/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

>>688
Situation is more complex than I showed on my first post. All you’re saying worked and was possible for the first couple of years, but the environment has changed.

I was in good terms with the team. Even if I have little need to talk, some normalfags just must keep their mouths running so I did find common interests with some.
There was this 50 years old with whom I couldn’t, though. Being-loud-is-funny, constant disgusting sexual/faecal comments type of guy, mentality of a stupid 12 year old. I didn’t know what to respond in face of such stupidity so I wouldn’t say anything.

With time he gathered a group of friends, forming a clique. Some I used to get along with, two I even helped on personal projects. People who used to show manners and intelligence began levelling themselves down to fit in with the 50yo. The younger ones act like fan boys of the older ones. Their opinions, tastes, behaviours are all identical to the role model in retardation.

They began pushing me to shit talk other coworkers, the company, the boss, even random strangers passing by… I wouldn’t agree and either pointed the positives or just ignored the subject.
Suddenly it was stupid that I was good at a task or hobby. But it was also ridiculous that I was bad at something else. Even if they have the same interests, qualities or flaws that I do. I confronted them, they pretended nothing was going on.

Today I'm their favourite conversation topic and have to listen to taunting whenever I pass by 2 or more of them. If they are alone and out of sight of the 50yo they act normal.

>The good thing about gossip is that, once at least one of them gets fond of you they will then spread it to the others.
That was true in the beginning. The clique will report all I say or do back to the older ones so they can decide what to think of it and if it can be used against me.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

I'm more depressed than i ever felt as a neet with no money. i got a rush of adrenaline thinking about just doing it. last time i felt that was when i was looking over a bridge trying to get courage to fcking jump off it

I'm 32 and moving out of my mom's house for the first time to transfer to a four year school (free ride I don't deserve but am happy to have in any case; I won't be working while finishing my degree)
0 job experience
wish I could larp as a 20 year old without being creepy and mega cringe, like the past 12 years of empty space didn't happen, and like I'm having the same college experience that everyone else is having
my life is never going to not feel shameful unless I either do something extraordinary (lol) or manage to go innawoods

>>716
just pretend you wanted a change of careers. plenty of mature age students go to college at your age.

>>725
how do i get out of this mindset where i strongly feel correctly that everyone would be extremely happy to see my dead with my brains blown out strewn

I'd like to have that mindset XD And I'm glad that you're re-integrating into normal society. The benefits are quite good. For some reason I think I'll never fit in, though. It's like the same experiences from my childhood keep repeating over and over again throughout my life. First with kids, then with teenagers, and currently with adults.
It's kinda scary.
But, again, I'm happy that you're doing well! Keep moving forward :-)

hi , helth update. it looks like ive been suffering from extremely bad head pressure/headache for years on end unbeknownst . i realize this as i really tried doing chin tucks and head stretches properly just last night and feel instantaneously better.

i hope entire years of this hasnt fucked my brain/head/etc irreversibly

i think now i will be better at sensing, and

>>720




do you think this is something thats within your control thats affecting your experiences

>>718

do you know a community i could fit into and if not how to cope being alone for the rest of my life

>>718
please help me with some realistic perspective. right now i just feel like everything is skate 3 ragdoll physics

>>656
What's this angel cat art from anon? Unique style I haven't seen before, would make a good game.

>>659
the low-res textures being contrasted with the high-fidelity uv maps is really cool. i've been wanting to get into modelling for a while. what do you guys think of my birba?

>>660
I'd say you're already pretty into modelling! You're birba looks great.

A bit of an update:

Thanks all for the kind words and advice. I cringed pretty hard rereading my epic self pity rant here lol. Thanks uboa for the advice and taking the time to read my slop lol.

I've realized recently how much of a fair weather fan I am when it comes to my own life. When I'm in the dumps I can't seem to get out (see the parent post), but when I'm happy I might as well be floating. I can't imagine thinking any of the stuff I did 4 weeks ago right now.

The spring semester has been going really well. I'm making new friends, exercising a lot, doing my HW and reading a ton, and praying/reading the bible every day. I also joined that self-defense club and it's been unexpectedly fun so far. Please send me ur positive energy /rec/anons, I really want to keep up what I've got going.

There's this cute girl who's friends with a new friend of mine. She's in the same class as us, but I haven't talked to her much even though we sit in the same area and have a mutual friend. I get pretty obsessive about the people I like and they start to take up like 10% of my waking thoughts, and the same thing is happening with this girl, but unlike the other times I think I might have Jesus encouraging me for this one, because something kind of crazy happened tonight.

I was at the dining hall sitting outside and for some reason I thought to myself "If that girl is in the dining hall when I go inside to put my dishes away I'm going to go talk to her one-on-one."

Sure enough when I went back inside she was there. No joke. I did like 5 circles around the hall before I steeled myself to talk to her. I literally mentally said to myself: "Come on dude, Trust Jesus, this is a gift, just do it, just go talk to her." and was finally able to drag myself over to her. We had a normal conversation about a shared class and she gave me her number and I almost had a nervous breakdown leaving the dining hall afterwards lol. It's been really long since I've had a real crush and I'm still kind of freaking out over it.

>>655
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>666
Sounds like you found your own ego not Jesus. You saw the girl sitting in the dining hall, decided you wanted to talk to her of your own free will, and then ascribed divine providence to her sitting there or not, which is of her own free will, and then affirmed such supposed providence when she was in order to psyche yourself up to go talk to her. And grats on talking to her and all and doing well and all, but I'm not even an athiest and this kind of line of thinking irks me. You are not so special as to have a personal line to God and he is not talking to you like that. So, so, so many people have spiraled into psychosis because they misidentify their own thoughts as external ones given to them by a divine power.
You're also selling yourself short, you are capable of doing courageous things of your own volition.

I write in my journal a lot. Even when im with others i'll often be listening and participating with the conversation as I draw my surroundings or maybe some fantastical creatures or whatever.
I've found that it helps me mull over my thoughts so I can say them with more confidence when I eventually do say them. I use both digital and traditional journals.

lol covid NEETs, good post otherwise.

It's been another year so I may as well give another update.
After my contract ended in April 2023 I was a NEET again until last February. I somehow managed to get a bunch of interviews at some incredibly high-profile places but I think I was too autistic in the interview for all of them. Eventually I found another part-time research job in February, which has been pretty comfy (and way, way below the skillset they were asking for - a PhD was preferred for a role that has just been printing things off and proofing things for other people). So I can't really complain too much.
I've also been offered a spot on two doctoral programs. One is 4 years and offers a full scholarship with just enough of a stiped to live off but I'd have to move to Asia for it. I've not heard back on funding from the other one yet but it's only 3 years and has a (much) better reputation, so I'd prefer to go there. Either way I'm making progress. For the first time in a very long time I'm not worried about the future.

>>574
As someone who's considering doing a PhD, your post fills me with hope, anon

>>575
I'm glad you found this useful. If nothing else I want this thread to show that you can do stuff with enough ability, effort and patience.
Best of luck with your applications, and consider applying internationally, especially if you need the money. Anecdotally, I had two interviews for PhDs in the Netherlands last year and both paid very well. I understand Switzerland pays very well, too. The University of [spoler]Hong Kong[/spoiler] offers funding with every place but it's barely enough to live off, unless you get the big fellowship, in which case it pays very well.

Update doko

>>693
I was meaning to give an update but I don't have all that much to say. I ended up getting the big stipend for my PhD, which I've been doing that for the last year, so I've been very comfortable.
Things sucked for a while, but I guess everything worked out in the end. I'm not sure if there's a message here but I hope that people can draw some comfort from this thread.

I can relate to this, I stopped being a NEET over a decade ago now but it happened to me, I just told them how I felt and let them be after that.
At the same time, when I was a NEET I didn't like at all when people came to me with their ideas of self improvement and health, so I understand them too.
In the end they made it too. I think simply seeing me get better helped them.
The NEET who look down on people who get out of it exist, but I don't think it's a product of being NEET, I believe they'd be as lame as non-NEET.

After finally stopping being a NEET my former friends refused the challenge of adapting to my new unavailable lifestyle, they seem to feel safer with me contained to a room, but I know more than anyone that in the events of a cataclysm the low tier computer people like me would be the first to go, i needed to train my body into something capable of enduring things in case of scarcity.

>>695
>and they begin to treat you with resentment for doing that
I think that's thing that irritates me the most dealing with some old online friends and communities.

>You have a job? normalfag you dont understand my pain
>You have irl friends? how dare you normalfag
>You have a girlfriend and you have had sex? I can't believe I was ever friends with you traitor
It's so reductive and imageboard-brain poisoned. Especially the people who write you off when you dare speak about your problems with any of those three subjects (job, friends, relationships). If these are such a silver bullet to ending neetdom and living happy, healthy lives then why isn't every "normalfag" content with their lives? There are salarymen with wives and kids inches away from suicide everyday. Neetdom in general is a luxury I couldn't afford to keep, and I changed my life path accordingly. I still get paid like shit at my job, my girlfriend left me, and my group of irl friends is always dwindling but I stay the course because I want to die with something more to my name than "prolific shitposter on an imageboard/forum".

Why? Well for one, my parents can't fund my lifestyle forever and deserve their own financial freedom as well. Two, I want to find fulfillment in life beyond a screen and chatroom/board, there's more to life than sitting in your room playing video games and reminiscing on the good ol days of the internet (because fun fact: those good ol days aren't coming back no matter how much you shitpost, troll people, harass via forums and comment sections, support podcasters and comedians who act like they know shit but don't, and elect right wing politicians who act like they cater to you for your vote). Eventually you got to take some initiative in your life and find alternatives/new hobbies to the things that once gave you joy.

My advice to you op is to just ignore those people, if they are fostering resentment to you over miniscule steps towards improvement. They clearly don't have the emotional maturity or mental clarity to see what you got really ain't shit that 70%-80% of the population don't already have and you need support from uplifting people, not those that will drag you down. These wastes of space will just degrade you Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

How have you been training anon? To me these new types of warfare make physical training seem worthless to protect myself with, I'm interested in how you've built resistance.

>>703
Are you Ukranian or Iranian? Otherwise I don't think you're going to war anytime soon.

>>706
I am neither of those

this post eer\ly reflects how i feel.. i wonder what that means

Become a misogynist

>>698
>I'm sorry for this stupid, whiny post.
Don't be so hard on yourself. We all have to let it out sometimes.

>>698
It can't be that stupid if so many of us feel the same way.

At some point I managed to find joy in my work to justify waking up in the morning, but I can't do that any more, people are just unbearable. I have about 1 hour of free time per day. I can either read or play piano. Then it's back to bed and repeat it all over again. What are we even working for, for 1 hour of free time, feeling exhausted?

>What are we even working for
The idea is to have a population stupid enough to not ask these questions, or otherwise stupid enough to believe voting will fix it.

>>396
You're right, this happened to me, my mother raised me to dependant and ineffectual, it's a terriblee thing to do to a child.

>>420
cat video proved wrong
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jto2peSOLac

>>413

I wonder if you got away from your family…

late but i feel this too anon. i was online schooled as well and my parents refused to take me anywhere for socialization so i pretty much was forced to waste my teenage years and the latter half of my childhood on the internet (who knew being almost forcibly exposed 24/7 as someones only means of socializing to the internet could cause persecutory delusions and trouble with reality perception in a child). i'm turning 19 in a few months but i don't know if i can get out, i don't even have my id and am too scared to cross the street (i never go out anyway, too scared to at all). the thought of disappointing my family or making my parents mad by leaving/thinking about leaving scares me as well and i don't know how they'll hold up if i ever move out because we're living in squalor right now, they're both depressed and asocial and never want to do anything, basically hikkineets themselves. my aunt has plans to help me soon though so i have that going for me. i'd like to believe we will make it, you just have to press through even if it is hard and seems like there'll never be an end

nooo you're so sexy please don't kill yourself