you ride away on a motorcycle - ahh, the fresh breeze
You discover that your sandwich is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.
Inside your head you're thinking: "What?"
so you take apart your sandwich.
It looks like a normal sandwich apart from the fact that there's a large knife inside.
So you stab the sandwich remains and get 100 yen.
Quickly after receiving the money, you try to put it in your butt pocket, but it wouldn't fit no matter what. Then you realize you're not holding anything. Also you're not wearing pants.
Not wearing pants, you decide to whip out the laptop, sit down, and start wanking to some anime foot fetish pictures. You turn around and realize your cousin was watching you and looking at the screen. He seems traumatized.
Your cousin's pupil gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger till it fills up all avail space everywhere in a cool, dark void. You wake up, without the laptop, but still without pants, on a bed in the middle of a desert of light blue sand. You know where you are for some reason; the land of tears, where all sad/painful/remorseful memories go. A giant red sun shines in the sky, but its mostly cloudy. The gentle rain continues with no abatement.
and a little rain can't you from enjoying life - you zoom away on a motorcycle
You pass a giant broken down robot. It looks like it was struck by lightning several times, and numerous pieces have fallen off into the sand, or been scorched heavily.
A toringen glides across the sky, high up but visible, on a hand-glider, leaving sight in a bank of clouds.
Piss scared of the creature, you induced paralysis on yourself
A containment breach occurs and SCP-777-J runs away to be free. You turn around to get out, but SCP-173 is right there and you really need to blink (remember that blinking one eye doesn't work)
he chases you to a dark beach house where you shoot him repeatedly and he explodes into googly eyes
and now cute kittens are everywhere! You immediately hug one
Someone you remember was a dick from high school then finds you. You are then reduced to a game of cat and mouse, hiding around a shopping centre making sure he doesn't find you. He does, however, and then flips his shit because he can't touch you. He throws tables and chairs around, while you walk out.
After walking outside you realize youve stepped in a giant, white room. You dont know the size of it, but in the distance you see an older looking man walk towards you.
As he gets closer, you can hear him repeat quite loudly:
He repeats it repeatedly for three hours until he reaches you. Once he gets to you he yells:
WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?!
You realize it is Michael Rosen
You then turn around, and you're suddenly in the Red Alert universe. You jump into what looks like a Soviet building that never appeared in the game. You run around, trying not to die when suddenly, you're looking at some Commandos getting wiped out by those pesky Commies. The "MISSION FAILED" sign appears before your eyes.
Feelings of frustration and grief swirl inside of your head. You decide to sit down to calm yourself
As soon as you do, Commander Shepard comes out of fucking no where and says the Reapers are attacking. You decide to shit yourself innfear.
Youre now Garrus fucking Vakarian.
ARE YOU A BAD ENUFF DOOD?
You fly over an island that's shaped like a ring. (E.g. Has water in middle) a voice-over tells you that "Of Faith, Power and Glory is one of the first bastions of air defence against the Luftwaffe." You are then told to deploy some gold-plated planes around the island.
You now realize this is a VNV Nation reference and begin to look like Mikhail himself.
You are now number 1 goth badass.
You decide to go to an industrial club to fux bitches.
Angry Kid appears out of the blue, and starts shooting at everyone. You watch as everyone you love and cherish get gunned down, until it's just you. You're standing in front of him, when he looks at you coldly and tells you, "run." You start to run, but your legs feel like they're walking through water. You get shot in the back, die and wake up.
…in the ruins of a cathedral located in a mystical forest
Supported on the back of a giant tortoise that is slowly moving through a completely purple field of flowers. Almost the size of the tortoise, if not bigger, a single huge mountain dominates the northern horizon.
You attempt to climb the mountain only to find it has been greased; You will need to find another way.
but before that, you smoke a cigarette
You smoke the entire cigarette with a single, mighty inhalation, and turn around twice. You exhale, and a uniform ring of twelve hills rises around the mountain. The path under the mountain should lie inside one of those hills.
You head to the nearest town to find supplies for your journey. Upon arrival you meet this woman who asks if you could help with something. You reply with a yes and she proceeds towards a farm of some sort, you following behind. She shows you a brown and white cow with wheat protruding from its skull…
and then you notice something strange…The cows have human-like facial features
Suddenly, you feel tickling inside of you. You turn back and see a cow entering your butt.
you then turn your attention to the orange sky
An orb-weaver floats against the bright background.
You become paralyzed at the sight even though you don't have arachnophobia.>>1165
While you're distracted your mom gives you a call telling you she's found the hard yaoi and bl games on your computer. She's deleted all of it from your hard drive and you're in big trouble. You feel really bad about losing the roleplay you wrote
Out of plain curiousity…you squeezed a bug between your fingers and blue paint splattered everywhere
I had two dreams
of a simialr fashion.
The setting is a waterway with giant open area arches.
Imagine theed from starwars
Rivers abound with stone island cities. with large catholic looking buildings everywhere made of stone.
Everything is done by boat. Giant statues sticking out of the water very greeko roman
However, you then snap out of insanity and see that a giant Hitler baby is starting World War 3.
But then you remember how nice it is to watch Pee-wee Herman while you're half-asleep at 3AM.
Its pretty comforting, but the commercials are a bit wierd. Theres this Jack in the Box commercial where theyre using sex to sell their new fish tacos. And the woman voicing it sounds like Sarah Silverman.
…you wake up in an empty parking lot that stretches as far as the eye can see. A tide rolled forth, tickling your feet with a cool sensation. Truly as ease, you lay down on the pavement to stare into the clear blue sky
You wonder what it's like to be a cloud for a few moments.
Then you become a cloud
And it starts to rain.
You find yourself standing in front of a medieval wall mural of men being stabbed with spears in the colors of royal blue and gold.
As you stare intently at the mural, one of the men blinks and says, "A little help here?"
An orange creature holding a red Fanta in one hand, a blue Fanta in another hand, a green Fanta in a third 'hand' that is where a foot should be, and a orange Fanta in another 'hand' that is where another foot should be tumbles through the air, flying in a fumbling-falling way that it really shouldn't.
The world shakes for a moment.
Everything that was spooky-weird is now normal looking and everything that was normal looking is now spooky and weird.
The creature is no where to be seen, it must have flown on by.
Suddenly a fat guy takes a shit in your mouth.
A bird wearing a green tie screams "YOU SON OF A BIIIIITCH!" and dive bombs the fat guy.
Then you decide to turn the bird into a fish to serve him as dinner to his own family
Feeding someone their own family is frowned upon in Russia, and the Russian police post a warrant for your arrest.