There is a man with quill pens and ancient scrolls. He hands one of each to us so that we won't be bored here. There's rumors of a huge monster approaching.
Suddenly a 15-story tall purple-haired loli comes right out of nowhere and smashes one of us beneath her bare foot.
Wow, that was terrible.
"We wake up at a dirty beach made out of red clay instead of sand with trees hanging over the beach and a industrial pipe in the water."
-and then FUCKING CLOWNS.
This place suddenly became very loud.
suddenly we're on a ship full of police officers and immigrants
A girl in Sepia is holding a ball in front of you
Looking at it, you notice its translucence and dancing patterns.
And then a tiger eats us.
And then he breaks into song.
"There's a party in my tummy! So yummy, so yummy!"
while running around a fully lit mansion filled with various headphones and old radios
in another room is a maid sodomizing a butler.
then Freud comes out and screams "PENIS"
Then, you are suddenly in elementary school again and your are chasing your friends in the playground, when you slowly start to fall backwards
But then suddenly, a great horde of zombies attacks!
And they catch you as you fall!
You look down at the rest of your body and suddenly realize that you're Youmu Konpaku.
You look back up and your surroundings have changed. You are now in your house but all the floors are rotting wood. You look around to see if everywhere is the same and find a gecko eating an insect. It then walks towards you and grows 9ft tall and punches you with its tongue.
You turn off the lights and it becomes a huge hideous monochrome face.
It turns into a troll face as it punches a wall with the word "4th" spray painted on it.
Suddenly, you have to pee, so you go to the bathroom. The sink and bathtub are filled with colorful chameleons for some reason.
You think about being small, which, of course, causes you to spontaneously shrink to the size of an insect.
You proceed to make multiple copies of yourself.
Then you start running in a retarded-looking way with your arms flailing about, and everyone at school laughs at you meanly, and you wonder why you ran like that, embarrassed
Then you find yourself in a time machine that looks like the Epoch with Bec Noir singing the song the devil sings in the south park movie.
Suddenly a yellow and orchid creature with three heads and no eyes appears.
It claims it has prepared a show it wants you to see, you see all your loved ones being attacked by snakes behind it as it smiles at you like a stalker
You turn around, and notice a pink transvestite dinosaur is spitting eggs at you!
Then you turn into a shinigami.
Suddenly a 15-story tall green-haired loli comes right out of nowhere and smashes one of us beneath her bare foot.
then the apocolypse cracks the earth open
You're on the balcony of your apartment.
- And then a cow jumps over the moon.
Then you say "Fuck this, I'm most likely dreaming" and jump off the side of the building.
And you land in a conveniently placed bounce house.
with a bunch of children, and you're instantly reverted back into child form.
Suddenly a 15-story tall brown-haired loli comes right out of nowhere and… pokes the bouncehouse with her finger while giggling.
You then smoothly change genders, and find yourself at the beach with your twin brother.
Suddenly a massive arch made entirely out of fire erupts from the ground around you, standing exactly 507.5 inches tall.
You shit yourself.
Then four Nagas/Lamias ask you for one tablespoon of condoms.
you head for the kitchen to see Mugi Kotobuki smile and wave at you while carrying tea to a room. You stare in disbelief..
Rape time commences.
you are raped by a smoker in the kitchen
Suddenly a 15-story tall blue-haired loli comes right out of nowhere and smashes you and your sore ass under her foot.
She grabs you between her toes and tosses you into her mouth, straight down her throat.
Inside her stomach, there is a forest. Your girlfriend is waiting for you.
Someone in the forest starts chasing you. You and your girlfriend escape by running deeper into the forest and hiding in one of a row of multicolored porta-potties. There are no toilets inside, rather there is a grassy field and a brick building.
You run towards the ice maze.
…and accidentally summon your future self, who has pulled a complete 180 in terms of personality.
But suddenly you see it — your future self is being controlled by an alien brain parasite!
You become trapped in a fleshy maze.
you along until you reach a pulsating hole in the wall
..and from a higher power, your consciousness transfer to the mind of a black sheep
Suddenly, the whole area fills with pussy juice.
The loli cums you out.
"Feels good man. Huh? I don't remember putting a black sheep in there…"
you are suddenly chased by a giant marionette head speaking in riddles while you complete a maze filled with puzzles for you to complete.
(I need to draw this collab dream someday)
The giant head explodes, spurting hot lava everywhere. You rush to your car before you get burnt.
recklessly driving through a destroyed city, you realize that possessed cars are now trying to kill you
So you go on a safari with a bunch of vietnam vets in their late 20's
On the way to the safari, you stop by at a school. A teacher with a plushie face begins to chase you.
and then James Bond is after you as well
James Bond brings out a blue fluffy maggot with a girl's face from his pocket. 'It's your daughter,' he says.
This maggot is then used in a special concoction of Juggernog that turns you into a zombie.
A 15 story-tall pink-haired zombie loli, that is. You smash James Bond beneath your bare foot.
This…15 story tall loli has been appearing quite often in your dreams, has it, Anon?
Noop. Only the first two loli encounters were mine.
..then you fly out of a forest, free from all earthly restraints
You find a corpse on the road.
The corpse gets up and infects you with the virus that originally killed it. Fungi start growing out of your skin.
… Wait. Hold that thought for a second. Before you let yourself die, think back for a second.
The girlfriend that you sort of forgot inside the stomach of that enormous, masturbating, blue-haired loli.
She… is still okay, right? She hasn't been reduced to loli-nutrients yet, right?
You proceed to beat the shit out of your own sanity.
a breeze blows by
and you start day dreaming..
in your daydream, you are lying atop a tall bed, 5m off the ground. You are with your wife, who is a butterfly. The girl you really love calls for you from below. You climb down from your bed to be with her.
Two Girls with huge dicks are in your bathroom. What do?
The two girls pull out their handguns and begin to shoot at you. You shoot their shoulders to disarm them but you end up feeling sorry for them.
You can't bear to face them after what you did, so you shrink to the size of an insect and hide in the dryer.
You get eaten by a man, and a face starts growing on his stomach.
I'm not even kidding it actually looked like Nic Cage though
The face begins to grow in size and you suffocate in the skin.
The skin infects you and you are now a zombie.
You kill yourself because you don't want to be a zombie anymore, and your dream-brother lays lotus-patterned tiles under your body.
You become a ghost and suddenly, evil kids have invaded the entire universe.
- we meet a random monster. Everything becomes bullet hell.
You are then transported to a fancy opera house, but there is a war going on where your friends are, and the weapons are light sabers and mirror-shields. In order to kill someone, you must shoot someone's shield to kill the person adjacent to the one holding the shield.
Soon the war ends, and you meet with a Sabitsuki cosplayer whose outfit is very crappily made.
The Sabitsuki player picks you up and flies through long corridors. You think to yourself: "I COULD BE NYAN CAT….."
Then you notice, between the cosplayers leg is a strange dangling object…
It's a guitar! You stare in disbelief.
Your in school at 3:00 AM. Your in the computer lab playing Minecraft. You go out into the halls and notice there's a few other people there, some are weird alien things. You see your buddy Joseph there.
you blink (since your eyes start to burn), then open your eyes groggily.
You are now in a library filled with familiar faces
These faces are plastered on hundreds of gigantic cocks. The cocks start floating and slowly make their way towards you
You grab the cocks in pairs of two and wrestle them to the ground. Soon they transform into the legs of a woman in a bathtub.
The woman has drowned herself, and her daughter decides to commit suicide by jumping from a cliff.
and because you weren't paying attention, you lost your footing and fall off the cliff also
As you fall, you notice a giant owl skull in a crevice on the cliff. Its eyes are still intact.
The owl head mocks you, and you climb into a spaceship and fly away to escape the mockery.
"so beautiful" - the only words coming to your mind as you watch the stars twinkle by
A warning light starts to flash bright red-The ship is crashing.
You frantically try to open the hatch and escape, only to find that your body is too weak to even pull the lever.
Your whole body goes loses energy, and you flop down on the floor.
you struggle to get back on your feet, but only to realize a swamp is keeping you in place
You sink through the swamp, and can feel stringy bits of it threading through your teeth.
You sink into the swamp and arrive in the sky.
There, you see a glossy black spaceship the size of Maine floating over a jungle coastline.
looking up at the vines, you find genetically enhanced fruits
One fruit glows yellow and everything else fades…
You are sitting in the back seat of a car. In the front are a driver and passenger. Both are silent and staring ahead. The interior light glows dim yellow, and you can't see anything outside.
Although you can vaguely make out the shape of something in the distance, it looks sort of like… a foot. A massive, bare foot.
A massive 15-story-tall loli's bare foot, specifically. The car is crushed beneath it.
suddenly, your soul is released -
you look down at the collapsed figure of your body while ascending to the heavens
While looking down, you pass by lips, teeth, and a tongue. By the time you realize that you're inside a mouth, it's too late for you to do anything, as the lips and teeth close around you. Giggling can be heard and felt, as the entire area flips backwards, and the moist tongue seductively slips over every inch of your soul as if to absorb every last bit of flavour into it. Eventually the licking stops. The cessasion of the loli's tasting strikes you with a horrific reminder of what's to come. All in a mere split-second, the back of the tongue depresses, revealing a swaying uvula over a deep, fleshy chasm, and you are forced into the abyss of the loli's throat with a powerful slosh. As you freefall down the loli's esophagus, your body in the crushed car begins cumming aggressively.
Now that you are feeling refreshed, you decide to look for your lost girlfriend.
You find yourself back in the forest, but now it is dark, and evil, horrible things in there would very much like to bite your ankles.
You try to hide but every tree you try to climb or hide behind darts away from you.
and now the forest transitions into a jungle
And now you are surrounded by thousands vines that hang from the sky, some have tropical flowers blooming on them. When you approach they drift away from you like how curtains open on a stage.
you now stand inside the ruins of a cathedral. It feels…enchanting
The back walls of the cathedral are made of gold-rimmed glass, and you can see glass exit doors leading to a beautiful garden. You walk up to the glass, see your reflection, realize that your body is female, and never give it a second thought. You walk through the doors outside into the garden when you finally spot your girlfriend. She's Sakaki from Azumanga Daioh.
you then spot a dragon egg on a marble podium
It splits open and thousands of ants pour out.
Sakaki and you run away from the ants. On the far side of the garden is a brown venetian motorboat floating in a river. You both jump into it and ride off across the top of an awesome waterfall and into a cave. This cave is a house cave and it looks really cool and there's a huge flatscreen tv and a bar and everything in the living room. You stop for a drink.
the liquid tastes incredibly sweet, nothing like you have ever experienced before. "What is this" you wonder.
You begin to feel pressure and heat around your entire body. You shrink down so small that the carpet goes over your head. You hear rustling. Suddenly, one of those goddamn ants comes out of the forest of carpet into the small clearing that you're in. You become enraged instead of scared.
as the town around you catches on fire
>>583>shrunken in the carpet of the living room of a house inside a cave inside a stomach>the town around you
I don't even
You wake up, or do you?
A blurred stream of images washes over you. Cars, a forest, a jungle, idols;
spirits are doing this to you?
You wake up for real, covered in a cold sweat. You take anti-malarial medication and dream something less frenzied and manic.
You get out of bed and walk outside of the house into a forest of carpet. There are giant dead ants everywhere.
You begin to feel as if your legs are becoming jello.
so you sit down
…on a bench in a park on a floating island.
to notice the beautiful scenery
It is a dense flooded forest with hanging vines and trees that have no bark.
But then the host of "Reading Rainbow" descends from the sky and attacks!
It is not to be, however. You ride on a donkey, with Zombie Bob Marley riding shotgun towards a Starbucks.
surprise! You are now holding a piece of paper
You try to make use of the lucidity, but it's the fleeting kind that happens right before you wake up, and you wake soon after. Or do you? Positioned on top of you on his hands and knees is Lupin III. His jacket keeps switching between green and red as he interrupts everything you try to say by talking about his own lucid dream or by just saying "Luuuuucid" and "dreeeaaam"
I look at him angrily and say: "No." Taking out a paper fan, I swing it at him and he gets blown away by the wind.
You can feel yourself waking up. If you don't figure out how to stay asleep in the next few seconds, you're going to wake up with the disappointment of another wasted lucid dream.
realizing that you are in full control of the dream, you visit an open market to buy pastries
Then a tanned guy with long black hair,a large metal gauntlet and the sexiest,most piercing yellow eyes you've ever seen walks towards you. Then he takes his shirt off.
And you've turned into a blond ninja.
..running around in a labyrinth
The woman of your dreams runs past you
suddenly, a secret agent chases you to a mall
You escape from the secret agent in a party crowd in a college gym, and sit in a chair. You see a cute girl and realize you still have some lucidity left so you summon her over to you and start making out with her. Unfortunately, you don't have full control over the dream and your body starts shrinking smaller and smaller until the girl you're tongue-tied with slurps you into her mouth and swallows you whole.
and then the dream becomes lucid!
You summon a giant drill to destroy the giant
The drill is useless against the girl's stomach lining, but a tall man with messy blond hair hands you a black knife that cuts through anything.
You take off your glasses and the lines appear before your eyes.
Just as you ready your knife, the screen flashes red and you hear that fucking annoying heartbeat sound. Shit. Your arrhythmia is kicking in again. On the fleeting edge of your consciousness, just before you black out, you see, for a fleeting second, in the corner of your eye, in the darkest reaches of the giantess' stomach, a glimpse of the silhouette… of a goddamn chair.
All of the pieces fall into place.
That fucking chair was behind all of this. You know that now and there's not a goddamn thing your can do about it.
Your meat stick tenses in anger.
Russia from Hetalia appears and sits on the chair,destroying it in a flash of red lightning.
and then the Hulk smashes, obliterating a building before your eyes
Then Myouren Hijiri from Touhou appears and tells you that the Chosen One must stop The Dark Queen Of Ice Cirno and you are the one who must revive the mythical being. Myouren then announces that he will kill you and prevent the Chosen One awakening to gain Queen Cirno's respect.
Suddenly a 15-story tall rainbow-haired loli comes right out of nowhere and smashes one of us beneath her bare foot.
you ride away on a motorcycle - ahh, the fresh breeze
You discover that your sandwich is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.
Inside your head you're thinking: "What?"
so you take apart your sandwich.
It looks like a normal sandwich apart from the fact that there's a large knife inside.
So you stab the sandwich remains and get 100 yen.
Quickly after receiving the money, you try to put it in your butt pocket, but it wouldn't fit no matter what. Then you realize you're not holding anything. Also you're not wearing pants.
Not wearing pants, you decide to whip out the laptop, sit down, and start wanking to some anime foot fetish pictures. You turn around and realize your cousin was watching you and looking at the screen. He seems traumatized.
Your cousin's pupil gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger till it fills up all avail space everywhere in a cool, dark void. You wake up, without the laptop, but still without pants, on a bed in the middle of a desert of light blue sand. You know where you are for some reason; the land of tears, where all sad/painful/remorseful memories go. A giant red sun shines in the sky, but its mostly cloudy. The gentle rain continues with no abatement.
and a little rain can't you from enjoying life - you zoom away on a motorcycle
You pass a giant broken down robot. It looks like it was struck by lightning several times, and numerous pieces have fallen off into the sand, or been scorched heavily.
A toringen glides across the sky, high up but visible, on a hand-glider, leaving sight in a bank of clouds.
Piss scared of the creature, you induced paralysis on yourself
A containment breach occurs and SCP-777-J runs away to be free. You turn around to get out, but SCP-173 is right there and you really need to blink (remember that blinking one eye doesn't work)
he chases you to a dark beach house where you shoot him repeatedly and he explodes into googly eyes
and now cute kittens are everywhere! You immediately hug one
Someone you remember was a dick from high school then finds you. You are then reduced to a game of cat and mouse, hiding around a shopping centre making sure he doesn't find you. He does, however, and then flips his shit because he can't touch you. He throws tables and chairs around, while you walk out.
After walking outside you realize youve stepped in a giant, white room. You dont know the size of it, but in the distance you see an older looking man walk towards you.
As he gets closer, you can hear him repeat quite loudly:
He repeats it repeatedly for three hours until he reaches you. Once he gets to you he yells:
WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?!
You realize it is Michael Rosen
You then turn around, and you're suddenly in the Red Alert universe. You jump into what looks like a Soviet building that never appeared in the game. You run around, trying not to die when suddenly, you're looking at some Commandos getting wiped out by those pesky Commies. The "MISSION FAILED" sign appears before your eyes.
Feelings of frustration and grief swirl inside of your head. You decide to sit down to calm yourself
As soon as you do, Commander Shepard comes out of fucking no where and says the Reapers are attacking. You decide to shit yourself innfear.
Youre now Garrus fucking Vakarian.
ARE YOU A BAD ENUFF DOOD?
You fly over an island that's shaped like a ring. (E.g. Has water in middle) a voice-over tells you that "Of Faith, Power and Glory is one of the first bastions of air defence against the Luftwaffe." You are then told to deploy some gold-plated planes around the island.
You now realize this is a VNV Nation reference and begin to look like Mikhail himself.
You are now number 1 goth badass.
You decide to go to an industrial club to fux bitches.
Angry Kid appears out of the blue, and starts shooting at everyone. You watch as everyone you love and cherish get gunned down, until it's just you. You're standing in front of him, when he looks at you coldly and tells you, "run." You start to run, but your legs feel like they're walking through water. You get shot in the back, die and wake up.
…in the ruins of a cathedral located in a mystical forest
Supported on the back of a giant tortoise that is slowly moving through a completely purple field of flowers. Almost the size of the tortoise, if not bigger, a single huge mountain dominates the northern horizon.
You attempt to climb the mountain only to find it has been greased; You will need to find another way.
but before that, you smoke a cigarette
You smoke the entire cigarette with a single, mighty inhalation, and turn around twice. You exhale, and a uniform ring of twelve hills rises around the mountain. The path under the mountain should lie inside one of those hills.
You head to the nearest town to find supplies for your journey. Upon arrival you meet this woman who asks if you could help with something. You reply with a yes and she proceeds towards a farm of some sort, you following behind. She shows you a brown and white cow with wheat protruding from its skull…
and then you notice something strange…The cows have human-like facial features
Suddenly, you feel tickling inside of you. You turn back and see a cow entering your butt.
you then turn your attention to the orange sky
An orb-weaver floats against the bright background.
You become paralyzed at the sight even though you don't have arachnophobia.>>1165
While you're distracted your mom gives you a call telling you she's found the hard yaoi and bl games on your computer. She's deleted all of it from your hard drive and you're in big trouble. You feel really bad about losing the roleplay you wrote
Out of plain curiousity…you squeezed a bug between your fingers and blue paint splattered everywhere
I had two dreams
of a simialr fashion.
The setting is a waterway with giant open area arches.
Imagine theed from starwars
Rivers abound with stone island cities. with large catholic looking buildings everywhere made of stone.
Everything is done by boat. Giant statues sticking out of the water very greeko roman
However, you then snap out of insanity and see that a giant Hitler baby is starting World War 3.
But then you remember how nice it is to watch Pee-wee Herman while you're half-asleep at 3AM.
Its pretty comforting, but the commercials are a bit wierd. Theres this Jack in the Box commercial where theyre using sex to sell their new fish tacos. And the woman voicing it sounds like Sarah Silverman.
…you wake up in an empty parking lot that stretches as far as the eye can see. A tide rolled forth, tickling your feet with a cool sensation. Truly as ease, you lay down on the pavement to stare into the clear blue sky
You wonder what it's like to be a cloud for a few moments.
Then you become a cloud
And it starts to rain.
You find yourself standing in front of a medieval wall mural of men being stabbed with spears in the colors of royal blue and gold.
As you stare intently at the mural, one of the men blinks and says, "A little help here?"
An orange creature holding a red Fanta in one hand, a blue Fanta in another hand, a green Fanta in a third 'hand' that is where a foot should be, and a orange Fanta in another 'hand' that is where another foot should be tumbles through the air, flying in a fumbling-falling way that it really shouldn't.
The world shakes for a moment.
Everything that was spooky-weird is now normal looking and everything that was normal looking is now spooky and weird.
The creature is no where to be seen, it must have flown on by.
Suddenly a fat guy takes a shit in your mouth.
A bird wearing a green tie screams "YOU SON OF A BIIIIITCH!" and dive bombs the fat guy.
Then you decide to turn the bird into a fish to serve him as dinner to his own family
Feeding someone their own family is frowned upon in Russia, and the Russian police post a warrant for your arrest.