/rec/ - Ex-NEET / Recovery

>>591
hey anon, that's kind of mean. i hope you can grow as a person!

>>592
guessing its the edgy guy going around on fg making posts about uroqsuki or whatever it was for attention

>>hey anon, that's kind of mean
mean? it's the truth. seeing my cute little rabbits killed was one of my biggest childhood trauma

>>593
Affirmative.

>>6
It's been 2 years but the last 6 months felt like I actually left the life. The reality is that it wasn't much better. I feel despair if friends don't respond to my texts, where as before I understood if it took a week to see a response in chans. Sometimes I wish I didn't meet people, because they didn't meet me in my desired state. I think I can say I'm liked at work but you know it's superficial and shallow like. Due to absorbing myself in the normie wage life I lost sight of my goals and actually lost progress. I observed how they talk bad about each other but will be friendly with you. It makes me uncomfortable, some of them will try to belittle you weirdly even though they are in worse state. I don't want to be full of deceit like them.

For me I realized that the outside is really just like the internet playground, just the realer place. I stopped being afraid of people, even low-lives don't scare me anymore(there is many in my country). And yeah, the computer is basically an escape, a petty one for me because it's really all the same here and there, both have clicks and underground scenes and all sorts of drama and you just learn to stop being afraid and deal with them. For any hikkis here, just go out and live your life, shine bright like a star.

>>540
I'm this anon. Not eating much better but marginally trying to drink more, paying attention to what I eat, even if it's not healthy just trying to get more protein so I have actual energy. I'd been exercising more but I threw my bad back out so I'm recovering from that and it's a struggle to get back into it. In good news I've finally made it to calculus, and I've made and shared some projects (and kept them up rather than nuking the account like usual). Slow progress.

>>540
i feel you anon… studying can be overwhelming, but don't conflate that with actual workload. have faith in your capacity to get shit done. speaking from experience, if you just bite the bullet, you can go way further than you realize. just put your mind to it and before you know it it's the weekend :)

>>22
If u can do uni you dont need SSI. Your just lazy

>>604
about 30% through learning calculus. Predictably, trigonometry is tripping me up, so I need to spend more time studying the identities. I haven't studied for a minute because we've been moving. We moved somewhere a bit nicer, I've been on a couple walks, I need to try to make them daily. I will do one today. I'm also cooking more and baking for my family which feels really good to contribute / make people happy.

On a side note, I'm really reluctant to continue to study because I've been really consumed by self hate for a while, and I see working/being a provider as a way to kind of, redeem or create self worth. I really feel like this is the end of the line. I am a bad person in a lot of ways and I've made a lot of mistakes and I'm in one of those periods where I seem to make a mistake every day. If I can't make up for it by succeeding at this (and continuing to succeed at it, forever, until I die) then I really feel like I'm net-negative on those around me. In some ways living like this is more comfortable. Right now, I'm a terrible failure, but I have the potential to be something else. If I fail, then all I am is a terrible failure, worse than before. I know I have to push forward because time will make that decision for me, so I have to at least try, but it's so hard to risk, I guess, the last possible shred of self worth and hope.

>>605
I think of this comment when I am struggling, thank you. It helps.

hi uboachan, I am just here to announce i will be renouncing shitposting for at least one month do stave off insanity for a little bit longer

Cutted my wrist for the first time a few hours ago, now I just want to die more

My contract is ending soon and I'm having trouble finding new work for once it ends. It's making me incredibly scared I'll fall back into being a NEET/hikki. I know its probably irrational but does anyone else get that fear?

I haven't completely recovered, but I'm still doing better than the years I was a full NEET, I'm in my mid 30's and have been very slowed getting better since my early 20's, I still feel depressed now and then and I don't have close friends other than family, but at least I can take care of myself.

>>654
I managed to get a job but now I am losing my apartment so worried about finding a new place. Wonder if this stuff ever ends or if "recovery" is just an endless road…

I have a part time job but i feel miserable working, the job is not bad but

I have a part time job but I feel miserable all the time, does anyone have some tips on how to not feel depressed at work?

Was NEET for 5 years, went through a few quick temporary jobs and a technician course before getting the current job 6 years ago at a machine shop. My NEET years were the best of my life, if only I had had the money I have today and the wisdom to take better advantage of all the free time.

I’ve been doing surprisingly well at my tasks and got my salary increased a few times. I like the job itself and don't see it as an obligation like others do. I suppose I earn more than many who've been working there for much longer. And they must suspect as much too. All of this along the fact that I don’t know how to socialise with normalfags has become a problem to some of them in there who now want to make my life more difficult.

To those who ended up getting a job, how do you deal with the normalfags at the workplace? Their constant chatter, gossip, drama, the passive aggressiveness, the little shit games?
I've been trying a obivous things but their effectiveness is not lasting. Physical training, meditation, religion, hobbies, leading my thoughts to more pleasant aspects of my life. All this helped with anxiety, but now it is violent thoughts that keep invading my mind. I don't want to quit because I've disappointed my parents enough times already.

>>683
Hey, that's great that you like your job and are good at it to that degree too. That's pretty rare in life, hold onto that.
For normies, how I have had success is to tackle them one at a time. I can't be normal myself, but you can try and shape your perception to be more "endearing weirdo" to them and that's a good spot to be in. They're not used to others letting them be passionate and ramble on about stuff, so try to find one that has an interest or niche experience that you know about and put effort into having some good conversations about it. Let them ramble and chatter at you and act really engaged and earnest in response. I have a coworker who I found out really loves seasonal shonen slop for example, now he comes to me because I'm the only one he can talk to about how cool demon slayer is or whatever and I act all impressed. The good thing about gossip is that, once at least one of them gets fond of you they will then spread it to the others. "Oh anon's not a bad guy, I had a really nice conversation about [whatever niche thing] the other day…" let them work for you while you deal with what you can. This can be really hard and annoying if every coworker is extremely bland and npc tier, but just keep at it. I had a guy I worked closely with for months who was cold to me until I found out he was into Bigfoot, and then in the span of a single day I was suddenly like his best buddy, because I was the only one who seemed like they legitimately wanted to hear his hour long story about bigfoot footprints. Don't ask me why the fuck that worked, I don't get it either. I read Wikipedia for fun so that really helps, if you cycled through a bunch of hobbies etc that will actually be a boon here. Just keep an eye out for topics you can latch on to when they're chattering at you, find their weak point basically. One person at a time. If people are trying to play dumb shitty games with you, lean into being a weirdo and politely just ignore them/don't engage and act ignorant. Hopefully if you demonstrate you aren't a good target for those things, they'll get bored and bother someone else instead.

>>688
Situation is more complex than I showed on my first post. All you’re saying worked and was possible for the first couple of years, but the environment has changed.

I was in good terms with the team. Even if I have little need to talk, some normalfags just must keep their mouths running so I did find common interests with some.
There was this 50 years old with whom I couldn’t, though. Being-loud-is-funny, constant disgusting sexual/faecal comments type of guy, mentality of a stupid 12 year old. I didn’t know what to respond in face of such stupidity so I wouldn’t say anything.

With time he gathered a group of friends, forming a clique. Some I used to get along with, two I even helped on personal projects. People who used to show manners and intelligence began levelling themselves down to fit in with the 50yo. The younger ones act like fan boys of the older ones. Their opinions, tastes, behaviours are all identical to the role model in retardation.

They began pushing me to shit talk other coworkers, the company, the boss, even random strangers passing by… I wouldn’t agree and either pointed the positives or just ignored the subject.
Suddenly it was stupid that I was good at a task or hobby. But it was also ridiculous that I was bad at something else. Even if they have the same interests, qualities or flaws that I do. I confronted them, they pretended nothing was going on.

Today I'm their favourite conversation topic and have to listen to taunting whenever I pass by 2 or more of them. If they are alone and out of sight of the 50yo they act normal.

>The good thing about gossip is that, once at least one of them gets fond of you they will then spread it to the others.
That was true in the beginning. The clique will report all I say or do back to the older ones so they can decide what to think of it and if it can be used against me.

>This can be really hard and annoying if every coworker is extremely bland and npc tier, but just keep at it.
Those who keep to themselves probably think “we are here to do our job, nothing else”. The clique agreed to hate on those first, and I got in trouble for defending them.

>politely just ignore them/don't engage and act ignorant. Hopefully if you demonstrate you aren't a good target for those things, they'll get bored and bother someone else instead.
I do ignore them. They aren’t getting tired, this is how they bond. Only a new target may shake them off me. Before me there were two others, actual normalfags with normal lives, interests and behaviours. They are now taking pills. There wasn’t even a clique back then, it was persistent individual conflicts. Maybe because those two were normalfags their entire lives they weren’t used to being bullied.


You sound really positive. You either have a pretty good culture in your workplace, have a tremendous power to ignore bullshit, or aren’t seeing the avalanche of shit that is heading your way. How long have you been working?

I'm more depressed than i ever felt as a neet with no money. i got a rush of adrenaline thinking about just doing it. last time i felt that was when i was looking over a bridge trying to get courage to fcking jump off it

I'm 32 and moving out of my mom's house for the first time to transfer to a four year school (free ride I don't deserve but am happy to have in any case; I won't be working while finishing my degree)
0 job experience
wish I could larp as a 20 year old without being creepy and mega cringe, like the past 12 years of empty space didn't happen, and like I'm having the same college experience that everyone else is having
my life is never going to not feel shameful unless I either do something extraordinary (lol) or manage to go innawoods

>>716
just pretend you wanted a change of careers. plenty of mature age students go to college at your age.

>>725
how do i get out of this mindset where i strongly feel correctly that everyone would be extremely happy to see my dead with my brains blown out strewn

I start my first full time job tomorrow!

>>727
Congrats anon! You'll do great, you got this!

>>727
Good luck, anon! You can do it!!

>>6
>volunteering at hospitals and hostels
>Now I work as a programmer and web designer

>>20
>Got a job at a restaurant
>Quit that job to go to a sports bar to make more
>Quit that job and got a comfy IT job where I program all day

How do you people do this?! "So I decided to just leave and get a new better job lol" wtf

My work vacations end in a week and I will probably soon start to study for my drivers licence, I cant make food for myself and barely do anything but the world is gonna treat me like an adult (•᷄- •᷅ ;)

i got a job and after awhile, managed to score a boyfriend. things are going well for me but i still get bad urges. every time there's a minor inconvenience, my brain is convinced there's no reason for me to continue doing things. "if i lock myself back up, nothing bad will happen" type of mentality. although things are so positive in my life i still want to crawl back in and hide. what's wrong with me?

started applying for jobs *tumbs up*

>>737
i feel the same in some respects, sounds like fickle pain tolerance

>>738
WISH E LUCK GUS :*THUMBU**

i've been out of the hikki life proper since february 2023, i started working in a greenhouse, in march and april of 2024 i started making social connections, mid september 2024 i moved out of my parents house in bumfuck nowhere and started squatting in a city that has community i felt connected to. in december of 2024 i quit working to spent full time on community volunteering in social.cebtrrs and punk bars and fixing stuff in squats.

i feel like recently ive been falling back on hikki tendencies and dont really know what to do about it, I'd like it of i was more socially outgoing then i currently am.

I've been out of NEETdom for like a month and a half and I already want to go back. Not even working just studying so I don't get to make money.
Last week had 3 insane panic (???) attacks about how bad I am at socializing and how draining it is. This week I'm just smoking weeed and doing K while I'm at home and ignoring every responsanbility.
I just want to be pretty enough so I can whore myself online make actual good money and never have to leave my house if I dont want to.
Oh also really starting to convince myself I'm going to fail every classes because I'm too much of a fuck up to be able to study at home

>>751
Weed will just make everything worse. It exacerbates anxiety, depression, and brain frog. Quitting is hard when life is shit but if you can find something else to make you feel better it's worth it.
Moderate exercise can make you feel slightly better and increase energy levels and brain function, with the added benefit of guys liking girls with nice bodies; theoretically you could land a wageslave bf and avoid having to roll the dice trying to whore yourself out in a sea of young, attractive E-whores. This is assuming you can not be a lazy piece of shit and pitch in around the house/provide emotional support. Even if you think you're ugly you could still be someones type. Tangentially, there are tons of lonely, desperate guys out there.

The outside people are too cruel.

I hope I can gain some peacefulness

>>751
Study at college then uboanon, I used to sit in the community college library for hours and made it a rule that I couldn't have my laptop or phone out and could only listen to music while reading my textbooks and working on them.

>>763
I ended up passing anyways, I think the problem is not so much about "studying" but more about going to classes.

New semester tho let's hope it goes better! Tho from when I first posted to now I just lost every friend except for one lol. Getting to talk to people at uni again will totally be super nerve wrecking and make me feel like a turbo spergy.

Woke up early because of jet lag, wired off caffeine from two cups of strong black tea, and came across music I made some 4 years ago back when I was still NEET and had all day every day to sink into anything I wanted. Sometimes I really miss those times, although I think it's mainly nostalgia and I'm sure overall my life is better now.

How do you guys manage the feeling of wanting to withdraw from everything? Currently the only thing I have to cope is the idea that I'll quit after a year at my job and take a year or two off, but obviously that isn't sustainable forever. I feel like eventually I'm going to snap, it's like holding in a sneeze.

>>6
>how long has it been since you got out of it?
After five years of NEET-dom, I stopped being one around 2021 upon getting my first job in content moderation for a corporation. Entry-level drudgery. After that, I had another minimum wage gig in retail, but I then got lucky doing art-adjacent stuff with friends. It brings in pitiable sums but comes with "cultural capital" (according to an older and established artist throwing shade at me behind my back using that term) and free traveling/training opportunities that helped crack the NEET-induced shell. Really grateful for that.

>What are you working on right now?
Still getting freelance work from the above art stuff, but I'm taking things slow and not seeking commissions outside of that to resolve lingering issues from years of isolation and a lifetime of depression/depersonalization that prevent me from growing further and hinder remission. I dropped out of college and would like to work towards an undergraduate with the long-term goal of a Master's. Also learning programming on the side.

>Do you feel like going back to that life sometimes?
My answer here tangentially relates to the question of >>804 (how to deal with "wanting to withdraw from everything")–because whether working min-wage normie jobs or dodging minefields in the art world, I've never not felt this. I just feel it less when I'm happy, proud of something/someone, or hella busy.

In the normie jobs, art was my copium. Honestly, this was the peak in terms of personal catharsis. Upon accumulating enough resentment towards capitalism/direct supervisors for exploiting my time and labor, I'd spend my free time after work burning the midnight oil on pet projects/activities, one of them being the aforementioned art-friend-thing. Even if you ain't into ~le creative~ pursuits, I'm a fervent advocate for diving into any hobby/niche that encourages interactivity over spectatorship, the latter of which NEETs are experts at. Anything that births a document beyond your internal numbness or despair, or anything that alters how your body moves or feels. Dabble until something sticks, and then keep doing it as much as you can.

In regards to art, which requires a shit ton of networking beyond my ken, I've just embraced my reputation as a reticent wildcard and informed those who become close to me that I may occasionally disappear when in the dumps and not answer any calls or texts. Most of the time I'm just escaping at home. Besides personal endeavors that I yearn to realize, my loved ones pull me out of withdrawal from society–literally or figuratively, whether they know it or not, depending on our level of intimacy. During and after NEET-dom, I've lost many relationships with good people, but a surprising few have been patient and kind enough to stick around as I recover. If I didn't have these connections in my life, I'd still be locked up in that room. So, although easier said than done, find and keep friends of pleasure, virtue, or utility–preferably within the former two categories.

A podcast called Relentless Picnic ran a season devoted to Kaczynski and Thoreau, but their observations on the book Walden stuck with me. The book plugs a solitary lifestyle and was marketed by having been written by Thoreau in a similar isolated retreat while writing in the middle of woods…even if, in reality, he wasn't too far from a village where friends and his mom would come to visit, although it was a long trek for them and him. I guess one of my goals is to achieve a similar balance like Thoreau: to have the space to work on something with minimal interaction far from people I know, but close enough to visit within a day.

I was unemployed for a few years outside of high school, but due to financial pressures in my household I have had to get jobs. Since then I have had two jobs which includes the one I have currently that I'm about to be laid off from sometime in the first half of July. Definitely won't miss this shit, and if things go well I'll have enough money to relax for a few months, perhaps even the rest of this year if it comes to it.
Not interested in continuing to work shit jobs so I intend to study, even though I've been saying that for years now. I have the Security+ certification for IT work, though I didn't have success previously when I applied for such jobs. I'm going to get the OSHA 10-Hour Construction/General Industry certifications to open some doors into blue collar work. Also intend on getting the CCNA certification as a way to break into IT work as well.

I like having the freedom to chill at home and do whatever I want, but I know it hasn't been sustainable, and I do have hopes and dreams for myself.

i escaped neetdom after 7 years and am doing better way better than most people my age. feeling like when you beat a game on hardcore difficulty tbh since nobobdy really helped me, my parents had given up and were weirded out when i somehow started doing things. normalfags know i'm odd/autistic but nobody thinks i just jerked off and played video games for a decade. i just started from the bottom with zero skill (can't drive, can't socialize, no resume). faked the resume and got some bottom of the barrel part time job for teens/drug addicts nobody wanted to do (hence why i got hired). did that for a few months, then realized this wouldn't work out. it made me think and realize my best chance to make it was to keep going after jobs nobody wanted (at least for a certain time) because a bigger job market would allow my fake resume to go unnoticed/unquestionned. did some serious research, in my region specialized technicians (hvac, elevator, industrial, etc…) were in very high demand with a lot of turn over/retirement. joined a program to become one of the above, "graduated" (it's like less than a year or a year paid but the diploma you get isn't really a degree). started searching for jobs with a fake profile claiming i used to work in x, y or z jobs/fields before and decided to start over in a different field for more stability. lied about durations to make it seem full. added internships in it and pretended some were more than internships and i actually worked there for like a few months because the boss was cool with me. put a shit ton of phone numbers/e-mails of people i were just extremely nice tos o that they can "attest" that i got a "degree" and experience". somehow this worked. shit tier gigs where i got exploited and couldn't do shit right. eventually lucked out and work now in a very niche field but super high pay (i make around the same as an engineer). now i have my own car that i fix myself, that job, and i live on my own. but i'll never get a wife/gf or start being normal. from what i gathered it takes a lot of lying, networking (being nice to people and rendering small services) and strategy (focusing on niches with high demand/high turnover rates).

it's actually NOT that rare because i also have a friend i helped out after escaping NEETdom (his case was way worse) who is now also on his way to do very well in IT/cybersecurity. and from both our cases what i can tell made the real difference is just opportunities depending on geography.

>>817
forgot to mention. the point of doing a program/internship in a high demand field is to give you multiple advantages. first of all you're going into a field where the chances of getting hired are higher than the norm. secondly, saying you joined a program/whatever in a totally different field helps if you have no actual experience (or very little) because they do not give a fuck about your experience in a field unrelated since you can't translate those skills to your new field. they won't even bother calling to see if you actually worked there. they'll care morea bout some internship or temp job you did in the field they care about and will check that.

don't blindly pick the fields i listed if you have nothing to lose, it's highly dependant on your location (and sometimes it's just luck).

Escaped for 9 years and now I'm back. Some wild stories there but yep that's the way it is.

Feels like we just live with our afflictions forever, only temporarily pushing them down but never really fixing them proper. I laugh at how naive I was in those moments where it seemed like this type existence was so far away and behind me. Maybe I got too careless and complacent but my canonical recount is that I did everything I could to keep the dream alive. If I'm lying to myself I will never know.

My main point is that I'm personally shocked at how far someone can come only for none of it to mean anything. Reminds me of that one song.

>>822
Let's not be fatalistic for no reason. I'm sure you didn't leave those 9 years with nothing. It's not abnormal after a decently long period of employment to be unemployed for some time after, especially nowadays where NEETdom is way more common than it used to be just a few years ago. Hell, a lot of normies out there I see/know have long periods of unemployment as well.

People don't change, they just become more of who they really are. Temporarily gaining the strength to stray away from one's nature always involves the same thing, a lot of suffering. Personally the moment I truly left NEETdom, I never went back. Because the reason I left it was because of immense pain/anguish that made me genuinely see suicide as some kind of mercy killing for myself. It was around 3 weeks of pure hell during which sleeping felt like heaven because of the relief. Can't even explain why, it just happened at some point, my brain had enough. When I start to "slip" back into the old life too much or get comfortable, I start remembering or even getting a slight sense of what that experience was, and correct the course back to normalcy. My nature didn't change, but I self induced some kind of watch dog I guess, that forces me to stay at a certain level inside the realm of normalcy, beyond just basic employment.

You're not doomed.

>>823
Well you know, being unemployed again is only symbolic. The main issue is that I've seen too much of life, now. As a young shut-in you don't know anything about anything, while your peers keep lapping you, learning about what the breadth of life has to offer. I learned about these things too, and I should say maybe even in more ways than the average person would. We as hopeless NEETs secretly believe that there is something better waiting for us out there. But what happens when you've already been to the other side and seen that there is no escape from how you really feel about life? Living on your mother's good graces in a room or comfortable in your own mansion, you are a mere mortal trapped inside of your body and mind. I am convinced that if the meekest of the meek were able to ascend to being the emperor of the universe, they would come to the same types on conclusions. The change can't be superficial. The change can only happen when you change what's inside. But how? In this way I don't believe escaping NEETdom can be the primary goal if you really want to feel better in life and have it last.

What you described is strikingly similar to my experience as well, but only for the inertia phase of the plan as opposed to the maintenance after I escaped. It slowly bubbled up after a few years and by the end I was regularly self-harming to the point of giving myself scars on my face, so yes finally being able to break free felt real good at the time. Anyhow, I believed that I could trust it to be self-sustaining past that point and that might have been my mistake. But that doesn't even matter. I've seen life and I no longer believe in having a place in it, sadly. This could have been 19 years and the conclusion would have been the same.

Maybe I should have just taken those anti-depressants after all, huh. Maybe my hand will be forced soon. Sucks be a mental cripple if that's really what it is, but what other choice can I make now?

>>824
The number one error is believing there is a way to solve either ourselves or the hand we've been dealt. It's not what I had in mind when I left NEETdom, I knew it was over no matter what. I simply wanted to reach a state of maintenance in which I would at least not be decaying, both physically and mentally, and having to deal with the aftermath of said decay? which is feeling like you're in hell. That's it.

If that was familiar to you, I'm sure you understand the difference between not being happy in life and feeling like you're in hell. Normalfags aren't the way they are because of different experiences. Trying to be like them (at least the ones most NEETs idealize, the genuinely happy/content/unaware normalfags, not the majority too unaware to even know better) is like attempting to life like a horse to eventually turn into one.

I told you anon, there is no change, there is no hope of changing anything, neither ourselves or the world. Ultimately our feelings towards the universe should be total indifference, regardless of our experiences. If you're depressed and "tried everything" as you claimed you have, unless you're lying to yourself and others, just give up on that and seek mere maintenance to avoid unecessary anguish, because we're going to be stuck here for a while.

Biggest error a lot of NEETs make when reaching normalcy is thinking they're now normal and thus, start to value what normaloids value. You attempt to emulate them and fall into despair realizing what they care about holds no meaning to you, and the way they view things make no sense to you. Horse analogy, once again.

Just maintenance anon, it's all mere maintenance.