/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

I remember having panic attacks when I was in school during those on the job training periods. I ran to hide in the toilets for hours. To combat this I wore earmuffs and closed myself in my thoughts. If you don't want to look like a retard like me you could instead just wear headphones and listen to some music to drive the same purpose. Though these measures didn't really help me that much so what do I know I'm unfit for work anyway. Sorry for retard text. Hopefully you can understand ._.

>>223
Panic attacks sucks but a good way to calm down yourself is drinking water and breathe correctly, also the lack of sleep can makes you feel like shit, everything is mental so care about your mind :)

>>223
first things you should remember. breathing, steady it, focus on a rhythm. remember what time it is, look at your surroundings how to figure that out. feel the surfaces around you. focus on the present state, and try and bring yourself down to earth. remember a phrase that becomes a mindset. "this too will pass"

i have panic attacks all the time, i just became more aware i've been having them. if you often have anxiety attacks on a very reoccuring basis you may need a synapic damper to help. it doesnt make you feel much better, just can lessen the onset.

>>222
You are not a failure.
I have had panic attacks before which have steered my life in a different direction that I initially would have imagined it going in, but I'm still here.

I had a panic attack in a plane before it had taken off during a school trip. It was so bad I had to go out of the plane before taking off. It was horrid having to get up and move through the plane and have everyone watch me like that.
A low point that made me incredibly dejected for weeks.
Later, I tried going to a folk high school (Americans don't have it I think, I don't want to explain the concept, but it's kinda like a boarding school for all ages mostly 18+ and up)
I had to quit just a week in due to being completely wrecked. It was as if I had been in a constant state of anxiety the entire time. It was terrible.
I was incredibly dejected for months.
It's been a couple years now since my troubles with anxiety truly turned for the worse, but it's starting to look up now and I've learned some things.

Other anons have already given good advice. It's important to try and tie yourself to reality and not get lost in it when it happens. Acknowledge your panic attack and accept it. Do what you can to get through it and continue moving forward. I think it will get better, slowly. It will get better.

You Are not a failure just because you are not like everyone else. You have your own troubles that you have to deal with, and that doesn't make you a failure. Grow from your experiences and learn about yourself. I think you will come to better handle your panic attacks if you take anons tips to mind and remember them. Sometimes it's not all going to work, it will surely be lots of ups and downs, but don't give up. I got lucky and got a really good psychiatrist a bit later. It's possible that seeking professional help will be beneficial to you, but the opposite is also true.
I was also deeply, deeply struck by the theme of struggling through great adversity in Berserk when Miura died. Deeply struck. It is a very strong message and it has impacted me greatly in the last few months
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>>239
Hey, not OP but I want you to know that you motivated me to go through with getting to this school I somehow managed to get into. I dropped out of highschool and have been a neet for 7 years. I’ve had 2-3 panic attacks the last 5 days trying to drive across country to get here abd turned around twice but I’m here now. I still may go home in a week but thankyou for helping me fund the motivation to try.

I hope you found your friend, op.

This is pretty creepy, man.

:(

I hope you find your friend soon op…

I hope you find your friend soon, good luck.

time to move on dude

>>34
If you live in the United Kingdom and you're unemployed, you can have the government pay your rent and be left with £400 a month in unemployment benefits to live on afterwards. That's $588 a month in american money.

It's not a lot of money, the money sucks, but there's over 200 countries in the world and in most of them you'd starve to death.

Over here the government forced businesses to close, so with landlords still demanding rent from those businesses, lots of companies are struggling to survive. I like to call it the Job Destruction Scheme.

>>227
i did not know that, it sounds too good to be true. even if i needed it, and i probably will some day, i'd feel guilty or ashamed asking for free money for no outwardly obvious reason other than being a softheaded hikkineet

>>227
Is this only true during covid or has it always been like that? Are there conditions like "you have to prove you're trying to get a job"?

>>229
I'm assuming they're talking about the typical benefit most countries have where yes "you have to prove you're trying to get a job". However, many countries have made the application process much easier and they're a bit slacker/more lenient now. For example here around Oceania, they made it much easier to apply, now you can do it all online and simply submit screenshots of your required documents and never have to go into their offices. Before covid you had to go in and attend a seminar and give them all this paperwork, talk to people yadda yadda, you have to keep going back for workshops to make yourself more employable etc none of that shit now lol. I've been collecting for a couple months now (and I just reached the age threshold where I get paid out a bit more, yay) and I've not had contact from anyone haha, tho I'm not sure what I'll do when they finally ask me how my applications have been going… ideally you should just be putting in the odd token application while being sure to come across as a terrible employee. It's hard enough to get a job when you really try so you don't have to do too much, some spelling mistakes, poor formatting etc. worst case they'll just warn you you aren't applying for enough.

I'm doing training online with a remote training company so I get to work from home for a few days. Before the pandemic there would have been no question about going in to the office but now we get these moments

>>111
I'm still (nominally) trying to get my license and I'm 28! I got a permit to learn, but I can only learn with someone else in the car and it's too scary and my mum's car is too big and scary for me to learn/drive in.
I hope you did your best anyway!

>>194
Well, turns out the whole thing is a bit rigged in my country. Basically, you have to pass a test about driving theory and one about driving practice. To prepare for the test you must purchase classes, each class allows you to drive with a teacher for 45 minutes. Turns out the driving school has to milk a certain amount of money out of you or you won't pass the test. And at almost 1000€ spent (ran out of money) it wasn't enough for them so I tried two times to pass the actual test and no dice, the teachers are buddies with the people who test you (won't even try to hide it, the last time I overheard them talking about going to drink a few beers after they were done with me) and if you haven't paid enough you fail the exam because they already know how to "make you" fail. Amazing that this thing happens in an actual European country in 2021. So I still can't drive because I don't have money to pay the corruption tax…

On the bright side, I did complete my security guard training and I could potentially get a job soon. I don't think much will change, I'm already 27 and have lived like this my whole life, I don't even want to put effort to make friends or things like that. I've gotten to a point where I actively avoid it, it's like interacting with people more than necessary is a hassle for me. I just talk with some close friends and that's it. I have nothing in common with normies, what would be the point of becoming anything else than circumstantial acquaintances with them? I don't even know how people have the energy to make a worthwhile friendship with more than 1 or 2 friends. This is like that thing that happens to people who've been in jail for too long, they just stop considering any other lifestyle and go back to jail on purpose.

>>218
What do you feel that you could teach a normie, if anything?

I've successfully completed four weeks of uni. My other attempts over the past few years have barely lasted a week. A couple of people have spoken to me and I've tried talking to them but I feel like they'll eventually work out how defective I am and stop trying soon enough. One already has but the other one still says hi to me when we walk past each other.
>>111
Good work mate. I'm 27 and only have my learner's licence. We're also the personality type.
>>172
Good work on getting the debit card and also doing it on your own. I understand how doing that sort of stuff by yourself can be difficult.

>>219
What do you mean?

>>148
I understand what you mean OP and would like to point out that you can paint this grey to whatever you want and however you want.
You can even do it from home, while still being a hikki neet. It only depends on what you do, how often you do it and how much you invest into it. You could even work from home. Well I hope to read future updates on your doing and thank you for your prayers, I have some use for them currently.

Nothing wrong with schizophrenia tbh.

i agree to an extent but the good has to outweigh the bad to be worth it, some of us are hikkis because before the hikki life there was too much bad and absolutely nothing good

>>215
>the good has to outweigh the bad to be worth it
Not op but I don't agree. If I were given the choice between a life of 3/4 bad + 1/4 good and a life completely neutral I would take the first easily.

>>216
lmao

Contact the governemnt and talk to a social worker they may help you it depends why you want/need to stay in one.

>>124
I know that feel. For me it's part anxiety and part trauma. You can try drinking some alcohol to dis-inhibit, and it's also helpful if you go with a friend who will be a social wingman for you, like introduce you to people and help drive the conversation towards things you have an easier time talking about, like your interests. If you don't have such a person you will just have to walk up to someone and be awkward. This is more difficult than it sounds, but you will feel great when it actually works, even if it's just a few minutes of conversation before you exhaust yourself. The social muscle needs to be exercised or it will atrophy, and exercise strengthens it. Like any exercise, it is painful when you start up doing it.

I got my start with out-of-highschool socializing by doing offline meets with people who shared my interests. It's easier to talk to someone offline if you have spent some time feeling them out online.

That said, I still do a lot of sitting around when I go to parties, but otherwise I stick around people I know and try to get in a few words with their friends who come talk to them. Networking is one of the easiest ways to increase your number of friends, because you can assume the new person is comfortable with your friend, so there will be some measure of compatibility.

>Growing up I was never put into school
isn't that illegal? anyway, you could start with learning basic math

Regarding the fact that you have trouble reading books… I know someone irl with the same problem, he loses attention/interest really fast. So, his solution was to read 3 books at the same time: he picked the first one, read 2 pages, picked the second, read 2 pages and so on, alternating between the books. He is quite successful with this technique.

I also recommend you to search about the dopamine detox method, it can help you if you get depressed trying to study something or doing other activities that gives you no pleasure.

Watching online classes on YouTube is also really good.
And remember to write what you learn on paper, so you can train your calligraphy and memory. The human brain never loses it's capacity to learn, even when you get older.

And… think about your interests, is there a hobby relating to what you like? A subject to study? I'm sure there is at least one…

And if it's possible and you feel comfortable asking this… you could ask your parents to go to an "after school" class (Something like arts&crafts or game making) after the quarantine… sorry if you've already tried this…

Lastly, retail jobs might be a possibility… some of them don't require experience and I've even heard of anxious people working on them.

I hope you're ok. You can escape.

>>85
This is all probably good advice, but…

>ask your parents
No OP, TELL your parents. You're not a kid anymore. I have a sort of similar problem with my mum so I know it's not easy, but you need to be assertive and stop asking permission for things you shouldn't need it for.

>and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored
When I started reading (years after I learned how to read), I could only read 1 sentence at a time before resting. When I would read a sentence, I would read each word separately, remembering (recalling, or (learning and) memorizing) each possible meaning of that word. Only when I am sure that I have comprehended that piece, I continue to the next piece. I still read the same way, but (1) I read faster, because I can scan for pieces that I already comprehend, and (2) I can read longer, because I have more intellectual stamina.
I think that this is why many childrens' books are picture books: each page has only a few sentences, and a beautiful picture. Take it easy: read less, and ensure you comprehend it before continuing.
More concretely, you can try arranging your environments or habits to include more literature. Example: choose music with good lyrics: L'America by Jim Morrison, I Talk to the Wind by King Crimson, Matilda Mother by Syd Barrett,, Learn the lyrics of your faovurite songs so that you can ponder the songs' meanings when you're away from your music player. It'll be easy to memorize, because you listen to it many many times.

School is a literal prison, but it sounds like so is your family situation.

>I've never studied anything before, and can't even read two pages of a book without getting bored, demotivated
Have you tried reading something that actually interests you or are you just trying to teach yourself "the basics" aka what wage society expects you to know?

If you fuck that girl you're going to REINCARNATE

>>74
Autistically I didn't want to have sex without feeling sure, as to not lead her on.

I think this was because I was insecure in hindsight and too stubborn.