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/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

Board for recovering NEETs and Ex-NEETs who are trying to reintegrate.
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Posting works again.

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For five years I've been slowly decaying: I've lost my health, dropped University, twice, and my relationships with my family is in shatters. Also what bothers me is that people I knew (I don't have any contacts left) now have good jobs, some of them their own families, while I still simply just run away from all problems I encounter.

I tried to do something with it so many times, but it never really worked out. I'm not sure whether anything can be done now, but I can try one more time.

To change the pace I will go to a local library tomorrow, so I can be closer to other people, will spend some time learning (or doing) something actually useful and will try to build up courage to make up with my family.
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Yes, I thought about it, but it is not going to happen, at least not now. I'm eligible for an asylum as much as everyone else in this country: I wasn't persecuted, nor was I even arrested and the couple of times I had to run away during protests don't count. Well, I have relatives in Latvia and if things go south I'll ask them to shelter me for some time, I don't think they would say no.
However, it is easier for me to get a job here and, if not, to continue NEET lifestyle. So I'm not going to do it now.
Also tomorrow I get the last task from an employer and if all goes well I will get a job soon, finally.


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I didn't get a job back then, which was actually for the best as I didn't like it at all.


I've been working for a month already on another job which I do like, I've decided to finish my degree and did get back into my university, and, with stumbles here and there, I do intense exercises again (it is actually very rewarding to see your body in some kind of a shape)!

The political situation is still very harsh, actually things got way-way worse compared to the previous year, but we will see how thing turn out in the end. I can't really affect much of anything there, so I just try to not be bothered by it and try to read news very rarely, as it always darkens the mood.

There are still lots of steps I have to make with my feeble legs for anything good to come out of it, but I'm not as depressed as before and I do look into the future slightly more positively. We will see whether I relapse again or not.

Have a nice day, everynyan!


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This sounds great, I hope you can keep it up.
What are you working as? It is indeed important that you like what you do, but that is honestly a luxury. If you are alright with it, then it should be good enough.
Are you doing the same exercises as before? Or did you pick up new ones?

Sad to hear that it got even worse, I hope you and all the others that protested are safe. Perhaps it is the right choice not to read news, I don't do it since 2 years and I feel way better without it. Even though it is kinda strange to walk around with no idea what is going on.

Anyway I am happy to hear from you and glad that you are doing better! I hope you can manage, friend. Don't forget to take care of yourself and don't let setbacks discourage you.
Also sorry for replying that late, I am struggling lately.


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> What are you working as?

Software engineer in a local IT company. The coolest thing is that I'm writing code in the language I like, and that's why I even applied.

> Are you doing the same exercises as before?

Nope! I actually read up on it a bit and now are doing an amalgamation of exercises from this video. There are some other exercises as well (mostly for my buttocks) and I had to skip on some exercises after which my legs and my damaged arm hurt too much. But in general the idea is this. If you have some other exercises I might want to try, I would be very glad to hear them too, and I might try to incorporate them into my daily regimen!
I'm not doing those too intensively though, as I don't really like exercises and do not plan or want to build any muscle, just want to keep my body in shape.

> Even though it is kinda strange to walk around with no idea what is going on.

I had no idea what was going on in my country for the most of my life. But now it is actually quite hard to miss on those, and I fail myself and do read them quite frequently anyway. Even though I do try to limit it.

> I am struggling lately.

What happened?


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Sounds great, I am glad to hear that you like it. So you are working and going to university at the same time? Certainly a lot to do. I assume the degree you picked up again is programming engineering?

Interesting video, I never looked into all the things you can do without any tools at all. Just 3 weeks ago I decided not to go to the gym anymore, because I just couldn't stand the noise there any longer, radio running the entire time, a lot of people around, even a tv with sports turned on. I changed to working out at home again, but searched for new exercises as well. Right now I am trying out exercising with dumbbells, there is a lot of variety too.
Any reason why you are training buttocks especially hard? I do that too for my back, because I now it is not in a good shape.

This was exactly the other way around for me, I followed very closely what is going on but stopped somewhere in 2018 because it was always only negative, sad, frustrating and so on. I just didn't want to read all of that negativity anymore. I have to say that I do feel better since I don't know anything about all the happenings anymore.

Last time we talked I quit my job and was trying out new things like mailman. After all the different ideas didn't appeal to me at the end, I applied for accounting again. Unfortunately I landed the worst job I had so far. The organization and communication is equals zero, the traffic agonizing, the work boring and tedious, the industrial sector a lot of stress, the company owned by a larger one that dictated everything and doesn't listen to anything, the list goes on and on. My mental health once again went downhill very fast and so hard that I take antidepressants again. Luckily the job is dated to end on the 31.12.2021, they wanted to keep me but I said no.
I truly fear that I only can get better if I don't work in an office anymore, next year I will try out something else once again, I have a good feeling about it this time.

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I’ve currently got a full-time professional job, but the circumstances of it are making me face the same kind of dilemma as when I was a NEET. Right now I’ve got the NEET dream job, I work from home and have barely any work, so I’m basically just getting paid to sit at home and watch anime. On the other hand, currently I live with my parents in a very high CoL area and the job pays a lot less than I could be making, with no real opportunities for advancement, so my options for moving out here are limited. I’m also just not a fan of the culture and people in this city so I’d like to move away for multiple reasons. Also even though I'm working from home now moving away while keeping the job isn't an option.

That said, it’s still very hard to give up my pseudo-NEET life for a job where I’d actually have to do work, and I have no specific place I want to move other than “not here” so I’ve been stuck on autopilot here for years now. These circumstances are getting more and more frustrating to the point I definitely feel like I have to make a big change soon, but with no concrete goal in mind it’s just a lot easier to go with the flow. I would appreciate any advice on
A) being willing to give up my current job for something more serious
B) figuring out where to move out of anywhere when I spend most my time in my room so I don’t know what I’m really looking for in a city and there’s nothing like friends in X city to help narrow down the options


What's your job? Am interested.

Move somewhere you've always wanted to and is within reach for you. Remember to save up before traveling, enough for you to live by yourself for at least 2 months.

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Just lost my job. I've got bipolar and have been super depressive. The free clinic I've been going to doesn't open until next month.

Just wanted to make a post, shit's tough to try and get through.
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Rooting for you anon.


Well that wasn't really a free clinic, it was through my school. I didn't get in this semester because I didn't get my academic probation appeal in in time. I'm a NEET again, this shit is way too hard.


That sucks big time. You don't need me to tell you this but try to get into the system again via any clinic you can reasonably get into/afford. Worst thing you can do right now is let this beat you down far enough that you end up staying NEET in the long run, if you can avoid it.


Yeah, I ended up going into the hospital. They set me up with some services that will help with insurance that should backdate some expenses. Pretty promising as long as I can keep to the schedule. Then later next month I'll be starting day treatment, gotta get insurance figured out before then.


You definitely did the right thing. Good luck, mate - hope the road to some semblance of recovery is smooth as it can be.

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well since im in similar company id like to talk to my fellow ex-neets about uncomfortable social situations
i always stay put or back down from conflict whenever it arises, be it stingy banter from coworkers or strangers pushing my boundries. its a shit habit i learned from my mother and it wont go away, and im tired of keeping my head down

how do you guys deal with this stuff? anyone knows how to project respect unto others? when i was an angsty teen i threw fists at the problem but now that im a grown ass man i cant solve things that way anymore

pic extremely related, no-one messes with the kangaroid

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For me, it was a mental breakdown which struck right at the cusp of becoming an adult, when I was 14 and on holiday with my parents. I had just left secondary school and so was approaching adulthood, and I broke down on holiday and fell so quickly ill that I felt like I was going to die. I cried holding the hands of my family as I felt the darkness was coming in, I felt certain I was dying.

But I survived, and fell into a vicious cycle of anguish and torment which has taught me the meaning of suffering. I now feel like I can only relate to people who have suffered.

So the question I want to start this thread with is: what made you withdraw? What circumstances in your life led to you shutting the blinds on society and taking to your bed? If you want to recover from being withdrawn, then what made you ill in the first place?
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Not sure, feels like I was always like this. But looking at it realistically there would have been things in my childhood that precipitated it. Even from an age as early as five years I had a reputation among my parents and teachers as a gifted child and I had a dim awareness that the other kids around me were all somehow dumb. The awareness was dim because I did not really connect with my peers. Things stayed like that until the years leading up to me entering high school, where I started to notice that everyone around me seemed to be growing up and maturing faster than I was, and I began to fear that they would overtake me socially. That was probably what did it. I remember crying when year seven was over, knowing that things would never be comfortable in that way again.


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That's wild anon! Good job hanging in there, I hope your improvement continues. we're all gonna make it bro


I was always shy and introverted. But what broke me was my freshman year of highschool. I had cystic acne so I put ointment on my face and I got an allergic reaction. My skin began peeling and I had burn marks. I was bullied and called reptile for this.

I went to the back of the school during lunch to apply my mother's make up to hide my burns. Never have I experienced such humiliation and hell as that. I would wait at the school till 10PM because I was afraid of taking the bus and being bullied. It was hell.


I thought that once I turn 18 it would be my chance to become a normie and I tried but it didn't work, so I realized it would never happen. Plus I don't like being around people who don't like me (normies).


First I wasn't able to adapt to the new social environment in high school and I was humiliated and isolated. The first two years were really painful but gave me a lot of knowledge about myself, and my curiosity and lack of stimulation made me start to read books and learn music. But I had already acquired many bad habits (terrible sleep, excessive masturbation with disgusting porn, junk food, withdraw, etc.) and started taking antidepressants, which I'm pretty sure did me more harm than good, and all the physical and mental damage left me unable to apply what I learned to overcome my social anxiety and start getting things done (plus I still had many shitty ideas). Now I'm 20 and still in a bad situation, but things are slowly getting better.

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How do you cope with even part time employment? I've been.working around 30 hours a week for about two years now (after like 5 years of.neetdom) and I'm at my wit's end. It's not even a hard job but having to wake up in the morning 3-4 days a week and go to a job where I'm treated poorly is taking its toll. I don't imagine it's much better anywhere else. Even if I was treated really good I still wouldn't want to do it. I want to do and learn a lot of things but I don't have the energy on the days I work and pn my days off I don't feel like it because I'm anxious about returning to work

I don't even really see the point in working. I don't want a relationship or to move out. I don't really have any ambitions or desires that would require me to work. I save up all my paychecks anyway because I don't want much. I only got out of the NEET life because I thought it would make me feel happier and fulfilled but I'm worse off than ever. I rarely do anything that I want to do and even if I don't work on a day it's wasted feeling anxious or recovering mentally. I'm also slowly becoming dependent on alcohol to relax and have any kind of a good time

I was considering quitting and maybe have a more relaxed schedule selling art commissions or doing something else freelance. I'm just worried I wouldn't be able to motivate myself. How do full time wagies cope with their even more demanding schedule?


yeah fuck part time work, it's pathetic how this economy is configured to shit all over the hardest jobs like retail and service industry that also pay the worst, while white collar jobs are mostly sitting at a desk doing nothing for hours on end sometimes interrupted by an email or a zoom call, and these people make literally 5x what people doing actual work do

take some free online programming MOOCs for a month and land a cushy remote job as a web developer, don't bother with part time work


god i wish i could only work 3 or 4 days when i was working retail. i would get scheduled for 37-38 hours so that i wouldn't meet the cutoff the get benefits, and once the main HR person quit, no one would actually modify my schedule when i requested it. i miss the days of working only 5 hours a day a few times a week when i just turned 18. you really don't know how good you have it until it gets much much worse.
and sitting on your ass all day in an office is worse, trust me. that is time spent in a cage that you can never get back. if you have the option, work from home! do not settle for an office gig unless you can set a temporary time-frame, maybe a year or two at most. otherwise you're going to get depressed as fuck and never have the conscience to leave for a better offer if it comes up (and they come up more often than you think).
not a terrible idea, if you can set aside the time and potentially money. I think Saylor offers some free certificates for programming-related subjects. EdX if you have a little more money and the former isn't doing it for you. Kaggle if you decide to go down the data science route. or you could really take the initiative and learn yourself, compile a portfolio of sites you've made and use that as your CV.

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there's this girl I'm seeing that's 10 years older than me. she's the first girl I've made out and fondled with. she's alright, and I like her, but (I suppose this comes with our rather significant age difference) she's too forward and horny all the time and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I ain't even ready to have sex yet

where and how can I meet girls *my* age (this is what I'd wager marked our differences) that are reserved, quiet and introverted like me? I'm into manga, videogames and writing, not sure if it matters

I don't even know how to deal with women. getting a chance with this girl was mostly pure luck. we hardly knew each other, flirted a little bit on social media and then we met up and stuff. since it's not going as smoothly as I expect, I think trying other methods would be a good idea
some friends suggested clubbing after this whole pandemic crap ends, but it's not really my scene
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maybe it's one of those success stories everyone talks about


who are you quoting mister redditor sir?


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>How dare you go to a shitty dance shithole for normies
>Goes to shitty dance shithole for normies with a cool name


nigga you got groomed


to be fair, the chances of meeting someone who knows what Yume Nikki is at a rave are like 0.5%, whereas at a "club" I'd confidently say 0%

also club music is utterly unlistenable pop hip hop horseshit but EDM is at least kind of tolerable if you're on molly

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technically not a NEET now, but has been one on/off ever since i was 18. I have many things to say, ill just condense everything here.
so, it feels like i have accomplished nothing, other then start my GED, no job yet, no funds saved and getting one would be very overwhelming and the previous job i had at a store was horrible.

do you know any good jobs for a sperg recluse? I was thinking videogame QA, agoraphobia limits my choice in employment aswell.

also, i feel like i wasted all my free time doing nothing, and not even having much fun, just on youtube, discord and videogames mindlessly watching, playing and talking to people on discord but that ends up making me feel alienated since i dont feel i can be genuine, theres no place where i can say whats on my mind and just have an honest conversation, im re-discovering image boards again, this place seems like gold, sad that im only discovering good things such as yume nikki and uboachan when i was post NEET. As another anon posted, im thinking of looking into IRC/fediverse aswell to discover small comfy internet bunkers.

i wish i would have done things differently and discovered things earlier, too bad i cant get nostalgic about these things now, oh well.

unrelated but, im thinking of making a yume nikki inspired game, i dont want to be the "ideas guy" anymore, and i want to finally create SOMETHING in my life, i dont want to be lazy and passive no longer, im not motivated by fame, or money, just a drive to create and my imagination. Im not going to quit when i come across a obstacle. I have no skills, but i will MAKE skills if i have to!

this probably sounds like a autistic ramble, it probably is.
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Not op here, but ive considered doing security but im not big.
>I don't want to be an idea guy
Can I be?


I've definitely seen smaller guys doing security at places. It's less common but it happens. Just get your guard card and certifications, and then join a security company and they will assign you somewhere.


on the genuine part, there are some 4chan threads on some boards that are very comfy, even some REALLY shitty boards like /biz/, we sometimes have like 15-20 IPs per thread


I'm weak, I have never held a job before this, and I have no skills to speak of. Was a neet for 10 years after I graduated high school.

Applying for a job with G4S for a security position was the best choice in my life. $15 an hour to do essentially nothing but scan points every two hours. Absolutely cake. I feel like unless it's for a store or a public place you aren't going to really need to be that big, intimidating guy most people imagine.


about the game, have you done anything? lol

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i have been a NEET for most of the last decade, apart from a seasonal part-time job some years ago which i quit after a few months. i recently was hired full-time for a mostly WFH office job. how can i cope with suddenly having to work for eight hours a day? i can't relax because i know i'm just going to have to do it again tomorrow. i feel like i have no free time any more. what are some strategies i can use to avoid suicide? i miss those carefree days already…
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we're in the same boat. but i encourage myself with little tidbits of silent comfort. i hope they are useful to you:

being optimistic (its kinda hard tbh), my job helped me organize my life better and be more active. it sorta forced me to use my spare time to do shit i actually wanted to do or better myself instead of just mindlessly wasting time using my computer. and coming home tired af made me forget how dark was that void of watching the days passing me by while i waited to wither away into oblivion
now my time is valuable. for me and others

and my hard work will hopefully be a stern lesson to my future self:
-some people do this and more simply to survive
-my comfy newly acquired job is a stroll in the park compared to what i could be doing
-you *were* able to work like an ox, and you took it like a man

by the way, and please dont take this the wrong way, you would miss your job at the office if you were an ironworker like me. and i say this because i had an office job before

best of luck, and keep on keeping on


Steal office supplies, fuck around on your computer, take a lot of bathroom breaks. Alternatively, >>200.


You still there and doing alright? I'm in the same position. I truly feel having part time hours while monetizing a hobby you have to make up for the unworked days feels the best emotionally.


Unfortunately this is the way almost all of us are doomed to live. There is no pause button, no meaning, no end in sight. Nearly all of your remaining waking hours on this planet will be spent toiling away as you are, in service of an entity the means nothing to you other than serving as a means of keeping you off the streets.

You will get used to it though, that's the worst part. The only card we have to play is using those fleeting hours after we clock out and the weekends to keep ourselves sane. Maybe try to meet somebody. Develop a hobby of some kind with a real skill floor and ceiling, something that'll yield long term fulfillment rather than short lived dopamine hits that leave you numb and dead inside. If you don't wanna rope, ya gotta cope. There's just no other way.


You'll get used to it.

Fucking depressing reading this but it's true.

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I just had a panic attack while attending an employment training course. I've had them before but this was the worst one yet, I feel like such a failure when everyone else there is perfectly fine with the tasks, and I'm not. Anyone else have experience with them? Have you been able to overcome them?


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I remember having panic attacks when I was in school during those on the job training periods. I ran to hide in the toilets for hours. To combat this I wore earmuffs and closed myself in my thoughts. If you don't want to look like a retard like me you could instead just wear headphones and listen to some music to drive the same purpose. Though these measures didn't really help me that much so what do I know I'm unfit for work anyway. Sorry for retard text. Hopefully you can understand ._.


Panic attacks sucks but a good way to calm down yourself is drinking water and breathe correctly, also the lack of sleep can makes you feel like shit, everything is mental so care about your mind :)


first things you should remember. breathing, steady it, focus on a rhythm. remember what time it is, look at your surroundings how to figure that out. feel the surfaces around you. focus on the present state, and try and bring yourself down to earth. remember a phrase that becomes a mindset. "this too will pass"

i have panic attacks all the time, i just became more aware i've been having them. if you often have anxiety attacks on a very reoccuring basis you may need a synapic damper to help. it doesnt make you feel much better, just can lessen the onset.


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You are not a failure.
I have had panic attacks before which have steered my life in a different direction that I initially would have imagined it going in, but I'm still here.

I had a panic attack in a plane before it had taken off during a school trip. It was so bad I had to go out of the plane before taking off. It was horrid having to get up and move through the plane and have everyone watch me like that.
A low point that made me incredibly dejected for weeks.
Later, I tried going to a folk high school (Americans don't have it I think, I don't want to explain the concept, but it's kinda like a boarding school for all ages mostly 18+ and up)
I had to quit just a week in due to being completely wrecked. It was as if I had been in a constant state of anxiety the entire time. It was terrible.
I was incredibly dejected for months.
It's been a couple years now since my troubles with anxiety truly turned for the worse, but it's starting to look up now and I've learned some things.

Other anons have already given good advice. It's important to try and tie yourself to reality and not get lost in it when it happens. Acknowledge your panic attack and accept it. Do what you can to get through it and continue moving forward. I think it will get better, slowly. It will get better.

You Are not a failure just because you are not like everyone else. You have your own troubles that you have to deal with, and that doesn't make you a failure. Grow from your experiences and learn about yourself. I think you will come to better handle your panic attacks if you take anons tips to mind and remember them. Sometimes it's not all going to work, it will surely be lots of ups and downs, but don't give up. I got lucky and got a really good psychiatrist a bit later. It's possible that seeking professional help will be beneficial to you, but the opposite is also true.
I was also deeply, deeply struck by the theme of struggling through great adversity in Berserk when Miura died. Deeply struck. It is a very strong message and it has impacted me greatly in the last few months
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Hey, not OP but I want you to know that you motivated me to go through with getting to this school I somehow managed to get into. I dropped out of highschool and have been a neet for 7 years. I’ve had 2-3 panic attacks the last 5 days trying to drive across country to get here abd turned around twice but I’m here now. I still may go home in a week but thankyou for helping me fund the motivation to try.

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