Anon, thats terrible.
Also are you a boy or girl?
>I really hate this guys, what should I do about it? I'm to scared to ask anyone else for help. I don't want to hurt kids…
Dreams and fantasies are far removed from actually acting something out. Maybe it's the taboo thing that turns you on rather than girls themselves. Try coming to terms with it and accept that sometimes you will have fucked up thoughts and that this is alright, without actively/consciously trying to fantasize about it.