No.9557
>missed the last 3 periods out of four
>gotta do something
>plans are to do the whole year's studies now
>actually posting here
So, pretty much the same.
No.9706
>after failing programming for so many years start languages
>6 guys 25 girls
>oral presentation in two weeks, planning on having a drink right before for the anxiety
>can't stop acting how I think I'm supposed to act to not be hated
I just want someone to like me
No.9709
>>9706Stop being such a beta fedora, bruh. The fact that you're terrorized by the gender imbalance in class (how do you think girls in engineering majors feel? asshole) just makes me think you're a virgin loser. Keep crying, your male tears are delicious.
No.9722
>So how's education/employment going for the non-NEETs/former NEETs?
>clock in late erryday
>clock out early erryday
>take a break three times as long as i'm supposed to
i t ' s o k
No.9725
I have work tomorrow evening.
It makes me want to die. I hate my life so much.
No.9729
Actually pretty good for once. I missed my last class that had a quiz that day but that class is only financial aid padding. My important clases I pushed myself and manage to get a 89% on th test which I was proud of and now im on spring break :) Life is okay.
No.9765
>>9736>>9764Is this like Off fanart or something? Well, whatever it is, I relate to it emotionally, the black watercolors, the blood seeping through eyes/mouth. It's like if my psyche was given art form. Uusually I use pictures of Yume nikki girl being depressed to represent my inner conflict (I cycle through different ones for my steam avatar to let people know how i feel) but this is a contender.
No.9772
>>9771OFF was a great game
No.9773
>>9767Dont know much bout facebook, but i dont think even there you can expect people trying to contact you because of your icon.
No.9779
>>9767>it was that moment that I deleted my fb accountFeels. Same thing happened to me, only it was called Myspace and no one ever messaged me to see how I was feeling. Then I created a music myspace page with my songs and still nothing. I have a fb account now, knowing full well that no one gives a shit about me. Once you learn to accept that no one cares about you it gets easier because you have no expectations. It's a painful process, getting to the point of where you don't care that they don't care; but still improving yourself so that someday they might. Although, society rejecting you isn't without consequence. You'll probably end up with a personality disorder or two.
No.9782
>>9779I actually don't know that feel, I made it up knowing it would lure someone who actually experienced that.
No.9785
>>9767That's a very roundabout way of letting people know how you feel. Almost feels like you were testing them, and that's not very nice.
No.9787
>>9782Thanks for nothing you jerk. You fucking jerk.
>>9786>Life is badIt sure the fuck is, bud. I don't know what to say. I'm just drowning in shit. I'm up to my ears in it. A shit whirlpool. A big one XXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDD a grat one XXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
No.9790
If you're having trouble with procrastination, try out the following: Set a timer for 10-15 minutes, then work on the assignment for the allotted time. You aren't allowed to stop before the time runs out, but you can either quit or continue working once it does.
In a similar vein, examine the assignment description and think through it, breaking it down into small, manageable subproblems. Then, by eliminating the less-intimidating subproblems one at a time, you'll grind away at the issue until it's completed.
The idea here is that the assignment(s) at hand seem far more oppressive and overwhelming when you haven't started them, or when you look at them in their entirety and try to tackle the whole thing at once, but aren't as bad as they seem once you start making progress on them and understand the individual objectives underlying them. Think of it like momentum: When you aren't moving, it's hard to make yourself move, but once you're already moving, it's much easier to keep going.
>>9555College has kept me unbelievably busy lately. I'm having to work as hard as I can just to keep up with everything. I guess this is what happens when a week of cancellations due to snow days push all of your classes' schedules back. Summer break cannot arrive soon enough.
>>9558I realize that this reply is quite late, but perhaps Dreamweaver has a file recovery option similar to Microsoft Word, such that you can recover the work you lost? Alternatively, perhaps you could inform your instructor or superior about the crash, and ask for an extension of the deadline? Accidents like this happen, so I'm sure they'll be sympathetic.
>>9706Practice your presentation as frequently as you can. You don't even have to practice in front of other people. Present to your monitor, your TV, your refrigerator, while in the shower, anywhere you can. The more familiar you are with the presentation, the less anxious you'll feel. That is, the goal is to practice it enough times such that not only do you get it right, but you cannot get it wrong.
>>9722That's one laid-back job. If I may ask, what do you do?
>>9725What in specific about your job do you hate?
>>9727I'm not sure if this advice is entirely relevant, but I've heard that, lacking any prior job experience, having a lot of community service hours recorded can boost your chances of landing a job interview (for a part-time or entry-level job), since it's another way of demonstrating that you're a hard worker.
For an interview, doing research about both the position and the business to which you're applying betters your chances, as it demonstrates to the interviewer that you're taking the opportunity seriously. It also helps to look over standard job interview questions (such as "what are your strengths/weaknesses" and "where do you see yourself in X years") and prepare answers for them ahead of time. Moreover, don't be afraid to bring in a notepad during the interview and write down any important or relevant information, and don't hesitate to ask any questions about the job should you have any (again, it shows the interviewer that you've put a lot of thought and research into this).
>>9729Nicely done! And I'm glad to hear that you're doing well, Anon. ^^
>>9733Color me envious. I could really use a more slow-paced school schedule. While your lack of energy may be a result of your depression, it could also be a consequence of not getting enough sleep, or not drinking enough water, or not eating properly, or not getting enough of some vitamin (e.g. B-12), or due to a sedentary lifestyle, etc. Since, as you said, you have plenty of free time, perhaps you could go on a walk every couple of days (or whenever the weather is nice)? I've found that going for a solitary stroll on a sunny day can do wonders for my mood, if nothing else.
Regarding your concerns about your hypothetical coworkers, you could always report any harassment to your superiors, saying that it "disrupts your workflow" or something to that effect. Additionally, even if you aren't particularly social with them, if you do your best to work hard at your job, your coworkers will gradually grow to respect your dedication to your job, if nothing else.
>>9736>>9764Is there anything in particular that makes you hesitant to go to your classes?
No.9791
>>9737I admire your dedication to your goal. That's definitely good advice for subjects like math: The more practice problems you do, the better you understand the material. In the end, it all boils down to formulas and theorems; if you can understand them and the thought processes behind them, then the material that builds off of them is simple.
>>9767While I understand what you were trying to do through that, it's not exactly the best way to let people know that you're hurting. They might see the picture and think, "Oh, it looks like Anon recently re-watched The Emperor's New Groove" or something similar, rather than taking it as you not feeling well. Another problem with using a widely public platform like Facebook is that of the bystander effect, wherein a person, even if they notice that you're in pain, thinks to themself, "I feel kind of bad for Anon, but I've got so much other stuff to do. I'm sure someone else will help them out." This isn't a problem if only one person feels that way, but when EVERYONE assumes that "someone else" will help, no one ends up helping. Thus, approaching someone you trust directly is a more fruitful method.
At any rate, you're probably better off without a Facebook account. That website is a breeding ground for both narcissism and depression (since a user feels like everyone's listening to them, yet everyone seems to be happier and healthier than them, respectively), to say nothing of its deplorable treatment of the data and privacy of its users.
>>9779My experiences with websites like MySpace and Facebook have gone similarly. I've posted statuses, pictures, notes, links, and other such content, and received only a tremor of a response (if any) regardless of the number of "friends" I had. I disagree, however, with your conclusion. A lack of response to social media posts doesn't imply that no one cares about you. If anything, most of the people who use those websites are absorbed in how people are responding to their own posts, or in checking to see if anyone messaged them, and so forth. I'd wager that there are still many people who care about your well-being; they simply don't express it through "likes".
>>9786Do you have any sick days or vacation days remaining? Perhaps you should take a break from work for a few days and give yourself some time to relax. Plus, I'm sure that you can squeeze in some reading and video games in the evenings and weekends (or whenever you aren't working, really) if you set aside time for it beforehand. Also, if you're concerned about losing your present job, perhaps you should look around for other, hopefully more fulfilling jobs when you have the time.
No.9795
>>9790Thanks !kyoko. I just woke up and I had a really rough night last night (went to sleep at 5am and woke up at 4pm). I was planning on drowning my problems in alcohol as soon as I woke up, but I checked this board and your kind reply about procrastination motivated me to just drink coffee and study.
No.9796
>>9790holyshithikyo.
As for what keeps me from going to class, well, I don't like getting up and going to do anything. So I end up wasting the time I set up to get ready on surfing the internet instead. Once I become late by even a minute, I stress out and decide that not going would be better than the teacher's shameful gaze onto me, a late student.
As for the one class I haven't been to in 4 months, it's a 20 min walk at least with a 10 pound laptop on my shoulders to listen to stuff I already know from highschool. I'm not failing anyways. What's worse is that my laptop's battery is so sht that it can't actually make it through the whole class… (Sadly, the next semester looks like I'll have a class with that exact same problem too)
No.9798
Oh shit Kyo is back!
It's been like three weeks.
we missed you Kyo!
No.9803
>>9800Hey, that's pretty cool!
I wish you the best!
No.9804
I'm taking two classes now but I keep putting off registering for classes next semester so it might just be back to NEETery for me.
No.9808
>>9795Think nothing of it. I'm glad that I could help. ^^
>>9796Perhaps you could set a rule for yourself where you don't allow yourself to get on your computer in the time after you wake up and before you go to class? If you have more time than it takes to get ready for class each morning, then you can leave early and goof off on your computer once you get to the classroom. As for your laptop battery not lasting through your classes, perhaps you could bring your charger with you and sit next to an electrical outlet?
>>9798It's nice to talk with everyone again, but, unfortunately, I'm not out of the woods yet. I've got around 2 weeks of classes left, complete with projects, assignments, and tests. I'm in something of a lull at the moment, thank the stars, so I decided to see how things were going.
>>9800Congratulations on getting accepted! I'm confident that you'll be able to adapt to the changes in environment and pace. It may be intimidating now, but I assure you that it won't be nearly as bad as it seems once you actually start there.
>>9803That is one of the cutest .gifs I've ever seen. What's it from?
>>9804Is there any specific reason why you're putting off your class registration?
>>9807A small note: If you're looking to learn more, you should probably read your textbooks for your classes in addition to doing the coursework. Most classes are structured to where the emphasis is on making a good grade in the course rather than promoting your long-term understanding of the material. Thus, looking over the material on your own time in conjunction with the rest of the work should help you to retain your knowledge past the end of the class.
No.9810
>>9808
>That is one of the cutest .gifs I've ever seen. What's it from?Kill la Kill.
I'm not fond of that series but I found that gif in /a/ and since Izumi used a KlK image I decided to empathize my support with that.
No.9811
>>9790>That's one laid-back job. If I may ask, what do you do?I'm just maintenance at Wal-Mart.
I'm not sure if it's laid-back or if everyone is incredibly disorganized and lazy. Just last week I watched the training videos I should've seen on day one. I'm not exactly sure what all my job entails, and I've been doing it for months.
But I'm getting $$ so I can't really complain.
Anywho I am trying to figure out how to advance from here. I've got creative talent, but it's hard to settle for a single project and move forward. I know there are people out there making at least some money on webcomics and the like.
It would be good to be a NEET again.
No.9813
>>9808>Perhaps you could set a rule for yourself where you don't allow yourself to get on your computer in the time after you wake up and before you go to class? If you have more time than it takes to get ready for class each morning, then you can leave early and goof off on your computer once you get to the classroom.Y'see, this would sound reasonable except that half my classes ban computer use. So on certain days of the week morning and after-school are the only times I use the compy.
>As for your laptop battery not lasting through your classes, perhaps you could bring your charger with you and sit next to an electrical outlet?Would you fucking believe that class doesn't have one? A ROOM FOR 200+ STUDENTS AND NOT A SINGLE ONE!
No.9829
>>9808>Is there any specific reason why you're putting off your class registration?Other than general lack of motivation? No.
No.9830
Overtime gets to you. Some days and even weeks are just a blur. Taking certification courses on the side leaves even less downtime.
Bigger paycheck seems to mean bigger drain most of the time.
No.9836
Ah, I didn't expect such a warm reception. Thanks, everyone. ^///^ I honestly missed posting here and talking with all of you.
>>9811My suggestion would be to stick with your maintenance job until you've identified and fleshed out a solid idea for your at-home occupation, building up your savings all the while. Then, once you've established your webcomic (or whatever you end up producing), you can quit your job without having to worry about money for a time (or ever, should things go well enough).
>>9813>half my classes ban computer useThat's a shame. Do you have a smartphone that you could use instead?
>Would you fucking believe that class doesn't have one? A ROOM FOR 200+ STUDENTS AND NOT A SINGLE ONE!lol wut
That's completely ridiculous. Why would a room for such a large class have NO power outlets?
In any case, I still advise you to refrain from using your computer in the mornings, and instead wait until after your classes to get on it. That way, you won't have any troubles with idling on the Internet and making yourself late.
>>9829In that case, since you're only taking a couple of classes per semester, perhaps you could set aside 15-20 minutes for looking through the available classes and picking some? Keep in mind that the longer you wait after class registration opens, the fewer desirable class sections are available.
>>9830I know what you mean. When you're burdened with tons of assignments, your time evaporates as you scramble to complete all of them in time. You make good progress on something, only to glance at the clock and realize that you'll have to sacrifice sleeping time if you want to have leisure time.
Of course, that's to be expected with larger pay brackets. You're being paid more because you're performing more work for the company (in theory, at least). Out of curiosity, toward what sort of certification are you working?
No.9837
>Get unpaid job
>Working 9-5 for absolutely nothing, but can still claim unemployment benefit
>A few months later I get a proper job
>It's absolutely awful and I hate it but I stick with it
>After a few months my various mental health issues start acting up and I'm having to seek medical help more often, so I start being late to work
>Have to leave early/call in sick more frequently due to them
>Start to sort this stuff out and get back into working and being a good employee
>Suddenly a turn for the worst and I have to formally request a few weeks off
>They agree and I take the weeks off trying to get this all sorted because I'm obviously unfit for work
>Make no progress over these three weeks
>Go back and admit to them that I need more time off, and that I should probably quit and re-apply when everything's sorted
>They say it's fine, they completely understand, and my supervisor gets me out of having to hand in any notice (immediate quit)
>Quit, take time off
>Nothing gets better but I decide to man up and stop letting my depression and OCD get the better of me
>Go back to re-apply for my job with an agency a few months later
>Agency lady is really pleased and nice, gives my old employer a call
>They basically say 'no' and express how disappointed they are with me
>Now unemployed and hopeless
Worst part is that I was making good money. My mother gave me some money as a gift to pay for my education and help out with rent when I move out. I spent quite a bit of it like a complete idiot because buying things is the only time I feel happy (retail therapy is a good five-minute fix but it leaves you so much worse off). Now I have no money, and I'm still having to pay my parents rent. I've got about three weeks until they expect May's rent and I can't afford it, and since I technically quit my job with no legal proof that it was to help with my medical issues, I can't claim unemployment benefit.
If I can't get a job within a few weeks, I'll have to admit that spent all of the money she gave me. That will kill her. So now I'm really trying hard to get a job. I should be able to do it, but if I can't, I think I may actually have to kill myself. I can't survive if I get kicked out…
tl;dr: It's going badly, but it's my fault. I'll pull through, though. Gotta be optimistic!
No.9838
>>9837Also, on the plus side, I lent a colleague £95. I'm really hoping I can get them to pay me back. That would keep me safe for a month or two.
No.9839
>>9838Lending to your coworkers especially non-trivial amounts really isn't a good idea anon.
Best of luck with getting your money back though.
No.9909
I'm an hour late because I was busy
shitposting. I hope I get fired.
No.9938
>>9909I appreciate great compensation but sometimes also miss being a NEET.
Breaks are too short even though you can splurge. North America a suffering. Envy the European countries with a load of holidays and fewer standard working hours.
No.9942
>>9938Breaks are hell for me if I can't find a thread on some imageboard to keep me occupied. Confined to a lunchroom with shit food and loud employees. After about 5-10 minutes in, all of the voices can get overwhelming and meld together if I'm not occupied. The breaks here are just to comply with labor laws and take your money, no freedom included.
The pay is decent and I like being able to buy things, but I miss my NEETlife. I could at least use that time to improve my skills and look for an occupation (official or not) that I can actually enjoy.
No.9946
>>9942I meant more in terms of paid vacation days. 2-3 weeks paid seems about standard here and you only get like one statutory holiday a month.
No.9978
>>9800Don't know how you feel about it but what I do is if you're in a medical state, get some CBD strains or edibles. I take 10mg before class. The difference it makes is crazy. For example, I've gone almost all my classes this semester with no panic attack at all, yet I tried to go outside yesterday without one and had a panic attack within five minutes. The ones I get are called cheeba chew CBD, for around $15. They're better than actually smoking as you can just eat it before leaving for class and it will hit when you're in there, and it doesn't give you any actual high at all. Other than that, I find headphones and something to use in those times you have to wait for something like a phone or mp3 player or even a book. If you look like you're busy no one will talk to you. Though, try to make a couple of friends…
No.9981
I thought about finishing my associates degree. The only classes I have left to take were a gym and a math. However I hate math and last time I took it I failed miserably while my professor made statements such as "Even if god personally came to tutor you, at this point you wouldn't have a chance in hell to pass."
Yeah.
No.9984
>>9982Thats fucked up dude, im sorry you got cought up in this shit.
No.9987
>>9986How is this allowed? Where do you live…? Such things are a valid reason to call the police and sue for up to $5k here.
No.9988
>>9979D'aww your hate is adorable.
No.9989
>>9982That's incredibly fucked up, I'm so sorry you had to be around that… I know I'd be freaking out in that situation :/
Hope you can get out of there asap. That shit shouldn't be allowed.
No.9990
>>9987The reports can't be verified apparently. Besides, it's the police who are there supposedly to protect the protestors.
Oh, by the way, the holocaust imagery was on holocaust rememberance day yesterday.
Humans are fucking gross, yo.
No.9999
I don't know why you do it everytime you post something really thoughtful and philosophical but stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No.10000
>>9999you idiot you just got the 9999 get
at least I can claim this for Dormilia
No.10003
>>9999No Cirno get! I laugh in the face of all the /ot/ users that wanted to claim the next 9999 for Cirno.
No.10008
>>9999>no cirno get twiceFUCK YOU UBOACHAN I QUIT
>>10003stfu kyoko
No.10010
This isn't /ot/, please stay in line with the OP's topic.
No.10018
>>10008For the record, neither
>>9999 nor
>>10003 were me. As I promised, I steered completely clear of the 9999 get in /n/. Please stop and think before throwing out accusations. Thank you.
No.10019
>>10010but the board has "shitposting" in the title
No.10020
>>10019are you serious, or are you just pretending to be retarded?
No.10054
I've got a final project due in a couple days. Don't wanna do it, I'll pass even if I get a zero on it. Meh.
No.10137
>>9790haven't really got the time to give a proper answer, but your positive outlook and constructive advice were really something i needed a lot! Thank you for that
No.10151
To be honest, I never thought I'd reach the point where I don't even have the time/energy to open the figures and other merch I buy. Unopened boxes have piled up and I've stopped buying.
The real working world really is different from school without this kind of overtime or stress.
No.10158
>got suspended from college twice because I'm dumb
>been working at McDonalds for 3 years now
>shit job but got a decent raise for doing overnights with my old highschool buddy.
>going back to college in the fall
Over all it's not to bad I guess. I do need to move the fuck out and do something with my life soon though. Been out of highschool for 3 years already and haven't done anything important with my life yet. I'm pretty worried about college in the fall, I have a major problem with procrastinating and skipping class.
No.10160
I could possibly fail my Ap government class because the teacher fucked me over. Im really scared of not graduating from highschool. I know i can just go to summer school and test out of the class in a day or two, but i dont have the money since my mom has no income untill the end of june. If i tell my dad he is gonna flip out. I really hope it all works out ;_;
No.10161
>>10158Know that feel. I am so sure I will fail college again I feel that it's almost pointless to apply again… I want to get some help for this procrastination problem. I have been diagnosed with ADHD in the past, but this diagnose is now suspended during which I am doing more tests etc. I really don't want to use medication (ritalin) anymore, because though it definitely works, I am afraid I got too dependent on it, and that it worsened the symptoms when not using it. I am currently thinking about using nicotine patches. Anyone else here who had/has similar experiences?
No.10163
>>10161I'd love to get some ADHD medication but I don't like having to go through all the shit to get it. I think my anxiety prevents me from even telling my doctor about my problems. Even if I didn't take the medication I could make some good money selling it.
No.10187
Update on:
>>10161 ;
This: >>10186 was what has cond out of these psychological tests.
No.10194
I managed to get all online classes this time, thank goodness.
No.10281
I hate work. I hate work. I hate work. I hate it. Maybr it's the 1 1/2 hour transit, the fact that most of it's just keeping up appearances, maybe it's serving people, maybe it's my loud co-workers, or maybe it's just the feeling of being a wage slave. It pays for the BDs and all, but it doesn't feel worth it anymore. I want my free time back. I want to draw, learn moon, learn programming, catch up with my chinese cartoons, etc.
And to think I was glad when I finally got one.
No.10282
>>10281Do you think it will change much if you go back to being a NEET? I find that I eventually end up feeling the same emptiness in either domain after some time.
No.10321
I have 10 days of school left, and I am so close to giving up!
>I'm failing Chemistry (which is my worst class) and the final exam is coming up.
>Math is tedious and confusing
>In my information Tech class, we are having to make a portfolio for a job, but me being me, it's stupid to think I could even get a job
School is the main factor for my Depression, Social Anxiety, and Low Self-Esteem. School is also making me want to become a shut-in more and more with every passing day.
So to make a long shitpost shorter, School makes me hate everything and I want it to stop.
No.10323
>>10321Fucked up my first chem final this week. Have science final coming up this week. I am afraid I won't pass this year. I can't put myself to even start preparing in order to evade the feeling of despair. Literally scrolling down image boards, not even reading anything I scroll over.
Good luck anon! Try your best! I hope you'll make it! Don't give up hope! Be optimistic! Be positive! You'll get a job!
No.10324
Couldn't wait to graduate and start making the green. Maybe it's the overtime and lack of time to even spend the money for a good time… but I'm starting to actually miss university. Most of the time you were free to sleep and mess around until the midterm and exam crunch.
No.10337
>>10323>>10331This is
>>10321Seriously, thanks guys! I needed the motivation. I have an hour to actually do some work for a class, but i'm instead browsing Image-boards. I think I'll actually start some work now.
No.10339
>>10337:D still going strong? I am fighting against myself here. Time for another coffee. This is going to be a long night.
No.10340
>>10339I'll be here with you.
No.10341
>>10340Thank you, I am glad you're here! :) Time to focus and do it! No breaks for eating and dozing off anymore! No music anymore! Every page gets me closer to a pass! Are you preparing yourself for a test too? If so good luck! :) protip: put a band around your head covering your eyebrows so your eyes can't close
No.10342
Good luck to everyone.
I'm back to jobless so yeah.
No.10344
>>10341Now I want and need to sleep but I can't close my eyes. What if I'll fuck it all up again?
>>10342 thanks! I feel sorry you lost your job. How do you feel yourself about it? How did it happen and what's next?
No.10345
>>10342I'm sorry to hear that.
How are you and Lycuria doing any how? We haven't heard from you in quite a long time.
No.10350
>>10331Not that guy but in a similar situation and your post really helps. Atleast I only have 2 more weeks till finals, then after than I can just collapse and not leave my house for 2 months. Can't wait :)
No.10365
>>10360I have the same experience. It's part of a soothing feeling i get when browsing imageboards ;_;
No.10381
>>10344I asked for more hours because I wasn't making enough to sustain myself with the hours I was given.
That was my reply. To be laid off next cleansing despite the work I've done for them and the shit I put up with. As for what's next I have no idea.
>>10345Depressed. As for Lycuria and I we've been disjointed and it's nobody elses fault but my own.
No.10395
>>10360It's different for me. Ever since I leechblocked every other imageboard besides ubuu and started being busy every day, time disappeared as opposed to just going by kind of fast. I get really immersed in whatever I'm doing, and suddenly it's time to go to bed.
The upside is that my days are varied, distinguishable from each other. Whereas before… weeks would pass, and, nothing really. I'm lucky that I developed a habit of keeping a daily log early on. I started it because I thought I could make time go slower. It didn't help with that, but now I know that I watched All About Lily Chou-Chou on July 6, 2012 (and can instantly recall the memories, feelings associated with that moment). So with that, I have proof that my life had its own interesting elements despite myself and everyone else thinking otherwise. It's just that now it's much more obvious.
How to make time go slower, I still don't know. Maybe one day we will all learn.
No.10404
>>10282Yes. After a month or so, I basically have everything I want, but free time. I only got a job to prove I could do so, without lying on a resume or interview, and save face with family. It really gets to me when I often have to work 8-10 days straight. 6 hours of work plus 1 1/2-2 hour commute, making it around 10 hours. It's mostly work, an episode or two of anime, sleep, morning hygiene, eat, some anime, work, repeat. No time for drawing, making music, making significant project on learning moon, or other constructive things. I hate it and I'm afraid it'll only make me miserable. I didn't feel miserable when I was NEET.
No.10408
>>10405Was it a professional jewel thief?
No.10447
>>10435At first I refused to go outside and just applied to shit like Target, Best Buy, etc online. Then I started going on Craigslist and applied for jobs there. Went out for an interview one or two times. I live in NY so there are places to apply anywhere. I finally got a job, but I think it was only because I had a reference from my only friend that works there. That or it being seasonal. It was especially tough since I was already out of school for two years with nothing to show for it and had no experience with anything at all.
No.10456
>>10447 it's likely because you knew someone at the workplace. Most people tend to get jobs because they do. When my dad was applying for an apprenticeship with the council ages ago, he was only 2 of 15 successful applicants that didn't know someone there already.
No.10471
>>10435You have to know someone who works there or, better yet, know the person who is hiring/managing/owner.
That's how I got my job. Its right near my house so I can just go there and back
No.10472
>>10471i dont understand the point of knowing someone to get a job
i dont know anybody besides people online, and i need a job soon
No.10475
>>10472You're seriously fucked, then.
No.10476
>>10472Unfortunately, the way it works is people like to trust those they know. They figure if a person they trust vouches for someone else, that person must be good. They're more eager to take a change on someone who someone they know has said is good vs a stranger who just says he is good. Its also why you usually have to put references and old work when you apply, because then they know you were good enough for other people to keep you on and even recommend. Think about it like when you want to buy something, usually you check the reviews right? Its really unfair to those who don't have any connections though, and of course you need those connections and experience to get jobs. Its a bad circle. Just apply everywhere, usually most places even if you go in person they'll just tell you to apply online. You could also check craigslist or other job sites like that, or maybe an agency, if only for experience. Oh and be sure to call back a few days after, call the manager and ask how about your application. Sometimes you get lucky and manage to fall through the cracks into a crappy job that you can stay at and make more connections to other jobs. Good luck anon, outside isn't meant for people like us, but that doesn't mean we should stop trying.
No.10482
How much connections matter depend on the organisation. Organisations with really high turnover (a lot of crap jobs, essentially), it often doesn't matter so much as there aren't enough people with connections to fill the vacancies.
Similarly, large organisations (both many goverment orgs and large corporates) have a heavy involvement by Human Resources. Recruitment here is often fairly competitive but its generally more likely to at least involve something resembling a fair process. Of course, getting through this might mean months of sending out dozens of personalised applications per week, but thats just how it goes.
Plus, of course, everywhere else doesn't fill every vacancy with insiders. You've always got a chance if you apply. I'd give more general advice on jobs but this is already long and this isn't the thread.
No.10486
>>10472It's nepotism. Humans help humans they know over other humans - and their family above all others.
No.10491
>>10486It being what it is doesn't help any of us who aren't socially adept.
No.10531
Year ago I got back into school after few years of being neet. Incidentally I stopped lurking uboa for that time as well.
During this time I found some things I enjoyed, like mathematics, physics, Magic; the Gathering, D&D. Gave me some motivation, but this isn't still working out.
Welcome me back when I quit guys, shouldn't take too long.
No.10532
So what's the best website to look for part-time entry-level job?
No.10543
>>10532Craigslist? That's all I really know about.
No.10553
Supposed to correct exam papers today. Wanted to get at least 12 more done. Wanted to drive to my office for proper work atmosphere. When I got there, I realized I'd forgotten my code card and keys. I drove home again and now I sit here drinking, alternating between anger and indifference.
No.10847
>>10846Stomach settled down, so I decided to go. Called supervisor when I was close and told them I was running late, and they told me to not come in (not the superviser's fault, the company's policies get more retarded every day).
This happened when I was getting somewhat comfortable with the hourly-wage life. I guess it was a good and necessary wake-up call. Guess I'll go home, draw, and practice moon grammar and kanji.
No.10848
>>10847This is going to sound silly and strange.
For me the last 2 days i had so many random unlikely things happen in an aligning pattern that i think things are planned in some divine way, well i had that suspicion quite a while and its not the first time some real crazy shit happened to me.
I hope things turn out for you positive aswell.
No.10849
>>10408no, it was someone who wanted to sell stolen crap on craigslist
No.10851
>>10850You're getting paid minimum wage for a tech job filled with what sounds like highschoolers? Sheesh, internships really do suck ass don't they?
Your boss pranked you? How so?
… Yeah I probably shouldn't be asking this but what exactly was suicidal_breakdown v1.0 like? That's pretty fucking self-explanatory I know but I still can't help but be curious. There's a portion of my brain that never ceases to be interested by the improbably terrible kinds of experiences that surround certain people. You could write an autobiography and I'd feel guilty for reading a lot of it, especially if I asked you to write it, but that part of me would be pretty content. Wow I probably should've ended the spoiler a couple lines ago but whatever. Weeeeeeeeeeee! No.10853
>>10851He gave me an entire sheet of code that didn't work on purpose and made me figure out what was wrong with it. I suppose in a way it's a good no-nonsense method of teaching, and many of the people in this program end up landing high level jobs at Microsoft and Google, but I could deal greatly without the humiliation aspect.
>what exactly was suicidal_breakdown v1.0 like?About a year or two ago, before I balanced my meds, I went through this phase of constant suicidal swings that involved missing a lot of school and even trying to wander into the streets at 1 am in my pajamas to try and find a bridge to jump off of, which ultimately ended in me crashing into NEETdom. I'm afraid this is just going to be a constant pattern of working and going batshit until I finally become full NEET and live off of disability and whatever job/school I can find from home. I just don't think I can work like a normal person, I'm damaged goods.
No.10854
>>10853Well, not that it really means much since I don't exactly share your degree of mental fuckery but I doubt I'll handle being a working adult very well either. I've never been able to keep a consistent sleep schedule and I have next to no self-discipline. While I enjoy my NEETdom I do feel increasingly like I'm ultimately just avoiding the sorts of experiences I've regretted not having for years, and am just being a leech, which is enjoyable but also boring and makes life seem kind of pointless.
I remember you vaguely mentioning how you're thankful that you at least get a fair amount of support from your father; would I be correct in assuming that you're still living with him and have to help pay bills?
No.10856
>>10850Wow, that behavior is disgusting and I'm so sorry
No.10899
>>10850>people kept calling me "she" and "ma'am" after thatWhy?
No.10907
>>10856It isn't disgusting behavior actually, it's called being social instead of an introverted nerd that posts about their problems on uboachan.
No.10908
>>10906I'm pretty new to this board and haven't gotten to know any tripfags yet, why did you decide to become a trans?
No.10909
>>10907No, it's pretty disgusting and insensitive even by normie standards. You're just a cunt.
No.10911
>>10906Goddamn. That's happened to me a few times and it was pretty bad, can't imagine how it must be when you get assholes joking about your genitals afterward. Sorry to hear.
So, you do at least pass somewhat well as masculine normally, right? How about voice-wise?
No.10917
>>10906That's so weak… I never understood what everyone's fucking deal with standing up to piss if you can was. I have a peepee but I still sit down when I go just because I'm lazy and don't want to stand if I don't have to.
No.10918
>>10917Macho bullshit like this permeates western culture. Men are under constant fear of appearing "weak", and have an extremely narrow range of socially acceptable behaviors.
Traditional gender roles have been dismantled for women, but are taken to ridiculous extremes for men.
No.10923
>>10854>I have next to no self-discipline>I do feel increasingly like I'm ultimately just avoiding the sorts of experiences I've regretted not having for yearsI have the same problems. I can always find a reason to abandon any commitment I make.
Quit my job because stress
stopped attending college because I am unable to focus on anything
moved in with my Dad so I could take it easy.
I want to get back into school but I'm afraid of commitment and failure
No.10943
I tell my parents I've been applying to jobs but I haven't applied since 2013. It's getting difficult to keep my story straight. I've fake-applied to a lot of companies and I have to tell them about the fake-rejections. Also I'm afraid of accidentally fake-applying to the same place twice in a short period of time.
No.10944
>>10943Why not send real applications? I mean why the effort if you can just mail paper crap instead, knowing you get rejected already.
No.10975
>>10908No worries, I kinda disappeared for awhile anyways. I've always had a great bodily discomfort in hindsight, but I started questioning my gender around 7th grade and buried it for awhile until it flared back up with a vengeance in later high school years. I have no doubt in my mind that I have a male brain and a body that does not suit it.
>>10911I pass well enough in a "too flat and unfeminine to be a gril, must be a dude" kind of way. I'm pre-T so it's still pretty obvious and many a time I will get mistaken for a butch lesbian, but I've found most people avoid pronouns and references to my gender altogether and wait for me to clear things up because I'm so androgynous. It'd be pretty funny if it weren't also for the fact that I get stared at and whispered about like I'm some sort of wild deer. For fuck's sake, just ask me. I don't care, I'm not gonna get ~muh feelins~ hurt, because I'm not fucking Tumblr. I'd rather have curiosity than outright malicious behavior.
>How about voice-wise?I've always had a fairly wide voice range so it's not /too/ difficult to speak from the chest and sound, at the very least, not like a girl, but the problem is I still squeak and have an overall higher tone. God, I wish I was on T so I could become glorious baritone.
>derailing thread to talk about ~trans problems~S-Sorry about that.
No.10980
>>10975I wouldn't worry about that too much. I wish I had a nice Ian Curtis-y baritone but I don't, and I'm a boy.
>It'd be pretty funny if it weren't also for the fact that I get stared at and whispered about like I'm some sort of wild deer. For fuck's sake, just ask me. I don't care, I'm not gonna get ~muh feelins~ hurt, because I'm not fucking Tumblr. I'd rather have curiosity than outright malicious behavior.Well shit. It's a shame that you're considered abnormal in a way that means you're associated in the minds of others with a group of retarded, child-like asses that get offended by things no healthy person would. The behavior of tumblr-type people isn't the least significant reason I'm glad I'm not trans.
No.10985
I haven't had a job in 5 years.
I am desperate to find a way to make money online or I will probably kill myself.
No.10988
>>10985I havent had a job at all, but otherwise im in the same boat right now.
I need the money for dope or im going to break down soon.
No.11078
>>10985I'm currently on government bux and before that I lived off my savings for 2.5 years. In hindsight it was pretty shitty to have wasted the equivalent of about $15.000 on withdrawing myself from society, but the govbux comes with the demand that I get a job eventually. I probably will rejoin the work force in a few months from now. The thought of having to having to work again is depressing, to say the least.
No.11079
>>11078I myself am getting an income from government monies as well, and like you say it's for hopes to get a job, too. Though I spend it on silly things but I MOSTLY use it to get important essentials.
Still, I may save some of it for when I decide to go to college someday, in the near distant future.
No.11089
>>11088What is that image from?
No.11091
>>11089Somersault! 2
I was disappointed after finding out it was just an h-doujin.
No.11096
>>11090>>11092Well, after busing downtown in 86 degree weather only to find out that the asshole canceled on me and won't be back until Wednesday, I think that was the final straw. Clearly they didn't care about me enough to tell me they wouldn't be there, so I'm just gonna give up on the whole situation. I did my part; if they want to try and contact me, it's on them. My family didn't seem to give much of a reaction, so I'm guessing that's my green light to take it easy - at least for a little while.
Man, I missed being NEET.
No.11097
>>11096Good thing you are free of that crappy work, though I have to admit I'm really impressed there is so much shitty people there where you live.
Man seriously, what is wrong with them?
Also, I recommend you to get somebody to support you right now. It may seem like nothing, but feeling like no one gives a fuck about you can hurt unconsciously more than one would think. Either a IRL friend or an online buddy.
No.11099
>>11088>CuttingTrash. Go vent your underage anger on Tumblr.
No.11105
>>11096Good luck, i youl have a good time and things work out.
No.11114
Ooooh I am so done. So fucking done. Gotta wake up at 03:30am every single morning for 12 days straight. Gotta mow the same places, deal with the same problems, the same faceless retarded and gossiping co-workers, the same retarded boss, and have to fake happiness and interest in all of it.
I'm so fucking done.
In a week and a half, I'll have enough money to pay for my tuition and I'll have a few hundreds as spending money. I'm quitting.
I'm leaving this hell hole soon… I think. It's all going to be the same in college, and at any other job isn't it ? Fuck… I'm so sick of it all. This world, it's people… So sick of it. Lock me in a 4x4 room, give me internet, and feed me twice a day. Is that too much to ask ? I don't need friends, I don't need human contact, just those things. May WWIII purge this hell.
No.11119
>>11096Well if nothing else maybe the total lack of concern on your boss' part might make it more clear to your family how shitty the internship is. I hope things go well for you.
>>11097This would probably help.
No.11138
>>11099This isn't even worthy of being called b8. It's more like you stuck a crouton on the end of a fishing hook and wondered why it got soggy and fell off.
>>11097I live in a big ass hippie city where everyone thinks your problems will be solved by cutting gluten and meat out of your diet and going on a 5 mile hike in the pouring rain. It's to be expected. You'd think progressiveness would lead to these people understanding mental illness and trans issues on a more comprehensive level, but I've found that most of their social liberalism ends where the "hard" issues begin.
Thankfully, though, I do still have a few friends here. Even if my job was a bust, there's quite a few trans people working there that kind of took me under their wings, and my counselor's still helping me through most of this. So I think I'll be okay.
No.11144
>>11138>It's more like you stuck a crouton on the end of a fishing hook and wondered why it got soggy and fell off.You have no idea how hard I just laughed at that analogy.
No.11150
>>11138I know what you mean by that, I live in a similar place and much of my family has that mindset. kind of funny how ironically selfish they are and how much cognitive dissonance they can carry in their meager skulls.
As long as you're different in some hip or seemingly superficial way then they're perfectly accepting, as far as meaningless acceptance goes, but god forbid you have some sort of mental issue or have a healthy sense of judgement.
No.11151
Bad. I wanted to go back to school ot get my GED but my agoraphobia relapsed so I' couldnt leave my house in 4 years. I'm really sick and I might die before then but hopefully I'll be able to go to the doctor soon.
No.11229
>>9555We should all get away from here some how.
No.11231
>>9736dude, you could've had bible study with a loli…
No.11233
i've appled online for a bunch of supermarkets and retail stores, and i still haven't got a response
i'm enrolled in a course at uni which i have done nothing for in 18 months, if i don't get a job in 6 months i'm fucked
No.11234
>>11233Try applying to large chains near the beginning of October. That's when they start increasing their workforce by ~300% for the Christmas season, and they take almost everyone who applies during that time. They'll probably lay you off in January though.
No.11369
Meetings at work tomorrow to discuss "issues with my performance". Incredible stress. Can't see this as anything but the first step towards a disciplinary, which is a slope towards doom of course.
I really hope I can clear it all up and have it all be fine again in a month or two. I really can't handle another failure in my life, this job is OK and I think I would really struggle if I get fired.
No.11374
I just found out that the university I'm applying to has run out of space for readmitted students…so I have no idea what to do now…
No.11380
>>11374Go in person and talk about possibilities of them letting you in. When they see that someone cares they could make an exception. That's what happened to me. Even though I quit a month in.
No.11394
So, despite my and everyone else living in this house having all inclusive contracts, none of the bills have been paid. The electricity and gas will be cut off in a matter of days.
Aside from having to suddenly move, I'm now worried that if baliffs arrive with a court order before I do they might take my things as well.
Fucking landlords.
No.12022
Gave up on looking for a job, doing nothing at home until my parents eventually get mad and kick me out.
It is what it is, maybe one day a job will fall to me from the sky that I'll actually be motivated to do.
No.12028
>>12025Maybe you just need a little something to help you keep focused. It can make all the difference.
Are you getting enough sleep? After you drinking enough water? Is your daily routine norma?(Wake up in morning, go to sleep when sun sets)? Are you eating a balanced breakfast of enough protein/carbs?
Try fixing those, as small as they can be they make a huge difference in your mood, attitude and alertness.
If not, try taking some smart drugs. Perhaps all you need is just a cup of joe in the morning or maybe caffeine powder taken in the morning.
Best of luck.
No.12029
>>12028I keep hearing this thing about waking up in the morning and going to sleep at night. That just makes me feel utterly tired and I never want to wake up on "time". Why do people parrot this as some Grand Truth?
No.12033
>>12029Personally, and for a lot of other people as well feel sluggish when they stay up until 4 am and even when they sleep 8-10 hours they're still kind of tired and have no energy.
The main thing is that its natural for your body, your melatonin production is correct that way as well other things, similarly to how parts of the world that are constantly winter/dark have much higher percentage of suicide/depression because it messes with your body and makes you unhappy and lethargic.
No.12034
>>12033Kinda wanna see studies or something. Maybe I'm a statistical outlier or something. My "normal" sleep cycle has me heading to sleep somewhere between 4 and 7am depending on how tired I am from the day and waking up in the early afternoon. Anything outside of that leaves me feeling ultra tired and generally shitty.
No.12036
>>12034Of course your mileage my vary, some people need a bit more sleep, some need a bit less but generally around 8 hours. It's also possible that you've just gotten used to be sleep deprived but whatever feels right for you is good.
If something in your life isn't going correctly that means you need to adjust something. Don't just keep doing the same thing if its not working lol, but do give everything a fair shot
http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/need-sleep/whats-in-it-for-you/moodhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_sleep_deprivation_on_cognitive_performance No.13610
I've left the Vomitive Shithole for about 5 months and now I'm back. I have managed to get my first job in the meantime! NEETdom was overrated and enduring it for over a year was really wearing me out.
It's a shitty, soul-crushing assembly line job that only requires a pulse and a partially working brain, but I've come to appreciate how by limiting my free time, it pushes me to spend it in productive ways, being as creative as possible to counteract the brain-melting tedium I experience every day at work.
During my NEET days, my time felt unlimited, and was therefore worthless. Today, my time is valuable. The money I earn is a nice bonus, too.
Who knows what future brings. But for the first time in a long while, I feel like I'm slowly inching forward in life instead of staying still and decaying.
I just need to make every minute count.
No.13611
(1 of 2)
Not sure how much I've talked specifically about my education (aside from occasional vent posts about the evil nuns at this catholic university), but I'm an Early Childhood Education major in the final stretch of my 3rd year at college, and things are going much better right now than they were at this time last year. I sort of became a little stubborn and selfish and fought the college to pursue some goals and do things in a way that was off the beaten path.
My adviser wanted me to take Spanish because it was convenient and it was what everyone else usually did. Around last spring, I was sort of looking at the lives of adults around me and realizing so many of them were unhappy because they settled when they were young. On relationships and marriages, on jobs and careers, and on their education. It was like I was having a mid-life crisis at age 20. Basically there were lots of flowery speeches about ~my dreams~ and putting more priority in my happiness (and getting diagnosed and medicated for anxiety). Also broke it off with my boyfriend of 4 years because I realized that I just don't really feel romantic feelings or want to be tied down with a relationship.
And there have been repercussions, I was unable to take a certain fall-only class in my major because I had fought to get permission to take Japanese courses at the other university in town. So because of this, I'm going to take at least 5 years to graduate, as apposed to the "normal" convenient standard of 4 years. I really don't get why the entire university is having a melt down because I need an extra year. My family was completely behind me until they realized we were gonna have to pay a whole extra year of tuition, and my scholarship that covers half the cost is only good for 4 years. Oops.
I'm trying to make the best of it by filling the big empty year-long gap where there's gonna be no classes in my major left for me to take by starting an art minor. And I'm enjoying it. I'm not that great, but I'm dabbling in everything. Right now, I'm taking Japanese II, Drawing I, Ceramics, Printmaking, and Computer Graphics. I figure it will be useful to take a little bit of a bunch of different art forms, since I'm gonna be an elementary school teacher. Most schools don't have the funding for specialized art teachers, so the general classroom teachers are in charge of all art lessons and projects these days. So, the art minor can be my edge on my application.
It's also been a nice confidence builder and de-stresser. I'm a lot more comfortable with the students in the art department than my peers in the education department. I'm having a little trouble accepting praise on my work, it's a little hard to say "thank you" instead of "no, it's not good at all, you're wrong."
But I'm learning. I'm glad I'm doing this. I'm talking to people more, and I'm being more myself in classes, joking around and being silly, even when there's nobody that I already know around.
No.13612
>>13611(2 of 2)
And uh, the elephant in the room: the Japanese courses.
Of course you all know I'm weeaboo trash. And I'm so embarrassed when I have to talk about this, but I'm thinking that I want to teach in Japan for a year or two (or longer or forever) after I graduate.
It's almost impossible to get hired in the area I live without any teaching experience, but it's COMPLETELY impossible to get any teaching experience without being hired. It's a vicious cycle that results in dozens and dozens of education majors graduating and not getting a teaching position for years and years. Sometimes never. We blow a fortune on our degree and then we're unable to use it.
But there's always a need for teachers abroad, especially to teach English. So, I thought, I'm gonna pursue this. I'll see if I can teach English to elementary students in Japan for a few years after I graduate. And then when I come back to America, I'll have a few years of teaching experience on my resume. Teaching experience IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY. That will look so good to employers, right? It will be much more likely for me to get a teaching position here, then.
It's a wild impossible dream, but I think I'm gonna go for it. Instead of playing it safe and failing, I'm gonna play it dangerous…and then probably still fail.
But my college supports that idea at least, they're always trying to get students to study or work abroad. It makes the University look better. "Look where are students have gone!". I've talked to many people who have done the same thing and they've all encouraged me and said it was the best thing to ever happen to them. So, screw it. I'm gonna try. The worst that can happen is I fail, and I was probably gonna be failed by the system anyway.
Its scary and some nights I lose sleep to financial fears and doubts about if I can even become a teacher and then I start thinking I'm going to be the worst teacher in the history of the world and ruin any children who end up in my class.
But I try not to think that far ahead and go one day at a time. I screw up paperwork constantly and make so many mistakes, but I think overall I'm a good person and a good student and I think I'm going to have a good future.
If I can teach in Japan, it will fulfill so many dreams at once. I won't just get to become a teacher or go to Japan, I'll get to have both dreams. I'll get to go to Japan and be paid to be there. Instead of saving up money for a year to visit Japan for a week, I'll be paid to work there as a teacher for a year. One dream will help me fufill the other.
I laugh at 13 year olds who are like "Japan is so perfect and amazing I'm going to go to Japan when I grow up and become the world's best mangaka!" because of their ignorance. I know Japan isn't some perfect utopian place. It's probably not much better than where I am now, but at least it's different. A change of pace. An adventure. And I think that being a teacher isn't that impossible of a goal.
I'm gonna do my best to hang in here at college and work hard. I'll try to become decent in my art courses and stuff, and stop screwing up everything else so much. I can barely look my adviser in the eye these days, but maybe someday she'll be glad that she let me do these things. I think her mindset right now is "well, go ahead and try, but when it doesn't work, don't blame me. I warned you".
It's not even just about japan or art, I just wanna do SOMETHING with my life and have some fun now, and hopefully have more fun in the future. I wanna do something kind of special so in a few years people will be like "wow! You did that? That's cool!" instead of "Oh you studied education. I see." "Ah. You're a teacher. That's good". or even "You can't find a position? yeah my sister went for education and she never got hired either". I don't want to become mundane and I DEFINITELY don't want to become a failure. I don't want to be middle aged and married to a man I don't really love because I settled and stayed because it was convient. I don't want to be an unemployed teacher like my sister-in-law, I don't want to be married to an asshole I don't like anymore like my mother, and I don't want to be unhappy with my chosen career like my oldest brother is, and I don't want to be a NEET like my other older brother. (no offense NEETS but I think with the way my self-esteem works, I'd dissolve from guilt)
So yeah college is great!
No.13613
>>13612part 3 because I forgot about something:
Oh my god college is like training in the hyperbolic time chamber my body has gone through hell
Tuesdays and Thursdays I have 9 hours of class with no breaks in between. A class from 12 to 3, then a class from 3 to 6, followed by a class from 6 to 9. I don't have time to eat lunch some days and I'm exhausted when I get home. Mondays and wednesdays are a little easier, only 6 hours with no break! hahaha…
I had a mild case of frostbite last year around this time from walking on campus, that was fun!
I was about 110 pounds when I entered college and now I'm 94 pounds. I eat like I'm pac-man and I haven't exercised on purpose in 2 years.
I'm always broke too since I haven't been able to work in over a year, I can't keep up with a job and college now. Why does food cost money why why why please uboachan send me food
I get dizzy and lightheaded constantly in class, and sometimes it's hard to sketch the model in drawing class because I'm seeing spots and the floor is spinning.
It's not as bad in reality as it sounds when it's written out, but woooooooo holy crap it would be nice to not constantly feel like I'm on a boat.
Also I recently turned 21. I don't drink or plan on it (I don't wanna get any dizzier) but wowee I'm 21.
No.13615
>>13613There's so much energy in that post that it even motivated me a little. Hope everything will go fine for you and that you won't burn your wings in the process.
Education interests me a bit but it's mostly because I don't want to quit practicing abstract science bullshit. It seems my reasons differ a lot there since I would want to teach to high school/college students. What are your reasons for wanting to become a teacher?
No.13616
>>13615I wish you luck with your science! Please invent many robots and rocketships and wormholes and theories.
As for me, it was just like…First day of preschool "hey Booger-chan what do you wanna be when you grow up?" "A TEACHER!"
and I just never changed my mind. When I was that young, I think it was because I loved school so much. As I got older and endured bullying and teachers that were unhelpful, it made me want to be a good teacher so I could help kids like myself.
Also I love kids and I get along with them well. In the classrooms I've already done field work in, I've been super popular. I've had lots of kids start calling me "Aunt Jessie" or even say that I "act like a big sister". It's really sweet.
No.13617
>>13615>There's so much energy in that post that it even motivated me a little.That's why we like ol' booger, always motivating ubuuchonners.
Btw boogz, you misspelled 12 as "21".
As for me, I've been sitting in college in the back side of the room, expecting there wouldn't be annoying people. In fact, I thought there wouldn't be any annoying people in my classes, since I'm studying electronic engineering, so, jesus christ, why is RIGHT BEHIND ME a fucking hookup place or something? It's been 2 consecutive days where a girl and a dude has been chatting about STUPID CRAP and flattering each other with retarded compliments.
I feel like Irisu, I want them to die so badly.
Goddamnit I'm trying to math right here, why do you sluts have to talk about Aquarius being compatible with Geminis and Cancer being annoying and this shit about cellphones FUCKING SHIT JESUS CHRIST GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF.
So yeah, I'm doing well, I think.
No.13619
>>13618lol sorry boogz, but it's been so long since the last time I've joked with that that I couldn't contain myself.
Can't believe you're 21 already, that just makes me realize I'm getting older too.
No.13620
>>13619asserting my age on uboachan against 12 jokes…just like the good ol' days.
Here uboachan, have a premium one-time-only fresh selfie: 21-year-old edition. For old times sake. Before I disappear for a year again.
No.13621
>>13620A… another year? Oh, alright…
Byebye, Booger. We'll miss you!
No.13622
well, im in my second semester freshman year of art school, and losing ((well, failing to maintain, w/e)) friends and mental stability fast enough that im back here after like 3-3.5 years so like, theres that.
No.13630
I visit a local university sometimes because I know a few people there. To be honest, I don't feel that great around them. Or anybody. At all. Leaving my room is suffocating. Every time I return from an expedition IRL, I swear on my life that I'll never go outside again but that small glimmer of hope I haven't stamped out yet paints possibilities of a better future, and somehow I find myself trying, once more. I'm so tired of being dragged around by it.
I'm sorry but it really feels like I'll never escape this hell. I've just messed up really badly in this life and racked up too many personal problems. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to experience what it's like to be in a relationship. What it's like to have friends that care about me. What youth is like beyond the computer screen. What chasing dreams is like.
I kind of went way off topic here but I am 21 currently and there is no way I could go to school in my state. And yet, time is dripping away… and I only have myself. Useless collection of broken behaviors and broken emotions. Honestly…
No.13631
>>13630I'd say only do it if you're really interested in the subject. Because there comes a time when you will have exhausted all coursework and have to choose a Masters supervisor and topic. Then you're expected to be in a lab or office with other people all day. You need to have meetings with your supervisor, and the department may even try to force you into supervising undergrad labs.
No.13640
>>13617>So yeah, I'm doing well, I think.Forget this shit, I have a test this thursday on a subject I quite can't understand well yet. The week has just started, and it's actually the second since I'm going to my classes, but it's already hell.
Anxiety is killing me, my nerves are fucking frying, new subjects add just like that and I have to cut my hours even more so I can study, also this book I'm supposed to read where "all the info you need is here" is complete SHIT. And those bitches talking all day is just more pleasure for my nerves.
I have to add I'm a complete disaster when it comes to organization or anything so this is just building up more stress and I feel like I've lost the light leading the way. lol i don't even know anymore.
Dear Buddha, why wasn't I born with a little more of confidence on myself? Why why why is life suffering, you dirty motherfucker.
My hands are trembling and my neck is killing me, almost like somebody was ripping off my muscles with their bare hands. I think I'm losing it, there are only 2 days of difference between my last post and this one.
The worst thing is that this isn't even a serious matter and I know odds are that I'm overreacting too much but I can't stop it.
No.13641
>>13620Bye Booger ;_; it was nice to see you again
No.13643
>Have a huge test tomorrow
>Failing
>Missed the financial aid deadline
>Posting here
Why am I so awful at this living thing?
No.13716
>work to do
>fucked up sleep
>feel like shit all day erry day
>posting here
Someone was talking about momentum, but I keep getting stuck before I start to get the ball rolling. How do you get over that roadblock?
No.13730
>>13716Standing there until you grow tall enough to climb over it.
Bashing your head against it when it's made from solid rock isn't going to work.
No.13747
>>9555
>Miss a lot of days>Often late for class>Skip a lot>Never study, grades dropped tremendously last exams>Giving up on things, growing tired of it all.I think I might have depression or something at this point.
No.13748
>>13747Or maybe you are lazy and unmotivated.
Depression would be if you have lost the will to live pretty much.
No.13749
>>9555I wrapped up my PhD about a year ago, currently unemployed and seeking a job. Can't say I enjoy it too much, days are really starting to blend into each other and giving a hand with the family business isn't really helping much.
Goes without saying that I have, of course, blown any chance ever to get NEETbux or autismbux kinda hard to convince people I need help when I have two masters and a PhD in my curriculum, even after explaining that both were essentially the fruit of deep compulsion and years-long sperging out.
No.13751
>>13748One can be depressed without being suicidal, fucknugget.
No.13752
>>13751Depression is the lose of motivation or will to keep going in life. It's pretty much an "I want to die" feeling.
True, one may feel like dying, but that wouldn't mean the person really wants end their life. However, one thing is feeling down, and other different is being depressed. Suicidal thoughts are common in depression.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_%28mood%29>People with depressed mood can feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, ashamed or restless. They may lose interest in activities that were once pleasurable, experience loss of appetite or overeating, have problems concentrating, remembering details or making decisions, and may contemplate, attempt or commit suicide.(If you go "OMG WIKIPEDIA" then have official DSM-IV's word in Depression Disorders
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK64063/ , Number 9: "Recurrent thoughts of death")
Many people tend to misuse the word "depression" so much that it has almost lost its real meaning. I'm guessing the other anon is just down and tired of everything (or lazy, as the other anon suggested), but since there no more clues as to guess what is the cause and how deep it is, I can't really tell exactly what it is.
In any case, I don't think "depression" is the right word here, but it isn't mean to be taken literally anyway, so…
No.13798
Recently graduated, double majored in Math and Physics.
Turns out the advice I heard all along of "Who wouldn't want to hire a math major? You can do anything!" was dead wrong and I have no real skills. Tried to apply to some places, no luck, gave up.
Now I'm taking CS classes online with Udacity, except I'm lazy and shit and have barely done anything for two months while I feed off of my parents' support, but I know they won't do it for long.
Without going to classes and very few friends, the relative lack of human contact is slowly chipping away at me.
No.13799
>>13798Have you considered becoming a teacher in the meantime?
No.13811
>>13799Not really, I'm not sure how I would go about doing that without getting a certification.
That said, I'm planning on applying for JET and other ELT programs in Japan. I figured it would be a good way to make some money and travel, while still having the opportunity to take online classes.
No.13813
>>9722This
It's starting to become overwhelming lately
Yesterday I went home at noon and today I spent most of my shift hiding in the wood shed
No.13814
I'm getting used to my job.
It's mindless, yeah, but that means I have my mind all to myself… not that I use it for much.
No one talks to me, they have no reason to, because my performance is good, and I don't talk to them. I've found ways to relax while there, too.
At this point it feels like I willingly do menial work in my free time to take a break from the internet. I'm physically there, yet mentally insulated from reality.
My days no longer feel like a blur. I feel there is so little time off work to do stuff that actually matters, that I actually start to get off my ass and work on getting interesting things done.
No.13832
>>13831Uh, have you considered just not attending? If it's a math course there's little reason why you wouldn't be able to subsist with the lecture slides and text.
No.13836
>>13832Grade drops after 3 absences and keeps dropping with each additional one
No.13837
>>13752.
>Suicidal thoughts are common in depression.By saying this, you imply that there are forms of depression in which a person has
no suicidal thoughts, thus contradicting your previous nit-picking. Well done!
There is a difference between losing the will to live, and losing the will to be alive. We already have a word for people who have suicidal thoughts. It's "
suicidal".
>>13813It's amazing how painful that meaningless work can be. I think I'm getting to the point where I spend as much time hiding from work as doing it. I wish I had a shed, I have to rotate between the bathroom, the breakroom, and pretending to rewatch training videos in the personnel room.
No.13838
>>13836How deliciously contemptful. They must view the studentbase as complete morons.
Do they actually run an attendance sheet? Just pay someone to sign you in.
No.13839
>>13838>>13832Hey, just so you know, you look like you want very much to sound smart, to the point it seems a little silly. This is not intended to be mean, more a pointer really.
That isn't to say you aren't allowed to use five dollar words, it's just that they're best used when they actually seem necessary, and you used them one after the other when simpler ones would've sufficed. To some that looks like insecurity, whether it is or not.
Hell, that isn't to say you aren't allowed to do anything, I'm just saying that's what you should do if you want to look genuinely intelligent. In fact that may very well have been pointless nitpicking, but oh well.
>>13736It's nice to hear you have made progress that way. I'm glad for you. It is an important variety of progress, for you probably the most vital of any really.
But, if you have indeed made a fair amount of progress in that area, wouldn't that mean you're getting closer to actually being somewhat prepared for school?
No.13841
>>13839Wat.
He's taking a middle school level geometry course at a shitty commercial grade institution. It really wasn't my intention to enter the thread and masturbate.
>five dollar words What the fuck. Do you not speak the language natively? It's physically painful for me to consider how linguistically sheltered you have to be if you think anything used in those posts is showy.
No.13842
>>13837>By saying this, you imply that there are forms of depression in which a person has no suicidal thoughts, thus contradicting your previous nit-picking. Well done!How so? I said one thing is feeling down, where you feel like shit yet you don't REALLY want to die or you're not really considering suicide, and that there was depression. Suicidal thoughts are common in depression; I never said they were an exception on special cases or that not all the depressed people consider killing themselves, so I really don't understand how did you even come to that conclusion.
I just stated that people misunderstand what depression actually means because it's popularized as "being down", while it is a psychological condition.
And I even fucking said at the end of my post that it wasn't even a case where it should be taken literally.
No.13844
>>13839>complaining about other people using words that are too big/complicated/nuancedDisgusting. I'm seeing this more and more online. Doubleplusungood bigspeak give you badfeel? Maybe consider never communicating in a word-based form.
>>13842You said
>Depression would be if you have lost the will to live pretty much.And then you said
>Depression is the lose of motivation or will to keep going in life.>It's pretty much an "I want to die" feeling.You constantly reinforced the idea that 'depression = suicidal', and the posted something which basically said "but not always".
That's how I came to that conclusion.
Also, because "being down" for a long enough time, or "being down" low enough is, yeah, depression.
To be honest, some of your wording and logic is a little weird and unclear to me, like I'm talking to someone who speaks English as a second language. Your posting style is strange, so there's a chance that this is all just over something lost in translation.
Sorry for causing a fuss, this is stupid, carry on.
No.13845
>>13843
>You constantly reinforced the idea that 'depression = suicidal', and the posted something which basically said "but not always".
But I also said
>However, one thing is feeling down, and other different is being depressed. Suicidal thoughts are common in depression.
Which could be translated as: One thing is feeling down, and other is being depressed; in the latter, it's a common symptom (hence why I posted DSM and wiki).
In any case, yeah, english isn't my main language so I may have fucked up something, though I still read it and I can't see anything wrong to mislead it so much (leaving all broken grommorz aside).
>Also, because "being down" for a long enough time, or "being down" low enough is, yeah, depression.
But if you get that down, then suicidal thoughts are going to appear, sooner or later. And then it's time to ask for help, because it would be obvious at that point that it's actually depression.
This is reinforcing my point that people misunderstand that. Granny next door may be sad her husband isn't in this world anymore, be really pained for it, miss him every single hour, waiting slowly to die and go with him again; but she could be ok and not actually sad to the point of not leaving her bed and considering turning the gas on and smoke weed once it filled the whole room to die a wild and dramatic death.
True, she's sad, and it's a down on her life, but she ain't depressed. It may be a silly example, but I think it explains quite well when somebody hasn't lost their will to live, even if they're "down".
In any case I don't feel like thinking a better example.
No.13849
>>13845それは関係ないぞ。
>>13846Do you have a strap-on I can borrow? I naturally lack the necessary equipment for a proper circlejerk, you see.
No.13850
>>13844Meh. I only said anything because rather than seeming sophisticated it felt pretentious. There's a clear and definite line between being a nitwit who is actually intimidated by anyone who actually has a vocabulary and uses it well and simply feeling that someone's putting it on where it isn't necessary. I used to do it a lot myself, it's not the greatest habit if you want anything like legitimate respect.
That having been said there really wasn't much of a point to my original post, in fact I acknowledged that in it. What I replied to wasn't even nearly enough to merit a long response, nor probably even a brief one. The reaction to it does make me feel like I struck a nerve as far as perceiving insecurity goes though.
No.13854
>>13850>The reaction to it does make me feel like I struck a nerve as far as perceiving insecurity goes though.Nope. I see this a lot. My irritation is directed more towards everyone who I've ever seen say this, than just you.
Unfortunately I leveled my sights on the nearest target, like a douche.Apologies for spouting off, I'm in an antagonistic mood today. You have a good day, o k.
No.13855
>>13850How does usage of the word subsist indicate "sophistication"? How do you mistake your own delusional projection for a confirmation that someone is typing up words on the internet exclusively to appear fashionable? Do you do this mentally every time you read something with a flesch–kincaid index less than 80? What metrics do you apply to identify words that are simply too cool for use? What morphological features are the objective coolest and most cultured? Do you advocate elimination of these strings of characters from the english lexicon? Do people make sounds at eachother because they actually just want to convince others that they're intelligent? What are the scholarly implications of your conclusions for computational linguistics and semiotics?
Your meandering, inarticulate style is infinitely preferable to not arbitrarily limiting your vocabulary to 500 words. Please continue to offer unsolicited and vague communication guidance.
No.13859
>>13858Its good if you have a friend with you.
No.14024
>>14021I'd like to help you, but I don't even know whow do these credit things work…
No.14025
>>14024basically with classes, credits are proportional to how many hours you spend in a class per week.
3 hours = 3 credits for academic courses,
and 6 hours = 3 credits for art courses. I'm taking a little bit of both.
There's this one art class I may or may not take, and since its art, taking it/not taking it would make a 6 hour difference in how long I would spend in classes lol.
I think I might pass because I'm sort of taking the more advanced version of it right now lol. I end up taking so many classes out of order.
I might dig around for an interesting sounding psychology or english course, but that reduced time in class would balance out with homework and stuff
I've been trying to keep up 15 credits a semester because I was really lazy in the beginning and only took 12 credits duing a few semesters. I don't think I've ever gone over 15 credits so 17 would be pretty wild.
I guess 14 is ok…I'll just try to be more productive outside of school maybe. Even I don't work any more.
Who am I kidding I'll just be lazy and play bido gaymes
No.14026
>>14025Yeah, I'm also terrible when it comes to pushing myself to do more or forcing work on me, so I do pretty poorly when that happens.
If you don't think you can manage to make it for the 17 credits go just for 14. Otherwise you may stress yourself and it will affect your other classes and your general mood.
No.14032
> Sophmore project due tommorow
> Didnt do jackshit
> decide to cram/bs
> take nap because tired
> look at clock
> 2am and still tired
> stay up watching chink cartoons
> is now 6am and need to leave at 7
> hiding in closet so I dont have to go
No.14033
My shit job has helped me notice a strange dichotomy.
"When I go to work, I sort of turn off for eight hours performing repetitive mechanical movements until I'm done." - That was my original observation.
To elaborate: while I'm there, I plunge into this kind of a waking dream where I tune out all external stimuli and just let the thoughts wander without a clear focus. In my head, I have conversations, live out fictious scenarios, shitpost on image boards, and do all sorts of stuff. None of that is real, but the emotions I experience certainly feel real. I get rejected, screamed at, assaulted etc. a lot.
However, it turns out the dream is much, much larger than I thought. That particular state is really no different from my everyday one. I could go as far as to say it's what I would describe as "me" - the incredibly introverted awkward loser everyone, including myself, knows. Even now I'm still dreaming; after all, it's second nature for me to come on /n/.
The problem is, the flowing thoughts turn self-destructive easily. For example, the feeling of being replaceable at work and therefore unneeded by anyone, or the sensation of being a flesh automaton. Those cause a lot of angst. And once the ball gets rolling, it really doesn't stop. The mind starts to spin wildly in circles, with no apparent way out.
So, the dichotomy occcured to me when I counterintuitively attempted to silence those voices. It was odd. Without them echoing through the head, there came a feeling of drastically increased, as opposed to reduced, awareness and focus. It felt like the closest thing to freedom… There finally was someone in control for once, yet that entity was no longer quite "me".
*shrug* This turned out longer than I hoped. Maybe I should convert it to greentext.
No.14044
>>14032Hey, I just came off a 48 hour grind session myself. Within a span of two days I went through three weeks of material for an electrical engineering course I haven't shown up to once and completed its corresponding semester project. I submitted the project with minutes to spare and sat through the lecture just to see what all the pretentious children find so compelling. It was 45 minutes of formal explication of design techniques and programming structures I spontaneously cobbled together in desperation, naked in my room blasting k pop at 4 am.
Makes me wonder what I'd be capable of if I didn't make a very deliberate point of wasting myself on the mindless and ephemeral shit possible.
No.14500
>>14032hello fellow sophomore friend who does nothing at school and hates going to the point of near tears. Im gettting homeschooled next year but heard the online stuff is actually harder, which sucks. Im smart and shit but I wont put any effort into anything if I dont like it
No.14502
>>14500sophomore in high school?
No.14503
>>14500You need to be 18 or older to post here.
