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/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

Board for recovering NEETs and Ex-NEETs who are trying to reintegrate.
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Janitor applications are closed. We will be adding three Janitors soon, assuming all three stay on board.

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 No.124[Reply]

everythings fine. great, even. it appears i do have some social skills and put them to work just fine

then why do i feel so doubtful and despairing all the time? why do i feel sluggish and backwards when i compare myself to others? why do i feel like ive been left aside from important or enjoyable moments because of just being me? why do i feel encased in ice, trapped in time and unable to catch up with everyones rythm?

every been to a party? for those who have, id probably know how we would spend time at it: awkwardly holding a glass of soda in a corner while looking at our feet. thats what id do anyways. thats how id feel anyways. thats the feeling that chases me to this very day, at any moment. at home. outside. alone. with other people
me; stunted by rave lights and ear-shattering music like a deer surprised by a car's headlights watching everyone have fun and be better

 No.125

>>124
I know that feel. For me it's part anxiety and part trauma. You can try drinking some alcohol to dis-inhibit, and it's also helpful if you go with a friend who will be a social wingman for you, like introduce you to people and help drive the conversation towards things you have an easier time talking about, like your interests. If you don't have such a person you will just have to walk up to someone and be awkward. This is more difficult than it sounds, but you will feel great when it actually works, even if it's just a few minutes of conversation before you exhaust yourself. The social muscle needs to be exercised or it will atrophy, and exercise strengthens it. Like any exercise, it is painful when you start up doing it.

I got my start with out-of-highschool socializing by doing offline meets with people who shared my interests. It's easier to talk to someone offline if you have spent some time feeling them out online.

That said, I still do a lot of sitting around when I go to parties, but otherwise I stick around people I know and try to get in a few words with their friends who come talk to them. Networking is one of the easiest ways to increase your number of friends, because you can assume the new person is comfortable with your friend, so there will be some measure of compatibility.



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 No.80[Reply]

Growing up I was never put into school. I was not homeschooled either. My cognitive ability is quite limited. I can't do the simplest of math, and my handwriting looks like it was done by a 6 year old. Of course, I have very little social skills because of this, and being around people gives me anxiety. I have no life experience or skills at all.
I think this was all my mothers plan, to make a bird who would never leave her nest. That might sound like a paradise for some NEETS, but when your Mother is controlling and manipulative, and your Father is raging and violent, you cannot help but want to get away from them.

I don't know if I could ever make it in the world on my own since my Mother does everything for me. She even speaks for me whenever someone tries to talk with me. My entire life I've just felt like a lapdog.
Ideally, the next step for me to get out of here would be to study for a drivers license, but I've never studied anything before, and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored, demotivated, and forgetting everything I just read. Even if I could do it, it's not like I could get a car anyway. Is it even possible for someone like me to get out of being a NEET? What can I do?
From what I know, all the online jobs require some sort of skill.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.84

>Growing up I was never put into school
isn't that illegal? anyway, you could start with learning basic math

 No.85

Regarding the fact that you have trouble reading books… I know someone irl with the same problem, he loses attention/interest really fast. So, his solution was to read 3 books at the same time: he picked the first one, read 2 pages, picked the second, read 2 pages and so on, alternating between the books. He is quite successful with this technique.

I also recommend you to search about the dopamine detox method, it can help you if you get depressed trying to study something or doing other activities that gives you no pleasure.

Watching online classes on YouTube is also really good.
And remember to write what you learn on paper, so you can train your calligraphy and memory. The human brain never loses it's capacity to learn, even when you get older.

And… think about your interests, is there a hobby relating to what you like? A subject to study? I'm sure there is at least one…

And if it's possible and you feel comfortable asking this… you could ask your parents to go to an "after school" class (Something like arts&crafts or game making) after the quarantine… sorry if you've already tried this…

Lastly, retail jobs might be a possibility… some of them don't require experience and I've even heard of anxious people working on them.

I hope you're ok. You can escape.

 No.87

>>85
This is all probably good advice, but…

>ask your parents

No OP, TELL your parents. You're not a kid anymore. I have a sort of similar problem with my mum so I know it's not easy, but you need to be assertive and stop asking permission for things you shouldn't need it for.

 No.88

>and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored
When I started reading (years after I learned how to read), I could only read 1 sentence at a time before resting. When I would read a sentence, I would read each word separately, remembering (recalling, or (learning and) memorizing) each possible meaning of that word. Only when I am sure that I have comprehended that piece, I continue to the next piece. I still read the same way, but (1) I read faster, because I can scan for pieces that I already comprehend, and (2) I can read longer, because I have more intellectual stamina.
I think that this is why many childrens' books are picture books: each page has only a few sentences, and a beautiful picture. Take it easy: read less, and ensure you comprehend it before continuing.
More concretely, you can try arranging your environments or habits to include more literature. Example: choose music with good lyrics: L'America by Jim Morrison, I Talk to the Wind by King Crimson, Matilda Mother by Syd Barrett,, Learn the lyrics of your faovurite songs so that you can ponder the songs' meanings when you're away from your music player. It'll be easy to memorize, because you listen to it many many times.

 No.214

School is a literal prison, but it sounds like so is your family situation.

>I've never studied anything before, and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored, demotivated

Have you tried reading something that actually interests you or are you just trying to teach yourself "the basics" aka what wage society expects you to know?



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 No.58[Reply]

I was always extremely introverted in adolesence, chronic pain at 16 led me to become entirely reclusive.

After leaving high school age 18 I went full on NEET 3 years, then done a year of college before University. I had more chronic health issues then, but despite all that my first year of University I actually was able to socialise regularly.

The second year I even got a girlfriend, but poor communication ended it, which kind of sucks. I feel I have no real direction moving forward now as I've been able to pass as normal. For some reason, it kicked my motivation out since I question why put in all the hard work if results are minimal?

I'm struggling to get my motivation back :( my life was almost going like an anime in terms of dating the first girl I spent time with 1 on 1 in my entire life at that point. It took an incredible amount of self-discipline to get results and I feel buuurned!

 No.74

If you fuck that girl you're going to REINCARNATE

 No.78

>>74
Autistically I didn't want to have sex without feeling sure, as to not lead her on.

I think this was because I was insecure in hindsight and too stubborn.



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 No.2[Reply]

so I got promoted at my job and now I'm a phone salesman. today I got the calls' script and I was told to listen to my coworkers so I can pick up their conversation lines. that's no problem, but the thing is, I got scared, and it showed. I became very quiet through the work day and sat all hunched over
dealing with people is not my strong suit, but I've been asking for an opportunity to harden up to the things I fear or don't like, and now it came, sadly I'm just out of the loop
all I can do right now is pray for strength and courage. any advice?

 No.14

>>2
I used to work at a call center for 3 years it was hell get out ASAP.

 No.15

>>14
What did you not like about it?

 No.16

I slowly got accustomed to making calls and now I have a good job performance
but…
disliking my job makes me feel very guilty
all my coworkers and employers are friendly. my work is not very complex. the workload is part-time, and I have an almost decent pay
but talking to people, having to go outside of my house and commuting for hour and a half FUCKING SUCKS
IT SUCKS
why can't appreciate this opportunity? I've been a neet since I became of legal age. I never had any sort of income besides from my parents' allowance. I'm learning to socialize and work with others… I don't understand
>>14
pls elaborate. I do want to work in other fields, and plan to switch careers, tho
like I said, sales is just not my pond

 No.19

Play online games with voice chat. Shit talk with strangers until you're more comfortable with it. Even play VR chat and do the same. Expose yourself to enough verbal communication and it will become less stressful.

 No.56

>>2
Have some faith in yourself; if that fails, tell yourself to snap out of it, without making yourself feel worse.



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 No.6[Reply]

Ex-NEET/Hiki general thread, how long has it been since you got out of it? What are you working on right now? Do you feel like going back to that life sometimes?

I got a job and started going outside 6 years ago, after 2 years of being isolated completely, sometimes I feel tempted of just staying at home playing videogames all day, or to stay in bed doing absolutely nothing, I am still depressed, recently something bad happened, and I felt the need of going back to those habits, close my social media and be a full time anon again.

An important part of my recovery was the people around me, and volunteering at hospitals and hostels for the bed, working still feels kind of weird though.

Now I work as a programmer and web designer, not the best job for someone like me, but it's what I learned to do.

It's hard, but like an anon told me here, if I got out of that mentality once, I can do it again, and so can you.
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 No.28

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>>26
I guess you're the biggest joke here since you actually waste your time doing the same thing the people you despise do while being condescending about it.

If you don't like the board, don't post.

 No.29

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Well let's try to be polite to one another, despite the bumps this is a good thread, and I feel like I needed this board.

It's interesting to see a group of people who lived isolated come to different conclusions and to open up, I never talked about these specific things to anyone.

Another thing that happened to me when I started working is that I moved my hiki habits and depression to the workplace, I was a very shitty worker, procrascinated a lot, needing the money made me snap out of it, or rather, force myself to.

I don't know if this was unhealthy or not, but soon enough, I stopped feeling like it was forced, and started working normally.

 No.33

>>28
I don't like anywhere online currently but it's not like I'm about to get a life out in normalfaggotland.

 No.54

>>50
>positive

Not while I'm around on your dead site you faggots. If you could get a job you'd have one. Advice is for shit. Opportunities are what would get someone non-hiki.

 No.57

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>>54
>>33
You don't like us, we get it, now can you chill?



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