/psy/ - Psychology

is it safe to assume you're female identified?
honestly the way this society is, you'd probably benefit from being afraid of men. god forbid you put your trust into someone who ends up raping you later, its all your fault then for not watching who you socialize with.

but to be helpful:
are you able to at least talk to some men? what exactly makes you fear them? maybe you could try and get to know a male person online?

hello OP

I don't want to rape you

cordially,
penis-owner

Find A gay buddy, hang out with him for a while. You'll be used to guys in a sense, then move to someone straight but kind of feminine, then to a 'normal guy'.

Yes, I'm female. I can talk with men, but I still get really nervous when I see one looking at me. The afraid kind of nervous. Honestly if I were to befriend one I'd have to find one that is shorter than me, at lest to my shoulders and that's really not hard because I'm so tall. Still, though… ;-;

>>44
Well, that's certainly the most sexist thing I've read all day.

>>78 Right? Probably trolling.

>>37 OP, is it MEN that you're afraid of, or males in general? I won't pry, but I could probably help you better if I knew your general age, too~


[Picture un-related. Thought it might make OP smile anyways]

>>78
>>82
i'm not trolling tho i admit my sentence wasn't clear
i meant it as in the way society sees it, they will blame her for trusting the man in the first place, if he were to turn out to not be who he seemed

there is so much "advice" for the victims to stop rape and a lot of it is "be careful of who you trust/bring a male friend you trust to protect you/dont interact with men ever in your life"
im sorry for the way the sentence sounded, previously.

>>82
Honestly, I'm afraid of just boys in general.(of course not like, ten year olds, but, yeah.) I guess the most plausible explanation is just the feeling of being stared at drives me fucking INSANE, especially if it's an older guy, which happens 900% of the time. ;-;

>>86
Ether find some guy who is blind, or you could just dress like this.

Do you have any reason why you are afraid of men?

>>86
Well first off, I would start by breaking down any gender-specific rules you might have stuck in your head. You can do this BEFORE going out and trying to conquer your fear, and it'll prep you in a more important way then you can imagine.

Now, I'm not saying that you're some terrible stereotyper, but psychologically speaking, (and anthropologically speaking) everyone has traits that they attribute to certain people; things that they unknowing, naturally assume about, say, men.

Some are true, many are not, but the key for YOU here is that you're trying to overcome a fear of them. So, I suggest taking some time to sit and think about your idea of a man. What do men DO? What do you think they THINK ABOUT? What do they wear, were do they hang out, etc.

For this sort of problem, it doesn't really matter if your answers are stereotyped, because eventually as you become less afraid of men, you'll start hanging out with them more. *But stay with me here, I know it's a long text.*

Your answers might be, for a very stereotyped example, men play video games, drink beer, watch porn, and play football. They like to wear really comfy clothes, like athletic shorts and tanktops/beaters. They hang out at arcades, bars, and their buddy's houses.

OK, now, based on your answers, ask yourself what parts are scary or uncomfortable for you. Then, even MORE important, ask yourself if any of it seems like something you do.

"Well, I really like video games, and comfy clothes, and I spend 76% of my time on the internet looking up hentai." (Jk, just an example~)

This may help you see men as more just plain people, as opposed to this foreign concept that frightens you. You might feel better knowing there's a little bit of "man" in your own personality, making it easier to then go out and say, make one male friend. (:

you say you don't like being stared at, and you say it HAPPENS. yet you're thinking this is something that is within you that you need to fix.
its not you, its the assholes who were told from birth that its perfectly okay to stare, cat call, and flirt with a lady they don't know.
you're not paranoid, your fears are well founded.
unless the fear of men is actually making living difficult for you, i wouldnt worry about getting over your fear at all.

>>95
Well, it kind of is a problem unless OP wants to avoid half of the world's population for the rest of her life.

All you can do is use your judgment to determine who's who. Even then, almost all men who catcall and stare are otherwise harmless; typically they just want to look cool in front of their friends. The really dangerous guys probably won't be so overt. I get that that's not the source of the anxiety here, but it's something to keep in mind.

But of course, not all men are like this. For example, me. I'm not like this. Some of us are raised well.