/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

The brain can be is a master in let you think you suck on everything you tried to do (because is tend to happen to me.. A LOT). Even on dumb things like videogames, I feel everyone play anything way better than me effortless, or in case of drawing, everyone draw just perfectly with almost no practice but me. Don't know if your experienced similar thoughs.

What you mayorily consume on those 10+ hours while being in the computer? There you may find a hobby on things you feel interested. But remember to not burnout yourself and know when to rest and slowdown.

try not to define yourself on normalfag terms, or let your sense of self-worth be defined by their backwards "standards".

-keep a journal
-write stories
-anything art related is not only productive but gives one a sense of accomplishment
-learn more about computers
-research the human condition philosophy, psychology
-do what you love

I have this overwhelming feeling that to be loved and appreciated you need to have value. In today's capitalist economy value means having a productive skill useful to employers or having some kind of talent or charm that makes people like you. The only things I'm good at are not productive and don't impress people. So I am worthless and I cannot compete. Why would anyone waste their time on me? Why would anyone want to be my friend or hold me and comfort me? I want to learn something and be talented so people will be impressed and respect me. I wonder if that's a really selfish and stupid reason to learn anything. Can I really master an instrument or a sport when I'm nearly 30 and behind everyone in skill and experience? Yet if I don't do this I feel like I'll die alone.

>>610
I really recommend the journal thing.
Being on the internet is so dopamine rushing, just doomscrolling an all, but only you can break this cycle.
What stuff do you used to like to do that now you don't do anymore? I'm really picking up into drawing again, and i want to learn how to grow some plants.
You're 21, but you're never to late to keep learning and growing.
Personally high school for me was pure hell, but to this day i'm glad i'm not seeing those fuckers anymore, currently surivivng college, even with my poor ass social skills, i've managed to find people who understand me and i realized people are more than what the internet or social media paints it to be. Humans are meant to socialize, you'll be ok. You'll find lots of good people.

>>612
>Why would anyone waste their time on me? Why would anyone want to be my friend or hold me and comfort me?

Because you also deserve happiness and to enjoy life.
Because you can also still learning and expand your horizons, because you can do things some people may be unable to do.
You're not behind everyone, that is what nowadays social media wants you to believe, even if, in the case that you are. The only thing you can do is keep moving foward, right?
Enjoy human life in the way you like

>>503
hell yeah congrats on going thru with it and getting sober too!!! that's a huge step foward!!
I'm the same person who posted about going thru the system before, that's awesome that it's so easy in your state! have you considered applying for section 8 or other housing programs? a lot of states fast track ppl in halfway houses and similar programs… it'll make that 20k go wayy farther.
good luck on your job search!!

>>505
thank you friend. little update, i've started work, just a shitty part-time retail job, but it's easy and low-stress and i get to put basically 100% of what i earn in savings so the shit pay doesn't matter much. probably won't apply for section 8 since dealing with social services is aggravating and i try to avoid it unless i truly need it. i got a gym membership and exercise every day, my health is the best it's been in years, life is good all around. once i get a couple more checks i should be able to extrapolate how much money i'll be able to leave this place with and start planning for my future. really can't stress enough how strongly i recommend this route to anyone here who has any kind of substance issue

So I got forced out of the NEET life after people committed identity fraud on me. Place has gone to the dogs. I did everything right. Did everything that was asked by welfare and I still got fucked over for it. Ultimately at the end of the day, that’s life. It wasn’t going to be pristine perfect forever. It’d be impossible to get a job here without ID, robotics have taken over the farming industry so no chance to backpack and make money there, tech has pretty much crushed any chance of getting work. No way would anyone here give me work after all the shit that’s happened. Unless it’s something incredibly degrading. I’m basically untouchable by jobs now. I’m guessing the only jobs I could work in are either mental health related or disability related, but no way would they let me near that. I guess that’s what happens when you get cancelled. Bunch of people didn’t like the fact I was NEET for so long, bunch of people didn’t like me being driven to suicidal ideations, so they fucked me over something fierce. I’m not even sure how I’m going to get out of this. People really hate me here so I’m guessing if I die it’ll be because of public opinion and my own stupidity.

I know what it’s like to be bullied because believe me I’ve copped a fuckload of it all my life. Everywhere I go. I wasn’t even aware of what’s happening until recently. So yeah, bunch of people scammed me took me for a ride and I got the shit kicked out of me. Like serious shit. Best to stay quiet, never socialise with anyone no matter how hard they make it. I’d go live the hermit life if I could but someone will find me. They always do nowadays. If you’re a nerd like a lot of us are, the world ain’t kind to you.

Its blackpill inducing knowing that addicts get help while autists like myself have to rot

Congrats dear stranger. Enjoy it

Counting tends to help me. Very short countdowns that are constant. So like, if I’m procrastinating I shower, sometimes I count myself to stand up, then I count again to start walking, count to turn on the shower, etc. no real pressure, just ‘three two one’ and I stand up. Doing the steps towards the actual tasks like this makes it a bit easier for me to get to the task. It isn’t foolproof though, unfortunately.

keeping track of things seems to really help me. if theres a way you can throw all of your to-do stuff in one (or several centralized) lists it makes it easier to know what it is that needs to be done and what can be prioritized. using a personal discord server for just that has helped a lot of people i know, and goblin.tools seems like a good place to start if youre stuck on where to start on a task. >>529 is very good advice too. ive also heard "just do 5 minutes" of a thing and you'll either get engrossed in the task and just do it, or you'll have 5 minutes of work done which is better than nothing

hii, op here. a lot has happened since when i first made this post and i just wanted to give an update of some kind i guess
firstly, >>529 and >>530 are genuinely really great pieces of advice, and did help me be a bit more productive. but at the end of the day they ended up not being enough on its own lol

i did however manage to get properly diagnosed with adhd after pursuing it for a few months, and was also able to get on adhd meds for the first time!
and holy shit the difference is shocking lol. it feels surreal to actually be able to do things at all, and at least for me there's a sense of relief knowing that i'm not just lazy like my parents used to say all the time
it does make me wonder how i was able to get anything done before i was on meds lmao, it's kinda jarring seeing how differently my brain is actually supposed to work

overall, getting diagnosed was a huge game changer, and i'm honestly feeling a little bit more hopeful about the future, oddly enough

idk why i wanted to give an update on this, but yeah, here it is
hope whoever's reading this has a great day! :)

try and find a different job! that sounds like a fucking nightmare. there might be some programs for like welders or electricians who will train you and you can make decent money. you do have a lot of options right now and thats very scary. but sometimes you just gotta point yourself in a direction and see what happens. itll take a few tried to find a place that doesnt suck ass

Watch movies about janitors. I remember seeing this one about a girl who was Ivy league bound but ruined her life by drunk driving.

find a different job with more agreeable hours. already having a job actually makes getting a new one a lot easier. hell, you'll probably make more money too, it sounds like you only work three hours a day? seek elsewhere

have you thought of applying for NEETbux? (check the unle reimus guide).

>>541
>>545
good posts!

a hikki is a mans fingertips curled at the door

ht

firstly, big boss posting realness

Secondly, procrastination is a huge bitch. I’m still flaking on making some calls for surgery honestly, so you’re not alone. I’d suggest just taking them one at a time. Easier to motivate yourself for one than for like, five. Taking things slowly and at one’s own pace is what Highschool usually prevents, they expect you to work at everyone else’s level. If you’re working to your own pace now, then you can take things one at a time. That should make motivation easier.

Don’t quote me on that though, lol

you need to light a fire under your ass and realize how easily shitty your life could get or how easily good your life could be

hello,op here i finally did it and i started my classes. thank u kangel…

>>556
K-angel poster here! glad to hear it! Just keep at it, make sure you put your needs first if other shit gets in the way and you’ll do something! Still haven’t made my own calls but I’ll get to them eventually. Getting motivation is still a bitch…. 🙏BLESS🙏

I come from this specific situation, So i will share my experiences with you.
A little background on me: I am a guy that was in a comma for some years, after returning to the world I found myself at odds with it, first and foremost I realized that most of my online communities have gone down the gutter or flat out dissipated, second I awoke to my parents being elderly and going through poverty due to medical bills, third and probably most redpilling experience out of them all: my friends have all moved on with their lives, once i tried reaching to them I was blocked by all of them except one dude which i eventually had a falling off due to my poverty, You kiddos better believe that when you go down hard, you go down alone, and if the people out there think that you are the bearer of the stone then they will gladly throw you down the lake with it.
Being a NEET serves no one and it will ultimately end up with your downfall into the most vicious trap of them all: Poverty.
Get this through your heads, if you are easily depressed then bear the weight of these words but don't look away from them:
You are a liability for them all, the only ones that refuse to think like that are your main enablers. But this blind refusal to acknowledging what we became is the perfect excuse for us to continue being worthless parasites, we literally have reasons to leech if we are allowed to, but once the host dies we die too, we are living off as literal parasites for the only people that refuse to give up hope on us, but at the same time they have so little trust in our capabilities that they accept our leeching ways.
For the ones outside our circle we are vermin to get rid off, for the ones inside we are little more than pet dogs; what a way to live, we lost our humanity in the eyes of everyone, and if we aren't made aware of our dehumanization then we will eventually come to accept our subhuman lives.
I refuse this, to go along with the plans of others means that we will all eventually end up being discarded, no matter our abilities, our intellect, our strength or our moral pathway, once we get branded as useless by our own society then all that follows is the progressive removal of each of our rights.
That's how they truly look at us, this is what they have done to me, if this is a question of rights then we must too fight for them, and we must fight against everyone that tries to take them away from us, we are divergent, but that doesn't mean thatPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>533
Had that realisation a few days ag and the fear and sadness is getting to unreal levels. But I think it's good for me. I'm barely 25, been working part time since I was 23 and e half (not every month, but most months), wasted 2 years on degrees I gave up on (it's free here so I didn't take it seriously, I took the second one seriously but had incredibly bad luck and just gave up after that experience a few months in). I'm taking it seriously again, turning that part time job into a full time one (I had full time and even overtime weeks with it, but most of the weeks were part time) and studying in advance to become an engineer. To me, it's more than just fear of homelessness. It's about redemption really. Turning things around from a situation that seems to be so brutally fucked it would be better to just give up on it completely. Something beautiful in it. I have very simple goals, to work and study, to take care of my health, get fit, then go go to college, crush it and possibly get a good or at least decent job. I don't even care about women, or anything anymore. Feel too broken for any of that. Maybe with time it will heal. But yes, you're right, the realization is what makes you wake up. Once you wake up you have a road, a very hard, but beautiful one. It's very hard to take so most people give up or sadly, an hero, but a few managed to turn it around. I just talked to a guy recently who managed to turn things around after 10 years of NEETdom, which is insane to me. Car, house, no debt, girlfriend, stable career, good pay, great physique, etc… Another case is a real life hermit named Dr. Gregory P Smith who basically experienced what you described but in a different way, and turning things around at 45 after a lifetime of just being a bum or in institutions. I'm scared but not hopeful. Sorry for the blogpost, you guys are the only people I relate to.

>>523
How did they feel from when you began to now, how long were you on them and what are you taking? I don't know what they dish out these days and didn't care to as it always leads to inner death. SSRIs or some of them are 20% fluoride so I reckon it just eases the stressed and depressed parts of your brain by killing it and further use leads to the emotional death and zombie state of mind that many users have before they come down hard and go batshit for whatever period of time. A friend of mine took Prozac for a couple months because they were so depressed they were forgetting things along the lines of how to tie their shoes, and they're really not the same anymore even after that short period of time like their personal strand of darkness has been locked up and they express their feelings in a more generic way.

In comparison ADHD meds aren't that bad but I realized retrospectively that roughly during the period I was on Vyvanse I was barely having any fucking dreams, that it's like my thoughts are topped out and I can only go so far to develop an idea, and the width of what I visualize in my head fucking shrank so there's probably not much difference between it and SSRIs. I'm beginning to ramble but if you have any questions about it feel free to ask.

My diagnoses was updated, i no longer have to fight against crazy people for food nor do I have to be chained to a bedroom in order to be sedated, i can now display agressive behavior at will as well as restrain it with enough effort, i have resumed my lenguage learning courses and started studying some online course about materials, i still feel the need to lash out sometimes but a gym was useful in quenching that need, i can't go to the gym right now so managing my anger issues have become increasingly difficult, i lost all my files countless times and i am far too jaded to download them again, so i just gave my CV to some russian mail provider, I hope this time i don't get accused of being a russian spy by the homosexual charlatans, but if i do i hope i get to fly out of here and leave this horrid country behind.

>>525
I've been taking Zoloft for about 5 months, and it'll probably take me an additional month or two to taper off them. I only started taking them as a temporary measure to get me back on track after my OCD relapsed, but it's reached the point where the negatives far outweigh the benefits. I feel like I've been lobotomized at times, and the emotional numbness feels almost as miserable as the OCD itself does. It's been fucking up my short term memory as well; I often forget things right after I started thinking about them, kinda like what happened with your friend. I just hope the effects aren't longlasting.

I stopped taking the Vyvanse a while ago, and I probably won't be trying any other stimulants anytime soon. I feel like my OCD makes me incompatible with them.

I'm pretty certain that I have OCD, BPD and maybe ADHD. I've tried to come out and explain to my parents about this but they were quite dismissive, and I also live in a place with poor mental health awareness so I'm not diagnosed but I wish I were.

I can manage by BPD but my OCD can be debilitating at times, and I've experienced almost every type of OCD that's there from thinking about jumping from rooftops, being afraid of urine, feces or spit, worrying if I have colon cancer, or even worrying if I were a P. An important way I cope with my OCD is by avoiding everything. Sometimes I even avoid going out. I also avoid watching anime, and sometimes even the internet, because seeing lolis trigger my POCD.

itd likely help but im scared of going to any kind of doctor or whatever. ive physical complications as well that i really probably should get checked out but i just cant bring myself to

anon here. small update.

in about two weeks I’ll be out of here.

Despite a lot of shit going down the past couple days, I am starting to feel more safe and loved.

hopefully the move will go smoothly and I will be happy.

thank you for letting me rant

good luck.

Op here. The move took forever, but I’m here now. Tomorrow, I’ll be out and hopefully my new life can begin. I’m nervous, but excited, somewhat feeling like I’ll finally be safe and happy. Maybe I won’t be, but it’s worth a shot.

Hope all of you are well

>>517
i hope things go well for you in this new stage in life :) something i heard from a friend is that one new years, they try to do all the kinds of things they want to do for the year (ie: read more, go to library; be healthier, go to gym etc) i think this is a great time to try that! make ur first day special :)

>>517
that's really cool. I hope today went alright for you, you're doing something to actually change your life which is more than what most of /hikki/ can say at any point.
this wasn't the image I was looking for but it's fitting, hopefully