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/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

Board for recovering NEETs and Ex-NEETs who are trying to reintegrate.
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The Uboachan Dream World MUD is back online, sorry for the downtime.

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 No.393[Reply]

I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. I don't know where else to say this and I want to vent somewhere. I'm not a NEET so I don't really feel it appropriate to post on /hikki/.

Well, I say I want to vent, but I had a whole blogpost typed up and deleted it out of embarrassment. The truth of the matter is my life is not really that bad. It could be better, but I feel silly complaining about it when so many others out there have it so much worse. I'm just lonely. I feel like I have nobody to turn to. I don't feel close to my family and I haven't since I was a kid. I don't have very many friends and I don't feel close to them either. It's hard for me to connect to others. Small problems just pile up and weigh down on me and I have no one to help alleviate it. I just want somebody to see the good I try to do. I want someone to want to see me happy. I want someone I can go to at the end of the day and be held and kissed by and told that I tried my best and that things will be okay. I don't need constant sex or a high-paying job or anything like that. I'm just tired of constantly playing therapist for others. For almost every adult friendship and the one relationship I've been in, all I have been is a blank slate and a shoulder to cry on. I'm tired of being the caregiver. I'm tired of being the only one who's there for me. I have bad days often and no one to make them okay. I'm really tired of it and I don't know what to do. I know I'm likely the problem. I just want to be accepted and loved and comforted. Sorry for complaining.

 No.394

>>393
I was feeling exactly like that a while ago, especially with the constant loneliness and co-dependency on me by others. Understandable.

I can't tell you how to fix your friendships, that's up to you. Albeit I can tell you what I did on my own. The biggest thing to creating healthy friendships for me is to find something you can do and talk about with them together regularly. It doesn't have to be as big as a shared hobby, a shared routine activity is enough. This allows you to open interactions on a tone that doesn't touch your or their emotions.

It might be obvious, but don't go around telling your friends about your worries if you do not want them to do the same to you. They might be fed up with your self-deprecating talk and will pour their emotions on you instead.

TL;DR: Find topics you can circle your conversations around, write down some conversation starters to use and try to derail any self-deprecating rants while respecting their needs (aka do not be that guy who is mean to sensitive people for no reason.)



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 No.384[Reply]

I got a job after 8 years of NEET-dom. I'm tired of the NEET life.

I'm working part time at the front end of Walmart. Still in orientation, but it looks like they're desperate for new guys. I want to use this to develop my soft skills. It's scary, but it's time for change.

I don't know why I'm making this post. But I'll use this thread as an ongoing diary of sorts, like i see some others have done. I plan on going back to school either in the Winter or Spring, I want to acclimate to people again first.

I won't ramble on right now, but I don't know how much I relate to the other NEETs out there, I'm not nearly as cynical about everything I guess.. I'm just an idiot, and have undiagnosed mental health problems that have been around since childhood (I suspect OCD). Which I will be seeking treatment now after I sort out some paperwork with my insurance.

I just want an outlet to talk about my progress, nobody around me seems to care lol.

Cheer me on! I'm cheering you on!
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 No.388

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OP here. Thanks for the encouragement. I worked my first real day at the new job yesterday.

I think I'm at least a little bit lucky, cuz it seems like I have a good team, and even the manager is pretty chill. Still disorganized as fuck though, it's Walmart. From what I read on r/walmart others aren't so lucky in that way.

The downside is this is a busy store, I'm working on the busiest days, and the evening shift which brings in all the weirdos. I already had a few, one guy paid for a car battery in ones. But at the same time, it's nice not to wake up to an alarm every morning. I also live in a place with a lot of immigration from literally everywhere, which wouldn't be a problem, except sometimes it's hard to communicate with customers if there's a problem. I don't even recognize half of the languages I heard.

>>386

>Everything about working at walmart sounds scary as fuck


Yeah, black friday and the holidays are gonna be here before I know it. We'll see how I really do come then.

>It's doubly impressive that you're sorting out insurance stuff in hopes of finding treatment


In my state we're legally required to have insurance, so I have to sign up for medicaid. I've been on it more or less since the beginning. They want me to renew this year I think because my old ID expired. One of my biggest fears is neglecting or messing up legal paperwork and having it fester for years only to get some big fine or jail time way later or some bullshit. maybe that's just my monkey brain scaring me though, lol.
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 No.389

How did you pass the interview OP? I've had a couple interviews for retail positions in the pass but always spilled the spaghetti and didn't get them.

 No.390

>>388
don't feel bad about the languages thing, a lot of people don't know more than their first unless they cared in school, especially americans. the key during those times is to be patient and speak slowly, not necessarily loudly. you can also try to complete sentences for foreigners in english and they'll usually nod excitedly at you if you get it right. obviously you could run into an impatient asshole, but no matter what corporate tells you you're still the one who's there to help in that moment or not, and that customer is practically indebted to you. don't be afraid to pass them along to someone else if you just aren't feeling it.

 No.391

>>389

I think body language makes a difference. For a lot of NEETs with mental health issues they might accidentally give off "school shooter" vibes. I have issues, but it's not autism which can affect body language, it's probably OCD. My body language communicates more like an awkward nervous idiot, i'm constantly checking and trying to reassure myself and overthinking every little shift in tone and expression in the person i'm talking to. I also have facial tics which I don't see people mention or react too much thankfully. But, I maintain good eye contact, I have a sense of when to nod, agree, interject, etc. You don't need to be a savant of social intuition, i'm sure as hell not, but getting the basics down can go a long way. If you creep the interviewer out that's probably going to be a deal breaker, but being awkward isn't, it's an entry level job. be a little more aware of your body language is the best advice i can offer you.

>>390

Yeah, thanks. I grew up here so I'm familiar with talking to people who don't have the best english. I already had to abort one guy's order cuz I couldn't understand what he wanted, his card wasn't working and he just stared at me confused when I said anything.

*hands me item and two receipts* "Are you returning?" "yesyesyesyesyes"

"Okay, you gotta go to customer service for that, I can't help you." *stares blankly* "Customer service?" "nononono" *hands me a gift card and points to receipt saying it has $50*

"Okay, you're buying then?" "yesyesyesyesyes"

I scan the items and put the gift card in, register says card is invalid "This card is invalid, you can go to customer service to sort it out if you want" *stares blankly for a solid minute*
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 No.392

File: 1663222484282.jpg (55.1 KB, 564x564, beautiful-views-from-the-b….jpg)

Congratulations, op. 8-year neet year as well, I'm not exactly looking or a job but I'm a hiki as well for 7 years who's planning to move out and possibly readjust myself for the real world.

That's good you're seeking treatment for your undiagnosed problems, I have a feeling I too have thing undiagnosed but still am a little wary of going to get them diagnosed. Maybe I'm a bit afraid of what I'll find out about myself.

sharpening up my communication skills is also a future goal of mine and would like to be able to small talk like everybody else face-to-face. Best of luck



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 No.117[Reply]

Did anyone else escape NEET life and now just finds it even more lonely and isolating? I honestly haven't posted here or on any other chans in years. After nearly decade of being a NEET from 16 to 24, I did manage to get my life together. I have a job and am in a good university working towards my PHD, I'm what people would consider a "success" in that regards but its just lonely.

I can't relate to normal people, they don't have the same shared experience of growing up a NEET and being fucked in the head for so long. I can't make any connection with these people that has any meaning beyond the superficial. Meanwhile internet culture has completely left me behind and is weird and foreign to me, and honestly not interested in getting involved in most of whatever people are angry about.

I miss those days of feeling connected to others through the screen. At least I had others who understood back then.
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 No.186

File: 1610841489291.jpeg (2.33 MB, 3535x1988, beach_city.jpeg)

>>185
some of the fedverse sites (as in federated network, not glowing people) are kinda good. IRC can still be good if you know where to go, but its quite cliquey and people are very protective of their own little patches, wary of new ppl. i really think that the higher the barrier to entry (as in; technical knowledge) the better the community tends to be, for me personally anyway. i use discord to talk to friends from the realworld but its absolute trash, i hate the design and and the stupid little noises it makes.
People always complain that the internet that we all know is dead, but obviously it is. the wild west was never going to last forever, its just gone more self-hosted. there isn't a company on the face of this earth that would host the shit we all used to talk about circa 2005.
Seek and ye shall find dudes !

 No.188

>>186
I have been seeking for years and found nothing, but thank you.

 No.211

>I can't make any connection with these people that has any meaning beyond the superficial.
Do you try to fit in with society or are you actually trying to bond with people? If the former, then it's no wonder lol. Unironically be yourself and keep an open mind, but have a resolve of steel and be prepared to be treated like a weirdo by oversocialized people. You'll eventually find at least someone similar to yourself.

>>120
I dunno man, I'd love to not *have* to work, but wage society demands so. Being a NEET doesn't necessarily imply being a hikki, you know?

 No.370

>>117
Yes and no. Sound like we walked fairly similar paths (also working towards my PhD and people have completely 180'd their opinions on me as a result). I don't think I'll ever be able to relate to normies but I think that works to your advantage.

What kind of PhD you working on? Something you find yourself quiet passionate about? I'm doing spider ecology with a blend of taxonomy (it's been my passion since childhood) and being super passionate about something normies don't get or understand is like crack for normies. They keep inviting me to do educational and social things (on bad days I feel like they want me to dance for them like some kind of clown, but the more and more I do it, the more and more fun I'm having) and it's building my confidence up nicely. If you feel like you have the spare energy, talk to some local volunteer groups related (even loosely) to your PhD topic and throw some educational volunteer work under your belt. It's true that we may never be able to relate to normies, but when you swim in the same waters as them enough, you'll notice that relating to them isn't the only way to interface with them. Some of them truly appreciate us oddities for what we are and want to hear what we have to say.

Don't sell yourself short eh? You made it to the PhD phase, normie or not, you've got the skills, now you just have to show them off a little!

 No.380

>>186
this post inspired me to apply for a job at the NSA and join the fedverse



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 No.204[Reply]

im an ironworker. my job is quite tough

im not cut out for industrial labour. while i have no problem doing rural labour i feel like i should have a thicker skin and just be able to do whatever is expected of me with my body. i feel like i should be grateful for having a good unionized job with decent employers. but i cant
i dislike it greatly
even slow days tire me the fuck out
and the manager has 0 mercy with the newbies

all around me ive built a hispanic macho image of myself to protect my soft, emotional core. and this rough shell tells me to suck it up and take it, to absorb the pain and the exhaustion and forge myself into a tougher man. but my inner self just wants to be a shut in, focus myself in my career (park ranger) and finish it to finally fuck off to the woods

can you please give me words of encouragment? or at least tell me what you would do in my position?
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.208

>>207
well, promotions are mostly out of the window, since they are experience-based, and i dont plan to stay here long-term
saving money is closer to my end goal. since my career is not very well paid i plan to make investments, so having a good amount of cash hoarded will help me immensely. thanks for reminding me
the time limit is a great help too. enduring this semester at college and checking how im feeling and hows my gpa doing are a good measuring post. plus i think i can get more outdoorsy jobs if i look into them

damn, your advice was very solid. thanks a lot

 No.210

>can you please give me words of encouragment?
All I can say is, be careful with mental exhaustion. Sorry.

>or at least tell me what you would do in my position?

I'd quit if I thought the pay wasn't worth it but you said you're unionized and got good employers so…

 No.356

>>204
Apply for janitor somewhere else before you start resenting how much you have been deformed by your own façade

 No.357

File: 1642711652238.jpg (61.81 KB, 900x900, Cereal Guy.jpg)

Currently dealing with similar shit, I'm working an office-ish job at a local manufacturing company and am tasked with registering arrived products using Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 and a label scanning machine called "MODI". My back fucking hurts doing this shit and seeing "4PO-061876", "4PO-59160", ETC. all day is mind-numbing.

If I were you, I'd keep working the job but try removing sources of stress outside of it to relax more. At least that's what I try to do.

 No.358

Anon -you're doing a really good job, obviously this is hard labor and very difficult on your body - try to remember to do stretches so you fuck up your spine and whatnot forever. Keep in mind that any job, no matter how difficult, slowly gets easier and easier with time. A few months from now your body and your mind will be used to it and your workdays will fly by instantly. Good luck saving up money, hope you have fun as a park ranger!



File: 1638408978764.png (362.3 KB, 1414x985, __izumi_konata_lucky_star_….png)

 No.346[Reply]

I've recently started learning some skills that I hope will pay off in the long term, but I need to make some money in the mean time to buy a car.

I'm absolutely terrified to get a job though. There's not much around me except for retail work which does not mesh well with me. This is something I've avoided doing for many years.

I'd be happy to hear your experience with your first job, or with retail if you've happened to work that. Anything to not make me so nervous.

 No.347

File: 1638447021060.png (175.49 KB, 360x274, rei.png)

another blue haired anime girl.png.mp3.tiff.exe.bitcoin

—-

ot: its gonna be fine

 No.348

you can probably find some warehouse work



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 No.343[Reply]

I'm already burned out from studying all the time. Currently taking physics and a few other courses, and it feels like this isn't getting me anywhere. Why the fuck do I even try? Just to have a piece of paper that may or may not help me find a job? The misery never ends.


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 No.67[Reply]

For five years I've been slowly decaying: I've lost my health, dropped University, twice, and my relationships with my family is in shatters. Also what bothers me is that people I knew (I don't have any contacts left) now have good jobs, some of them their own families, while I still simply just run away from all problems I encounter.

I tried to do something with it so many times, but it never really worked out. I'm not sure whether anything can be done now, but I can try one more time.

To change the pace I will go to a local library tomorrow, so I can be closer to other people, will spend some time learning (or doing) something actually useful and will try to build up courage to make up with my family.
59 posts and 40 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.196

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>>195
Yes, I thought about it, but it is not going to happen, at least not now. I'm eligible for an asylum as much as everyone else in this country: I wasn't persecuted, nor was I even arrested and the couple of times I had to run away during protests don't count. Well, I have relatives in Latvia and if things go south I'll ask them to shelter me for some time, I don't think they would say no.
However, it is easier for me to get a job here and, if not, to continue NEET lifestyle. So I'm not going to do it now.
Also tomorrow I get the last task from an employer and if all goes well I will get a job soon, finally.

 No.275

File: 1630828672059.jpg (709.88 KB, 1050x1539, 15766436754.jpg)

>>196
I didn't get a job back then, which was actually for the best as I didn't like it at all.

However!

I've been working for a month already on another job which I do like, I've decided to finish my degree and did get back into my university, and, with stumbles here and there, I do intense exercises again (it is actually very rewarding to see your body in some kind of a shape)!

The political situation is still very harsh, actually things got way-way worse compared to the previous year, but we will see how thing turn out in the end. I can't really affect much of anything there, so I just try to not be bothered by it and try to read news very rarely, as it always darkens the mood.

There are still lots of steps I have to make with my feeble legs for anything good to come out of it, but I'm not as depressed as before and I do look into the future slightly more positively. We will see whether I relapse again or not.

Have a nice day, everynyan!

 No.302

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>>275
This sounds great, I hope you can keep it up.
What are you working as? It is indeed important that you like what you do, but that is honestly a luxury. If you are alright with it, then it should be good enough.
Are you doing the same exercises as before? Or did you pick up new ones?

Sad to hear that it got even worse, I hope you and all the others that protested are safe. Perhaps it is the right choice not to read news, I don't do it since 2 years and I feel way better without it. Even though it is kinda strange to walk around with no idea what is going on.

Anyway I am happy to hear from you and glad that you are doing better! I hope you can manage, friend. Don't forget to take care of yourself and don't let setbacks discourage you.
Also sorry for replying that late, I am struggling lately.

 No.323

File: 1634233977491.png (4.43 KB, 300x300, 3a5dd908d8601b0567d46276.png)

>>302
Hi!

> What are you working as?

Software engineer in a local IT company. The coolest thing is that I'm writing code in the language I like, and that's why I even applied.

> Are you doing the same exercises as before?

Nope! I actually read up on it a bit and now are doing an amalgamation of exercises from this video. There are some other exercises as well (mostly for my buttocks) and I had to skip on some exercises after which my legs and my damaged arm hurt too much. But in general the idea is this. If you have some other exercises I might want to try, I would be very glad to hear them too, and I might try to incorporate them into my daily regimen!
https://youtu.be/vc1E5CfRfos
I'm not doing those too intensively though, as I don't really like exercises and do not plan or want to build any muscle, just want to keep my body in shape.

> Even though it is kinda strange to walk around with no idea what is going on.

I had no idea what was going on in my country for the most of my life. But now it is actually quite hard to miss on those, and I fail myself and do read them quite frequently anyway. Even though I do try to limit it.

> I am struggling lately.

What happened?

 No.334

File: 1634928492725.jpg (685.99 KB, 884x1302, b29982c6b2105a3f58cd81becd….jpg)

>>323
Sounds great, I am glad to hear that you like it. So you are working and going to university at the same time? Certainly a lot to do. I assume the degree you picked up again is programming engineering?

Interesting video, I never looked into all the things you can do without any tools at all. Just 3 weeks ago I decided not to go to the gym anymore, because I just couldn't stand the noise there any longer, radio running the entire time, a lot of people around, even a tv with sports turned on. I changed to working out at home again, but searched for new exercises as well. Right now I am trying out exercising with dumbbells, there is a lot of variety too.
Any reason why you are training buttocks especially hard? I do that too for my back, because I now it is not in a good shape.

This was exactly the other way around for me, I followed very closely what is going on but stopped somewhere in 2018 because it was always only negative, sad, frustrating and so on. I just didn't want to read all of that negativity anymore. I have to say that I do feel better since I don't know anything about all the happenings anymore.

Last time we talked I quit my job and was trying out new things like mailman. After all the different ideas didn't appeal to me at the end, I applied for accounting again. Unfortunately I landed the worst job I had so far. The organization and communication is equals zero, the traffic agonizing, the work boring and tedious, the industrial sector a lot of stress, the company owned by a larger one that dictated everything and doesn't listen to anything, the list goes on and on. My mental health once again went downhill very fast and so hard that I take antidepressants again. Luckily the job is dated to end on the 31.12.2021, they wanted to keep me but I said no.
I truly fear that I only can get better if I don't work in an office anymore, next year I will try out something else once again, I have a good feeling about it this time.



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 No.314[Reply]

I’ve currently got a full-time professional job, but the circumstances of it are making me face the same kind of dilemma as when I was a NEET. Right now I’ve got the NEET dream job, I work from home and have barely any work, so I’m basically just getting paid to sit at home and watch anime. On the other hand, currently I live with my parents in a very high CoL area and the job pays a lot less than I could be making, with no real opportunities for advancement, so my options for moving out here are limited. I’m also just not a fan of the culture and people in this city so I’d like to move away for multiple reasons. Also even though I'm working from home now moving away while keeping the job isn't an option.

That said, it’s still very hard to give up my pseudo-NEET life for a job where I’d actually have to do work, and I have no specific place I want to move other than “not here” so I’ve been stuck on autopilot here for years now. These circumstances are getting more and more frustrating to the point I definitely feel like I have to make a big change soon, but with no concrete goal in mind it’s just a lot easier to go with the flow. I would appreciate any advice on
A) being willing to give up my current job for something more serious
B) figuring out where to move out of anywhere when I spend most my time in my room so I don’t know what I’m really looking for in a city and there’s nothing like friends in X city to help narrow down the options

 No.317

What's your job? Am interested.

Move somewhere you've always wanted to and is within reach for you. Remember to save up before traveling, enough for you to live by yourself for at least 2 months.



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 No.241[Reply]

Just lost my job. I've got bipolar and have been super depressive. The free clinic I've been going to doesn't open until next month.

Just wanted to make a post, shit's tough to try and get through.
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.249

File: 1629570352325.png (16.21 KB, 604x475, ganbareman.png)

Rooting for you anon.

 No.296

Well that wasn't really a free clinic, it was through my school. I didn't get in this semester because I didn't get my academic probation appeal in in time. I'm a NEET again, this shit is way too hard.

 No.297

>>296
That sucks big time. You don't need me to tell you this but try to get into the system again via any clinic you can reasonably get into/afford. Worst thing you can do right now is let this beat you down far enough that you end up staying NEET in the long run, if you can avoid it.

 No.310

>>297
Yeah, I ended up going into the hospital. They set me up with some services that will help with insurance that should backdate some expenses. Pretty promising as long as I can keep to the schedule. Then later next month I'll be starting day treatment, gotta get insurance figured out before then.

 No.311

>>310
You definitely did the right thing. Good luck, mate - hope the road to some semblance of recovery is smooth as it can be.



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 No.301[Reply]

well since im in similar company id like to talk to my fellow ex-neets about uncomfortable social situations
i always stay put or back down from conflict whenever it arises, be it stingy banter from coworkers or strangers pushing my boundries. its a shit habit i learned from my mother and it wont go away, and im tired of keeping my head down

how do you guys deal with this stuff? anyone knows how to project respect unto others? when i was an angsty teen i threw fists at the problem but now that im a grown ass man i cant solve things that way anymore

pic extremely related, no-one messes with the kangaroid


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