I don't really feel like just giving up, I've been fighting to live for quite a long time now. But it's a battle just for the sake of it. In the end it means nothing.
You do impact your life greatly, as well as lives of those you meet along the way, which is why I want to keep living. I'd like to think that I've saved at least 2 people and improved lives of a couple others, even if just a little, and I'd like to keep doing that.
However, in the end, a human life, humans as a species in general are a speck of dust. It doesn't mean you shouldn't be the best piece of dust you can be but that's what you are.
Even if you'll never see a positive change in your lifetime, you can build foundations and pave a path for the next generation to try again. At the very least, I want to do that. You don't have to stop affecting the world when you die.
>>3208>However, in the end, a human life, humans as a species in general are a speck of dust. It doesn't mean you shouldn't be the best piece of dust you can be but that's what you are.
Ah, this feeling, I think we all experience this a couple of times in the span of our lives. Exactly because it doesn't matter is why you shouldn't over think it too much. If we aren't really meant to be something at all, then so be it,
I'm personally ok with that. I'm kind of nihilistic after all, so disappearing is quite reassuring in the end, though I'm not content with how edgy this makes me sound.
Why do you care?
You recognize there isn't some kind of great monolithic meaning carried down from on high.
It's great that we're here for no single reason or purpose beyond the endless self-propagation we've found meaningful things beyond. It's great we aren't bound by some emotionally ill father in the sky. It's great that we're free, fundamentally free.
How is that not fucking great?
We can do whatever we want. We don't have to sit inside ourselves and if we feel we do we can and unless we care what others think, it won't matter. In fact it won't matter either way.
As far as we know, every other form of life ever has not only not had our self-awareness or ability for complex emotion and self-expression, they've mostly just lived to outfuck and outfight each other, growing and changing toward nothing but death. We do too, but we do more than just that, and even the ways that we do that, our tears and out blood and our pain and our joys, they're beautiful, and even if they don't have a set meaning I'm glad we exist for the brief moment we do, even though I'm pretty much alone and feel like shit most of the time. Because I have that, and even that has some value. At least to me, and again, if that's the only meaning there is, so be it.
So what? You dont need to amount to anything, we should be able to just enjoy what we have.
All this amount to anything shit just stuff people say to make other people work.
Besides if you want to do something, go for it, if not thats just fine.