/psy/ - Psychology

>>25

>social anxiety

Stop caring as much about what other people think of you. As long as you're not 400lb's or hideously ugly, no stranger will even think twice about you.

>How do I make friends at college and get a job

I don't know about friends or college, but how to get a job? C'mon, you know this, go apply for every job you can find, and there is actually companies that will act as fake references to boost your chance of getting hired.

With social anxiety, the only thing I can think of is give it time, and don't push yourself, at all. If you're worrying too much and you can't seem to stop, you most definitely have permission to leave or take a break from whatever you're doing (like partying or just hanging out, whatever).

As for making friends, just leave your door open, put something interesting on the door, and smile and laugh when passerby do. I put up one like the image to the right, and got a ton of laughs.
But leaving your door open is key.

If your not in a dorm, sorry for useless post.

>>27
*you're

Fuck that typo.

Become a member of a sports club or something like that.
You will meet new people, who 100% don't know you and won't think bad about you as long as you don't act impolite.
You might make friends and become able to force yourself out of the solitude - this works the same way as MMORPGs
Try it :)

>>26
what kind of BS advice is "stop caring" ?
we live in a society where we are FORCED to care and criticize ourselves because if we're happy with who we are, we won't buy a majority of what they are selling.
social anxiety is much harder than "lol stop caring u pansy"

all i can suggest OP is slowly build yourself up to it. Maybe try and find someone online who has made progress in dealing with their own social anxiety. You may be able to bond and help each other.
Sometimes you have to remind yourself that we judge ourselves the harshest because we are conditioned to do so. You may have to just bite the bullet, go into the social situation, and try to convince yourself that it is all just you, that they probably really truly do not care.
As for a job, I'd go around to the various businesses in your area, ask if they are hiring. dress your best. if you're looking to get a job thats more corporate, make a resume, look up companies that are hiring, and send it in.
the hard part will be the interviews though. I have yet to get a job because i get so nervous, I probably end up looking like a huge idiot to them.

and for making friends, I second the idea of joining a club. Do you go to a relatively big college, OP?
also when you say college, are you meaning it in the US sense, or the UK sense?

>>30

no one can force you to feel something, you are in control of your reactions. why do you think you're so helpless and shameful?

"stop caring" probably means "don't be so negative, take the plunge"

>>31
>no one can force you to feel something, you are in control of your reactions

This reminds me of something I was trying to explain to someone.

An example: some people are laughing.

I don't look at them and think "Oh man, they're laughing at me! :( Boohoo."

…because that is the DEFAULT. They ARE laughing at me. I don't have to think it, because IT IS.

When people tell me to "stop thinking so negatively", and "start being more positive", I get furious.
If I wasn't already thinking positively, I would be a hundred times more of a wreck.

>you are in control of your reactions

Maybe after a couple of years of reminding myself, my defaults will change. Not holding out on that, it's been ages already.

>>32
bro, you're stupid

or maybe self centered is the right way to say it

the only thing you can really say in such a situation is "They're laughing," and even then it's your opinion and not a fact.

>>34
>bro, you're stupid
Expand on this, please. I can't do much with useless phrases like this except get mad.

>or maybe self centered
Ha ha, because I haven't heard that before. Because I don't think that myself, every goddamn day.

>the only thing you can really say in such a situation is "They're laughing," and even then it's your opinion and not a fact.
That's what I'm already doing.

Merci pour rien.

>>35
you can ignore them you fuckwit

>>36
I hope you're not a psych major or anything like that.

>>36

>you can just ignore me you fuckwit

Fixed that for you

On-topic: I'm guessing that getting a job will be less of a problem than keeping it, for someone with social anxiety

My best advice is to find a job that you'll REALLY like to do, even if it might not pay as much as some of the other jobs you might manage to get. Doing something like this always improves an average person's morale and happiness greatly, but people like you will get much, much more out of it

The fact that you'll be doing an enjoyable activity, instead of boring stuff, will massively lower your stress, which will in turn make any stressful social interactions have much less of an impact on you

Additionally, just like you have chosen this job due to personal preference, a good percentage of your workmates will have done so as well. That means you'll be dealing with a great deal of like-minded people, meaning you can much more easily connect and become friends with them

This way you'll effectively be able to deal with both problems at once. Of course, depending on how much less you'll be getting payed, you might think it isn't worth it. But in the long run it probably will be

>>39
>>38
general science major with much interest in chemistry

also, I experience social anxiety frequently

>you can ignore them you fuckwit

So, what your saying is:

1)You can just ignore the sympathetic nervous system.

2)You can be at peace with society even when everyone hates you.Oh, the irony

>>41
If you can so easily ignore your own social anxiety then why do you have it at all??
if you don't think people can be trained to feel something, then why do so many people feelthat the natural state of their body is ugly, that they have to shave, tan, pluck, tweeze, dye, wax, etc?
when i was growing up all the people with my hair colour were ugly, undesirable, crazy, and stupid. there are little girls with dark skin who feel they are ugly and that other dark skinned girls are ugly, there are even debates among the black community about how bad dark skin is.
if we can't be conditioned to feel a certain way then why does shit like that even happen?

>>42
1. I moreso mean you can focus on other things.

2. Yes, that's possible. Though, everybody doesn't hate you. If you feel that way, please see a mental health professional.

>>43
if you can be conditioned to feel a certain way, think a certain thought, etc. you can be conditioned to feel something else. or think in a different way.

>>41
What kind of anxiety? How does it manifest?

>>52
twitching, speech impediment, generally wanting to not be near people.

I try not to pay attention to it

>>53
also, palpitations

>>54
Well, that's several times more over than whatever I have, I think.

I usually just look a little nervous and uncomfortable for an hour or two until I break down crying.

>>61
>several times more overt*

I could have sworn I typed that t.

>>74
it helps to take it in small chunks as it comes.

I used to feel like bawling at the end of days.