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/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

Board for recovering NEETs and Ex-NEETs who are trying to reintegrate.
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File: 1619484221083.jpg (632.79 KB, 670x948, 72337688_p0.jpg)

 No.225[Reply]

Hello

I am looking for my Canadian friend. He went offline almost exactly this time 3 years ago.

His name is 0x39. Other names he went by were Nick and turbotard and 疑惑 and lots of other kanji names that I can't remember.
He was very nice to me and was aspiring to be tea otaku. He sometimes posted on Lainchan a long time ago (maybe 5+ years ago?). He was studying computer science back in 2018. One time he went to a maid cafe in Japan.

Do you know my friend? How can I reach him?
I just want to find my friend again. I miss him very much. Please let me know if you know him, my email is in the email field!

The next bit is for 0x39 if he's reading this. It's top sekrit private!! So please don't open spoiler unless you're the real 0x39!!!!
Hi, I know I'm doxing you a bit, I'm really sorry. I'm just trying to find you, but I know maybe you don't want to be found. I'm so sorry for intruding. You disappeared at the end of April 2018, I never got to be a better friend to you. We only talked for a little bit. I knew you were going soon, you said you were troubled by things. I wanted so much to hold onto you tighter, but I didn't want to smother you. You slipped away. You said you might make a new steam profile one day, but I don't think that day has come yet. You were a nice person and I wished I could've helped you more when you needed a friend the most. But I got there too late. It was already time for you to go. It's always like that for me: late to every party. I remember, I told you that you should always try to say a proper goodbye to your friends, just so they know for sure. And the last thing you gave to me was just a little "so…bye I guess". I always felt that it didn't count, not when you'd left so much unfinished, friend.

 No.240

I hope you found your friend, op.

 No.244

This is pretty creepy, man.

 No.245

:(

I hope you find your friend soon op…

 No.246

I hope you find your friend soon, good luck.

 No.257

time to move on dude



File: 1584584511308.gif (949.41 KB, 500x282, 1581947843406.gif)

 No.34[Reply]

just when I was turning my life around a global pandemic hits
how are you living through the covid madness, bros? I still gotta commute to work lmao
37 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.227

>>34
If you live in the United Kingdom and you're unemployed, you can have the government pay your rent and be left with £400 a month in unemployment benefits to live on afterwards. That's $588 a month in american money.

It's not a lot of money, the money sucks, but there's over 200 countries in the world and in most of them you'd starve to death.

Over here the government forced businesses to close, so with landlords still demanding rent from those businesses, lots of companies are struggling to survive. I like to call it the Job Destruction Scheme.

 No.228

>>227
i did not know that, it sounds too good to be true. even if i needed it, and i probably will some day, i'd feel guilty or ashamed asking for free money for no outwardly obvious reason other than being a softheaded hikkineet

 No.229

>>227
Is this only true during covid or has it always been like that? Are there conditions like "you have to prove you're trying to get a job"?

 No.230

>>229
I'm assuming they're talking about the typical benefit most countries have where yes "you have to prove you're trying to get a job". However, many countries have made the application process much easier and they're a bit slacker/more lenient now. For example here around Oceania, they made it much easier to apply, now you can do it all online and simply submit screenshots of your required documents and never have to go into their offices. Before covid you had to go in and attend a seminar and give them all this paperwork, talk to people yadda yadda, you have to keep going back for workshops to make yourself more employable etc none of that shit now lol. I've been collecting for a couple months now (and I just reached the age threshold where I get paid out a bit more, yay) and I've not had contact from anyone haha, tho I'm not sure what I'll do when they finally ask me how my applications have been going… ideally you should just be putting in the odd token application while being sure to come across as a terrible employee. It's hard enough to get a job when you really try so you don't have to do too much, some spelling mistakes, poor formatting etc. worst case they'll just warn you you aren't applying for enough.

 No.255

I'm doing training online with a remote training company so I get to work from home for a few days. Before the pandemic there would have been no question about going in to the office but now we get these moments



File: 1622840756411.png (459.49 KB, 703x703, 0054-012_cropped.png)

 No.234[Reply]

Its a cloudy, dark gloomy day outside and if the lockdown had never happenned, if I had made another choice a year ago, I would be outside enjoying the sights and coming home from a boring day at work.

Instead I choose to earn a living by staring at a screen all day and typing non-sense only autists and computers can understand. I'm not even that good at it.

There is nothing stopping me from going out but I'm so unsightly, I'm not the person I was a year ago and I don't have anywhere to go anymore either.

I feel dread every time I hear the microsoft teams notification sound.

I'm becoming agoraphobic again, how is this any different from being a NEET?


File: 1594319192576.jpg (246.21 KB, 2048x1152, 523807a524b2e4dd9b9ad51c00….jpg)

 No.110[Reply]

Post here whenever you make a good step. Today I talked to some old friends from school, one hour either side of pressing send was absolute hell but everything after that was almost hilariously easy and I had a good time.
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.194

>>111
I'm still (nominally) trying to get my license and I'm 28! I got a permit to learn, but I can only learn with someone else in the car and it's too scary and my mum's car is too big and scary for me to learn/drive in.
I hope you did your best anyway!

 No.218

>>194
Well, turns out the whole thing is a bit rigged in my country. Basically, you have to pass a test about driving theory and one about driving practice. To prepare for the test you must purchase classes, each class allows you to drive with a teacher for 45 minutes. Turns out the driving school has to milk a certain amount of money out of you or you won't pass the test. And at almost 1000€ spent (ran out of money) it wasn't enough for them so I tried two times to pass the actual test and no dice, the teachers are buddies with the people who test you (won't even try to hide it, the last time I overheard them talking about going to drink a few beers after they were done with me) and if you haven't paid enough you fail the exam because they already know how to "make you" fail. Amazing that this thing happens in an actual European country in 2021. So I still can't drive because I don't have money to pay the corruption tax…

On the bright side, I did complete my security guard training and I could potentially get a job soon. I don't think much will change, I'm already 27 and have lived like this my whole life, I don't even want to put effort to make friends or things like that. I've gotten to a point where I actively avoid it, it's like interacting with people more than necessary is a hassle for me. I just talk with some close friends and that's it. I have nothing in common with normies, what would be the point of becoming anything else than circumstantial acquaintances with them? I don't even know how people have the energy to make a worthwhile friendship with more than 1 or 2 friends. This is like that thing that happens to people who've been in jail for too long, they just stop considering any other lifestyle and go back to jail on purpose.

 No.219

>>218
What do you feel that you could teach a normie, if anything?

 No.220

I've successfully completed four weeks of uni. My other attempts over the past few years have barely lasted a week. A couple of people have spoken to me and I've tried talking to them but I feel like they'll eventually work out how defective I am and stop trying soon enough. One already has but the other one still says hi to me when we walk past each other.
>>111
Good work mate. I'm 27 and only have my learner's licence. We're also the personality type.
>>172
Good work on getting the debit card and also doing it on your own. I understand how doing that sort of stuff by yourself can be difficult.

 No.221

>>219
What do you mean?



File: 1606777340837.png (574.19 KB, 450x600, ClipboardImage.png)

 No.148[Reply]

I was meditating upon the subject for a while and this is the conclusion I have to come to "to wish to live you must wish to die" wishing to live in the sense of "really living" you can't keep running and be safe in your castle, it's a rather colourless way to live one with no variations, very grey.

I mean 2 different things when I say "live and alive, "to "wish to live" you must "wish to die" that is to say wish to encounter your worst fear or whatever you have ran away from to hide in your castle, it's the only way to get colour, to embrace life you must embrace death, I do not mean this in a literal sense I mean life as in the positive aspects and death as in the hurdles and fears, one cannot exist without the other, you guys probably know all this stuff already though being able to identify if something is optimal doesn't mean you are incentivised or willing to enact it.

it seems there are 2 choices to continue this grey lifestyle or to try and do something.

this post probably sounds severely schizophrenic and I doubt I was able to get my point across, all of this was inspired by a chat with a former hikkineet I had, I will keep you lads in my prayers.

 No.149

>>148
I understand what you mean OP and would like to point out that you can paint this grey to whatever you want and however you want.
You can even do it from home, while still being a hikki neet. It only depends on what you do, how often you do it and how much you invest into it. You could even work from home. Well I hope to read future updates on your doing and thank you for your prayers, I have some use for them currently.

 No.213

Nothing wrong with schizophrenia tbh.

 No.215

i agree to an extent but the good has to outweigh the bad to be worth it, some of us are hikkis because before the hikki life there was too much bad and absolutely nothing good

 No.216

>>215
>the good has to outweigh the bad to be worth it
Not op but I don't agree. If I were given the choice between a life of 3/4 bad + 1/4 good and a life completely neutral I would take the first easily.

 No.217

>>216
lmao



File: 1610067178040.png (574.82 KB, 477x1051, 20201106_231917.png)

 No.182[Reply]

Sorry if there's already a thread for this, but do any anons have special living arrangements?
Group homes, supported housing, assisted living, etc.
I'm looking into them trying to slowly transition from crippiling poor tard into a semi-functional-on-the-surface member of society, so if any anons have or had lived in one of these it would be nice to read.

 No.187

Contact the governemnt and talk to a social worker they may help you it depends why you want/need to stay in one.



File: 1583892327862.png (591.4 KB, 1644x1268, 1569868812734.png)

 No.27[Reply]

Since I graduated from University in June I've been planning on going back to do a Master's or a PhD. For what it's worth, I graduated with (I think) the highest grade of my year from a pretty bad university, but I also did a community-related EC and was the recipient of a research scholarship in my second year.
I spent a few months putting together the best applications I could, but made the mistake of aiming too high and only applying for a few difficult to get in to universities. So far I've heard back from 2 of the places I applied, both were rejections, and I'm not feeling too confident about the other 3.
Right now I'm panicking, because it's become abundantly clear that I've wasted the last 8 months and several hundred dollars doing basically nothing. I told myself I'd get an article written but I've been completely unable to get anything done because of all the uncertainty.
In a last-ditch effort, I'm putting together a PhD application to send to places that are still accepting applicants and might be able to supervise it. But, again, I'm not too hopeful about this.
I really do not know what to do if this doesn't pan out. I can't find any jobs that I'm not either over or under qualified for.
Someone suggested I become an assistant language teacher, but I am not comfortable at all with living alone somewhere where I don't speak the language after being a recluse for over a year.
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.44

It's looking like I've been rejected by everywhere and to be completely honest I really don't know what to do.
I've missed the deadlines for PhD funding and it looks like most of them want a Master's degree anyway.
While I could still apply for master's degrees, my understanding is that they're generally (in my field) quite useless. The reason I applied for where I did was because they offer a doctorate with a stipend and typically only accept people that did their Master's there. That and they're good names to have on a CV.
At the moment my parents are encouraging me to apply for Master's degrees that, in all likelihood, won't benefit me and don't justify the cost. I just feel a bit overwhelmed, really.
Despite saying that I'm thinking about getting a job and writing articles in my free time so I'll have a better application for next year (and applying for more places, and generally being better off financially) it seems like they don't want me to do that, and I don't really know why.
This whole corona thing hasn't really helped much with the job hunt, so that's probably going to set me back a few months.
On the upside I have an article that's about ready for publication now, and I suppose I could ask my (former) supervisor if she has any advice when I send it off for review.
Thanks for reading my blog.

 No.49

>>44
Reading this I really sympathise with you. I was actually in a Masters program for Mathematics, and I am *so* glad that I went against the advice of my professors and parents and anyone else other than the 2 friends my age I have, and I dropped out of the program. As it happens, the program itself was in a very fluid state and I wasn't getting good research opportunities or even the choice of what to do my thesis on.
Anyways, to make a long story short I decided to get into a community college Network Security program, which might seem like going back down a couple of levels, and it is I guess, but since there are actual tangible certificates you can aim for, it seems more realistic as well to actually land a job afterwards.
I honestly couldn't figure out what job I could do with a Masters in Maths other than maybe Actuarial, and I didn't want to do that (and it doesn't require the Masters Degree anyways)… no one could tell me! So anyways TL;DR certifications and trade schools are actually often better if you want to actually get a job.
As a bonus the teachers and students I have met are mostly nice people as well.

 No.79

>>49
This reply has been on my mind since it was posted, but I've had a hard time coming up with a response. I think what I'd like to say is that while trade school is probably a good idea, it seems a bit weird to go for when I plan on going back into academia as soon as possible.

As an update, one of the universities I applied for got back to me today and I've been waitlisted, and I suspect I stand a decent chance of getting accepted. The only problem is there's no way I could afford it without a (frankly, predatory) loan.
I'm leaning on rejecting it, and sending off stronger applications next year, and hopefully getting some financial aid. I guess the question is if another year is worth $30,000 or so in aid?
Whether I accept the offer or not, it has given me a lot of confidence knowing that I've been considered by the tenth best university in my field. I've had a lot of self-doubt these last few months, but maybe I'm not as bad as I thought. Hopefully this can be the motivation I need to get that second article written, and maybe take some online courses.

 No.133

File: 1603880282608.png (1.79 KB, 500x250, Oekaki.png)

>>79
Congratulations OP. School is ridiculously and frighteningly expensive. Well, no matter what you're up to now, I hope you are well.

 No.134

>>133
Thank you. Finance is certainly a big concern, and at this point I'm just banking on the scholarships I applied for.
I'm still a NEET, and ended up not applying for a PhD as I felt I wasn't quite ready. wrote an article and it's due to be published soon, which is more than some of my old lecturers can say, and should help me land a few offers.
My applications seem a lot stronger than last year's, so hopefully something gives. If not, I'll try to get a "normal" job and apply again next year. Maybe it's stupid to keep doing that, but it's what I want to do.



File: 1601263391870.gif (13.69 KB, 112x112, 689290848248397829.gif)

 No.124[Reply]

everythings fine. great, even. it appears i do have some social skills and put them to work just fine

then why do i feel so doubtful and despairing all the time? why do i feel sluggish and backwards when i compare myself to others? why do i feel like ive been left aside from important or enjoyable moments because of just being me? why do i feel encased in ice, trapped in time and unable to catch up with everyones rythm?

every been to a party? for those who have, id probably know how we would spend time at it: awkwardly holding a glass of soda in a corner while looking at our feet. thats what id do anyways. thats how id feel anyways. thats the feeling that chases me to this very day, at any moment. at home. outside. alone. with other people
me; stunted by rave lights and ear-shattering music like a deer surprised by a car's headlights watching everyone have fun and be better

 No.125

>>124
I know that feel. For me it's part anxiety and part trauma. You can try drinking some alcohol to dis-inhibit, and it's also helpful if you go with a friend who will be a social wingman for you, like introduce you to people and help drive the conversation towards things you have an easier time talking about, like your interests. If you don't have such a person you will just have to walk up to someone and be awkward. This is more difficult than it sounds, but you will feel great when it actually works, even if it's just a few minutes of conversation before you exhaust yourself. The social muscle needs to be exercised or it will atrophy, and exercise strengthens it. Like any exercise, it is painful when you start up doing it.

I got my start with out-of-highschool socializing by doing offline meets with people who shared my interests. It's easier to talk to someone offline if you have spent some time feeling them out online.

That said, I still do a lot of sitting around when I go to parties, but otherwise I stick around people I know and try to get in a few words with their friends who come talk to them. Networking is one of the easiest ways to increase your number of friends, because you can assume the new person is comfortable with your friend, so there will be some measure of compatibility.



File: 1589145675698.jpg (13.98 KB, 300x300, b8686bcd-2fa1-4763-baed-b4….jpg)

 No.80[Reply]

Growing up I was never put into school. I was not homeschooled either. My cognitive ability is quite limited. I can't do the simplest of math, and my handwriting looks like it was done by a 6 year old. Of course, I have very little social skills because of this, and being around people gives me anxiety. I have no life experience or skills at all.
I think this was all my mothers plan, to make a bird who would never leave her nest. That might sound like a paradise for some NEETS, but when your Mother is controlling and manipulative, and your Father is raging and violent, you cannot help but want to get away from them.

I don't know if I could ever make it in the world on my own since my Mother does everything for me. She even speaks for me whenever someone tries to talk with me. My entire life I've just felt like a lapdog.
Ideally, the next step for me to get out of here would be to study for a drivers license, but I've never studied anything before, and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored, demotivated, and forgetting everything I just read. Even if I could do it, it's not like I could get a car anyway. Is it even possible for someone like me to get out of being a NEET? What can I do?
From what I know, all the online jobs require some sort of skill.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.84

>Growing up I was never put into school
isn't that illegal? anyway, you could start with learning basic math

 No.85

Regarding the fact that you have trouble reading books… I know someone irl with the same problem, he loses attention/interest really fast. So, his solution was to read 3 books at the same time: he picked the first one, read 2 pages, picked the second, read 2 pages and so on, alternating between the books. He is quite successful with this technique.

I also recommend you to search about the dopamine detox method, it can help you if you get depressed trying to study something or doing other activities that gives you no pleasure.

Watching online classes on YouTube is also really good.
And remember to write what you learn on paper, so you can train your calligraphy and memory. The human brain never loses it's capacity to learn, even when you get older.

And… think about your interests, is there a hobby relating to what you like? A subject to study? I'm sure there is at least one…

And if it's possible and you feel comfortable asking this… you could ask your parents to go to an "after school" class (Something like arts&crafts or game making) after the quarantine… sorry if you've already tried this…

Lastly, retail jobs might be a possibility… some of them don't require experience and I've even heard of anxious people working on them.

I hope you're ok. You can escape.

 No.87

>>85
This is all probably good advice, but…

>ask your parents

No OP, TELL your parents. You're not a kid anymore. I have a sort of similar problem with my mum so I know it's not easy, but you need to be assertive and stop asking permission for things you shouldn't need it for.

 No.88

>and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored
When I started reading (years after I learned how to read), I could only read 1 sentence at a time before resting. When I would read a sentence, I would read each word separately, remembering (recalling, or (learning and) memorizing) each possible meaning of that word. Only when I am sure that I have comprehended that piece, I continue to the next piece. I still read the same way, but (1) I read faster, because I can scan for pieces that I already comprehend, and (2) I can read longer, because I have more intellectual stamina.
I think that this is why many childrens' books are picture books: each page has only a few sentences, and a beautiful picture. Take it easy: read less, and ensure you comprehend it before continuing.
More concretely, you can try arranging your environments or habits to include more literature. Example: choose music with good lyrics: L'America by Jim Morrison, I Talk to the Wind by King Crimson, Matilda Mother by Syd Barrett,, Learn the lyrics of your faovurite songs so that you can ponder the songs' meanings when you're away from your music player. It'll be easy to memorize, because you listen to it many many times.

 No.214

School is a literal prison, but it sounds like so is your family situation.

>I've never studied anything before, and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored, demotivated

Have you tried reading something that actually interests you or are you just trying to teach yourself "the basics" aka what wage society expects you to know?



File: 1586350248915.jpg (497.23 KB, 2000x1500, abc.jpg)

 No.58[Reply]

I was always extremely introverted in adolesence, chronic pain at 16 led me to become entirely reclusive.

After leaving high school age 18 I went full on NEET 3 years, then done a year of college before University. I had more chronic health issues then, but despite all that my first year of University I actually was able to socialise regularly.

The second year I even got a girlfriend, but poor communication ended it, which kind of sucks. I feel I have no real direction moving forward now as I've been able to pass as normal. For some reason, it kicked my motivation out since I question why put in all the hard work if results are minimal?

I'm struggling to get my motivation back :( my life was almost going like an anime in terms of dating the first girl I spent time with 1 on 1 in my entire life at that point. It took an incredible amount of self-discipline to get results and I feel buuurned!

 No.74

If you fuck that girl you're going to REINCARNATE

 No.78

>>74
Autistically I didn't want to have sex without feeling sure, as to not lead her on.

I think this was because I was insecure in hindsight and too stubborn.



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