/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

I finally got my first white collar job at age 29 after years of very slow NEET recovery and relapse since I was around 14. I'm making more money than I ever have in my entire life (still below average wage) but its pretty hard to cope… I feel so alienated from all the normalfags in my workplace none of them can relate to me and all of the markers of success they have met/are meeting are things I never have or will or even care to (marriage, kids, etc).

After 4 years of being a total failure I'm able to study and go to university. I still struggle with motivation and social anxiety, but fixing my diet (gluten intolerance and processed food in general were totally ruining my mental and physical health) and changing my mentality (embracing life with ambition instead of rationalizing all my fear and hate) gave me enough clarity and resilience to avoid paralysis and work on my other problems. All situations are different, but I think that everyone with these problems should try to focus on a big energy drain that can be fixed without years on effort, and on creating an affirmative mentality. Life can be beautiful if one accepts all its suffering and contradictions.
I'd also recommend meditation and nofap; they are cliches at this point but they really work. Meditation is a training to stop reacting passively to thoughts, emotions and impulses and being able to see them in third person. And of course masturbation is a huge drain of energy and motivation that should be used on better things.

>>563
Friend, call on Jesus Christ, He'll answer. Put your faith in His death, burial, and resurrection on the third day,and you'll be forgiven of your sins, which I have been forgiven of, as well as countless others. The Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God then indwells and strengthens and transforms. I suggest to not put your trust in vain things, but in God Almighty. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here and can leave an email or create an account on Matrix or whatever if you'd like.

>>565
Was Jesus a NEET?

>>565
Thanks man, I have taken refuge in Vajrayana Buddhism and it really changed my life. I didn't recommend it because I asume most people here have already made up their minds regarding religion.
Once my health and vitality improved the reality of the spiritual world started becoming intuitively obvious and eventually I decided to follow a living tradition. Christianity appeals more to me culturally, but I can't accept eternalism and monotheism; in any case I think any religion is superior to atheism.

>>567
Friend, this is not (organized) religion, as in do this and do that. This is a personal relationship with the Creator God of Heaven and Earth. Look around you for example, doesn't it look like it was created by the same Designer? If in the Bible, the most popular, the most unique, historically accurate and united COLLECTION of SEVENTY books (look at the picture I posted, there is no other book like it), written by over FOURTY different authors, over A THOUSAND AND SIX HUNDRED years or possibly over TWO THOUSAND years, it is written over and over that there is one God, and in there it is prophecied and revealed the just and merciful truth that our debts were paid by God Himself in the flesh, Jesus Christ of Nazareth. If a thief for example steals, is it just for him to go unpunished because he kept all of the other laws? Of course not. Do not be deceived by the false justice of these false religions, that your good is weighed against your evil. Who can satisfy God's will when we are born with a sinful nature as is clearly seen even when you look at little children that don't need to be taught to steal and lie and be selfish? Only God Himself that came in the flesh, Jesus Christ, and lived a perfect life to take upon himself our debts by dying on the cross, being buried, and raised again on the third day, is our hope! It is a gift so simple that can be grasped by a child, just believe. If you have any more questions or would like some resources, feel free to ask.

>>565
>>568
And IT IS NOT WHAT YOU DO (of course action follows faith) BUT WHAT HE DID, DOES, AND WILL DO.

Im trying to do new things instead of just rotting at the PC the whole day. Its being difficult, but i'm improving dayt by day

I'm ex-NEET of sorts for a couple of years now, been in college and close to my bachelors. Working a part time job at a grocery store too. I really hate it somedays though, especially cleaning shifts where I'm basically a janitor. I also don't get paid very well and have trouble making ends meet. Are there any part time job opportunities I can/should look for? I tried to get an internship but got turned down and I really just want to move up in life and be in a respectable field instead of just being a low wage lackey for the foreseeable future.

Hi, I'm new. I've noticed that this board is fixated on escaping NEET life through the traditional path set out in the west: go to school > get a nice degree > get an office job > (???) > success
I think this is a scam though, and the people of younger generations are waking up to this fact it since it doesn't work anymore and involves slaving yourself for product consumption and an unlikely retirement in return.
My (very rough) current plan is to work a simple job doing retail to earn a safety net that'll allow me to rent or buy a home in a remote, rural village with the goal of becoming as self sufficient as possible, eventually I'll find a way to earn a small income there for the few expenses I'd have.
Is there a reason why this alternative route isn't discussed, because I really feel modern society is a trap none of us will ever win. Plus, rural living is extremely cheap beautiful, and fulfilling from my limited experience :)

>>588
What if I follow the traditional plan but dont consoom, put mostly everything into savings and live below my means, then move out & early retire? I don't mind slaving away for the best years of my life if it means freedom somewhere down the road

This is going to get unhinged, so here we go~

>>588
I do believe The Rat Race is a scam as well. Albeit I wouldn't underestimate the value of education, be it institutional or not. You can learn stuff not (only) to get a "valuable job" but to help you understand certain topics better (be it to help others or for your own sake) and then go and request compensation from others for said specialized help. We call that entrepreneurship but I am not sure America knows that word lately…

If you are making barely enough to survive at all times, you are becoming a locked-in wagie and should consider something else. If you are earning a lot make sure to remind yourself what you actually want to do with yourself. Chances are that you are going nowhere in what you are doing thanks to factors outside of your influence. Always have an exit route, like you mentioned.

Unrelated "pro" tip: Do NOT sit on money. Saving for a tool that will allow you to start a business is okay. Sitting on money without a purpose is bad! Be ashamed of yourself. Give yourself a reason, and a great one at that! An example of that is having cash to cover 3 months of salary in case you get fired and don't have a detailed plan yet.

>>586
Kinda implies you tried a single place for an internship and got put down. This reminds me of how I landed my first work after college. I was calling and bothering people and businesses all around me until I heard about a small business in a dire need of a specific position (will go dig it up if needed but they were preparing an at the time fancy automated industrial QA instrument) they weren't announcing yet from gossip from a competitor. And I walked straight into their offices with that in mind. Got the high-rank position right away. Dumb luck I will agree.

Moral of the story: Ask anybody and everybody that looks remotely interested in hiring somebody somewhat close to what you can offer in exchange of money.

PS: The bunny at the right thought it was being smart by nibbling on the hutch. It wasn't. Got patched right away.

hey such cute rabbits! no doubt you like them very much! i'd like to look into your eyes as you watch them being killed when they grow up!(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

>>591
hey anon, that's kind of mean. i hope you can grow as a person!

>>592
guessing its the edgy guy going around on fg making posts about uroqsuki or whatever it was for attention

>>hey anon, that's kind of mean
mean? it's the truth. seeing my cute little rabbits killed was one of my biggest childhood trauma

>>593
Affirmative.

>>6
It's been 2 years but the last 6 months felt like I actually left the life. The reality is that it wasn't much better. I feel despair if friends don't respond to my texts, where as before I understood if it took a week to see a response in chans. Sometimes I wish I didn't meet people, because they didn't meet me in my desired state. I think I can say I'm liked at work but you know it's superficial and shallow like. Due to absorbing myself in the normie wage life I lost sight of my goals and actually lost progress. I observed how they talk bad about each other but will be friendly with you. It makes me uncomfortable, some of them will try to belittle you weirdly even though they are in worse state. I don't want to be full of deceit like them.

For me I realized that the outside is really just like the internet playground, just the realer place. I stopped being afraid of people, even low-lives don't scare me anymore(there is many in my country). And yeah, the computer is basically an escape, a petty one for me because it's really all the same here and there, both have clicks and underground scenes and all sorts of drama and you just learn to stop being afraid and deal with them. For any hikkis here, just go out and live your life, shine bright like a star.

>>540
I'm this anon. Not eating much better but marginally trying to drink more, paying attention to what I eat, even if it's not healthy just trying to get more protein so I have actual energy. I'd been exercising more but I threw my bad back out so I'm recovering from that and it's a struggle to get back into it. In good news I've finally made it to calculus, and I've made and shared some projects (and kept them up rather than nuking the account like usual). Slow progress.

>>540
i feel you anon… studying can be overwhelming, but don't conflate that with actual workload. have faith in your capacity to get shit done. speaking from experience, if you just bite the bullet, you can go way further than you realize. just put your mind to it and before you know it it's the weekend :)

>>22
If u can do uni you dont need SSI. Your just lazy

>>604
about 30% through learning calculus. Predictably, trigonometry is tripping me up, so I need to spend more time studying the identities. I haven't studied for a minute because we've been moving. We moved somewhere a bit nicer, I've been on a couple walks, I need to try to make them daily. I will do one today. I'm also cooking more and baking for my family which feels really good to contribute / make people happy.

On a side note, I'm really reluctant to continue to study because I've been really consumed by self hate for a while, and I see working/being a provider as a way to kind of, redeem or create self worth. I really feel like this is the end of the line. I am a bad person in a lot of ways and I've made a lot of mistakes and I'm in one of those periods where I seem to make a mistake every day. If I can't make up for it by succeeding at this (and continuing to succeed at it, forever, until I die) then I really feel like I'm net-negative on those around me. In some ways living like this is more comfortable. Right now, I'm a terrible failure, but I have the potential to be something else. If I fail, then all I am is a terrible failure, worse than before. I know I have to push forward because time will make that decision for me, so I have to at least try, but it's so hard to risk, I guess, the last possible shred of self worth and hope.

>>605
I think of this comment when I am struggling, thank you. It helps.

hi uboachan, I am just here to announce i will be renouncing shitposting for at least one month do stave off insanity for a little bit longer

Cutted my wrist for the first time a few hours ago, now I just want to die more

My contract is ending soon and I'm having trouble finding new work for once it ends. It's making me incredibly scared I'll fall back into being a NEET/hikki. I know its probably irrational but does anyone else get that fear?

I haven't completely recovered, but I'm still doing better than the years I was a full NEET, I'm in my mid 30's and have been very slowed getting better since my early 20's, I still feel depressed now and then and I don't have close friends other than family, but at least I can take care of myself.

>>654
I managed to get a job but now I am losing my apartment so worried about finding a new place. Wonder if this stuff ever ends or if "recovery" is just an endless road…

I have a part time job but i feel miserable working, the job is not bad but

I have a part time job but I feel miserable all the time, does anyone have some tips on how to not feel depressed at work?

Was NEET for 5 years, went through a few quick temporary jobs and a technician course before getting the current job 6 years ago at a machine shop. My NEET years were the best of my life, if only I had had the money I have today and the wisdom to take better advantage of all the free time.

I’ve been doing surprisingly well at my tasks and got my salary increased a few times. I like the job itself and don't see it as an obligation like others do. I suppose I earn more than many who've been working there for much longer. And they must suspect as much too. All of this along the fact that I don’t know how to socialise with normalfags has become a problem to some of them in there who now want to make my life more difficult.

To those who ended up getting a job, how do you deal with the normalfags at the workplace? Their constant chatter, gossip, drama, the passive aggressiveness, the little shit games?
I've been trying a obivous things but their effectiveness is not lasting. Physical training, meditation, religion, hobbies, leading my thoughts to more pleasant aspects of my life. All this helped with anxiety, but now it is violent thoughts that keep invading my mind. I don't want to quit because I've disappointed my parents enough times already.

>>683
Hey, that's great that you like your job and are good at it to that degree too. That's pretty rare in life, hold onto that.
For normies, how I have had success is to tackle them one at a time. I can't be normal myself, but you can try and shape your perception to be more "endearing weirdo" to them and that's a good spot to be in. They're not used to others letting them be passionate and ramble on about stuff, so try to find one that has an interest or niche experience that you know about and put effort into having some good conversations about it. Let them ramble and chatter at you and act really engaged and earnest in response. I have a coworker who I found out really loves seasonal shonen slop for example, now he comes to me because I'm the only one he can talk to about how cool demon slayer is or whatever and I act all impressed. The good thing about gossip is that, once at least one of them gets fond of you they will then spread it to the others. "Oh anon's not a bad guy, I had a really nice conversation about [whatever niche thing] the other day…" let them work for you while you deal with what you can. This can be really hard and annoying if every coworker is extremely bland and npc tier, but just keep at it. I had a guy I worked closely with for months who was cold to me until I found out he was into Bigfoot, and then in the span of a single day I was suddenly like his best buddy, because I was the only one who seemed like they legitimately wanted to hear his hour long story about bigfoot footprints. Don't ask me why the fuck that worked, I don't get it either. I read Wikipedia for fun so that really helps, if you cycled through a bunch of hobbies etc that will actually be a boon here. Just keep an eye out for topics you can latch on to when they're chattering at you, find their weak point basically. One person at a time. If people are trying to play dumb shitty games with you, lean into being a weirdo and politely just ignore them/don't engage and act ignorant. Hopefully if you demonstrate you aren't a good target for those things, they'll get bored and bother someone else instead.

>>688
Situation is more complex than I showed on my first post. All you’re saying worked and was possible for the first couple of years, but the environment has changed.

I was in good terms with the team. Even if I have little need to talk, some normalfags just must keep their mouths running so I did find common interests with some.
There was this 50 years old with whom I couldn’t, though. Being-loud-is-funny, constant disgusting sexual/faecal comments type of guy, mentality of a stupid 12 year old. I didn’t know what to respond in face of such stupidity so I wouldn’t say anything.

With time he gathered a group of friends, forming a clique. Some I used to get along with, two I even helped on personal projects. People who used to show manners and intelligence began levelling themselves down to fit in with the 50yo. The younger ones act like fan boys of the older ones. Their opinions, tastes, behaviours are all identical to the role model in retardation.

They began pushing me to shit talk other coworkers, the company, the boss, even random strangers passing by… I wouldn’t agree and either pointed the positives or just ignored the subject.
Suddenly it was stupid that I was good at a task or hobby. But it was also ridiculous that I was bad at something else. Even if they have the same interests, qualities or flaws that I do. I confronted them, they pretended nothing was going on.

Today I'm their favourite conversation topic and have to listen to taunting whenever I pass by 2 or more of them. If they are alone and out of sight of the 50yo they act normal.

>The good thing about gossip is that, once at least one of them gets fond of you they will then spread it to the others.
That was true in the beginning. The clique will report all I say or do back to the older ones so they can decide what to think of it and if it can be used against me.

>This can be really hard and annoying if every coworker is extremely bland and npc tier, but just keep at it.
Those who keep to themselves probably think “we are here to do our job, nothing else”. The clique agreed to hate on those first, and I got in trouble for defending them.

>politely just ignore them/don't engage and act ignorant. Hopefully if you demonstrate you aren't a good target for those things, they'll get bored and bother someone else instead.
I do ignore them. They aren’t getting tired, this is how they bond. Only a new target may shake them off me. Before me there were two others, actual normalfags with normal lives, interests and behaviours. They are now taking pills. There wasn’t even a clique back then, it was persistent individual conflicts. Maybe because those two were normalfags their entire lives they weren’t used to being bullied.


You sound really positive. You either have a pretty good culture in your workplace, have a tremendous power to ignore bullshit, or aren’t seeing the avalanche of shit that is heading your way. How long have you been working?

I'm more depressed than i ever felt as a neet with no money. i got a rush of adrenaline thinking about just doing it. last time i felt that was when i was looking over a bridge trying to get courage to fcking jump off it

I'm 32 and moving out of my mom's house for the first time to transfer to a four year school (free ride I don't deserve but am happy to have in any case; I won't be working while finishing my degree)
0 job experience
wish I could larp as a 20 year old without being creepy and mega cringe, like the past 12 years of empty space didn't happen, and like I'm having the same college experience that everyone else is having
my life is never going to not feel shameful unless I either do something extraordinary (lol) or manage to go innawoods

>>716
just pretend you wanted a change of careers. plenty of mature age students go to college at your age.

>>725
how do i get out of this mindset where i strongly feel correctly that everyone would be extremely happy to see my dead with my brains blown out strewn

I start my first full time job tomorrow!

>>727
Congrats anon! You'll do great, you got this!

>>727
Good luck, anon! You can do it!!

>>6
>volunteering at hospitals and hostels
>Now I work as a programmer and web designer

>>20
>Got a job at a restaurant
>Quit that job to go to a sports bar to make more
>Quit that job and got a comfy IT job where I program all day

How do you people do this?! "So I decided to just leave and get a new better job lol" wtf

My work vacations end in a week and I will probably soon start to study for my drivers licence, I cant make food for myself and barely do anything but the world is gonna treat me like an adult (•᷄- •᷅ ;)

i got a job and after awhile, managed to score a boyfriend. things are going well for me but i still get bad urges. every time there's a minor inconvenience, my brain is convinced there's no reason for me to continue doing things. "if i lock myself back up, nothing bad will happen" type of mentality. although things are so positive in my life i still want to crawl back in and hide. what's wrong with me?

started applying for jobs *tumbs up*

>>737
i feel the same in some respects, sounds like fickle pain tolerance

>>738
WISH E LUCK GUS :*THUMBU**

i've been out of the hikki life proper since february 2023, i started working in a greenhouse, in march and april of 2024 i started making social connections, mid september 2024 i moved out of my parents house in bumfuck nowhere and started squatting in a city that has community i felt connected to. in december of 2024 i quit working to spent full time on community volunteering in social.cebtrrs and punk bars and fixing stuff in squats.

i feel like recently ive been falling back on hikki tendencies and dont really know what to do about it, I'd like it of i was more socially outgoing then i currently am.

I've been out of NEETdom for like a month and a half and I already want to go back. Not even working just studying so I don't get to make money.
Last week had 3 insane panic (???) attacks about how bad I am at socializing and how draining it is. This week I'm just smoking weeed and doing K while I'm at home and ignoring every responsanbility.
I just want to be pretty enough so I can whore myself online make actual good money and never have to leave my house if I dont want to.
Oh also really starting to convince myself I'm going to fail every classes because I'm too much of a fuck up to be able to study at home

>>751
Weed will just make everything worse. It exacerbates anxiety, depression, and brain frog. Quitting is hard when life is shit but if you can find something else to make you feel better it's worth it.
Moderate exercise can make you feel slightly better and increase energy levels and brain function, with the added benefit of guys liking girls with nice bodies; theoretically you could land a wageslave bf and avoid having to roll the dice trying to whore yourself out in a sea of young, attractive E-whores. This is assuming you can not be a lazy piece of shit and pitch in around the house/provide emotional support. Even if you think you're ugly you could still be someones type. Tangentially, there are tons of lonely, desperate guys out there.

The outside people are too cruel.