On october 5, 2012 I tried to kill myself. I would collect and stashpile cocktails of drugs for this very moment. I took 250mg of hydrocodone, 1080mg of carisoprodol, 200mg Valium, 10mg Xanax, and that was enough to kill me. In case it wasn't, I had about twice that amount stashed anyway.
I ate them all and used takka to chase it. Then just put some iced tea into a cup, and was stipping iced tea by the computerside writing my note. It started kicking in and i dont think i even started writing. However, I DID try to lock my door, but the door is wierd so you have to lift it with about two tonnes of force to get the lock to click, and so i fucked that up.
About two hours later, i woke up in the ER die. All i remember was tunnel vision and a few things being passed around me. "We got him" "Should have left him dead [in clearly my stepdads voice] crying and i bent over to the doctor and muttered "naloxone"?
Now imagine a blink of a second.
I was now in my moms room, thirteen people surrounding me, my arms folded as I laid there, totally fucked up. They were all there to see if I was alive. Wbich I was. But Im so sure I died.
Even though it probably was a really weird thing to experience unless you've been out cold for a long period of time b4 it will sorta feel like you died. The time skip is really disorienting but gives you a sort of post modernist perspective on life
Several times. Once from drug overdose and once when I was a child from an deadly illness where I laid unconscious in a fridge and my heartbeat was a straight line for a short time. I have no memory of it at all as I was too young but I heard many stories about how there was a great storm and when it stopped a rainbow appeared and everyone prayed and at that moment I healed from the brink of death, some would say this makes me a shaman in some cultures.
The one from drug overdose I remember vividly. August 2012. It began when I took too much 2c-t-7 and after intense psychedelic colorful patterns took over my field of vision delirium set in, imaginary flies everywhere around me. I believed I was dead already and a ghost. In the ER I battled imaginary demons and spoke in tongues repeating letters and digits, saw a demon with the head of a man, a cat, and a frog. Sounds began to echo loudly and darkness took over as I went through a tunnel seeing past lives and traumas all come together as one. I saw the other side, brighter than anything I have ever seen, beneath the sky a cat like being looking down at me with love. Suddenly I got pulled back in to my old body and found myself being injected with stuff. I recall wishing I had stayed there.
I haven't, but that page from Nemo (which is fantastic btw) reminds me of HP Lovecraft's Dreamquest to Unknown Kadath, which is a must-read for anyone into mystic stuff. It's honestly far better than his cthulu mythos, it's just not as memeable.
Not yet but I hope I die this month.