/ot/ - Off-topic

the spiral stops when you start loving yourself, i know these are some cliche as fuck words but thats how it is

you do deserve love anon, and if you want others to love you you need to love yourself first, like you did when you used to shower and groom yourself. take a 5 minute bath and talk to your friends, about anything. even if you do it behind a screen its better than not doing anything no?

ill admit i also go through the same thing, and i know i need to do the advice i gave you too but, still, its hard

no harm in trying though. good luck op and remember you deserve love

I trust no one. The thought of having a girlfriend living with me makes my skin crawl, especially in the era of web 3.0 where everyone is connected, potentially documenting you with a phone, saved for blackmail when you're inevitably dumped. FwB? Fine. Escorts you'll only ever see once in a lifetime? AoK. But a backstabby girlfriend? Fuck that.

>>22093
>il when you're inevitably dumped
>But a backstabby girlfriend
I feel like there is an interesting story behind this anon's post.

>>22094
Lifelong physical damage done to me and heaps of abuse at a young age that I'd rather not get into. Point is, I don't trust anyone with instant access to social media and a camera in their pocket, nor do I trust anyone with my food or my cat.

>>22093
A few people are an awful control group. I understand this person in particular hurt you but their actions don't have bearing on everyone's actions.
Finding someone who has been through similar things and wants to heal and grow alongside you may work out well one day.
Moreover if the idea is so repulsive than you do need to take some time to heal. I had a girl who toyed with my feelings for two years before I gave up and then it took two more years before I was really ready for another attempt at it. That's ok, take what time you need if you need to. (But don't dwell for eternity either, the people who hurt you don't deserve to have your life's emotional effort dedicated to them.)
If you don't want to be with someone who's overwired than don't. My partner doesn't have any twitter or facebook services and I'm off social media entirely. Those sorts of corporate social status nonsense sites can't hurt you if you don't engage with them. For context.
I'm going on 3 years with person after having been a virgin and never dating anyone as a teenager. It can get better but you have to try and work on yourself while you try. You don't need to be perfect, that whole perfect yourself before looking for another person thing people push is nonsense, but it can't hurt to self-improve along the way either.

>>22098
Having a live-in girlfriend just doesn't suit my personality. I can cook for myself, comfort myself, and I typically like to explore/travel alone. Not every girl is awful, but you have to remember, people change as well, be it naturally or mood changes from medications and illegally obtained drugs. Everyone is too damn predictably unpredictable.

>>22090
Anon, I went through the exact same. Give yourself time. All wounds heal, sooner or later. For now prioritize your health (hygiene, diet and exercise), and getting friends or rekindling with older ones, those are way more important than a relationship and actually relevant to being in a better place. Don't try to climb the mountain of a relationship if you've just fallen and you don't even have the equipment nor the state of mind to try, you'll just be setting yourself up for failure and a worse fall. Health and friends, then the rest.

>>22098
>that whole perfect yourself before looking for another person thing people push is nonsense
In a way yes, but most people i've dated and watched my friends date tend to shove issues on each other. Being able to handle your own issues without needing another person to act as a mediator/therapist seems very helpful.

>>22093
>especially in the era of web 3.0 where everyone is connected, potentially documenting you with a phone, saved for blackmail when you're inevitably dumped

how common is this? seriously considering to just ignore women algother