/n/ - NEET

>Have a huge test tomorrow
>Failing
>Missed the financial aid deadline
>Posting here

Why am I so awful at this living thing?

>work to do
>fucked up sleep
>feel like shit all day erry day
>posting here

Someone was talking about momentum, but I keep getting stuck before I start to get the ball rolling. How do you get over that roadblock?

>>13716
Standing there until you grow tall enough to climb over it.

Bashing your head against it when it's made from solid rock isn't going to work.

>Being pure success at life
>Being pure success on the internet
>Being pure success
I can't belive I'm real

I…was thinking about going to online school. I also was thinking about maybe progressing into regular community college again. Maybe I'd have more friends or at least something to do. At least now, with my constant illness and hospitalization, there's not really any pressure anymore from my family to be able to meet arbitrary accomplishment standards.
…NEETdom has become so nice though. I've stopped giving a fuck about what people think of me and how quiet I am. I've made tons of progress, at least in terms of mental fortitude, and I'd really not want to break that all down. Oh well.

>>9555

>Miss a lot of days
>Often late for class
>Skip a lot
>Never study, grades dropped tremendously last exams
>Giving up on things, growing tired of it all.

I think I might have depression or something at this point.

>>13747
Or maybe you are lazy and unmotivated.

Depression would be if you have lost the will to live pretty much.

>>9555

I wrapped up my PhD about a year ago, currently unemployed and seeking a job. Can't say I enjoy it too much, days are really starting to blend into each other and giving a hand with the family business isn't really helping much.
Goes without saying that I have, of course, blown any chance ever to get NEETbux or autismbux kinda hard to convince people I need help when I have two masters and a PhD in my curriculum, even after explaining that both were essentially the fruit of deep compulsion and years-long sperging out.

>>13748
One can be depressed without being suicidal, fucknugget.

>>13751
Depression is the lose of motivation or will to keep going in life. It's pretty much an "I want to die" feeling.
True, one may feel like dying, but that wouldn't mean the person really wants end their life. However, one thing is feeling down, and other different is being depressed. Suicidal thoughts are common in depression.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_%28mood%29
>People with depressed mood can feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, ashamed or restless. They may lose interest in activities that were once pleasurable, experience loss of appetite or overeating, have problems concentrating, remembering details or making decisions, and may contemplate, attempt or commit suicide.

(If you go "OMG WIKIPEDIA" then have official DSM-IV's word in Depression Disorders http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK64063/ , Number 9: "Recurrent thoughts of death")

Many people tend to misuse the word "depression" so much that it has almost lost its real meaning. I'm guessing the other anon is just down and tired of everything (or lazy, as the other anon suggested), but since there no more clues as to guess what is the cause and how deep it is, I can't really tell exactly what it is.
In any case, I don't think "depression" is the right word here, but it isn't mean to be taken literally anyway, so…

Recently graduated, double majored in Math and Physics.

Turns out the advice I heard all along of "Who wouldn't want to hire a math major? You can do anything!" was dead wrong and I have no real skills. Tried to apply to some places, no luck, gave up.

Now I'm taking CS classes online with Udacity, except I'm lazy and shit and have barely done anything for two months while I feed off of my parents' support, but I know they won't do it for long.

Without going to classes and very few friends, the relative lack of human contact is slowly chipping away at me.

>>13798
Have you considered becoming a teacher in the meantime?

>>13799
Not really, I'm not sure how I would go about doing that without getting a certification.

That said, I'm planning on applying for JET and other ELT programs in Japan. I figured it would be a good way to make some money and travel, while still having the opportunity to take online classes.

>>9722
This
It's starting to become overwhelming lately
Yesterday I went home at noon and today I spent most of my shift hiding in the wood shed

I'm getting used to my job.
It's mindless, yeah, but that means I have my mind all to myself… not that I use it for much.
No one talks to me, they have no reason to, because my performance is good, and I don't talk to them. I've found ways to relax while there, too.

At this point it feels like I willingly do menial work in my free time to take a break from the internet. I'm physically there, yet mentally insulated from reality.

My days no longer feel like a blur. I feel there is so little time off work to do stuff that actually matters, that I actually start to get off my ass and work on getting interesting things done.

I don't want to go to school anymore. I don't want to physically be there. There's no way I can handle another semester of attending physical classes–or in my case, one class. I'm only taking one physical class (in conjunction with three-online classes) and it's too much for me! I regret it very much. I need to figure out how to go to a non-profit school that offers entire degrees online. I wish I was a NEET again, but I know I would wish I was doing something productive with my life if I was a NEET. The only thing that hasn't gone away is fantasizing about suicide, HaHa

I like the course though

>pic related, it's a trig course (I'm taking it because I dropped out of highschool before I got to that level of math)

>>13831
Uh, have you considered just not attending? If it's a math course there's little reason why you wouldn't be able to subsist with the lecture slides and text.

>>13832
Grade drops after 3 absences and keeps dropping with each additional one

>>13752.
>Suicidal thoughts are common in depression.
By saying this, you imply that there are forms of depression in which a person has no suicidal thoughts, thus contradicting your previous nit-picking. Well done!

There is a difference between losing the will to live, and losing the will to be alive. We already have a word for people who have suicidal thoughts. It's "suicidal".



>>13813
It's amazing how painful that meaningless work can be. I think I'm getting to the point where I spend as much time hiding from work as doing it. I wish I had a shed, I have to rotate between the bathroom, the breakroom, and pretending to rewatch training videos in the personnel room.

>>13836
How deliciously contemptful. They must view the studentbase as complete morons.

Do they actually run an attendance sheet? Just pay someone to sign you in.

>>13838
>>13832
Hey, just so you know, you look like you want very much to sound smart, to the point it seems a little silly. This is not intended to be mean, more a pointer really.

That isn't to say you aren't allowed to use five dollar words, it's just that they're best used when they actually seem necessary, and you used them one after the other when simpler ones would've sufficed. To some that looks like insecurity, whether it is or not.

Hell, that isn't to say you aren't allowed to do anything, I'm just saying that's what you should do if you want to look genuinely intelligent. In fact that may very well have been pointless nitpicking, but oh well.

>>13736
It's nice to hear you have made progress that way. I'm glad for you. It is an important variety of progress, for you probably the most vital of any really.

But, if you have indeed made a fair amount of progress in that area, wouldn't that mean you're getting closer to actually being somewhat prepared for school?

>>13839
Wat.

He's taking a middle school level geometry course at a shitty commercial grade institution. It really wasn't my intention to enter the thread and masturbate.

>five dollar words
What the fuck. Do you not speak the language natively? It's physically painful for me to consider how linguistically sheltered you have to be if you think anything used in those posts is showy.

>>13837
>By saying this, you imply that there are forms of depression in which a person has no suicidal thoughts, thus contradicting your previous nit-picking. Well done!

How so? I said one thing is feeling down, where you feel like shit yet you don't REALLY want to die or you're not really considering suicide, and that there was depression. Suicidal thoughts are common in depression; I never said they were an exception on special cases or that not all the depressed people consider killing themselves, so I really don't understand how did you even come to that conclusion.
I just stated that people misunderstand what depression actually means because it's popularized as "being down", while it is a psychological condition.
And I even fucking said at the end of my post that it wasn't even a case where it should be taken literally.

>>13839
>complaining about other people using words that are too big/complicated/nuanced

Disgusting. I'm seeing this more and more online. Doubleplusungood bigspeak give you badfeel? Maybe consider never communicating in a word-based form.


>>13842
You said
>Depression would be if you have lost the will to live pretty much.
And then you said
>Depression is the lose of motivation or will to keep going in life.
>It's pretty much an "I want to die" feeling.
You constantly reinforced the idea that 'depression = suicidal', and the posted something which basically said "but not always".

That's how I came to that conclusion.
Also, because "being down" for a long enough time, or "being down" low enough is, yeah, depression.


To be honest, some of your wording and logic is a little weird and unclear to me, like I'm talking to someone who speaks English as a second language. Your posting style is strange, so there's a chance that this is all just over something lost in translation.
Sorry for causing a fuss, this is stupid, carry on.

>>13843
>You constantly reinforced the idea that 'depression = suicidal', and the posted something which basically said "but not always".

But I also said
>However, one thing is feeling down, and other different is being depressed. Suicidal thoughts are common in depression.

Which could be translated as: One thing is feeling down, and other is being depressed; in the latter, it's a common symptom (hence why I posted DSM and wiki).
In any case, yeah, english isn't my main language so I may have fucked up something, though I still read it and I can't see anything wrong to mislead it so much (leaving all broken grommorz aside).

>Also, because "being down" for a long enough time, or "being down" low enough is, yeah, depression.

But if you get that down, then suicidal thoughts are going to appear, sooner or later. And then it's time to ask for help, because it would be obvious at that point that it's actually depression.
This is reinforcing my point that people misunderstand that. Granny next door may be sad her husband isn't in this world anymore, be really pained for it, miss him every single hour, waiting slowly to die and go with him again; but she could be ok and not actually sad to the point of not leaving her bed and considering turning the gas on and smoke weed once it filled the whole room to die a wild and dramatic death.
True, she's sad, and it's a down on her life, but she ain't depressed. It may be a silly example, but I think it explains quite well when somebody hasn't lost their will to live, even if they're "down".
In any case I don't feel like thinking a better example.

Hai guys you seem to be having fun Can I join the dick sucking contest?

>>13846
Sure, faggot, start with me.

>>13845
それは関係ないぞ。

>>13846
Do you have a strap-on I can borrow? I naturally lack the necessary equipment for a proper circlejerk, you see.

>>13844
Meh. I only said anything because rather than seeming sophisticated it felt pretentious. There's a clear and definite line between being a nitwit who is actually intimidated by anyone who actually has a vocabulary and uses it well and simply feeling that someone's putting it on where it isn't necessary. I used to do it a lot myself, it's not the greatest habit if you want anything like legitimate respect.

That having been said there really wasn't much of a point to my original post, in fact I acknowledged that in it. What I replied to wasn't even nearly enough to merit a long response, nor probably even a brief one. The reaction to it does make me feel like I struck a nerve as far as perceiving insecurity goes though.

>>13850
>The reaction to it does make me feel like I struck a nerve as far as perceiving insecurity goes though.
Nope. I see this a lot. My irritation is directed more towards everyone who I've ever seen say this, than just you. Unfortunately I leveled my sights on the nearest target, like a douche.

Apologies for spouting off, I'm in an antagonistic mood today. You have a good day, o k.

>>13850
How does usage of the word subsist indicate "sophistication"? How do you mistake your own delusional projection for a confirmation that someone is typing up words on the internet exclusively to appear fashionable? Do you do this mentally every time you read something with a flesch–kincaid index less than 80? What metrics do you apply to identify words that are simply too cool for use? What morphological features are the objective coolest and most cultured? Do you advocate elimination of these strings of characters from the english lexicon? Do people make sounds at eachother because they actually just want to convince others that they're intelligent? What are the scholarly implications of your conclusions for computational linguistics and semiotics?

Your meandering, inarticulate style is infinitely preferable to not arbitrarily limiting your vocabulary to 500 words. Please continue to offer unsolicited and vague communication guidance.

everyone ITT must suck my cock

>subsist

Oh damn, I was sure that
>How deliciously contemptful.
was what got anon. I can practically feel the haughty cheekiness of it.

What happened to this thread.
>tfw worry about getting wordy so I type like an idiot most of the time
It's gonna be a hell of a transition back into school life. I think my friend might go back to school with me, though, so maybe the process will be a little easier with that.

>>13858
Its good if you have a friend with you.

Do I push myself and take 17 credits next semester or be a baby and take the usual wimpy 14 credits…

>>14021
I'd like to help you, but I don't even know whow do these credit things work…

>>14024
basically with classes, credits are proportional to how many hours you spend in a class per week.
3 hours = 3 credits for academic courses,
and 6 hours = 3 credits for art courses. I'm taking a little bit of both.
There's this one art class I may or may not take, and since its art, taking it/not taking it would make a 6 hour difference in how long I would spend in classes lol.

I think I might pass because I'm sort of taking the more advanced version of it right now lol. I end up taking so many classes out of order.

I might dig around for an interesting sounding psychology or english course, but that reduced time in class would balance out with homework and stuff

I've been trying to keep up 15 credits a semester because I was really lazy in the beginning and only took 12 credits duing a few semesters. I don't think I've ever gone over 15 credits so 17 would be pretty wild.
I guess 14 is ok…I'll just try to be more productive outside of school maybe. Even I don't work any more.

Who am I kidding I'll just be lazy and play bido gaymes

>>14025
Yeah, I'm also terrible when it comes to pushing myself to do more or forcing work on me, so I do pretty poorly when that happens.

If you don't think you can manage to make it for the 17 credits go just for 14. Otherwise you may stress yourself and it will affect your other classes and your general mood.

My shit job has helped me notice a strange dichotomy.

"When I go to work, I sort of turn off for eight hours performing repetitive mechanical movements until I'm done." - That was my original observation.

To elaborate: while I'm there, I plunge into this kind of a waking dream where I tune out all external stimuli and just let the thoughts wander without a clear focus. In my head, I have conversations, live out fictious scenarios, shitpost on image boards, and do all sorts of stuff. None of that is real, but the emotions I experience certainly feel real. I get rejected, screamed at, assaulted etc. a lot.

However, it turns out the dream is much, much larger than I thought. That particular state is really no different from my everyday one. I could go as far as to say it's what I would describe as "me" - the incredibly introverted awkward loser everyone, including myself, knows. Even now I'm still dreaming; after all, it's second nature for me to come on /n/.

The problem is, the flowing thoughts turn self-destructive easily. For example, the feeling of being replaceable at work and therefore unneeded by anyone, or the sensation of being a flesh automaton. Those cause a lot of angst. And once the ball gets rolling, it really doesn't stop. The mind starts to spin wildly in circles, with no apparent way out.

So, the dichotomy occcured to me when I counterintuitively attempted to silence those voices. It was odd. Without them echoing through the head, there came a feeling of drastically increased, as opposed to reduced, awareness and focus. It felt like the closest thing to freedom… There finally was someone in control for once, yet that entity was no longer quite "me".

*shrug* This turned out longer than I hoped. Maybe I should convert it to greentext.

>>14032
Hey, I just came off a 48 hour grind session myself. Within a span of two days I went through three weeks of material for an electrical engineering course I haven't shown up to once and completed its corresponding semester project. I submitted the project with minutes to spare and sat through the lecture just to see what all the pretentious children find so compelling. It was 45 minutes of formal explication of design techniques and programming structures I spontaneously cobbled together in desperation, naked in my room blasting k pop at 4 am.

Makes me wonder what I'd be capable of if I didn't make a very deliberate point of wasting myself on the mindless and ephemeral shit possible.

I was able to obtain two jobs after being a hikkineet for a few months. One's a container manufacturing job, the other will be furniture delivery for a charming little design shop. I hope I get used to it quickly and don't end up at the hospital.

>>14032
hello fellow sophomore friend who does nothing at school and hates going to the point of near tears. Im gettting homeschooled next year but heard the online stuff is actually harder, which sucks. Im smart and shit but I wont put any effort into anything if I dont like it

>>14500
sophomore in high school?

>>14500
You need to be 18 or older to post here.

>>9709
what a garbage post

>>13844
>i'm needlessly pedantic, that makes me VERY smart
>plus, i can quote 1984, it's very obscure, an uneducated peon like yourself has probably never heard of it

fucking stop okay

>>13855
this is my fault for posting before reading the rest of the thread but you need to shut the fuck up too