housewife thing, I bet you're enough of a qt to be something like that anyway.)

>>12897

>Umm… It's actually really rare I meet someone I can relate to upbringing-wise, wanna talk about stuff?

I'd be happy to, do you mean over skype or something?

Though first I should clarify that I was actually only partially homeschooled. I was put in and taken out of the mainstream education system repeatedly until the 8th grade, when I left it for good. I still know what you mean about suddenly finding out that you're both socially inept and ignorant though, as my mother sheltered me to the point that even though I went to normal school some years, I still didn't know a lot of basic things and couldn't talk to people normally. And in the years I spent in normal school I mostly just sat in a corner, in my own world, while everyone ignored me. So I never actually learned anything. Despite this, my mother constantly told me how smart and special and gifted I was, and since there was nobody to show me otherwise, I believed it until I moved away from her and saw how far behind everyone else I
actually was. So I may as well have not gone to school at all for all the good it did me.

Sorry if I made it seem like I went through the exact same thing as you. ;_;

>>12910
That's fine, your story is still more relatable than it is not.
And yeah I suppose. Don't really feel like posting mine though. Got an email you can share?

>>12911

alinsanalkamel@gmail.com should work.

Have fun with this one.

I'm not an academic fuck-up nor am I a NEET by choice (although I am very much a social fuck-up). I have a J.D. and an M.A. in translation (English to French, French to English, Italian to French), both from a Tier 2 university. I also have an Associate's degree in modern languages. My J.D. GPA was middling to good because of issues I'll write about later but my M.A. GPA was really, really high.

Yet I have been unemployed for 4 months now and I did accrue debt during my studies (12k$, which isn't what an American J.D. usually gets out with, much less a graduate student, thank God, but I'm not counting 10k$ student debt which I can never get rid of). My savings are almost entirely gone and I live in a bachelor pad, my bedroom is literally my kitchen. I'm quite frugal and I could live easily at minimum wage while paying down my debt, nor would I have any qualms about holding a shit-tier job in spite of my fancy degrees.

However, now I can't make the minimum payments on my debt and soon I'm gonna get harassed by apathetic at best collection agencies who won't understand that I can't pay shit if I can't find a job. I eat only because my mother does my groceries.

I literally can't find a job. Any job, I'm not even picky. I'm told I'm overqualified for the most menial shit. Sometimes I'm even told that I don't have enough experience - how am I supposed to get experience being a fucking cashier at Target if nobody will allow me to get some? Is it that difficult? I mean Jesus Christ, I've seen actual intellectually handicapped cashiers, if they can do it then how could I not? Why does it even matter if I'm overqualified or not? Sure, I could get better on paper, but if I could in practice, then I wouldn't be applying at Target, would I?

Sometimes I can get freelance translation shit that pays peanuts, but I can't get a real translation job because I don't have connections (I had no idea this domain was so rife with nepotism, I've been told to say goodbye to a good job in the domain if I don't know important people, my almost perfect trilingualism be damned). I don't have my bar license (too fucking expensive, it's literally thievery at this point) so I can't practice law even if I have the degree. I've tried getting a job as a paralegal but in my country it absolutely takes a paralegal diploma to do it, because apparently my J.D. doesn't mean that I can research legal trivia while I've done it in essence for 3 years.

My academic achievements are my biggest pride and my resume is littered with scholarships and awards, but little work experience or extracurricular stuff. I've been told I may have more luck striking off my J.D. and M.A. off my resume for the shit-tier jobs, but then it's almost empty, which isn't much better.

I had a really good job for 2 years before I was laid off and I can't get unemployment because I was a student then (horseshit, why did I even pay UB in that case, 400$/month for something I can't even use).

This is really getting to me and unless I find a job and quick, I'm gonna have to go bankrupt and go back to live with my mom where I know I'll never be able to get back up. I have this huge fucking sword over my head and no matter how much I try, I can't get rid of it. I have applied to around 150 places, some calls, a few interviews, nothing.

(1/2)

I've been struggling with crippling social anxiety (really heavy duty to the point where my mother had to order my Subway for me or take my appointments because I simply couldn't do it, the first time I managed to look at somebody in the eyes I was 19 and that took two years of work) as well as recurrent clinical depression (again, really heavy duty, I actually was hospitalized a few times) for all of my life and every professional I still see can't get over how much I've accomplished since I first came to them. I actually spent two weeks in the streets during my J.D., sleeping on my backpack with other hobos making sure nobody was gonna rip pages off my overpriced law books to roll a spliff (or just steal them) and going to class like nothing was up due to problems in the household, after which I realized I had to live (and most importantly, not stink) even with no work, hence the debt. Acquaintances from my J.D. still call me the "Vagrant Jurist".

I literally built everything I have from the ground up and I honestly don't think I will mentally survive if this all comes crumbling around me. I'm not medicated (too expensive even with universal health care, since my not being a student, a gov't worker, a parent or anyone that matters means that I have to pay a portion of the price) but I'm pretty knowledgeable about ethnobotany and I have a stash of a few different cheap and legal plants to help me out when it's too hard for me to bear.

However, I am nothing if not grimly tenacious. I don't like challenges and I tend to avoid them. But when challenges are forced onto me, I will bear them without grinning and usually I do manage to win. I was born literally strangled by the umbilical cord attaching me to my mother and my heart (and the oxygen flow to my brain) stopped. Obviously, I was revived, but the doctor told my mom I was going to be mentally handicapped. Nope, I'm a bright motherlover, I won't be falsely modest, I really am. I suffered every form of bullying under the sun by boys and girls alike all the way through high school because I kept telling myself I'd have a life worth living after that. That eventually came and I was happier than a pig in shit. But this life or the one outcome I can foresee? No, fuck that. For once it finally gets good, and all my efforts are wiped out because I was laid off. Not even fired, laid off because of a cut in budget.

As I said earlier, if it gets to that, I won't get back up. Nope, I'm over and done. Perhaps I won't kill myself (I'm just mentally unable to due to the aforementioned tenacity), but I might get on disability and just live out the rest of my life at my mom's or in subsidized housing eating rice with veggies, spending my days on the computer, all the while smoking massive amounts of pot until my once gloriously capable brain shrivels to the size of a pea and I become a zombie who's only reason to live is to keep living for the Hell of it.

I would carry this burden as I have done so many times through my life if it wasn't for the fact that save my mother and my sister, I have literally no one to support me. No friends or girlfriend or whatever.

I've never felt so alone in vulnerable in a long time and I suppose that's why I'm looking for help, any help, from anyone. I'm a loner by nature and by choice and I usually enjoy it, but in times like these, I can see the utility of having a social network. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like the entire world has failed me, because I certainly haven't failed myself. I went from quasi-autistic sperg-like boy to absolute high school reject to law student to hobo to gainfully employed law student to graduate student. That's a huge accomplishment, but there's nothing, nothing in front of me to show for all the efforts and sacrifices I've put in life.

I don't know why I can't get a good job in the domain in which I studied and FUCKING EXCELLED, I mean holy shit if I were a bad student, okay I could get it, but I graduated in the Dean's fucking list. I don't know why I couldn't get UB because I was a student when I needed it, even though I was paying for it. I've spent my entire life building this and now it's all gone because the greedy fucks we elected (I was a public servant) cut into services to citizens to buy fancy new jets and helicopters and to subsidize big business (what else). Oh yeah, I couldn't get UB thanks to their "reforms" too.

Help.

(2/2)