/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

>>111
I'm still (nominally) trying to get my license and I'm 28! I got a permit to learn, but I can only learn with someone else in the car and it's too scary and my mum's car is too big and scary for me to learn/drive in.
I hope you did your best anyway!

>>194
Well, turns out the whole thing is a bit rigged in my country. Basically, you have to pass a test about driving theory and one about driving practice. To prepare for the test you must purchase classes, each class allows you to drive with a teacher for 45 minutes. Turns out the driving school has to milk a certain amount of money out of you or you won't pass the test. And at almost 1000€ spent (ran out of money) it wasn't enough for them so I tried two times to pass the actual test and no dice, the teachers are buddies with the people who test you (won't even try to hide it, the last time I overheard them talking about going to drink a few beers after they were done with me) and if you haven't paid enough you fail the exam because they already know how to "make you" fail. Amazing that this thing happens in an actual European country in 2021. So I still can't drive because I don't have money to pay the corruption tax…

On the bright side, I did complete my security guard training and I could potentially get a job soon. I don't think much will change, I'm already 27 and have lived like this my whole life, I don't even want to put effort to make friends or things like that. I've gotten to a point where I actively avoid it, it's like interacting with people more than necessary is a hassle for me. I just talk with some close friends and that's it. I have nothing in common with normies, what would be the point of becoming anything else than circumstantial acquaintances with them? I don't even know how people have the energy to make a worthwhile friendship with more than 1 or 2 friends. This is like that thing that happens to people who've been in jail for too long, they just stop considering any other lifestyle and go back to jail on purpose.

>>218
What do you feel that you could teach a normie, if anything?

I've successfully completed four weeks of uni. My other attempts over the past few years have barely lasted a week. A couple of people have spoken to me and I've tried talking to them but I feel like they'll eventually work out how defective I am and stop trying soon enough. One already has but the other one still says hi to me when we walk past each other.
>>111
Good work mate. I'm 27 and only have my learner's licence. We're also the personality type.
>>172
Good work on getting the debit card and also doing it on your own. I understand how doing that sort of stuff by yourself can be difficult.

>>219
What do you mean?

>>148
I understand what you mean OP and would like to point out that you can paint this grey to whatever you want and however you want.
You can even do it from home, while still being a hikki neet. It only depends on what you do, how often you do it and how much you invest into it. You could even work from home. Well I hope to read future updates on your doing and thank you for your prayers, I have some use for them currently.

Nothing wrong with schizophrenia tbh.

i agree to an extent but the good has to outweigh the bad to be worth it, some of us are hikkis because before the hikki life there was too much bad and absolutely nothing good

>>215
>the good has to outweigh the bad to be worth it
Not op but I don't agree. If I were given the choice between a life of 3/4 bad + 1/4 good and a life completely neutral I would take the first easily.

>>216
lmao

>>142
Same, social media has killed so much of what made the internet magical to me. I hope you find refuge in various bunkers and alternets anon

>>184
Do they even exist nowadays? I have been a drifter for years, searching for a place to belong but I find nothing.

>>185
some of the fedverse sites (as in federated network, not glowing people) are kinda good. IRC can still be good if you know where to go, but its quite cliquey and people are very protective of their own little patches, wary of new ppl. i really think that the higher the barrier to entry (as in; technical knowledge) the better the community tends to be, for me personally anyway. i use discord to talk to friends from the realworld but its absolute trash, i hate the design and and the stupid little noises it makes.
People always complain that the internet that we all know is dead, but obviously it is. the wild west was never going to last forever, its just gone more self-hosted. there isn't a company on the face of this earth that would host the shit we all used to talk about circa 2005.
Seek and ye shall find dudes !

>>186
I have been seeking for years and found nothing, but thank you.

>I can't make any connection with these people that has any meaning beyond the superficial.
Do you try to fit in with society or are you actually trying to bond with people? If the former, then it's no wonder lol. Unironically be yourself and keep an open mind, but have a resolve of steel and be prepared to be treated like a weirdo by oversocialized people. You'll eventually find at least someone similar to yourself.

>>120
I dunno man, I'd love to not *have* to work, but wage society demands so. Being a NEET doesn't necessarily imply being a hikki, you know?

Contact the governemnt and talk to a social worker they may help you it depends why you want/need to stay in one.

It's looking like I've been rejected by everywhere and to be completely honest I really don't know what to do.
I've missed the deadlines for PhD funding and it looks like most of them want a Master's degree anyway.
While I could still apply for master's degrees, my understanding is that they're generally (in my field) quite useless. The reason I applied for where I did was because they offer a doctorate with a stipend and typically only accept people that did their Master's there. That and they're good names to have on a CV.
At the moment my parents are encouraging me to apply for Master's degrees that, in all likelihood, won't benefit me and don't justify the cost. I just feel a bit overwhelmed, really.
Despite saying that I'm thinking about getting a job and writing articles in my free time so I'll have a better application for next year (and applying for more places, and generally being better off financially) it seems like they don't want me to do that, and I don't really know why.
This whole corona thing hasn't really helped much with the job hunt, so that's probably going to set me back a few months.
On the upside I have an article that's about ready for publication now, and I suppose I could ask my (former) supervisor if she has any advice when I send it off for review.
Thanks for reading my blog.

>>44
Reading this I really sympathise with you. I was actually in a Masters program for Mathematics, and I am *so* glad that I went against the advice of my professors and parents and anyone else other than the 2 friends my age I have, and I dropped out of the program. As it happens, the program itself was in a very fluid state and I wasn't getting good research opportunities or even the choice of what to do my thesis on.
Anyways, to make a long story short I decided to get into a community college Network Security program, which might seem like going back down a couple of levels, and it is I guess, but since there are actual tangible certificates you can aim for, it seems more realistic as well to actually land a job afterwards.
I honestly couldn't figure out what job I could do with a Masters in Maths other than maybe Actuarial, and I didn't want to do that (and it doesn't require the Masters Degree anyways)… no one could tell me! So anyways TL;DR certifications and trade schools are actually often better if you want to actually get a job.
As a bonus the teachers and students I have met are mostly nice people as well.

>>49
This reply has been on my mind since it was posted, but I've had a hard time coming up with a response. I think what I'd like to say is that while trade school is probably a good idea, it seems a bit weird to go for when I plan on going back into academia as soon as possible.

As an update, one of the universities I applied for got back to me today and I've been waitlisted, and I suspect I stand a decent chance of getting accepted. The only problem is there's no way I could afford it without a (frankly, predatory) loan.
I'm leaning on rejecting it, and sending off stronger applications next year, and hopefully getting some financial aid. I guess the question is if another year is worth $30,000 or so in aid?
Whether I accept the offer or not, it has given me a lot of confidence knowing that I've been considered by the tenth best university in my field. I've had a lot of self-doubt these last few months, but maybe I'm not as bad as I thought. Hopefully this can be the motivation I need to get that second article written, and maybe take some online courses.

>>79
Congratulations OP. School is ridiculously and frighteningly expensive. Well, no matter what you're up to now, I hope you are well.

>>133
Thank you. Finance is certainly a big concern, and at this point I'm just banking on the scholarships I applied for.
I'm still a NEET, and ended up not applying for a PhD as I felt I wasn't quite ready. wrote an article and it's due to be published soon, which is more than some of my old lecturers can say, and should help me land a few offers.
My applications seem a lot stronger than last year's, so hopefully something gives. If not, I'll try to get a "normal" job and apply again next year. Maybe it's stupid to keep doing that, but it's what I want to do.

>>124
I know that feel. For me it's part anxiety and part trauma. You can try drinking some alcohol to dis-inhibit, and it's also helpful if you go with a friend who will be a social wingman for you, like introduce you to people and help drive the conversation towards things you have an easier time talking about, like your interests. If you don't have such a person you will just have to walk up to someone and be awkward. This is more difficult than it sounds, but you will feel great when it actually works, even if it's just a few minutes of conversation before you exhaust yourself. The social muscle needs to be exercised or it will atrophy, and exercise strengthens it. Like any exercise, it is painful when you start up doing it.

I got my start with out-of-highschool socializing by doing offline meets with people who shared my interests. It's easier to talk to someone offline if you have spent some time feeling them out online.

That said, I still do a lot of sitting around when I go to parties, but otherwise I stick around people I know and try to get in a few words with their friends who come talk to them. Networking is one of the easiest ways to increase your number of friends, because you can assume the new person is comfortable with your friend, so there will be some measure of compatibility.

>Growing up I was never put into school
isn't that illegal? anyway, you could start with learning basic math

Regarding the fact that you have trouble reading books… I know someone irl with the same problem, he loses attention/interest really fast. So, his solution was to read 3 books at the same time: he picked the first one, read 2 pages, picked the second, read 2 pages and so on, alternating between the books. He is quite successful with this technique.

I also recommend you to search about the dopamine detox method, it can help you if you get depressed trying to study something or doing other activities that gives you no pleasure.

Watching online classes on YouTube is also really good.
And remember to write what you learn on paper, so you can train your calligraphy and memory. The human brain never loses it's capacity to learn, even when you get older.

And… think about your interests, is there a hobby relating to what you like? A subject to study? I'm sure there is at least one…

And if it's possible and you feel comfortable asking this… you could ask your parents to go to an "after school" class (Something like arts&crafts or game making) after the quarantine… sorry if you've already tried this…

Lastly, retail jobs might be a possibility… some of them don't require experience and I've even heard of anxious people working on them.

I hope you're ok. You can escape.

>>85
This is all probably good advice, but…

>ask your parents
No OP, TELL your parents. You're not a kid anymore. I have a sort of similar problem with my mum so I know it's not easy, but you need to be assertive and stop asking permission for things you shouldn't need it for.

>and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored
When I started reading (years after I learned how to read), I could only read 1 sentence at a time before resting. When I would read a sentence, I would read each word separately, remembering (recalling, or (learning and) memorizing) each possible meaning of that word. Only when I am sure that I have comprehended that piece, I continue to the next piece. I still read the same way, but (1) I read faster, because I can scan for pieces that I already comprehend, and (2) I can read longer, because I have more intellectual stamina.
I think that this is why many childrens' books are picture books: each page has only a few sentences, and a beautiful picture. Take it easy: read less, and ensure you comprehend it before continuing.
More concretely, you can try arranging your environments or habits to include more literature. Example: choose music with good lyrics: L'America by Jim Morrison, I Talk to the Wind by King Crimson, Matilda Mother by Syd Barrett,, Learn the lyrics of your faovurite songs so that you can ponder the songs' meanings when you're away from your music player. It'll be easy to memorize, because you listen to it many many times.

School is a literal prison, but it sounds like so is your family situation.

>I've never studied anything before, and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored, demotivated
Have you tried reading something that actually interests you or are you just trying to teach yourself "the basics" aka what wage society expects you to know?

If you fuck that girl you're going to REINCARNATE

>>74
Autistically I didn't want to have sex without feeling sure, as to not lead her on.

I think this was because I was insecure in hindsight and too stubborn.

>>2
I used to work at a call center for 3 years it was hell get out ASAP.

>>14
What did you not like about it?

I slowly got accustomed to making calls and now I have a good job performance
but…
disliking my job makes me feel very guilty
all my coworkers and employers are friendly. my work is not very complex. the workload is part-time, and I have an almost decent pay
but talking to people, having to go outside of my house and commuting for hour and a half FUCKING SUCKS
IT SUCKS
why can't appreciate this opportunity? I've been a neet since I became of legal age. I never had any sort of income besides from my parents' allowance. I'm learning to socialize and work with others… I don't understand
>>14
pls elaborate. I do want to work in other fields, and plan to switch careers, tho
like I said, sales is just not my pond

Play online games with voice chat. Shit talk with strangers until you're more comfortable with it. Even play VR chat and do the same. Expose yourself to enough verbal communication and it will become less stressful.

>>2
Have some faith in yourself; if that fails, tell yourself to snap out of it, without making yourself feel worse.