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/psy/ - Psychology

How does that make you feel?
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Hello /psy/. I have some pretty bad problems.

1 - I have no friends around and I feel alone and shitty. But I have no way of meeting people with the same or similar interests as me, as far as I can tell.

2 - I suppose I need to get out dating, but women I have seen just put me off like hell, I can't even say. I wonder what the point is. My parents want me to get married and all that shit, but I don't see any of this ever happening. I am a neurotic piece of shit who spends all his time working because he wants an excuse to not have to deal with other people and so have human contact.

I hope some of you can relate to these problems, or at least that you can give some advice. I'm just about ready to lose my mind over all this.


I envy you


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I don't really have any friends either, but it doesn't bother me at all. So as that seems to be your main source of unhappiness, I can give you advice on how to get rid of it.

This is not universal, and probably not what you're looking for as it won't help you find friends/a gf, but here goes anyways.

1 - Try to stop relying on other people to find happiness. Find your own entertainment, do things you enjoy, be it learning, creating, playing games or listening to music. Since you mentioned you don't exactly like dealing with people, why are you pushing yourself into it? It doesn't give you any enjoyment. Why would you want MORE of it? There's always communication online, which is much easier for someone like you, and there is much more variety to people you can meet. If you do find someone you genuinely enjoy talking to, keep doing it. Maybe meet them in person. If you don't, just don't. Same rule applies to both irl and online.

2 - No, you don't have to. No one has to. I saw a quote that's rather fitting for this - "relationships are like farts: if you have to force it, it's probably shit." and trust me, it's very accurate. DO NOT date someone you're not attracted to both physically and mentally. Don't settle for less, it's not worth it.


Do you even want to marry?
I'm not and I don't plan to become.
Working is a good thing. Get out once in a while. The nature heals the wounds of life.


I've done all that. I have the things I like, the books and the music I listen to, my writing and my music. But it's not enough anymore. I think I need someone to share them with. At least a girlfriend, someone intimate, you know.

And yeah, I think I do need to find someone. Maybe this sort of life really works for you, but it doesn't for me. I'm really getting pissed off. Part of it is biological - I need a sexual and emotional partner, and I feel increasingly frustrated and pathetic every day without one.

When I was a kid, I was that one who always got shoved to the side and ignored. I got used to this sort of treatment and eventually stopped caring. But if you've been through this sort of thing, you know how humiliating it is, and you might understand my desire to just be normal and forget about the past. And if I don't settle for someone, even a little bit, well… it won't go well for me, that's all I can say. I'm a pervert and a deviant, so I can't really expect the world to accommodate my needs. On the other hand, I understand what you're saying. I've tried settling once before, and it was a disaster.

I don't want to sound like I'm being contrary here, but this is a tough problem. It's like being chased by a bear to the edge of the cliff: either choice you make, you're fucked. I hope that doesn't sound too dramatic of an analogy.

No, man. Do not envy me. This is really not a good way to live.


Yeah, I work. I'd really be depressed if I didn't at least have my job. Work is the thing I'm falling back on, in fact: every time someone asks me why I don't have a girlfriend (usually one of my many meddling relatives) I tell them I'm too busy with work and my future plans.


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I understand, no worries. ^^
And yes, my childhood wasn't spectacular either. I was very emotional in my early teens, and it hurt quite a lot, but I sort of got used to it. Kind of like hearing the same sound for a couple of hours, the buzz of a fridge for exampe, your mind eventually cancels it out. So I put a lot of effort into focusing on the better things, sort of separating myself from the bad stuff. It comes naturally now.

If you insist that you must have someone there for you, okay. You said that people in your current environment repulse you. Do you ever go to places other than your work, or do you stay in all the time? Try changing your habits. If you like books, go to a library once in a week. If you like nature, go to a park every once in a while. Like music? Attend local events. Create a new habit in an environment that's fitting, and you'll eventually find people that share common interests with you.

I don't think you should look for a girlfriend right away. Just having a close friend would help quite a lot.


It's not just women in my current environment, it's in every environment. Currently I don't go anywhere other than work, but I've been around quite a lot, even to different cities and different countries. I've been to libraries and bookstores (some of my favorite places, in fact) and to clubs (which I'm never doing again.) I've never had any luck finding someone who appealed to me. I really don't know what it is. Their behaviors, their style, their bearing - there's always something there that just turns me off completely. I have no problem talking to women or even being friendly with them, that's one thing. But having an intimate relationship is completely different.

I probably should have brought up the fact that I'm into 2d. I've always escaped into books and games, ever since I was a kid. That's probably one of the reasons I am how I am now.

But I guess I could make some friends, sure. That couldn't hurt.

I appreciate the advice. I should probably talk to a professional about this, but I can't afford it and even if I could, he'd probably just throw some pills at me.



There are plenty of great people in history who've made there way through life by there own.

Do YOU want to be married or do you only want to make your parents and relatives satisfied?


I don't give a damn about my relatives or their expectations. I'm just talking about what I want.


Go to a Bar after works. Once you located your subject of desire ask if you could invite her/him for a drink.
Before doing that inform yourself about drinks and how they taste - this may help you to keep up the conversation and also to make a character profile.
Don't expect too much - some things need there time!


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>picking up girls at a bar
Oh god do people really do this and expect decent results?




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Meet girls just like you'd meet guys. We're regular human beings just like you, and if you prefer odd conditions to meeting girls, you're gonna end up with something odd. Meet them while doing stuff you like. Through friends you already have. Idk man, just don't go for girls who'd go out with a stranger they met at a bar or a club. It's a big reason why there are so many firm believers all girls [no exception] are bitches and whores.


yeah! like i meet TONS of dudes when i go out to bdsm events!


Yeah, I'm not doing this.

But I don't know how to do this either.

I'm thinking of joining a political effort this fall, since things are heating up. Not with the Reps or Dems, though, because fuck them. Maybe I'll meet a strange third party type of girl out there.

My only other idea is a sports club of some kind. I really can't think of anything else. I'm not in school right now, so that's out, and I don't have any friends I maintain contact with enough for that to be a factor.


Is that even relevant?


sports - the solution for everything!

good luck op


Okay, I give up. Where the hell do you meet people? I have no idea what I'm doing.


What are your interests?

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