I agree that there are more important factors than just physical attraction when searching for a mate. But if you plan to be sexual with them and you don't find them at least adequately attracted to them, there maybe some problems. I don't see a problem with people having attraction to certain physical traits or niches so long as that is not the ONLY thing they are looking for.
My tastes have definitely changed over the years and I'm definitely not as picky. But I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone I found unattractive, physically or emotionally. That's stupid and just asking for trouble.
((Correct me if I'm misinterpreting what your saying though.))
But it would be interesting if a thread were started about off puts and turn offs.
I am asexually attracted to some people who exhibit some of the following characteristics:
>if female, not too feminine
>if male, not masculine at all
>(i.e. androgyny leaning towards the feminine)
>quiet, contemplative disposition
>very styled or very unkempt and wild hair, if short
>well-dressed, in black or uncommon clothing
>sense of style
>sense of humor, either a soft wit or a sharp >sarcasm
>slight or no makeup (I only see stuff like
lipstick, that black crap people put around their eyes, and nail polish - everything else is lost on me)
>the eyes must be doubly-striking, and work well combination with the eyebrows, brow shape, etc. to make up for the fact that I never look closely at them (I don't know anyone's eye color but my own)
>slight musculature at most
>small physical faults (conventionally attractive perfection is pretty off-putting)
An ideal "mate" would probably have a majority of the above traits. Most important would be their sense of humor and style. I guess I want someone I can look good and talk well with.
I'm not put-off by much other than a complete lack of hygiene and fatness.
I've seen plenty of conventionally ugly people who I thought were absolutely gorgeous, but fatness for some reason I just can not work with.
What I was saying is, that having a really defined list of qualities a partner must have is beyond me. I kind of got used to the fact that people are very different, and attractiveness can manifest in many conventional as well as unusual ways.
Basically, I don't have a detailed and nitpicky list [like >>2740], and frankly think having one is unhealthy. Or at least I can't understand.
The only things that would really put me off sexually are fatness, dark skin tones and lack of hygiene. I could still love such a person in a platonic way but not physically.
I'm sorry for my bad grammar, I feel horrible today and my mind is floating somewhere else.
Hey it's no big deal. I can relate on having a bad day as well. But it could always be worse.
Well, I suppose answering that now would be biased as I am in love with someone right now, but I guess the only qualities I really must have are intelligence and tolerance. Absolutely no physical preferences [apart from the three things that put me off not being there] and no specific personality trait preferences.
I guess I do have a standard of some sort, but it's so broad that I just can't call it a "physical and psychological description of an ideal mate".
It's a list of qualities that I like, not a list of what a person must
have. (My best friend doesn't even have an eighth of them, for instance.)
My must-have list would be what I said here:>Most important would be their sense of humor and style.
Is there really nothing you might especially like about a person?
If we ever make contact with an alien race and it turns out that they have no sense of humor I would have absolutely no regrets in seeing them wiped out or enslaved.
I need a mighty warrior who will lead my armies for the glory of my Empire
i'm 5'7 but i would love someone just a little taller than me. with a similar style / sense of fashion and makeup, and longish hair if possible. I really want that thing were you can put ur head underneath their neck and hug as an adorable couple <333 other things..
>can't be fat or gross
>easy to talk to
>similar sense of fashion
>intricate personality (if you confuse me, I love you)
>able to laugh at self and me too
>kind, sweet, sensitive, but can also stand up for the people he loves
>has opinions, isn't afraid to share them but is open minded
>hot body, likes to cuddle, soft skin
>strong enough to lift me up and lay together
>gives me emotional support when i feel like giving up
my friend brenden (pic) is like that, so dreamy but we don't have that love connection. his personality is to die for but i can only think of him as a friend. still, some of my other guy friends are super cute too. like this one cute boy with long brown hair i see walking sometimes, he always looks like he's in a daze or thinking about something. i do love people who tend to care deeply about things rather than just brush them off, but if they have an especially weird reaction to something that just makes me interested even more!!
Probably. I don't really believe in ideal mates, and I think the idea of an ideal mate actually cheapens the diversity of positive traits that you can find in people, but I'm just going to describe what I've been looking for more or less years.
Someone I can relate to but still find interesting and unique in their own fashion, someone who's understanding of my occasional bitterness and seemingly cruel/silly sense of humor, someone whose view of the world and emotions I can understand and sympathize with, someone who likes me. Someone who isn't a total burnt-out hunk of shit or spacy fuck who I could experiment with drugs with would be nice.
Physically I tend toward wanting someone either about as tall or shorter than me and somewhat feminine, though I don't seem to deal well with most people of particularly "girly" temperament. It seems like most of the girls I've found really attractive have been boyish-looking, so I guess I just fall into preferring the middle variety. Also, a big butt would be nice, though not grossly big; just plush, y'know? And green eyes are nice. Oh, and people much fatter than me just tend to gross me outAlso, asian or white preferably (eh, maybe Indian).
And my idea of mate is kinda fucked anyway; I don't really feel that romantic love that people talk about, though I do tend to idealize and obsess over certain people; in my own way, I love those I care about, and there isn't too much of a distinction between friends and people who I've dated the one or two of people in that last category that have existed. Come to think of it, it's probably pretty fortunate I don't get along with my family for that reason. Or maybe that's partly the reason why my sense of affection is fucked. Huh.
I wanna find a girl with mad brains and a bombastic attitude. A dude can work too but looks are more important with dudes in this case.