/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

>>807
love the way you immediately made this about yourself

>>808
Of course you love it, because there's nothing wrong with it and is in fact spot on. Thank you for appreciating it.

OP is asking for advice, talking about my personal experience to use as example is perfectly fair, especially when I specify precisely that when I say my experiences would probably not work on OP.

I also love your response. I love the part where you discard half of the post that doesn't speak about my experience at all just so you can say I make it about me.

I love the use of the word "immediately" as well, because I don't start talking about my experience until the last part of my post.

>>809
you write like lair4anon lol

>How do you guys make friends?
Idk honestly. it kinda happens in social events or online in groups chat, another (yet virtual) social gathering.
I don't have many close friends. got lucky enough to keep contacts and stick with childhood friends. these are the first ones i can consider close. and then the next ones are old internet friends from imageboards that we happen to have stuck around with eachother for a long time. We are all in the same group chat, but (I) have limited 1:1 talks privately with them. only a few i talk to regularly. and that's it. that's my friend circle.
there's other people i know, but i'd be more comfortable calling them acquaintances at best. details about them are fuzzy at best. Humans can only properly keep up with so few friends, you know?

>I really don't want to invest a lot of time and effort into new friendships just so they can let me down years later too. I don't know what to do.
See, the thing is that forming these connections and maintaining them, for me, never felt like it required actual effort. I don't think it should, for anyone, either. it felt like i was passively participating in building a friendship, while i am doing this whole socializing thing. that last part is what drains my battery and makes me go reclusive to do my own things. I wanna play a team game? Well let's grab a couple folks that wants to, too. the purpose is to play the game and i'm creating a connection in the process. Not always, but sometimes it passively happens.
(I used that example like I still do all of that myself, but the truth is that I don't do that anymore. I used to do it when I was younger playing competitive games. I much prefer to stick to myself nowadays…)

It also helps to be a regular at some place or online space. to be somewhat known by other regulars. these are your acquaintances with who one of em may (finally) click with you and that's when they'll go from acquaintance to a friend. that kind of connection also happens at a job. (I understand where I am posting this to, but in the interest of being comprehensive and sharing my experiences : yeah. it's pretty easy to create acquaintances at a job.)

ig tl;dr : be a regular somewhere. in meatspace or on the wired. it'll just happen.
as for your friends atm : don't think too hard about it. no need to cut contacts if you don't gotta. You'll find folks that align bPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>805
i'm really sorry to hear that. i've had similar experiences i think, but not on the level you're talking about.

i guess i'm "friends" with the social workers. and i know some actually kind of cool discord trannies. but making friends irl is beyond me. it's especially egregious to be an uber zoom zoom in that kind of situation i think; you mentioned how your friends were callous and irony-poisoned, which is something i've dealt with too (although ime it's moreso that they simply have no connection to the world or self-awareness of their place in it as opposed to being dedicated to destroying those who do).


i don't really have any advice, sorry, but i wish you the best of luck. sorry for sounding pretentious haha

You're confusing healthcare and institutions

>>783
In my experience they are the same.

>>718
please help me with some realistic perspective. right now i just feel like everything is skate 3 ragdoll physics

>>721
>ive been suffering from extremely bad head pressure/headache for years
I had a bad pressure headache for two days once and I went to the doctor and they told me that it's a pressure headache and I was able to fix it easily.
Just a reminder that if something is hurting and you can afford it, go to the doctor. Pressure headaches are easy to fix if you're healthy otherwise. Even if whatever is hurting you doesn't appear lethal, you shouldn't be suffering for so long without aid…
>inb4 only people who can't afford it wouldn't go to the doctor
Some people will try to sit anything out. Don't do that. Try to find the cause, whether it's physical or psychological or try to find something that helps.
Saying this as someone who has been sitting something out because I don't want to go to the doctor but I'm at a point where it's so bad, I think I'll have to go…

>>759
thanks for the reply

hmm

I didn't know that there were people in the same situation as me out there. It makes me feel better.
I've been having trouble finding my way out of this due to my own personality. I tend to overshare, and can't read social situations, so my interactions are weird most of the time. It's like I can't help it XD
And that's also a reason I haven't been able to stay in any job. My akwardness just floats to the surface and makes me ruin everything.

And now my body hurts due to some medical complications. So, it sucks.

But at least programming is cool, and cyberpunk, and I'm learning a new language! So it's not so bad I guess.

Anyway, I'm happy to know that I'm not alone. I mean, it's not the best place to be in, but… At least is less bad when

>>675

I have no clue if you're still on here. I haven't posted on here since like…2014.

Would you essentially be describing rumination/perseveration? From what I've read from other neurodivergent folks (specifically those with autism), SSRIs can help with ruminating.

My issue was for a long time, I didn't realize most of my issues were due to ruminating. I was too focused on the things that would make me ruminate in the first place that I didn't made the connection until many years later.

Nobody should be taking SSRIs. They turn people into p-zombies. Every mass shooter of the past fifty years has been on SSRIs. If anything they should be banned.

>>771
Seconded, I've seen what that garbage can do to people

Nobody should be having gay furry sex. It turns people into :3-zombies. Every autist of the past fifty years has had gay furry sex. If anything they should be banned.

>>771
I agree with the sentiment to some degree, but I don't think they make every single person a zombie. It's hyperbolic. The issue isn't that SSRIs are useless, its that theyre over prescribed and general modern medicine around mental health is still pretty early in its infancy.

The shooters and similar are usually people who while maybe have mental illness, are more a product of their environment. Someone just going on a spree shooting just because isn't really a common thing. Instead it's usually people radicalized or just giving into their delusions and regardless of any of that, have failing support systems.

A big thing for me is that most medicine is far behind as well as most the time mental health professionals ignore the actual contextual issues someone faces and generalizes. An incel that goes on to commit mass murder isn't the same as someone whos delusional from schizo disorders. But almost everyone regardless of your issues, will be treated the same by a doctor as the first steps. Even with therapy its like this thou can vary a bit more. Generally thou, in the west at least, CBT therapy is the first choice automatically. This can be detrimental to many people because its focusing on fixing your actions more than anything else. And like someone who experienced massive child abuse being told to just fix their own actions can lead to horrific outcomes for their wellbeing. Just to give an example.

>>755
zoinks thats rough

There's an indie bookshop in town and it looks lime a sweet gig to work at. Barstool at the front counter, just have to help lost aunts find childrens' books for gifts and ring that stuff up. Entire shop is only as big as a living room so not a ton of moving around.

I always kinda admired day traders and cryptobros but those days are gone, can't compete with bots.

>>758
I do believe trading will continue providing an edge to the talented and hard working for more time than one would think. Mostly because the markets are so vast that it would be hard to make all of them instantly efficient across every single time frame and industry. Super advanced, profitable algorithms do not inform this breadth as their edge is very specific, and don't measure up even if they were all combined (otherwise nobody except machines would be making money which is untrue today). You might be the only person in the whole world that knows certain information or has a mind who perceives things in a certain way that can be used in this arena to create an edge. Until AI can account for things like that I don't think it will be a solved game.

>>747
Being sociable and feeing a deep connection are two very different things. I’ve good at the former, but still struggle to feel like I have a truly deep connection with anyone

Take it slow man
seriously, it's already a big thing that you have started going out, and it's great :3
Conections form slowly, and even if you don't feel as conected to them as you want you should keep trying. It's a good fight

>>749
its not. everyone is either retarded or incompatible for the purpose of forming a real connection. everything sucks. life is a banal grind towards a mediocre embarrassing death with no purpose. everything you love is a product. suffering is the only constant.

>>665
i shower too much. always afraid of being too moist or smelly or sticky. i can't wait until i can be a brain in a vat.

I graduated high school in 2018 and almost immediately became a neet since I didn't really have any plan or goals after high school, only taking a temporary break in the first half of 2021 to study a field I have no interest in but both my parents really insisted I should pursue it. We're not rich and they spent a lot of money, but I never ended up succeeding due to flimsy medical reasons, and thus continued being a neet for the next couple of years.

Just started my very first day at college studying a degree I have no interest in but only pursued because of the ease of landing a job; since I'm a neet with no work experience or skills, even landing a part time job at the shittiest of places is nigh impossible. I haven't really spoken to my high school friends since graduating and almost every single one of them is successful; two even graduated from the same college I'm currently attending (one graduating in 2021 and the other in 2024). It's pretty lonely here since everybody else seems to already have established friend groups, and I hate how all my classes are in the late afternoon.

Seeing the absurd costs for just one year at college is making me think twice about enrolling here due to the student loans and not wanting to financially burden my parents any further. But I know if I quit, then there really isn't future for me other than the rope, so it seems like I'll continue to study at college. The problem is whether I'd be able to successfully study or not, considering that the obscene amounts of studying (about 14 hours per day) that I did during my small break from neetdom I had in 2021 made me constantly day dream about doing a murder-suicide (though not seriously). Fingers crossed I'll be able to pull through these next three to four years by myself.

>>669
Nothing worth doing is easy anon, thaf's what makes being a neet so appealing.
I found the best way to meet new people is clubs (like school clubs) and volunteering.

It's going to feel awkward as hell the first time you do it but truat me when I say it gets easier. A little psychology trick here is that people
A.)Love to talk about themselves
B.)Join clubs for things that interest them
C.)are generally very excited when people want to learn about something they're passionate about.
This gets them talking to you and generally makes them predisposed to liking you.

I'd suggest you keep with school for now, even putting
>some higher education but no degree
On a resume is helpful for some jobs. I'm also sure your parents want you to get in a better spot so for god's sake take the help they're offering.

>t. Former socially retarded, neurotic neet who went to ATC school, washed out, then went from volunteering at an anime convention (because I couldn't afford the ticket) to being one of the volunteer coordinators because I played too much OpenTTD and got good at scheduling I guess.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>671
Appreciate the advice anon. On my second week and I'm already exhausted by it, haha. The carpark's always full so I have to park far away from the campus and all my classes, at the very least, end some time in the afternoon so I've been finding it difficult to find a job since all the part-time ones are either way above my league (eg. being an experienced or educated in a field/skill) or clash with my classes. It's also summer right now where I live so making the trek from campus to my car makes it even more exhausting, so I end up coming home too tired to do any homework or any of the required reading. I'm just glad that the workload isn't as bad as I had it in 2021 (at least not right now…)

>>671
>field service work
What do you service, anon?

>>656
What's this angel cat art from anon? Unique style I haven't seen before, would make a good game.

>>659
the low-res textures being contrasted with the high-fidelity uv maps is really cool. i've been wanting to get into modelling for a while. what do you guys think of my birba?

>>660
I'd say you're already pretty into modelling! You're birba looks great.

A bit of an update:

Thanks all for the kind words and advice. I cringed pretty hard rereading my epic self pity rant here lol. Thanks uboa for the advice and taking the time to read my slop lol.

I've realized recently how much of a fair weather fan I am when it comes to my own life. When I'm in the dumps I can't seem to get out (see the parent post), but when I'm happy I might as well be floating. I can't imagine thinking any of the stuff I did 4 weeks ago right now.

The spring semester has been going really well. I'm making new friends, exercising a lot, doing my HW and reading a ton, and praying/reading the bible every day. I also joined that self-defense club and it's been unexpectedly fun so far. Please send me ur positive energy /rec/anons, I really want to keep up what I've got going.

There's this cute girl who's friends with a new friend of mine. She's in the same class as us, but I haven't talked to her much even though we sit in the same area and have a mutual friend. I get pretty obsessive about the people I like and they start to take up like 10% of my waking thoughts, and the same thing is happening with this girl, but unlike the other times I think I might have Jesus encouraging me for this one, because something kind of crazy happened tonight.

I was at the dining hall sitting outside and for some reason I thought to myself "If that girl is in the dining hall when I go inside to put my dishes away I'm going to go talk to her one-on-one."

Sure enough when I went back inside she was there. No joke. I did like 5 circles around the hall before I steeled myself to talk to her. I literally mentally said to myself: "Come on dude, Trust Jesus, this is a gift, just do it, just go talk to her." and was finally able to drag myself over to her. We had a normal conversation about a shared class and she gave me her number and I almost had a nervous breakdown leaving the dining hall afterwards lol. It's been really long since I've had a real crush and I'm still kind of freaking out over it.

>>655
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>666
Sounds like you found your own ego not Jesus. You saw the girl sitting in the dining hall, decided you wanted to talk to her of your own free will, and then ascribed divine providence to her sitting there or not, which is of her own free will, and then affirmed such supposed providence when she was in order to psyche yourself up to go talk to her. And grats on talking to her and all and doing well and all, but I'm not even an athiest and this kind of line of thinking irks me. You are not so special as to have a personal line to God and he is not talking to you like that. So, so, so many people have spiraled into psychosis because they misidentify their own thoughts as external ones given to them by a divine power.
You're also selling yourself short, you are capable of doing courageous things of your own volition.

I write in my journal a lot. Even when im with others i'll often be listening and participating with the conversation as I draw my surroundings or maybe some fantastical creatures or whatever.
I've found that it helps me mull over my thoughts so I can say them with more confidence when I eventually do say them. I use both digital and traditional journals.

lol covid NEETs, good post otherwise.