/ot/ - Off-topic

Ahaha nicely rolled anon. One grade below is meaningless anyway, you'll do good.

>>22827
That's some corrupt selection system there but I wouldn't complain if it was me, so congrats anon gg

>>22827
Do your best, anon.

update, just started uni, it's been going super great for me! I'm genuinely having a really good time and i hope it'll last

thanks for all the good wishes anons, i will do my best

another update in 3 years probably lol

>>23013
we have a >>rec board anon

>>23013
Wow that's great, happy for you anon. What subject are you doing? Do you think I'd get similar treatment for being schizotypal or is that not as sexy as autism to universities? I'm a couple of years late but if I have the chance to apply a little bit above my grades then uni might be worth it.

>>23015
>>>/rec/ is there to be a centre of discussion of recovery, it's not a containment board for any mentions of recovering.

>>23021
anon here. I’m doing media studies and creative writing! Honestly I think part of it was because those courses aren’t the most taken and they kinda just need anyone.
Autism is a little more…well known?? That’s the best way to put it so universities might be a little more inclined to it than schizotypical disorders, but honestly I can imagine them letting anyone with a ‘this dude got a fucked up brain’ condition in and about.

If I had to give any advice on whether you should go or not, it’s that uni seems to be what you make of it. Applying yourself is like. The big thing, yk? Just, make sure you do a course you’re passionate about. Make damn sure you do that. You’re spending a couple grand on the experience so at least do something you like.

If you do end up going for the uni route, good luck!! academia is a nightmare but it’s one I’m fully enjoying so far

and yeah I had no idea why I was being pushed towards the >>> rec board, this isn’t really a recovery post, more just a ‘heheheh I’m doing stuff’ post

Good luck with your studies at uni, I guess. Make the most out of it.

>>23126
Well, I finally applied. I didn't end up telling them I'm schizotypal. Probably should have but… yeah I don't know, just less effort. I won't post what I'm (potentially) studying yet in case stuff starts getting correlated, but stay tuned. Thanks for the encouragement anon.

>>23281
hi!! autism anon here. Happy to hear you applied, good fucking luck!! Telling them that you’re schizotypical is absolutely your choice so if you don’t wanna tell them, fair enough. It Might be your money’s worth though to look into if the unis you’re applying for have a disability and/or mental health support thing. My uni has that kind of system so because of my MANY conditions (autism, eating issues, physical illness, many other elusive conditions) my tutors are informed of what’s up and they give me the ability to do certain stuff so I can be supported such as leave lectures without a word or bring certain things! Ask around if and once you get in if you can access the support system at whatever Uni you have and explain to them your condition as well as what you need to get through the day. I’d fully imagine they’d help you and set something up for you! Again though, it’s your call if you tell them at all so, you know.

good luck anon! I Hope ur application goes well!!

>>23282
I have also just learned that I have been reading ‘schizotypal’ as ‘schizotypical’ for several years. how the fuck did I get into uni

>>23282
Thanks man :)
I might hold off on asking for support at first to see how I manage, cause I really hate dealing with people about that sort of stuff, but it's helpful to know it exists. Actually I probably will need it at some point because that the way I'd deal with stuff I couldn't handle in school was to fuck off and hang out in the woods or the alley, I almost forgot about that. As long as they're fine handling it in emails and I don't have to speak to a counsellor it should be no problem.

>>23281
Been here 4 weeks now, it's been weird. It's incredibly valuable to have somewhere to live away from my house, but I feel like I'm living here on borrowed time. I can't keep up with knowing what I'm meant to be doing because their systems are so disorganized and just being around so many people in lectures is draining enough to knock me out for the day (the material in the lectures is sometimes fun and interesting though). I've been skipping certain things which would force me to talk to people. I was a bit malnourished the first week because I didn't want to leave my room to prepare food, but I've worked out ways to do good meals in here now. I think my plan for now is to use my new independence to start building a self-employ source of money I can do alone, and in the meantime try not to get expelled.

The uni does have a mental health service thing, I don't know what it does though because I haven't signed up yet. I'm worried that they'll impose themselves on me and it's humiliating to have to submit a form about not being able to handle myself, but it will make itself apparent soon enough anyway so I might as well. Being in your room makes it easy to think of neurodivergence as being a more evolved type of human or something because your nature is opposed to every principle that built this failing world, but the reality of having to live in that world and being unable to match it is degrading. Sorry for coming back and being a downer, although there's no way I'll finish the degree I really am glad to be here because freedom from family is going to let me improve my life a lot.

>>24247
Uni autism anon here. No worries about being a downer, it’s good to hear from you.

It’s definitely weird lol, takes quite a bit of getting used to. We might have slightly different experiences since I decided to stay with my family for uni (i have a horrendous lack of independence), so I don’t have much experience in the living alone department, but I can definitely imagine.

Just as a note, a lot of people will tell you otherwise and honestly its kind of generally bad advice, but for people like us its valuable: Do NOT be afraid to skip lectures if you think you can’t handle it. I’m in my second year now and I’ve met people in way better situations flagrantly skipping lectures and seminars like it’s a second breath. If you need a break, take a break.

Also, do not be afraid of the mental health services, it’s a matter of ‘if you need ‘em, get ‘em and fuck the journey we made along the way’. If you think it’ll even be a touch valuable, give it a shot. If it doesn’t go well, ah well, you know? For us, humiliating processes are kind of what we have to go through to get what we need (the government disability benefits process I went through this year…lord) so if you think you’re able to go for it, go for it, because the things the mental health services could provide could be brilliant help!

I’m glad to hear its been a good experience so far, if nothing else uni is a great self introspection opportunity and even if you don’t pull through, you gave it a shot and learned some stuff about yourself. That’s always good! I’m in my cw class right now so I can’t say much more lol

>>24250
Been trying to write a full reply but I don't think it's coming. The gist was gonna be thanks for the advice+encouragement though, I'm gonna try to follow it, also its good to hear from you too. Nice job getting autismbux, that whole process just seems insurmountably hellish and you're strong for getting through it. That's one reason for me holding onto the money-from-art pipe dream, but you're right that this stuff is just the nature of the struggle for people like us. How's your degree going, have you written anything cool?

>>24314
hi! uni autism anon with a writing piece here.
the autismbux are so so worth the pain of the process in my opinion. Everytime i check my account and see an extra couple hundred my heart sings. autism truly does win
I was mulling over this question a bit since i don’t know how much of my creative writing work done at uni I still like. I’ve found a short piece that should work though, this was a challenge my lecturer gave us to write a piece with little to no dialogue. Decided to use some of my own characters and really double down on repetition to make the atmosphere uneasy. I do have a .flow fanfic that’s a WIP that I’ve been thinking of posting to the writing board of this site, but I don’t know how many people I want to direct to my deeply embarrassing fan fiction account. But that’s besides the point.

>>24316
To me the repetition of the girl in the wheelchair and the girl with the stitches feels like a similar effect to walking long stretches with those 3 second music loops in yume nikki. Uneasy but also… comforting? Part of that is down to the feeling of the descriptors themselves though, I wonder if you'd be able to achieve the feeling of wrongness with more innocuous images, like if you'd called them the girl with the lip gloss and the girl with the big ass or something. If you want to see something take this idea to the extreme then check out thomas ligotti's This Degenerate Little Town, this recording is good https://youtube.com/watch?v=FBca33v8oGM but it adds other sounds so if that's cheating there's a transliteration here https://ligotti.net/showthread.php?t=4597

>>24334
(That wasn't a suggestion by the way I just meant I wonder if the same offness effect could be done with types of setting/character that don't have any inherent offness to them just by writing style)

>>24316
Also I'd like to read the .flow fic if you ever feel like posting it, ok I'm done spamming now

>>24346
I might post it on here if and when I finish it. It’s still very unfinished and I still have a lot I want to do, so I’d rather people here look and review a finished product. Now it’s just to hope that I get the time to finish it

>>24247
I've been kicked out :')
Whatever, it was never going to work out, I'm glad I did it. I doubt I'll have any more updates, thanks for letting me use your thread. Merry christmas anon.

>>24663
you must have fucked up in some incredibly severe way to get kicked out in such a relatively short amount of time. like, well beyond poor academic performance or lack of attendance.

>>24663
Autismbux-writing-whatever anon here.
Fuck me that was fast

I’m not gonna ask what happened, I imagine it’s a hell of a story. At least you have the experience now and have seen a bit of what uni offers. Godspeed, anon, threads open anytime.

If anyone wants to know how I’m doing, first half of second year just ended, I’m currently on Christmas break. Just had the worst weekend of my life and I’m developing many Issues but eh, it’s what happens. At least I’m still writing. As fucked as it’s been so far, I’m looking forward to Christmas. Hope everyone’s ok.

>>24668
Have a safe christmas, y'all.

>>24714
(I tried to delete this but I don't have the password, just pretend it's not there)

>>24732
my anon names getting too long but autismbux here. Don't worry about it, lol. To answer your question, though, christmas was alright. Drank through it, I wont lie, but seeing my family was nice. I have a pretty large extended family though and since, you know, autism, things get painful so getting home was a nice relief. Still have a writing assignment I need to finish but I just started collecting Yu-Gi-Oh again so that's on the backburner while I make a deck. thinking of making a blue eyes deck since I have a blue eyes.

I don't have much writing to show since its a slow month for my motivation (and most of what I write right now is half life fanfic) but I am working on stuff in my mind so that's something. I'm mainly just drawing but next to none of my art is postable on here. I'll do a silly Madotsuki mspaint sketch eventually lmao.

Hope all is well

>I'll do a silly Madotsuki mspaint sketch eventually lmao.

as it turns out, 'eventually' is today. yes my art style is crude, its partially mspaint, partially because i'm self taught and I don't do it for progress like my writing, just to have fun. but, a mado, for ones troubles.

>>24733
please share some of the half life fanfic

>>24733
>>24734
Bleh yeah I'm being too neurotic
Cute mado, here's mine

>>24737
Top tier mado, love it
>>24735
If I can find and edit my draft of ‘Adrian shephard and g-man play Uno’ that I wrote when I finished opposing force I’ll drop it here.

>>24735
Eventually found it, it’s kinda old and not good by my standards now but I made this for fun when I didn’t know as much about half life as I do now so I think a bit of sillyness can be forgiven. Also it’s unfinished so here’s just like, the first scene

Autismbux anon returning for another episode. I'm thinking of keeping this thread around as somewhere I can say stuff into. Hope that's okay

I started ADHD medication a few weeks ago, and it's actually going okay. I'm actually getting stuff done now! It does also mean i've gotten more impulsive lately though, I've spent so much money on new clothes and cute things over the last few days, I really need to take a break on it

I don't have much writing to show right now, but if i find or make some, I'll show you all!

I'm starting to get good at yugioh, which is good. I'm still not professional level or anything, and it is just in the Rush duel format, but I have my first informal tournament soon and i'm excited!

I hope you're all doing okay! It's my birthday soon so i'll be busy, but i should be doing okay as well!

autismbux anon returning again

adhd meds fucking failed. turns out they were causing insane anxious episodes as well as me not eating. I've asked for some other ones but everything else is out of stock apparently but my med provider will keep in touch.

I've spent way too much money lately…not good. hopefully said autismbux come in soon but you know…ahaha….

Got an INSANELY good grade on a creative writing assessment though, very happy about that. The marker did also link me to the mental health services but that's par for the course with my best pieces of work.

I finished evangelion! Very very good show, I just have the rebuilds to watch now. Think my favourite characters are Kaworu and Asuka!

Hope everyone's alright. The world keeps on moving and so do I

autismbux posting once again.

I’m at a VERY busy point in my life atm. Nearly died doing 3k words in one sitting for an assignment, ended the night at four am and basically slept through the entire next day. good sleep though.

I got some money in!! Which is good lol I can actually support myself again.

we also got a cat recently, very friendly boy. we can’t let him out yet, way too dangerous, but he jumps on my lap at any chance he gets and purrs louder than a machine gun. It’s great.

Started playing ultrakill as well, I think this is the fastest I’ve gotten obsessed with something. Image related.

If all goes well, I’ll be on better adhd meds soon. So, mostly good news today.

Hope you are all well, anons.

You will endure!