>be 14>new girl comes to school and introduces herself to class>she sits down and I realize how gay I am for her>follow her after class>pretty sure she called me a dyke>next day>shopping with best friend>hear something down an alley>it's sh

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advice thread 03/14/14 (Fri) 04:34:35 No.2636

>be 14
>new girl comes to school and introduces herself to class
>she sits down and I realize how gay I am for her
>follow her after class
>pretty sure she called me a dyke
>next day
>shopping with best friend
>hear something down an alley
>it's shrek
>we follow shrek in hope for layers, or possibly a whole onion
>find shrek, he says "What are you starin' at?"
>before I can speak new girl tells me to get away from shrek
>start tripping balls
>a magical ogre takes me to her apartment
>I wake up, she is there. So is my friend. So is Shrek.
>shrek hands me an onion and tells me I can make a wish on it and become a magical ogre
>I remember when Shrek taught me about being beautiful on the inside
>Still have onion
>Want to be magical ogre and be beautiful like Fiona, but what do I wish for?
>still undecided

Anonymous 03/14/14 (Fri) 07:39:11 No.2637

File: 1394782751859.jpg (65.81 KB, 354x361, 134952113216.jpg)

I'd tell you to kill yourself for entertaining the idea of choosing hate and death over Shrek for even a second, but you're already dead m8