I always wondered if anyone actually tried this.
Heh, I already have that image saved.
Spending time in these corners of the web, you get maybe a bit too intimate with the idea of suicide. I don't even want to kill myself, but I do know some theoretically good ways to do it.
I'd post some suicide-related image, because it turns out I have quite a collection, but I'm posting from my laptop and I don't have my images on its hard drive.
I just want to shoot myself in the fucking head.
- No gun.
- - Post on Internet.
- - - Repeat sequence.
Death can't come quick enough
Lately I've been thinking about how I will turn 30 in the near future. I'm not sure if I want to be 30. Being a teenager not doing much with your life is normal, being in your twenties and not making much of it is less normal, but it can happen. Maybe I should just be 29 forever. There is still time, but I need help and there isn't any. Not any good help anyway. Time flies by, yet getting proper help takes fucking ages. Like years.
but I wouldn't commit suicide for a few years. I'd try and wait for a few years until all my siblings have partners etc/old enough.
I'm not even a real person. So whats the point of killing myself; just like scrunching up a piece of copy paper.
The thing is, you can still use that paper. Instead of crumpling it up, use it up to its full capacity. Hell, even if its a retarded babby crayon drawing, at least it was used. Even if you plan on scrunching it up, at least make your paper into a paper airplane so you could do something cool before you crash. Imagery and shit.
I'm like blank paper that you can't draw or write on.
There's no point of me
Paper airplane mother fucker. Plus where the fuck are you finding this crazy ass paper, goddamn.
Every time you learn something new that bit of information is copied down onto the paper. As you read this post is being copied down onto your paper.
I always find myself hoping that some kind of extinction-level event will happen. I just wish everything would end.
Openly suicidal people always seem to find me. Its getting annoying.
I recently tought about suicide, not because my life is "bad" in a rational way, but its simply not worth living and i am not worthy to be alive.
I came to accept what sort of life is meant for me and have subsequently given up hope for a better life.
However i also realised that with alcohol and drugs i could be content with my existence.
Adding one and one together i decided not to give a shit anymore and live the life of a junkie for as long as i can, while still being as useful as possible.
I mean sure i could go out blowing myself up or hanging myself or just taking the gamble and see what kills me if i try to stay alive for as long as possible, il take the gamble if i ever change my mind i can always kill myself.
I sometimes wish that some sort of cataclysm happens so civilisation collapses and people suffer and die.
I want to witness war, famine, hunger and natural disasters.
Tough that is because i have a deep hatered for humanity and life in general and am a sadist repressed fuck.
Humans are not meant to live for long, we are supposed to fight and only the fittest are to survive, but things have changed and now we all are weak and getting even weaker.
We all have to die anyway sooner or later, why not make the best out if while you can and quit when you know its not worth it.
You okay bruh bruh?
To the anons here wanting to die, but find themselves unable to kill themselves.
People don't kill themselves because they have nothing to live for, they kill themselves because they had something to live for and can't find it anymore.
just my two cents.
This. Motherfucking this. PEople who were born into poverty and [Bane voice] "molded by it", will never know the trials and tribulations that wealthy-turned-poor people feel. The same comparison holds true for permavirgins vs. ppl who once experienced F*cking, etc.
An anime/manga example of this trope can be seen when comparing the traumatic childhood events of Naruto and Sasuke; Naruto's lonely childhood pales in comparison to the burden Sasuke has to bear ever since he lost his beloved family and clan in a single night.
I've been having urges to stop living a couple times a week. It is terribly frustrating as nothing bad is happening in my life - quite the contraty. I have some sort of future to look forward to, another person and pets to care for, yet the thoughts are still there. It makes me mad at myself and scared that I might do something stupid, which in turn leaves me stewing in an uncomfortable, miserable goo.
I am now pretty heavily medicated and the bursts are less common. Hopefully they'll go away entirely.
I'm sorry Nami. I know how that os. I struggle with similar urges, although they aren't as intense or as frequent as they used to be. It doesn't really effect my life anymore. I've accepted that it's just part of who I am, but it's been part of life since the beginning. I don't know. You'll figure out the best way to deal with them for yourself. Good luck Nami, I'm rooting for you!
You're right, I'm probably just projecting. The other guy who agreed with me sounds pretty retarded, so I'm probably wrong by association. But still, I'd like to hear another perspective.
What is the subjective pain of someone who has little attachment to the world? Because that's the trajectory of Neets and Hikkis.
And just anecdotally, I've never heard a story of recluse suicide before. Not on any of the shady sites I browse, nothing the obituaries, nothing. Hear about suicides all the time. Finance related, divorce related, education related…nothingness.. never seems to come up.
Its like a romantic trope, people killing themselves "because my life is empty". But I don't see it occur.
I would guess suicide in those cases you mentioned is an act of despair and panic rather than sadness or misery, like in the neet case.
Now i never had a life so i can tell you my reflection on the second case.
Right now im on the knifes edge, i feel like these are the last moments for me of having a chance to atleast ever having experienced some of the things normal people take for granted that they consider valuable to life.
Tough i dont see myself being able to do so, i have no idea what to do.
Im in quite some mysery because of this, i feel like a part of me is dying, i end up having lots of toughts and emotions that are very conflicting and confusing right now, only way i hope to cope with them is to write them down and reflect on them at some point and hope things will work out by themselfs.
I never really actively attempted suicide but i end up thinking alot about it.
I cant really even tell whats holding me back or others for that matter, perhaps its hope, hope dies last they say.
The only other thing i can think of is that we are so used to being passive and repressed that we arent capable of dealing with the intensity of such an act.
Maybe we wait for some moment in our lifes to wake us up and we could snap.
Also it could be that we never hear about them because nobody knows people who kill themselfs, faceless nameless silent victims.
I dont really know what to make of this.
>I would guess suicide in those cases you mentioned is an act of despair and panic
This is wrong. Specifically, the panic part. The rest, I don't know, I won't make any harsh judgements, but that is wrong. All human pain is similar, people kill themselves for similar reasons.
As for the rest, again, the key piece of data we're missing here is if hikkis / chronic neets truly have higher suicide rates, and my lack of knowledge is just due to their complete isolation, or they in fact, do not kill themselves often.
So as a result, I'm deeply unsure of the validity of any advice I can give. My own life is hardly where I want it to be either, so again, question the worth of my advice.
The dead do not kill themselves. Only those living do so. You feel pain because are still alive. The longer you isolate yourself from the parts that constitute life, the less pain you will feel. The trajectory of that life is to a point of painlessness. I'd hardly imagine people at that point kill themselves, while those before seem to not do so because as you said, their orientation with the universe is a passive one, entirely opposite to that of suicide.
And I'm not saying that this applies to everyone who's suicidal on this board of course.
I mean, I can't definitively say either way, but Japan has sky high suicide rates and appears to have very high levels of shut ins, and studies of hikkis in Japan show higher suicide rates (I can link if you want, but just search google scholar for hikikomori suicide and you'll see). Similarly, hikkis disproportionately belong to categories with higher suicide rates (mental illness, especially), so on that alone I think the presumption is at least an above average suicide rate.
I mean, you are less likely to hear anecdotes about shut-ins because you are less likely to hear anything about them; suicides are only interesting in who they impact, and thats a limited circle for a shut in. Regardless, though, anecdotes aren't really a valid form of data for addressing risk at a population level.
Of course, it is still the case that hikkis overwhelmingly won't commit suicide (if we exclude old age, where suicide rates leap again), but they are a very high risk population (I suspect most people on /n/ fall into at least a higher risk population due to some factor or other, mind).
>>10738> This is wrong. Specifically, the panic part. The rest, I don't know, I won't make any harsh judgements, but that is wrong. All human pain is similar, people kill themselves for similar reasons.>>10736
Here, i talked about the people who had things and then lost them, not sure if we talk about the same thing here.
Well i just assumed that having things taken from you would rob you from your identity and the shock might drive one to suicide as its in the said cases sometimes.
Well who can really say.
I don't want to kill myself. The opposite, actually: I really want to live.
Living hurts a bit.
I hope I can achieve something substantial one day.
If I recall correctly, and I may not because this was from a long time ago, but if I recall correctly people much more often killed themselves over many little things going wrong in their life in quick succession, rather than one big thing.
When your entire life is meaningless I suppose that would count as one big thing, although it still made of many smaller parts…
Suicide is always at the back of my mind. I can't get it to leave, it seems like the easier option to take then to face things I don't want to do in life.
Never listened to the Swans but aside from that you all have good taste. It's a little disconcerting how much music I listen to when I'm feeling nostalgic others listen to to facilitate intense self-loathing and introspection, but whatever, at least you made good choices when it came to music selection.
I just finished reading Wlecome to the NHK! I really shuold have gone to bed earlier. I think I'll do that now. But before that, I just want to say I love you guys. I think about suicide more often than is probably healthy, but even so… let's not give up, together. (It's a stupid platitude, but I desperately need to so reach out and say something before I go to bed. Good night everyone)
I need to finish the novel as well. I also hope to, one day, stop having suicidal thoughts altogether. I've recently been feeling like I'm getting there and I hope I can keep it up.
Woe is a world where people are forced to care about worthless things until they fall apart.
Life: The only reason it matters so much is because it doesn't matter at all.
Life… Dreams… Hope… Where do they come from? And where do they go…? Such meaningless things… I'll destroy them all!
This picture is just how I feel every single day. I guess I'm just waiting for a miracle to happen in my life.
Or perhaps waiting for the moment when I'll finally end it all. Probably won't happen, though.