>>8684>I would still want to go for midnight walks/bikerides but maybe that would make me a traitor to the based kino hikki movement.Think about it this way: If living to an ideal "based, hikki lifestyle" is making you miserable, is it really worth pursuing? Do you really care about what imagined hikki posters think of you going on hikes or walking outside? Sometimes you got brush that idealized hikki shit aside, your own personal happiness is much more important. Live for you and what makes you happy, not what imagined anons may think you'll never actually meet. Don't be selfish though, give adequate care to the real people around you who care, but ultimately live for yourself because yourself is going to be the only one who sticks with you for life.
I also think you are catastrophizing a bit too much with the rest of your post and need to learn some postive self-affirmations. I'm sure you aren't as ugly as you think. And if you are? Who cares, what matters to most people, besides shallow cis women, is personality and how much you mesh with theirs. People tend to overrate looks in discussion but in reality, most people are looking for someone who understands them