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/comp/ - Computers and Technology

Computers, Software, and Technology
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Posting works again.

File: 1374032376623.png (176.36 KB, 377x377, 1368759703818.png)

 No.292

Cringeworthy/funny/horrifying computer stories, such as times when you were using the computer and fucked shit up, had a computer that was just already fucked, or someone else fucked shit up.
I have one, it's not that great though.
>childhood friend has a decent laptop, sometimes go on it when I'm hanging at his house
>he's really nice but has the computer skills and common sense of a potato
>managed to coax him into using chrome which has autofill urls
>every time I type a letter there's a shitty porn site that pops up in the suggestions
>he's downloading porn too
>thinks he's being sneaky about it
>sigh
>flash forward a couple months
>"hey X can I check my email" "sorry bruh, my computer locked me out"
>idontknowwhatiexpected.jpg
>"oh that's fine man, i can take a look at it if you want!"
>friend suddenly looks terrified like I'm gonna look at his porn folder or some shit
>thinks I'm aiming to blow his cover
>"n-no thanks chewky it'll be fine"
>"i'm pretty sure it's not. i can get my laptop and–"
>"n-NO NO IT'S OKAY IT JUST KINDA…has to chill for a bit i've been usin it too much. just let it sit and itll be fine i read that online"
>mfw

 No.293

File: 1374034081153.jpg (56.15 KB, 500x500, DistressedReimu.jpg)

OH OH OH I REMEMBER ONE I REMEMBER ONE:
>Some neighbours adquired a pc and internet for the first time in their lives
>It stops working correctly
>They call me because I'm the kid that's good with computers
>"Ok, just let me check, it's probably something you downloaded accident-"
>Check the browser history: girls mud wrestling and stuff like that
>The guy says he doesn't know anything about that, that he only searchs for italian stuff and nothing like that

It's not exactly a funny story but damnit, mud wrestling? Search for some better porn.

 No.294

File: 1374036072925.jpg (6.55 KB, 222x321, 1373932930505.jpg)

i've told this one too many times but

>browsing /x/ on 4chon for a while

>saving creepy shit for creepy folder
>save a particular image of creepy courage the cowardly dog's "youre not perfect" statue zalgofied
>accidentally right click on it and select an option i didnt see
>eh nothing popped up so its fine
>stay up until 3
>well time for bed
>close all my windows
>the desktop is the fucking picture
>accidentally changed desktop to the picture
>didn't realize this immediately, shit entire castle

another one

>be freshman in tiny English class of 9

>everyone in computer room
>researching paper or some shit
>girl in front row leaps from her chair and covers computer screen with a yelp
>mfw me and everyone else saw that she was bombarded with porn ads by clicking on some website

we've all been there though. still raffed

 No.295

File: 1374043175190.png (307.15 KB, 450x342, booooo.png)

>>294
Hoo boy I hate the porn ad spam. It's always terribly anal/hardcore scenes and shady advertisements for mail order wives. Who the hell do they think they're fooling anyway?
"Shit man, I was looking for a recipe for my sick grandma, but FUCK THAT! HOT SINGLES IN MY AREA WHO LOVE ANAL?!"

 No.299

File: 1374341458064.jpg (193.42 KB, 1324x1360, 1284044393280.jpg)

My youngest sister used the family laptop for a school project once.
She somehow changed the file extension of EVERYTHING to .mp3

She is well known in our family for braking everything she touches.

 No.300

I burnt a CPU computer like 8 years ago and I don't even know how.

 No.301

File: 1374379183960.png (49.26 KB, 444x287, what.png)

>>299
How did
but how
she didn't
?????/ what
Did she download some kind of music file to mp3 thing and it went haywire and turned everything into .mp3? Holy shit.

 No.302

File: 1374380342261.jpg (3.59 KB, 118x126, 1360789859544.jpg)

>>301

It's called 'The magic of the non-l77t ones'. They can do almost everything a l77t person can't, at least easily, don't even knowing how they did it.

 No.303

File: 1374508034231.jpg (22.63 KB, 300x300, headphexp.jpg)

>tired of studying
>unplug headphones, put on some uptempo shit
>turn volume up
>all the way
>and some more after that
>dance
>finish dancing
>read a book or something
>go to sleep

>next day

>tired and out of it
>play some wake up stuff
>loud but not aggressive
>plug in headphones

 No.304

>>301
She probably tried renaming a file with a .mp3 extension while she had several things highlighted.

 No.308

File: 1375401224049.jpg (281.37 KB, 599x780, 1356068579220.jpg)

>>303
I know your pain. Speaking of shitty sound experiences…
>fan pooted out on "good" laptop, using crap laptop w/ broken screen and no battery in meantime (sister threw cup noodles on it)
>appears to be decent laptop at first, play some old vidya on it
>one night the sound starts getting garbled
>figure its the emulator, toy around with it and it goes out
>sigh and turn off computer
>BLARING WINDOWS LOG OFF SOUND IN HEADPHONES
>next day, sound drivers are completely gone; "no audio output detected"
>wont respond when i download drivers, update everything, summon satan via african chant, etc.
>find out that this particular model series had hundreds of catastrophic motherboard failures due to hp's special brand of shit engineering
>all models eventually lose complete use of their speakers and end up burning themselves from the inside out
>wellshit.jpg
>buy cheapass usb soundcard on amazon
>next day, sound goes back on
>fuck
>it went out again today

 No.309

File: 1375578854289.png (563.7 KB, 599x780, YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED T….png)

But wait, there's more!
>go to fix laptop with pooted fan
>take out optical drive and hard drive (which is weirdly small), go to unscrew keyboard as the procedure goes
>theres no keyboard screw
>wtf
>pick through a little more
>theres crumbs in places no standard user could get crumbs in
>plenty of screws are missing
>harddrives got greasy shit on it
>cant even get to the fucking heatsink or fan, lord knows what happened to them
>remember this one guy who "fixed" it awhile ago after the cover came loose and severed a cable
>he was the last one to touch it
>
>
>
>THERE IS NO FUCKING STOPPING THIS PAIN TRAIN NOW
>FROM YOUR VEINS I WILL GAIN SUSTENANCE, MR SHADY COMPUTER DUDE

 No.310

File: 1375728009008.jpg (6.58 KB, 100x100, lunix mustard raze.jpg)

My history of doing stupid thing with linux:

>install linux over everything, wiping all existing partitioning

>realize wine can't run everything

after a few days
>repartition with dad's help
>reinstall windows
>install mint, setting up dual boot
>start installing shit
>dropbox conflicts with MATE
>np np and ok to all
>reboot
>tfw no GUI
>reinstall the whole OS
(i really hope they fix this. a distro for beginners should have PERFECT repos without non-existing conflicts)

>decide to upgrade

>don't have a computer with dvd writing abilities anymore
>as such, no way to write a dvd for the newest release
>np i can just change repos to get the newest stuff
>results in barely bootable system with gnome 3 fallback and an almost working toolset (didn't have the skills to use CLI tools then)
>gg

>decide to swap distros to manjaro

>cd's only have space for minimal install cd
>challenge accepted
>installation goes smoothly thanks to graphical installer
>boot to CLI
>np np i know gnome
>install the packages
>boot
>still no GUI
>wut.jpg

I later realized x-window manager is important if I want to have any windows.

>get everything running well, even wifi (had some driver problems initially)

>omg i wana get BLEEDING EDGE
>because it wrecked all before, i know changing repos to arch linux works
>doesn't boot anymore

>np now i can install gentoo


>5 days later

>no sound
>gg

I'm now running arch with "no problems" (only small things to do). Also windows in dual boot so I can play games. The only regret I have is not writing down how to set up wireless drivers.

 No.316

File: 1376641565827.gif (1.89 MB, 236x224, 136485942183.gif)

>omg i got virus
>shut down computer in panic
>press button
>not shutting down
>press button harder
>not shutting down
>press button harder
>not shutting down
>press button harder
>not shutting down
>press button harder
>break button

 No.317

>>316

computer does not have feelings and cannot comprehend urgency, be kind to butan

 No.319

File: 1377911650086.jpg (92.79 KB, 400x398, 1366247781401.jpg)

I promote the use of GNU/Linux, I even give some advice about it; I tell which distros are good, what are the pros and cons of each one I know, and yet I didn't switch over to linux or tried it more than shitty ubuntu.
Most of my advice comes from what I've read on /g/ or on the web.

Anyway I'm currently saving money to buy a better computer and switch for a fucking time, so I have more solid fundaments and I can enjoy my freedom.

I'm sorry.

 No.330

>310

>Install Linux only to realize wine doesn't run everything


Happened to me. Been meaning to reinstall a dual-boot on my hand-me-down machine, but haven't got on it yet…

 No.331

File: 1380583027808.jpg (816.31 KB, 973x1400, 1276320557953.jpg)

"now what's the difference between the 500 jiggerbyte memory and the other memory?"

"anniviruses? I don't need that. comcast uses norton on their network."
>did you install it on your computer?
"…why do I have to do that??"

"I want a gaming computer off the shelf that is better than my cousin's $1400 setup. oh and it has to be under $300 and include MS Office and a printer and a 32" screen."

"I need a cable for my equipment."
>ok cool, what do you have and what do you want to do with it
"………… I dunno. why don't YOU know what I have? Just give me the cable I need."

"WHY DON'T U HAVE ANY PINK COMPUTERZ? XDD GAWD WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OMGS"

>err day

>my countenance

stay neet, kids

 No.332

File: 1380873965711.jpg (30.88 KB, 590x332, watamote2-1.jpg)

When I was a kid I downloaded a huge trojan virus on Windows 98 and the hacker had full-access to the computer. Every now and then he'd flip the screen upside down, rotate it, play stupid sounds, move the mouse, type random shit, remap keys, and do whatever to play fucking mind games. I was only 13 and it freaked the shit out of me. He must've been pissing his pants laughing while I desperately tried telling people in caps my computer was possessed. Eventually he got bored of that and dropped the computer into a fullscreen chat that couldn't be escaped. At that point I was just mad and called him all the words my mother got mad at me for using, then hard shutdown the computer.

My brother reformatted it the next day.

 No.333

File: 1380879973265.jpg (64.26 KB, 500x438, 1380704155532.jpg)

>>331
>"I need a cable for my equipment."
>ok cool, what do you have and what do you want to do with it
>"………… I dunno. why don't YOU know what I have? Just give me the cable I need."

oh my god you cannot be serious

 No.334

>>333

it would be so cool if that story were untrue

but alas

 No.343

File: 1383194316684.png (31.75 KB, 383x260, i will murder you and hide….png)

>at college
>too lazy to lug Compaq brick to school, use school computer
>~SOOPER ENCRYPTUD LOCKED DOWN~ windows 7 install with a rusty lock on the cases is the only form of security
>people have their resumes and SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS saved to the fucking desktop
>all social media sites have autofill passwords saved on them
>"how do you open settings google chrome" is the most searched item
>people still wonder why they get hacked
Community college. That's all I have to say.

 No.345

File: 1383508823042.png (19.41 KB, 663x329, You fucked up again.png)

>>343

Take their data and sell it to google to get money of their stupidness. Hack their facebutts and change all settings into stupid things.

>2012 + 1

>still using Facebook
>using facebook in first instance

Take that document that is in the desktop, change it for a bat file that contains some batch prank like

>@echo off

>title ANONYMOUS VIRUS 2.88.11.32.56.20.5
>echo. Deleting all data of this computer. Enjoy your fucking aids, you little shit.
>shutdown -s -t 3 -c YOU FUCKED UP AGAIN
>echo. YOU FUCKED UP AGAIN
>echo. YOU FUCKED UP AGAIN
>echo. YOU FUCKED UP AGAIN
Note: Paste a good number of times the YOU FUCKED UP AGAIN but let the "Deleting all data" part be seen. Play with the code, you can add many things as you like.
>pause>nul
>cls
>echo.
>goto exit

Then change the icon of that file for a normal .txt, with the same name. I also suggest changing the look of the cmd to red/green text so it seems more 1337 and you scare the plebs.

Enjoy your supah hax. Have fun.

 No.346

File: 1383511776087.gif (165.06 KB, 500x544, feel bad.gif)

Well I may or may not have accidentally deleted some program files the other day

 No.347

>>346
Can you do a rollback?
I'm not entirely sure what that even is, but assuming your computer made a checkpoint before you deleted what seems to be important files, you should be able to load from that point. Or at least one not too far behind it.

 No.348

File: 1383522212410.gif (504.65 KB, 500x270, kiss.gif)


 No.349

File: 1383522309506.gif (935.4 KB, 500x270, kiss you.gif)

>>347
thanks

 No.350

File: 1383619380076.gif (991.7 KB, 500x465, nnnainime.gif)

>>348
>>349
Aw yeah, a kissu from Booger.
Glad some thing I read about once somewhere helped.

 No.351

>>345
I just saw this now. I love you so much chsr.

 No.352

>>345
>>351
M-me too, though knowing how silly I tend to be in committing revenge I'd probably make some stupid Harlan Ellison references and ruin it all…

 No.353

>A few years ago
>Got new laptop
>Attempt to install Debian
>Hard drive is fucking not there according to computer
>Install Fedora
>Boots only into a Grub prompt
>Live USB doesn't work
>fug dis
>Install ubuntu
One of these days I'm doing to install a better distro, once I figure out what went wrong.

 No.354

File: 1384921440772.jpg (46.44 KB, 326x273, Horo_install_gentoo.jpg)

>>353
I suggest Gentoo.

>>352
>>351
So, ok. Less love, more words. Did you do it? It worked? Have you heard any comment about it from another person? any lulz? any variation to the .bat file?

I wish I could do this to some plebs…

 No.355

File: 1385782821540.jpg (129.58 KB, 599x780, B A K A S H I N J I K U ….jpg)

>have shitty htc one v smertphone for a couple years
>suddenly it takes an obscene amount of effort to charge
>if i don't hold it off the empire state building standing at a 45 degree angle while chanting an african prayer it doesn't charger
>figure it's just the charger
>go through like 8 chargers, decide it's the phone that's fucked up
>it just barely werks for awhile if i fucking tie the charger into place
>suddenly battery starts to go
>short circuits somehow
>won't give an accurate reading no matter how many times i calibrate it
>won't hold charge
>get real buttmad
>try and take battery out
>the back of the fucking phone doesn't even come off for battery replacement, only the sd card slot
>buttmad intensifies, pry off some of the screws
>one of them is stripped
>can't get past this fucking stripped screw
>therefore can't get to fucking battery
>mfw
What, did they think no one was ever going to have to replace the battery ever? This thing could be leaking battery acid into the deepest crevices of my phone's circuitry and I couldn't do shit about it because of HTC's brilliant game plan. I have really important information on there and I can't get to it on my own. I'd have to take it in to some ~smrtphone expert~ or a store or something and it'd cost an arm and a leg. Fuck, this is truly the dumbest phone in existence. Even the shittiest flipphones in existence have easily removable batteries unlike this literal bucket of bloody acne pus. Trying to take care of this thing is like waking up in the night to a hooker giving a dirty sanchez to a drug dealer.

 No.356

File: 1386005874241.jpg (47.86 KB, 681x511, unbreakabl_nokia_rei.jpg)

>>355

I didn't finalize yet, so excuse the absence of the right eye.

 No.357

>>355
No, generally they just want you to send it to them and pay buttloads of money for the replacement.

 No.358

>>355
>literal bucket of bloody acne pus
To be fair, you probably should have returned it as soon as you so the bloody acne pus. Or as soon as you realized it was a bucket, instead of a phone.

 No.360

File: 1387768903386.png (47.76 KB, 143x145, Untitled.png)

>break backspace key
>spend months using the back arrow and then delete to fix errors
>too poor to fix

 No.361

File: 1387769347843.jpg (8.26 KB, 300x168, oujyhrtgvfdcs.jpg)

>be 14
>trying to install a yaoi dating sim
>says i have to switch my system locale to japanese
>change keyboard instead
>everything i type turns to kanji gibberish
>can't type in google for help
>call friend on skype
>she laughs for like five minutes and googles it for me
>mfw

 No.380

File: 1389431283614.jpg (184 KB, 680x1487, fucker.jpg)

>Mother calls and ask if I can fix ancient 10+ years notebook
>K, mom, let me see what I can do
>Turn it on and wait for the boot
>shit is not booting.
>not even BIOS is loading up
>Okay, if the hardware is well, the machine works, it's on, and the BIOS does not boot, something is wrong with BIOS. Considering this shit is older than booger, it must be the BIOS' battery. Gonna check out and discard retarded theory if I'm wrong
>Start unscrewing
>holy shit I've never seen so many screws
>still unscrewing
>35 screws in my table and I'm still unscrewing
>fuck this shit, these fucking chinese people just inserted as much screws as they could just for fun and to shit somebody's day ARGHH I REALLY HOPE THEY GET AIDS FOR THIS.
>There are hidden screws and you have to figure out where they might be
>Finally, after 3 hours of painful unscrew, everything is off.
>When I try to open if, there are more hidden scews
>I fucking want to kill someone
>FUCK THIS SHIT, I realize I can go the other way and through the keyboard and figure out what is fucking wrong.
>hate myself for being so stupid and for not trying this before
>More hidden screws
>Last 2 screws are incredibly tight and impossible
>I manage to take one off before the tip of my screwdriver breaks.
>What have I done to deserve this shit?
>Using everything I can to try to unscrew that fucking bitch
>everything either breaks or does not work
>I realize the whole machine is just attached to that fucking slut
>even the underside, where I started from
>can't do absolutely nothing, and brute force won't work because it's attached to the motherboard and some circuits
>spent 2 days trying to open it
>nothing is fucking working
>Can't be opened
>Can't confirm if theory is right or wrong
>can't fix anything
>buttfrustrated and mad

I need a special screwdriver from an exact seize to try to move it, if it even moves. Seriously, what were these chinese cunts thinking when they assembled this crap?
Over 40 screws, half of them hidden in places where they won't even work, and last but not least, that tight motherfucker little cancer where THE FUCKING WHOLE PIECE OF CRAP is amalgamated.
Like, seriously??? I really hope they lose a finger or two next time they make something like this, if they're still alive.

 No.383

>>380
Notebooks/laptops are to be thrown away after they exceed their life expectancy tbh

They're literally made to be pieces of shit to fix on purpose

 No.384

File: 1389488735496.jpg (38.75 KB, 500x281, G_humour_richard_stallman_….jpg)

>>383
>Discarding notebook just because BIOS' battery ran out
>Discarding 40GB of extra data storage I could use
>not wanting ancient computer to feel like a pro-1337 h4x0r
>implying you could install gentoo and it would work 11/10
>implying mother just wants it to write her book and articles, not to hax the NSA
>implying it still works perfectly to accomplish the purpose she needs it for

That notebook just requires to reinstall the OS and shit would work perfectly well.

 No.404

>>361
あんたばか

 No.483

>few years back at school
we had all the jazz your own username and password
>used to change my password everyweek for the fun
>got exams coming up
>dont know my password anymore
>not asking to get it changed
>my passwords were stuff like adolfaboartedhiscock - teachername+cancerousfaggot
>used some others kid username and password to make my exams

gg



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