Does anyone else feel like they've been NEETbrained for essentially all of their life? Even in elementary school, I could never see myself going to college, because I hated school too much (I have ADHD and autism), and when I was in middle school, my plan was to mooch off my family until they die (my family consisted of two people who could have taken care of me), then either:
1. Mooch off friends (I didn't want to do that because even I am capable of basic guilt, but seeing as my family brought me into this world and fucked me up, I felt like I was owed them taking care of me).I have no friends now. I don't leave the house unless to help my mom with groceries, which is a shame because today was actually the perfect weather to relax in it :( but I don't really have lawn chairs etc.
2. Go to jail/prison for the rest of my life. Considering the type of people who end up there, how guards treat you, and what actions would even have to lead me there, no.
3. Go to a mental hospital for the rest of my life. I have been in them before. After the adjustment period, they're actually really nice. I remember being in one of those blue gowns and looking at myself in the mirror and feeling like that was the only place for me.
So yeah. I don't relate to the common NEET's life that went something like:
>be me>exists>naturally develop career-based dreams>go to college for them (outside of NEETs who dropped out of high school, but a lot seemed to go to college)>fail college or graduate (I'm surprised (and impressed) by the amount of NEETs who went to college, even if they never graduated)>somehow failed in the workforce, probably due to social awkwardness and not being able to social network or have coworkers like them, idkMy life was more like being overwhelmed with the idea of growing up since I was 11-12 and never being able to cope with the growing accountability, responsibility, and independence, which led me to become suicidal so I never really SERIOUSLY planned for the future. I mean I did plan for the mooching/jail/mental hospital thing, but I genuinely just expected (and hoped) to be dead before 18. Now that I'm out of school, I am not actively suicidal, but… empty? Like I want something that doesn't exist. Purpose,
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