I'll hold all these words close to my heart…
After 4 years away from imageboards i returned last year to some boards and now i'm vanishing again, much like last time.
Not sure how should i feel… you see, imageboards are like a drug. We take our medication and get cured, then we take more and more… we overdose. This isn't good for people like me.
Like last time, i'll spend my days alone in my room, taking care of my mother and playing games and eroges. I want time to do it's thing and if something else comes up, i'll manage until suicide. I want it to be quick, there are some subways here nearby, haven't decided yet… better not think too much until the time comes.
I want distance from imageboards, all of them, if i get the urge to talk with somebody again, i'll just force myself to play a game a bit longer… and longer. Maybe call Mai to comfort me again… i don't know.
Don't get me wrong, i'd be glad to make a thread a couple years from now on and perhaps, having you replying to it or having you as friend.
But… i really don't want to travel this road anymore, people like you fill others with hope. I don't want hope, no longer. I wonder where things fell apart in my life, i used to be a good guy, popular with the girls even, average-looking, fit, glasses and all. Probably it would take a well-paying job to get my shit together. But i don't want any of this anymore, it's all so futile for me now… i want to vanish in insanity and end it all.
Maybe it happened just like that for some of you too. First we fall, then the chain of bad events begin and the more we try to free ourselves, the more we get stuck and powerless to escape. Like getting into a giant spider's web, yes, that's life. Or maybe destiny? Fate? Nah.
Coming to think of it, these last days i've finished Hotline Miami 2 and Monobeno, goes to show a bit of my personality, i guess. Violent and tender?
Anyway, i undertand you like Sakura Taisen and i know these series are very popular in Japan, but reasonably unknown here in the west. You've inspired me to play my backlog, i'm going to devour my eroges here. Monobeno was great by the way.
Still need to play Monobeno -happy end- and the Append disks, i'll be doing this as soon as i finish posting this.
I'm still praying for you guys, anonymous posters. Ever will.
The Internet is becoming like real-life isn't it, when we take out the spamming bots, very few people remain. Something to think about.
Hopefully we'll all meet again, far away.
We cannot predict life, maybe someday life changes colors for every one of us.
Thank you for my stay.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCeTvDr85CA