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Captchas didn't work. Sticking to janitors while we try to think of something else.

File: 1491722868313.webm (2.29 MB, 480x360, Good night.webm)

 No.17344[View All]

The other thread has been in auto-sage for some time now, so it was about time someone made a new one.

Vol. IV:
>>11490
Vol. V:
>>12455
Vol. VI:
>>13918
Vol. VII:
>>15010
Vol. VIII:
>>15863

I've been reconsidering my life. They always tell you that as you grow up things get easier since you mature and bloom into a normal human being… but I've been pondering whether people only pretend to have their lives in control only to not lose their shit about it. I mean, yeah, I don't think everybody hates their lives, but I'm sure everybody gets chocked by the pressure once in a while. The question is, what happens when your life is constant chocking? Or rather, can you go on with your live as you're chocked every second? Some years ago I remember looking at people and feeling completely distant, and knowing that one day I'd merge with the multitude. Now that it's happening, I almost can feel my old self there looking at me from outside the crowd. It's been pretty surreal. My life isn't bad in on itself, but I feel I can't fit, and no matter what I do it's never enough. I don't know, I've had this idea that I'm broken somehow, and it's been my justification for so long. If I can't be fixed, why bother?

So yeah. It's late ubuu, I'm tired and I caught a cold. Good night, hang in there, guys. I hope that even if things aren't going that well you can at least get some peace from Ritz's voice.
Good night.
207 posts and 157 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.22853

I'm glad this place is still here.

 No.22871

File: 1662031665699.jpg (106.47 KB, 568x680, bria (4).jpg)

The Five Stages of Grief

The first stage: Denial.

Denial is the first of the five stages of grief™️. It helps us to survive the loss. In this stage, the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming. Life makes no sense. We are in a state of shock and denial. We go numb. We wonder how we can go on, if we can go on, why we should go on. We try to find a way to simply get through each day. Denial and shock help us to cope and make survival possible.

 No.22874

File: 1662092630353.jpg (558.7 KB, 2591x3624, EX-n11TUEAA9TsC.jpg)

The clock is tickling, but everybody is unaware of this.
The world is blurring, but so is everybody else.
I am disappearing, yet people don't realize this fact.

Sometimes I think about walking down the road into the wilderness, and letting the void engulf me.
I possess nothing, I have no attachments. Nothing but a small case, that I can carry with me wherever I go. Why am I carrying a case in the first place? I guess I'm afraid to lose my identity. With one foot outside the threshold, and the other one inside, what does it matter who I am. I was never here in the first place.

 No.22937


 No.22947

How the US is trying to maintain dominance of the advanced semiconductor industry and limit China's ability to develop its own

The US has long dominated the advanced semiconductor industry and is going to great lengths, and expense, to stop China from catching up.

The tiny computing components are essential for almost anything that runs on power these days — from home appliances to consumer technology like smart phones, computers and cars, through to defence systems, satellites, AI systems and weapons of war.

On top of pumping billions of dollars in subsidies and other incentives into its industry, the US has sought to build alliances with South Korea, Japan, the Netherlands and Taiwan to boost production.

It has also taken steps to drastically restrict China's ability to access the critical technology, also known as microchips.

But experts warn the latest suite of US moves in the so-called "chip wars" could also backfire, and push China's industry to develop its own advanced semiconductors.

 No.22957

Why is Jupiter so bright right now?
There's a few reasons, according to University of Southern Queensland astrophysics professor Jonti Horner.

The first is because Jupiter will reach something astronomers call opposition.

"It just means that Jupiter is pretty much opposite the sun in the sky," Professor Horner says.

"Jupiter is rising at sunset and setting at sunrise."

This happens every 13 months and makes Jupiter appear bigger and brighter than any other time of the year.

"At that time, the Earth is at its closest to Jupiter for that year — so we'd describe that as Earth making its closest approach to Jupiter," Professor Horner says.

"However, not all close approaches are equal, some are closer than others.

"This year's close approach is the closest since 1963.

"The reason for this is that Jupiter's orbit around the Sun is not perfectly circular — nor is the Earth's.

"This year, the Earth is closest to Jupiter just at the same time that Jupiter is at its closest to the Sun, which is why this year's opposition is such a close encounter."

This will make for an "extraordinary" view of Jupiter, NASA said in a blog post.

https://blogs.nasa.gov/Watch_the_Skies/2022/09/16/jupiter-to-reach-opposition-closet-approach-to-earth-in-70-years/

 No.22980

There are basically two kinds of generators, the alternator type and the frequency inverter type. Alternator type generators are basically an internal combustion engine hooked up to an alternator which generates an AC waveform. To maintain 60 hertz frequency, the generator runs at a constant, wide open speed which makes them very loud. But they are also very cheap to build and that makes them appealing to people who think they can have a generator on a budget.

Inverter generators, as the name implies, use a DC generator with a frequency inverter to generate an AC sine wave regardless of engine speed. Thus, if the load level is low, the generator will throttle down and still provide the correct frequency and amperage needed. When the load increases, the internal combustion engine will throttle up accordingly. As a result, such generators are far quieter and more fuel efficient than the alternator type. However, is sufficiency and quietness comes of the cost. They are often twice as expensive as the inexpensive alternator type generators.

The temptation with generators is to be the person on the block who has all his lights on when the power is off. People don't like to feel helpless when situations are out of their control. Having a generator is a way of exerting control over your environment, albeit in a limited way.

What brought this to a head was a friend of mine bought an alternator type generator and installed it in their storage shed on their property, with a very elaborate system of fans and vents to keep it dry, but well-ventilated. When the storm hit, the power went off for 12 hours because Georgia Power couldn't put up the snorkel trucks in the high winds.

Rather than run the generator for a few hours to keep the fridge and freezer cold - and then turn it off - they left it on all night. Something happened - the generator caught fire, and since it was plumbed to a large propane tank, the fire quickly spread, particularly once the propane line melted. It took two hours for the fire department to extinguish the blaze - and the shed and accompanying studio were reduced to ruins.

Was it worth it? The idea was that with a generator, you would "ride out the storm" - but as we saw on Ft. Myers Beach, ten feet of water with waves of four feet or more, will push a house right off its foundations and then reduce it to scraps, in a matter of minutes.

 No.22999

It has been a high-profile year for improvised robotic weapons. During the Russian invasion of Ukraine, news of makeshift bombers made of off-the-shelf DJI quadcopter drones and munitions have made the rounds on social media. And in July, a widely circulated hobbyist video of a Unitree dogbot with a gun strapped to its back stirred up fears of "dystopian nightmare" in the press. On YouTube, you can find several videos of people imitating the stunt in other scenarios.

An unauthorized video of a gun bolted onto a $3,000 Unitree robodog spread quickly on social media in July.
Enlarge / An unauthorized video of a gun bolted onto a $3,000 Unitree robodog spread quickly on social media in July.
Alexander Atamanov
The open letter seems to indirectly address these recent media events, saying, "… we now feel renewed urgency in light of the increasing public concern in recent months caused by a small number of people who have visibly publicized their makeshift efforts to weaponize commercially available robots."

FURTHER READING
The NYPD retires “Digidog” robot after public backlash
The letter's specific focus on "advanced-mobility general-purpose robots" leaves room for interpretation regarding specialty robots designed for warfare or law enforcement, which the pledge does not cover. Instead, it primarily concerns public use of "widely available" robots and calls for government regulation: "We call on policymakers to work with us to promote safe use of these robots and to prohibit their misuse."

Boston Dynamics previously supplied robots to police forces for unarmed uses, causing a backlash in New York City last year, although the firm's contract with the New York Police Department prohibited using the Spot robot as a weapon. On this point, the letter carves out a sizable exception to its pledge: "To be clear, we are not taking issue with existing technologies that nations and their government agencies use to defend themselves and uphold their laws."

You can read the full statement on the Boston Dynamics website.

 No.23031

I'm so fucking sick of watching things, listening to things, reading things, but when I don't the mental chaos builds and I become a danger to myself.

 No.23042

That is another reason why few people collect on Lifetime Guarantees - laziness or forgetfulness. You have an old hat and it gets grungy - you throw it out without thinking about it. You forgot about the lifetime guarantee, or it seems like too much hassle to pack up the hat and ship it to Canada (as I did with Mr. See's hat). So you go out and buy a new hat. Statistically, few people collect on these deals, mostly because they don't bother to ask.

One reason why stores request a driver's license when you return something is so they can track who is returning. Amazon does this as well and "bans" users who buy things and then return them. People were actually buying wedding dresses, getting married, and then returning them when done. Saves the bride a couple of grand, but costs Amazon (or the seller) the same amount - no one will pay top dollar for a used wedding dress.

So when Walmart asks me for a driver's license, it is to track how many times I return things. If I become a serial returner, well, they will suspect something is up and ban me as well.

I recounted before how I was at a Lowe's once, and this crackhead lady wanted to return a $200 faucet (why are faucets so freaking expensive, anyway? Subject for a new posting, as I will need new faucets shortly). They were just starting to put RFID chips in the high-value products and the guy at the return desk told the lady she couldn't return the item because their inventory control system showed the item as being on the shelf. RFID chips can not only detect when an item is carried out without paying, but attach individual serial numbers to products, so as to identify stolen goods.

The guy was flat-out calling the lady a thief, without saying so. She tried to argue, but finally realized what he was saying. And when the clerk made noises about the police, she left the store.

Stolen goods are another source of "returns" as well, which is, unfortunately, another reason why these "lifetime guarantees" are fading from the scene.

So, "Lifetime Guarantees" may become a thing of the past - or are becoming a thing of the past, as, over time, every company that offers them, accumulates more and more liability for every product they sell. Eventually, it could bankrupt the company. So save those receipts - companies are being more strict with these guarantees - if they offer them at all.

 No.23049

A friend of mine like to go to garage sales and then give away what they bought. So I get all these tea towels, which we use in the kitchen in place of paper towels (for many uses - we still have paper towels around for certain things). It is nice she gives us these, but it is funny how many of them are seasonal - Christmas, Easter, Halloween, even Valentine's Day.

 No.23050

it funny how i keep telling myself ill feel better after x or y happens, especially when those things are usually so unlikely to happen, yet when they do happen i feel the same as always.

whether i get what i want or i get nothing im simply unable to differentiate the two emotionally anymore

 No.23051

wish I had a soul. my mind is a mess of unprocessed contradictory thoughts and beliefs because I've done nothing but lurk and leech during the few years I've been on the internet. i've spent so much time being a soulless follower drone, a pathological liar, overtly self-destructive, and doing mindless repetitive things - and while it used to feel nice to blame my shitty life, family and lack of internet access for all that wasted time, i can't move past the fact i actually did all that and didn't cope in some way that would at least afford me a soul and at least one place to belong.

 No.23091

>>23051
everyone has a soul

 No.23192

Merry christmas ubuu.

 No.23193

File: 1671915916402.png (414.87 KB, 870x1109, poni.png)

>>23192 Merry christmas!!!

 No.23194

File: 1671917663819.png (310.51 KB, 472x464, ANORECTAL-VIOLENCE.png)

Merry Christmas vomitive shithole!

 No.23198

Merry Christmas you guys.

 No.23205

File: 1672107018526.gif (93.55 KB, 250x250, christmas padowo3453443.gif)

>>23198
To another year, Merry Christmas!

 No.23215

Today was not a good day.

 No.23217

File: 1672377026865-0.jpg (54.54 KB, 774x683, 00 (1).jpg)

File: 1672377026865-1.jpg (75.68 KB, 851x575, 00 (2).jpg)

File: 1672377026865-2.jpg (69.22 KB, 1279x563, 00 (3).jpg)

>>23215
Then MAKE it a good day

 No.23236

>>23217
Monday is for Muscle Monday.
Lift & stretch until it is done!

 No.23254


What Happens When A CPU Starts:

This is a discussion of what happens when a CPU chip starts. It may be
thought of as what happens when a whole computer starts, since the CPU is the
center of the computer and the place where the action begins.

Generally, when a CPU chip first receives power, it must be reset by
receiving a pulse on its RESET (or RST) pin. This is because when the power
supply is first powering up, even if it only takes a second or two, the CPU
has already received "dirty" power, because the power supply was building up
a steady stream of electricity. Digital logic chips like CPUs require precise
voltages, and they get confused if they receive something outside their
intended voltage range. Thus, as soon as the chip has powered up, it is reset
to bring it to a known starting condition. This is done automatically by
circuitry on the motherboard that performs a reset upon power-up. The RESET
pin (which is usually active-low) must be activated for a certain number of
clock cycles to reset the CPU. The reset circuit keeps the RESET signal
active for a moment, then disables it, at which point the CPU begins its act.

The actions of the CPU can actually be summarized very simply: It simply
executes instructions from memory. Ultimately, all the CPU really is, is a
chip which receives instructions, and then performs those instructions.

The CPU gets its instructions from memory. "Memory" is a term that
encompasses both the RAM and the ROM. The RAM is the CPU's workspace, where
it temporarily stores data that it is currently working on. The ROM is the
permanent code that the CPU reads every time it is turned on; The ROM is
always the first code to get executed on the CPU. The CPU addresses memory
(both RAM and ROM) through the address bus, sending out a particular
combination of 1s and 0s on the address bus lines to choose a particular byte
of memory. The memory chips respond by sending the contents of the selected
memory cell over the data bus to the CPU.

Every CPU has a particular point in memory where it begins reading
instructions after it has been reset. Some CPUs will simply jump to a set
point and begin executing the instructions there, while others actually use
what is called a "reset vector", which means that it first checks a
particular point in memory for a number which is the memory address to begin
executing instructions at.

As an example of this, the Z80 CPU immediately begins executing code from
memory address 0000 when it is reset. This is a relatively simple case. By
contrast, the 6502, another popular classic CPU, has a two-byte reset vector
located at memory addresses FFFC and FFFD (in hexadecimal). This means that
the ROM in a 6502-based computer *must* be at the top of the memory space.
The two bytes are stored backwards, and thus, if FFFC contains 00 and FFFD
contains B0, then the 6502 will jump to memory location B000 and start
executing instructions there. There are two advantages to this system: First
of all, it gives the computer engineer some control over where the CPU begins
executing ROM code, and secondly, it leaves the bottom area of the memory
space (beginning at address 0000) free for RAM. The Z80's system, although
simpler, creates a "hole" in the memory, because the bottom of the memory
space is used by ROM and therefore you cannot use the beginning of the memory
space for normal RAM work.

 No.23255

>>23254
The CPU contains a register called the instruction pointer (abbreviated IP)
which contains a number. The number in the IP is the memory address at which
the next instruction is to be performed. IP is incremented with each
instruction, and in the event of a JMP instruction (a jump instruction, which
tells the CPU to jump to another location and start running the instructions
there), IP is set to the jump location and then the CPU continues on its way
from there. The CPU's instructions are sometimes called "opcodes". They are
simply strings of binary 1s and 0s which together form an instruction. For
example, on a standard Intel 80x86 CPU (such as a 486 or Pentium), the opcode
90h (or 10010000 binary) is a NOP (no operation) opcode. NOP is the simplest
instruction in any CPU, and it simply means to do nothing and go on to the
next instruction. If a cell in RAM or ROM contains this opcode and the CPU
executes it, it will perform a NOP (in other words, it will do nothing) and
then IP will be set to the next memory cell. (On some computer platforms, the
instruction pointer is called the "program counter", inexplicably abbreviated
"PG". However, on the PC (as in "IBM PC") platform, the term "instruction
pointer" is usually used, because that term is preferred by Intel with regard
to its 80x86 CPU family.)

Regardless of where the CPU begins getting its instructions, the beginning
point should always be somewhere in a ROM chip. The computer needs startup
instructions to perform basic hardware checking and preparation, and these
are contained in a ROM chip on the motherboard called the BIOS. This is where
any computer begins executing its code when it is turned on.

Once the BIOS code has been executed, what happens next depends entirely on
what is in the BIOS, although normally the BIOS will begin looking for a disk
drive of some kind and start executing the instructions there (which is
usually an operating system). From that point onward, the OS takes over and
usually runs a shell which the user then uses to operate the computer.

It should be explained how the CPU communicates with the various memory
chips. At the very least, a computer needs two of these (one for ROM and one
for RAM), and often there are more than one. Yet they all share the same
address bus; How do the chips know when the CPU is addressing them, and when
it is not? A very popular solution to this is to use a converter chip,
usually a 3-to-8 converter, and occasionally a 2-to-4 converter is used.

The 3-to-8 converter is simply a chip with three logic inputs and eight logic
outputs. Depending on which combination of inputs is on, a single of the
eight outputs will be activated. If you remember your binary math, you should
realize that having three bits gives you eight possible combinations of 1s
and 0s, to wit: 000, 001, 010, 011, 100, 101, 110, and 111. The three inputs
are attached to the highest three lines of the address bus (A13 to A15 in a
CPU with a 16-bit address bus), and the eight outputs can now be used as chip
select signals. Very nearly every RAM or ROM chip in existence has a "Chip
Select" (CS) pin, which can enable or disable the chip, and whichever chip
receives the CS signal from the 3-to-8 converter will be the one that
responds to the memory access by the CPU.

Of course, because you are devoting 3 of your address bus lines to chip
selection, you have reduced addressing functionality within the actual chips.
However, this is not usually a problem. The remaining 13 address bus lines
give you 8K of memory space in each chip, which is usually enough for small
computers. If you have 8 memory chips, each of them with 8K of memory in
them, then you have a full 64K of addressable memory, using the full capacity
of a CPU with a 16-bit address bus.

The following are the memory ranges you get with a 3-to-8 converter on a
16-bit address bus (numbers preceding the range indicate the status of the
three inputs on the converter):

000: 0000h to 1FFFh
001: 2000h to 3FFFh
010: 4000h to 5FFFh
011: 6000h to 7FFFh
100: 8000h to 9FFFh
101: A000h to BFFFh
110: C000h to DFFFh
111: E000h to FFFFh

The following are the memory ranges you get with a 3-to-8 converter on an
8-bit address bus:

000: 00h to 1Fh
001: 20h to 3Fh
010: 40h to 5Fh
011: 60h to 7Fh
100: 80h to 9Fh
101: A0h to BFh
110: C0h to DFh
111: E0h to FFh

The following are the memory ranges you get with a 2-to-4 converter on a
16-bit address bus:

00: 0000h to 3FFFh
01: 4000h to 7FFFh
10: 8000h to BFFFh
11: C000h to FFFFh

The following are the memory ranges you get with a 2-to-4 converter on an
8-bit address bus:

00: 00h to 3Fh
01: 40h to 7Fh
10: 80h to BFh
11: C0h to FFh

 No.23285

After 25 years, GoldenEye 007 gets its first modern rerelease Friday
Xbox gets enhanced 4K visuals, but Switch gets online play.

 No.23340

I deleted my Glumcotton Dusk thread from ig. It's silly to pretend I'm anon when I have a twitter for the game and am planning to launch the game in non-anon platforms. Take care everyone.

 No.23341

>>23340
Were you the one who'd quit their job or something to dedicate themselves to the game? On one hand I get what you're saying, but if you don't want to feign anonymity you could just namefag in that thread. That's not unusual for devs here. It might be cool to have updates where people who like these sorts of games will actually see it. Do whatever you want though.

 No.23342

>>23341
That's me. I'll remake the thread once I have a demo, it will be coming soon.

 No.23381

File: 1679830895487.jpg (376.54 KB, 1080x1350, missjava.jpg)

Why do I feel so uneasy?

 No.23408

I wish posting online wasn't so hard but I really hate having an identity tied to me, especially after all that happened this one time. it all just makes me feel "findable" and I swear I'm not that paranoid. I suppose I do act that way, but art is just something that really follows you though

 No.23435

File: 1681813985118.gif (228.33 KB, 1000x1000, 2023.gif)

>>23381
Black & white is such an under-rated aesthetic

 No.23482

File: 1682939808782-0.jpg (145.96 KB, 850x692, 20230501.jpg)

File: 1682939808782-1.jpg (1.45 MB, 5000x3000, 20230503.jpg)

Mayday mayday
Would you go meatless for monday?

 No.23618

It's Fry-day. I'm had a fried battered chicken burger for breakfast and want fried rice for lunch. Dinner is tempura.

 No.23652

File: 1688286363577.webm (3.18 MB, 640x360, whoaMGS.webm)

AI is dangerous?

 No.23907

File: 1692538362547-0.jpg (62.03 KB, 600x1000, 20230818.jpg)

File: 1692538362547-1.jpg (54.07 KB, 506x768, AAAcake.jpg)

Frying rice is fun!
Dessert? No thanks, trying to cut down on sugar…

 No.23977

File: 1693642659084.jpg (111.29 KB, 562x968, 20230908.jpg)

Time for farming * fixing

 No.24009

File: 1693872087284.jpg (119.44 KB, 818x506, 20230907.jpg)

Source: https://twitter.com/all_gray_ue3/status/1697588647917437110#m

This is the advertisement for 【MC☆Axis】magazine on sale 21st Sept. It features police mamas (right) and promises Mika & Youko bunnygirl pinup (left).

Bonus:

『ガールズ&パンツァー 最終章』第4話 Trailer 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61ZJEjBAGA0

『ガールズ&パンツァー 最終章』第4話 Trailer 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxNqHf8AnW0

 No.24057

File: 1694602223177-0.jpg (53.21 KB, 640x360, 20230912.jpg)

File: 1694602223177-1.jpg (557.65 KB, 2048x1608, AAA.jpg)

I must WANT to do better. Feeling lazy but I know there's work to be done. Curses!

 No.24071

File: 1694849663443-0.gif (126.04 KB, 200x150, 2023.gif)

File: 1694849663443-1.gif (79.79 KB, 250x145, 2Z.gif)

Punch and kick until the work is done!

 No.24158

Many years ago, when I was smoking pot in the tree house at Sigma Chi at GMI, I had a pot-fueled epiphany. The difference in intelligence, between the very least of us (think: mentally handicapped) and an Einstein, was insignificant, compared to the infinite wisdom of the universe. We like to think we are "smart" people, compared to others, but in relative terms, compared to the wisdom of the Gods, we are all equally as stupid.

A friend of mine, exhaling bong smoke, disagreed. From his perspective, there were dumb people who did stupid shit, and then there were smart people who didn't. And in retrospect, we both were right.

 No.24170

File: 1695990444994-0.jpg (215.17 KB, 656x987, 20230929.jpg)

File: 1695990444994-1.gif (74.99 KB, 126x118, 20230001.gif)

Time to spring forward or fall back; it's mid-autumn festival moon-watching time!

 No.24206

File: 1696506669747.gif (1.53 MB, 250x188, 20230000.gif)

I'm tired but I can't sleep
*sigh*

 No.24257

File: 1697527548465.jpg (78.58 KB, 988x656, 20231019.jpg)

Baby, it's cold outside…

 No.24293

File: 1697682742645.jpg (211.62 KB, 1495x1080, kotoha.jpg)

Learning Japanese and I think I'm finally at a level where I don't have to hit my head against a wall every day. Fucking hell these 10~ months immersing were probably the worst in my life, but it's mostly over and it's becoming fun now. Anyone considering doing this, you have been warned. The reward of being able to access more non-English-speaking communities in this day and age of the internet is a pretty good feeling but I learned that most of the places are run by bots now anyway.

I was thinking of immersing in Russian after this (next year most likely with this kind of speed) but I might have to halt my "plans" for now. My plan was to get fluent in both Russian and Japanese to have more leeway on the internet because I am really becoming scared how barren everything is becoming now on the internet.

 No.24299

>>24293
sounds cool, what do you mean by immersing though? making accounts on japanese websites and forcing yourself to interact with strangers in japanese? using japanese twitter in japanese only?

 No.24337

>>24299

I use the AJATT-method (all japanese all the time). So I have been watching anime raws first, reading raw manga and now recently started reading light novels since manga became easier. Of course, having no better things to do and being able to pump many hours a day into this because of that has helped a lot in progressing.

 No.24385

File: 1698738871131-0.gif (729.95 KB, 255x192, 20230009.gif)

File: 1698738871131-1.jpg (97.03 KB, 498x768, 20231102.jpg)

>>24293
Are you using duolingo?

 No.24409

File: 1698875565967.jpg (1.26 MB, 1445x1697, 1556965741848-1.jpg)

>>24385
Nay, I use Anki for that. I add raw subtitles text from anime or screenshot the text I want to add there and then learn it. While I never thought of really stopping the learning process, there are of course moments where nothing seems to make any sense so it kind of eats away the motivation a lot. At some point though you just kind of realize how deep you are in the learning process already and then just decide to go to the very end (native level).

 No.24738

File: 1703977534285.png (284.64 KB, 500x400, Angels-Bouguereau.png)

Why does everything have the need to be on Discord these days?
Like seriously, if you want to download some program, appeal a ban, etc. you have to join the Discord for it. Shit's so annoying. It doesn't help the fact that it's locked behind a login wall.
I'd rather use forums than Discord, at least those were easier to get around.

 No.24836

File: 1705362147730.jpg (168.28 KB, 850x702, sample_58f95177f61d28c822a….jpg)

I'm emotionally unavailable to my family since years ago. I stopped showing my genuine interests and emotions and thoughts. To every phrase I simply say a vague response without looking more trouble. I already have trouble with them talking about the most boring topics of conversation while my mind goes Skyler yelling "shut up, shut up, shut up". My mother is a lying narcissist (whose doesn't?) who constantly projects her virtues on everyone else, my father insulted my hobbies more than one occasion with his coworkers, and my brother for some reason has a strange tendency to step on mines that result in very unpleasant topics in almost every single lunch meal. When I meet new people with them, they present me like if I'm a trophy or a dog who knows tricks, not like I'm a son. These people are making me feel alone.

In times of distress I like to take a walk to the beach to disconnect myself from these people. It used to work wonders, but it's harder to not think about these family members each day. Every time I remember an ounce of a memory of any of them, I get mad. My usual attempts to relax ultimately became outweighed. Even with my extreme introversion I'm heavily considering in joining a gym. Maybe to meet new people, maybe to meet new friends, establish a conversation, join a friend group. Even if nothing happens I'll still be doing a healthier lifestyle and having fun doing exercise, so it's a win-win for me anyway.

Today I played around the AI Text generators, and I wrote something like
>Imagine you're my father and I'm your son who is very demoralized, write me a letter encouraging me
Before I got to the third paragraph I was already shedding tears. I felt something very emotional while I was reading that letter. What the hell is wrong with me, crying over something an AI made for me? But some of these words are things that should have come from my parents years ago. What did I get instead?
>You got bullied in school? Nah, ignore them, they'll get tired soon
>You don't want to hear the news? Time to lecture and demoralize you
>You depressed? Don't be selfish, depression is not real
Yeah. AI is not that disgusting considering the alternative. There is something very human behind these words in that letter.

Not sure what I'm hoping to accomplish writing this story. At least I can treat this as a cathartic experience and organize my ideas better. Maybe someone here feeling lonely can ask an AI to write an encouraging letter for them, or maybe get inspired and write a book about this. Whatever inspiration anyone gets from reading this, I hope they have fun doing it. Even if it's a collection of jokes about daddy issues.



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