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/n/ - NEET

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File: 1404175328887.jpg (182.46 KB, 1024x868, 1398057918266.jpg)

 No.10927

How do you deal with people judging you? Every time family members come to my home I a;ways get asked the question "What are you doing with your life?".

Most of the time I just make up some stuff on the spot but I can't help but feel like a lesser being whenever asked that question. There is also that other type of judgement, the one where they don't bring it up but you know what they're thinking.

I can't help but feel like a disappointment to everyone. It's not just relatives who do it either, I've had doctors try to make small talk about that topic and it bothers me immensely.

Worst of all I have tried to get myself out of NEETdom but I either fail or don't have enough money to try.

 No.10928

I mostly just avoid other people as best I can. This morning my father said I was worthless, it felt pretty bad.

 No.10929

File: 1404175967217.jpeg (196.07 KB, 750x750, 2009-07-12-177474.jpeg)

>>10928

I've been bought up on a diet of "Worthless" "Hopeless" and "No hoper" growing up.

I don't know if I should blame everyone treating me like shit for how I turned out but I'm pretty sure it was the relentless bullying and torment I had to go through growing up.

 No.10930

File: 1404179832404.png (226.92 KB, 600x600, 4b919655ead34cf76e6268517e….png)

I spent a lot of my life being told I was lazy and underachieving, I was always being pushed forward being told that if I didn't step it up I'd never amount to anything, and the best I could ever hope for was living in a halfway home. Nothing I ever did was good enough, even when I was certain I had done well, and so I lost all confidence in my competence. They always tried to push before to make me improve and I hated every minute of it, they tried to convince me that I was enjoying it and convince everyone around me to tell me I was enjoying it, but I hated it. It left me with such a bitter and resentful feeling towards the idea of self-improvement that whenever people would talk about it I would literally feel nauseous, I would hate myself for even thinking about the possibility of putting effort into improve my life. When I accomplish something in my life I don't want them to know about it, they don't deserve to feel proud that I've done something with my life, they did not aid me in it, they only hindered me.

I moved out of that household about a year ago and I finally managed to (mostly) get over those issues with the help of a friend.

I don't like being judged, sometimes when someone judges may negatively I feel the need to go talk to a friend so they can dispel my self-doubt.

I don't like making others feel like they're being judged either, if some sort of incident happens that causes everyone in the room to turn and stare at someone I make sure not to turn and stare them, I don't need to add to the number of judgmental eyes staring them down. I don't like being stared at…

 No.10931

File: 1404183512053.jpg (7.29 KB, 266x190, boone.jpg)

>How do you deal with people judging you?
It honestly doesn't bother me that much anymore when people ask me what I'm doing with my life. Their opinions aren't worth a damn to me. I only put stock in the accusations of people who I care about, and I stopped caring about the people who judge me as soon as they started telling me I was a failure. If they were really passing their judgments out of concern, they wouldn't have said the things they've said. So I figured, if they don't care about me, why should I care about them?

 No.10933

>>10928
Owned!

 No.10934

>>10929
Awww boo hoo ;___;, poor widdle depressed White Dude got a sob story. Stop being such a thin-skinned loser and stop blaming everyone else.

 No.10935

>>10934
>White Dude
Why the fuck would you bother capitalizing that?

 No.10936

>>10935
/pol/ idiot I guess.

 No.10937

>>10934
>>10933
Seriously, what are you doing here?

 No.10938

I probly don't deal that well with it. I went to a dermatologist and they ask what you're doing/if you have a job(mum took me cause I have no way of getting there lol), nope don't have anything.

It can be awkward aswell when I'm talking to someone on the net and they ask what I do. I say I work as a labourer for dad lol(I don't, but it sounds better then "i don't have a job"). Grandparents tend to be the worst, they ask how things are etc and if you have a girlfriend lol. -_-

 No.10939

File: 1404203657405.jpg (145.79 KB, 1024x768, 8caa9a39018fd95752aec175c3….jpg)

I avoid people who judge me.

I talk to my mum twice a month and she doesn't seem to care to bother me about my problems other than "how has x been going" if i told her I was doing something prior.

It's nice. No one else cares to judge me.

 No.10940

File: 1404212652850.jpg (25.62 KB, 500x281, hinagiku red face.jpg)

>>10930

That brings up another thing I also deal with in life. Whenever someone tells me to do something I get really angry and see there way as inferior to mine.

Anyone else have this issue? I feel as if they're asserting their authority onto me thus restricting my freedom.

 No.10941

File: 1404218012106.jpg (28.4 KB, 460x355, 428794_473487519329943_182….jpg)

>>10940
Oh yes, I definitely understand that feeling. When something is difficult there is usually a better way to do it, I hate it when people refuse to accept that there other ways to do things. As long as the job gets done I don't see why it matters how it gets done. The same sort of thing also applies to food, I don't see why people care if I'm putting barbecue sauce on my food, they're not the one eating it, I haven't desecrated something sacred.

 No.10946

File: 1404253039230.jpg (86.64 KB, 600x415, 1403670720947.jpg)

>>10941

It gets even worse when people try to tell you what to do when their way is stupid and pointless.

Just recently I was taping a postage label to a box and my dad shows up and says I need to put plastic over it otherwise they wouldn't be able to scan the bar code. I immediately told him I've sent packages like this before and it literally does not matter but he kept insisting.

He ended up leaving when I told him he has never sold anything on Ebay or sent anything with a postage label….

The dam arrogance of people just ticks me off and the fact that they try to put their noses in my business.

I admit this attitude has caused me problems in life like learning to drive for example. Criticism either makes me angry or just darn right feel hopeless and I feel like never attempting it again.

 No.10959

Usually i just say nothing and swallow it down, since most of the time its actually justified.

It usually leaves a real shitty feeling inside me, as if i drank acid.

 No.10960

They usually raise fair points. I look them in the eyes and act callous like a horrible human being. I feel bad about the talks, but deep inside I feel grateful for them as they motivate me to do something, because I know I would otherwise be too afraid or lazy.

I need more people in my life.

 No.10961

File: 1404331087546.png (34.05 KB, 300x300, 1401763500274.png)

I don't really care unless their reasoning is stupid. Then I'll call them out on it until they give in or walk away. Other than that, just the usual "okay, okay, yeah, okay". I don't mean to, but apparently I come off as really condescending to some. They say it's how I look at them. And by "them", I mean family since I don't interact with anyone beside them much. I barely interact with most of them as is. As a result, I don't really have to worry about judgement these days. I probably judge myself more often and harder than anyone else.

 No.10964

There aren´t really people around that judge me.
I guess my parents are concerned. I don´t really care.
I will admit that I try to avoid meeting other family members.
In the end it feels like I have reached a point of no return.

 No.10966

people judging me is hell… but the worst of them is myself.

 No.11015

Things are friendly if tense with family members, when my situation enters the conversation I am able to either deflect or talk up half assed plans for the future. The more subtle aspect is that I know they will never take me seriously as a person, unless I become independent and successful, and even then probably not for several years afterwards.
Otherwise I can't really afford to care what people think about me.

 No.11017

File: 1404801141499.jpg (183.48 KB, 550x367, 1374799329282.jpg)

I don't know a world where I'm not judged since I've been alone forever. I have this disconnect with people and it makes me resent them. I've always been depressed and probably have been my own harshest critic but the lack of support from others didn't help much either. I don't know if I will be able to assimilate into society.

 No.11695

I just shut down and try to respond as neutrally as I can.

I still die a little inside whenever I get a pitying look after I'm done talking.

 No.11696

My parents already think I am a failure so I don't make anything up anymore. It isn't worth the hassle.

It sucks to be branded a looser though. I have many brothers & sisters and gradually loose my say in the family. If things won't change I might have to break of all contact to avoid being judged and look down on by my younger brothers.

 No.11715

File: 1407969487751.jpg (340.53 KB, 595x841, Kyoko-0013.jpg)

Suffice it to say that I'm doing well enough for myself that judgement by "normals" isn't too much of a concern. Either way, considering how I'm alone for the overwhelming majority of my time, I don't really care about others' judgements, since I'm still going to be me and I'm still going to be alone regardless of what they say. That is, their thoughts and opinions have no influence over the events of my life, so why should I worry about them (unless they're highlighting some shortcoming or flaw of mine that I need to address).

>>10927
You are neither a lesser being nor a disappointment. The question of "What are you doing with your life?" really doesn't have a satisfactory answer ever, regardless of what sort of life you lead. You can tell yourself, "Oh, yes, I have a job and am paying bills and such, so my life is good and respectable", but is that true? Likewise, you can say, "Well, I'm a NEET, and I don't have any talents and can't do anything, so my life is pathetic and despicable", but is that true?

By what standard are you deeming these lifestyles positive or negative? Society's? Society's standards are unarguably asinine and shouldn't be used for anything. Other people's? Those change from person to person and thus are internally inconsistent; you couldn't possibly hope for any kind of meaningful standard from that. The Universe? It couldn't care less either way; we're bacteria on a grain of sand to it.

My point is that attempting to conclude that your lifestyle is good or not based on some exterior standard makes no sense, considering that these "standards" contradict each other and have no substance to them. It's up to you to decide on whether or not how you live your life is good, since nothing else makes a difference. If you don't like where your life is headed, then you're the one that needs to assume responsibility for it and adjust it as appropriate. Also, it bears repeating that your lifestyle does not make you inferior to others with more popular lifestyles.

>>10928
>>10929
Neither of you are worthless or hopeless or any variants thereof. Your suspicion is correct; being told such hurtful things repeatedly during your development can incorrectly convince you that you are these things, thus setting into motion a self-fulfilling prophecy: Since you think you're hopeless, you feel that you can't do anything and therefore don't do anything; since you don't do anything, you feel even more hopeless.

The way to escape this cycle is to start working on something in spite of the weight of those accusations. If you continually work on something – be it learning a new skill, assembling a project, or what have you – it will improve and grow for as long as you keep at it. The idea that someone or something is worthless is daft. At worst, they're simply not realizing their potential, and helping them do so is as simple as giving them a gentle push in the right direction (provided that they're being at least somewhat reasonable).

>>10930
I'm happy that you overcame that mental block, especially considering how toxic it was. That's quite difficult to do, even with a friend's help. Also, it's very kind of you to try and make others feel that they aren't being judged. Even among "normals", most people are exceptionally averse to negative judgement by others. I guess it originates from our tribal behavior: If we get kicked out of the tribe, we'll die, so we need to do everything we can to be in good standing with them.

>>10931
That's a reasonable viewpoint. If they don't care about your thoughts or feelings but judge you anyway, then their judgements are likely not worth your time. Additionally, if they don't know you very well, how can they analyze you sufficiently to give any sort of meaningful output? When your friends share their judgements, however, it's usually out of a desire to help you in some fashion, which is why listening to their thoughts is a good idea.

>>10938
Ah, "normal" conversation. How thrilling.
I can see how that'd be awkward, yes. If you don't have any compunctions about doing so, you could always simply lie and give some vague, nondescript, and uninteresting answer such that anyone asking would presume the specifics of your job are too technical or boring to them to discuss further.

>>10939
I can understand wanting to avoid judgement, considering how many people will happily and readily share their negative opinions of you while only a few open up about their positive thoughts of you. Keep in mind, however, that it's difficult to evaluate yourself in an unbiased manner, so others' judgements – mainly those of friends – are occasionally useful insofar that they highlight potential areas for self-improvement. The trick is finding people who not only make reasonable judgements, but furthermore disclose their opinions in a gentle and considerate fashion.

 No.11716

File: 1407969570824.jpg (212.58 KB, 546x800, Kyoko-0063.jpg)

>>10940
>>10941
>>10946
It's true that, in some instances, someone tries to tell you about their way of doing something merely out of a sense that their method is the best way and that others are inferior. This isn't universally the case, however, as someone may mention an alternative means to solving a problem out of a desire to make things easier for you and to help you learn. That is, though one person may be intolerably arrogant and is telling you the "superior" method in a feeble attempt to get praise or admiration out of you, another might wish merely to share with you their experience in that situation in order to save you some fraction of the difficulty they endured to obtain their skill.

I do agree, however, that it's absurd when someone refuses to acknowledge that there's any other valid approach to solving a specific problem outside of their own, or especially when someone voices an objection to how you eat something. It's not as though they're having it eat it the same way; it only affects you, so why does it matter to them?

>>10959
Oh, Anon, it's dreadful to hear that you're hurting like that, especially due to others being insensitive toward you. IMO, any judgement should be given politely and gently, taking the judged party's feelings into account. Throwing an opinion at someone bluntly and hurtfully is not only a nasty and explicitly inconsiderate thing to do, but it's also ineffectual, since the person being judged likely will ignore or object to the accusation due to the rough treatment of their emotions rather than honestly evaluating it. I don't know who's been judging you, but you unquestionably deserve to be treated better than that if it's causing you that much pain.

Though I don't mean to pressure you into divulging potentially personal information, I must admit that I'm curious about these so-called "justified" judgements. Who are these people, and of what are they accusing you?

>>10960
Kudos for being able to improve yourself through others' judgements. In some cases, the only way to notice a flaw or shortcoming in your behavior, personality, or lifestyle is by an external observer identifying it for you. I'm confused, however, regarding why you act callously toward whomever is judging you when what they say is useful to your development. If nothing else, perhaps you could express the gratitude you feel to them afterward? I'm sure that they'd appreciate it.

>>10961
I'm proud of you for pointing out judgements based on stupidity rather than merely disregarding them. Honestly, it's the best thing to do in that situation, since otherwise they'll keep coming up with more similarly thick-headed accusations to hurl at you. Who knows; by refuting them, you might even help them start actually thinking before spewing out their opinions.

>I probably judge myself more often and harder than anyone else.

Please don't be too hard on yourself, Anon. You're human, and thus can't reasonably expect yourself to be perfect. Additionally, everyone makes mistakes, unintentionally hurt others, and has character or personality flaws along with other similarly undesirable things from time to time. Sad as it is, it's unavoidable. Thus, please do what you can to forgive yourself for your errors rather than berating yourself for them. There are countless people who would be happy to dump their negativity and destructive criticism on you, so there's hardly a need to do it to yourself, right?
(All of this goes for you, too, Anon of >>10966.)

>>10964
>>11017
The trouble with distancing yourself from others is that you don't have any outside input. Consequently, it's vastly more challenging to locate areas for improvement, since your self-analysis will be subject to all sorts of cognitive and logical biases. There's also the trouble that your thinking can become somewhat… warped if you go for too long without talking to anyone, but that's not entirely relevant here. Another topic-irrelevant point is best expressed by this quote (bonus points if you identify the source): "If you avoid others, you'll never be hurt or betrayed, but you'll also never be able to escape your loneliness."

>>11015
>>11695
>>11696
It boggles me how the unemployed are treated as inferior, lazy, or losers for no other reason than their lack of employment. If you ask me, there's hardly anything respectable about having a job, bearing in mind that most "jobs" these days are wage slavery. Indeed, I pity those who are stuck in that situation, forced to endure endless daily drudgery to make ends meet just barely, lacking an alternative outside of joblessness.

 No.11719

My brother comes by and asks about my life and if I have plans sometimes. I normally just vaguely answer or stay quiet.

As a pansexual transmale whos hopelessly paranoid about everything that exists itd be impossible for me to escape NEETdom and I just wish hed understand and leave me alone already

>>10940
Me. Ehehe… I know it sounds silly but I get angry beyond words whenever people tell me what to do or how to do things. I guess its because my mom let me do things however I wanted to do them while growing up, unless I was doing something strictly beyond common sense I was allowed to do whatever. She was working most of the time so I guess there was no choice but to trust me… Im a really lucky guy, probably

 No.11721

>>11719
>I know it sounds silly but I get angry beyond words whenever people tell me what to do or how to do things.
If the people in question aren't affected at all by what it is that I'm doing then I'll either get pissed or just ignore it.

Usually I only care about other people's judgements if I respect them and luckily those I respect tend to be pretty reasonable.

 No.11722

File: 1407999851319.png (471.06 KB, 600x600, 26165723.png)

Considering my eldest brother was far more wild and is now in prison and my other older brother died from cancer, my parents are pretty much happy I'm safe, quiet, and secure for the time being.

They are encouraging me to start trying to find out how to work on my own which I am anyways since I'm concerned about it myself. I'm a bit slower to start out on things unlike most kids who turn 18 and immediately move away, but that's fine. I feel satisfied to do things on my own time, and shrug off any other opinions or judgement from others that tell me otherwise.
I also appreciate the quiet peacefulness out of the day while others are hustling, bustling and even struggling.

I too, had the doctor who would do that sort of talk like inquire if I'm in college yet. I would get nervous but now, I really don't give a fuck and unless it's required to check the "Unemployed/Not a student" box on the form, I will usually refuse to answer. Thankfully, I dropped that doctor and got a much better one where he's friendly but still does professional business with no unnecessary questions.

 No.11725

File: 1408041248193.jpg (672 KB, 1000x1414, 1374495818370336992.jpg)

>>11722
I too have a similar circumstance. I live with my grandmother and i usually kinda get judged for not being able to work (Due to my anxiety and other "issues") and not being as productive as others. Typically when i'm not a school or have any homework which is almost always I normally play Video games or watch anime, and browse multiple chans. My grandma doesn't exactly rush me as far as adult responsibility i'm normally responsible for school duties and doctor's appointment more frequently as far signing in and being to talk with said dr.'s I usually just handle things at a steady pace. Usually when i get judged it's usually about how i need to "Grow up" or my love in anime or just my daily routine. I typically just shirk them off for the most part

 No.11728

>>11716
You know, Kyouko Poster, it's kinda funny how you respond to everyone in a thread. I mean, I respect you for putting effort into individually addressing almost every single message, but your monolithic posts make it a bit hard to reply to you.

Anyway, I'm 10960…

>I'm confused, however, regarding why you act callously toward whomever is judging you when what they say is useful to your development. If nothing else, perhaps you could express the gratitude you feel to them afterward? I'm sure that they'd appreciate it.


So I'm also this guy: http://uboachan.net/n/res/10971.html#11055
And like I said there, I feel a bit trapped living with my mother. She is tired of me and just wants me gone from her house, which is perfectly fine. She tends to be constantly angry at me whenever I don't do something she asks me to, and skeptical of the things I do. This anger comprises most of my daily social interaction and it causes me to lash out at her to get her to stop.

I don't talk to her anymore about my proactive actions because she doesn't know jack about programming and I need to maintain high levels of hype for my own work so I can focus on it with vigor and enthusiasm, and not feel like I'm wasting my time (I'm not).

In short: she is a very wise woman, but her tone makes me want to do something violent. I tried to talk to her about it, but she simply doesn't give a damn. Hence why I really need to move from her house at my earliest convenience because holy shit stop nagging at me already

By the way, I think you've used this picture before.

 No.11729

File: 1408053643800.jpg (210.3 KB, 409x578, Kyoko-0046.jpg)

>>11728
>your monolithic posts make it a bit hard to reply to you
I was afraid of that. The idea was that, since I know how disheartening and frustrating it can be to post your thoughts in a discussion only to have your contribution overlooked, I would go through and share my opinions and mindsets for each post in the thread. Additionally, I surmised that doing so would stimulate further posting and activity, since everyone who had posted thus far would have something to which to reply. It seems that my methodology is flawed.

>This anger comprises most of my daily social interaction and it causes me to lash out at her to get her to stop.

I'm sorry to hear that she continues to act like that in spite of your attempts to reason with her about it. Under the circumstances, I agree that the best thing to do is leave as soon as you can manage; meanwhile, I advise doing your best to be compliant with her demands so that her anger toward you is minimized, though you already knew that. Also, at no point should you think of your programming work as "a waste of time", since it's still programming practice no matter what you do or make with it. You already seem to be aware of that as well, though, so I guess it's not a concern.

>By the way, I think you've used this picture before.

Damn. I thought that the picture seemed vaguely familiar. At this point, my supply of unused pictures has fallen low, and my posting rate exceeds the production of new images that I can use. I'll do my best to remain vigilant for reposts, I suppose.

 No.11754

>>11716
>Though I don't mean to pressure you into divulging potentially personal information, I must admit that I'm curious about these so-called "justified" judgements. Who are these people, and of what are they accusing you?

Well its been quite a while since ive had to take judgements, tough the issues still affect me.
Said persons were my parents.
Anyway the issues are, im timid, very very lazy and basicly impulsive.
I do stupid crap without thinking even tough i know better.
I often take hours to get myself to do even the simplest tasks.
I waste alot of time fucking around with stupid stuff.
Plus i also tire very quickly and can get rather naggy.
Sometimes im also really brainless for some reason and do really stupid stuff,

 No.11756

File: 1408339869282.gif (8.53 KB, 113x114, idk.gif)

I always worry that my peers in my department at college are gonna judge me for not being as good as them so I end up avoiding them, even though I'd like to be friends. I just feel like they're all doing so much better than me, and if they knew about how I was doing in class, they'd look down on me and if they knew about my interests, they'd think I'm weird, and they all already think I'm weird anyway.

It's not good but it's hard to stop. I've been seeing a therapist for various things over the summer but this is probably what I need help with the most, and we can't make any progress since I haven't been in these situations during summer vacation. But I go back next week. I hope I do better this year. My grades were all A's and B's last semester, but I still panicked at the idea of the people around me knowing if I was behind on a project or something, so then I couldn't ask them for help, and then I'd fall more behind on work I didn't understand. Hopefully I won't need the help, since last semester I had to take a few upper-level courses before having the respective introductory classes, which was a struggle. But I still wanna get better at communicating and not worrying about my classmates having a bad opinion of me. I kind of put up a wall and tried to act tough and avoid everyone and I'm worried that my flawed coping mechanism went and made myself look even weirder to everyone.

 No.11788

It rarely happens, but when it does, I try to find the best way to end the subject. I also add a dash of humour in it to try to deal with it easier.

 No.13632

terribly. I am too nice, hence my self imposed exile. I'm very good with all things mechanical and electrical. as soon as I meet someone, something that annoys me like a light fitting hanging out of the ceiling or a loose belt on their car, I just need to impulsively fix it. next thing I know I'm getting conned into fixing something every time something goes wrong for free. and then the veneer wears thin. I realize i'm just a patsy doing free work for them. the only time they talk to me is when they need free labour.

I used to work but ended up getting hammered by conflicting rules, catch 22 situations where the boss yells at me for not complying even though its impossible. I try to do the right thing but sometimes its impossible and ended up getting conned into working free overtime and forgoing unpaid lunchbreaks and generally shitty working conditions. so talking to people just stresses me out because I know it'll just happen again.

my NEET fiance left me for another woman, I had some misplaced complete faith in her even though she was cheating on me for months I didnt worry because I trusted her.

is being a good, faithful, trusting person something that is not acceptable in our society? it seems like it. more and more I've been considering buying a large quantity of LSD and just programming myself to be a complete self serving asshole to fit in and succeed.

 No.13639

>>13632
You're right, a good person is a rarity. That's why you have to be stronger than the others, for the sake of yourself, and the ones who are looking for a reason to have hope. Because lots have gone down the road of a broken heart and became bitter like the rest of society.

Being a good person doesn't have to mean to let people trample over you. In fact, good people know how to set boundaries as opposed to pretending that they have infinite time and energy like a lot of others do. Saying no is a good thing for your own well-being and it doesn't make you evil. It makes you more honest to yourself and to others.

If you feel like you are being used in any situation, you need to either communicate that to the other party or cut contact with those people. That doesn't make you evil either, it just means you've decided to respect yourself and and what you offer to the world. People need money to survive, there is absolutely no shame in requesting to be paid when you give your time. This is actually a good way to find a worthwhile person, because they would never use you, and you would get paid regardless of your opinion.

 No.13644

>>13639
I think it has something to do with how i live. everything is completely free so i have no concept of money. I get $500/week in autismbux. which is more than enough for food and rent and toys. everything digital I get for free. books, movies, instruction manuals, games. whenever anything breaks i can repair it. if i need anything i can build it very cheaply with money from the autismbux or dumpster diving.

I literally have everything I want except companionship. but, and this may seem ironic, coming from someone who lives on autismbux, but I just find everyone I meet to be very lazy. they go to jobs and accept the indoctrination from universities and just schlep along. something like replacing a light fitting is just too scary and difficult that they'll leave live wires hanging out of the ceiling for years instead of fixing it. no understanding of the world or desire to improve themselves. In slavic philosophy, there's this idea that gets roughly translated to, "lead, follow or get out of the way". well I find leading and following are immoral because you're either co-opting someone elses world view in order to serve your own interests or you're forgoing your will to power in order to serve anothers.

 No.13646

$500/week in autismbux?! In which nation do you reside, good sir/ma'am?

 No.13647

File: 1425431792223.jpg (161.25 KB, 669x856, dollarydoos.jpg)


 No.13651

File: 1425507604108.png (92.98 KB, 480x640, cripple tan is kill.png)

Simply put, I make them feel bad just with the truth. I've wiped so many smug grins off of people's faces when I explain to them I've been in and out of the hospital. It's true, I've been to the urgent care quite a few times and have to go in for more blood testing and the like later on. I have trouble walking, eating, even talking and keeping up with basic tasks. But people are assholes and think I'm faking it or I'll get better with some yoga and a good diet.

That said, I think I've gotten so used to the abuse and relentless bullying that I think it's more of a nuisance than anything.

 No.13652

File: 1425524206161.jpg (61.57 KB, 565x900, Crona246014.jpg)

Most people judge me silently, so as long as I can stay away from them, I can just ignore it. That said, from some of the overly-vocal people I do (or rather "did") interact with, I have gotten some of the "you could work if you wanted to"/"you just don't want to get better"/"you aren't trying"/"you are your own worst problem" attitude. I honestly don't understand how people can manage to convince themselves that they're helping by telling people that when it clearly does far more harm than good. But needless to say, I lost my respect for those people very quickly and eventually had no choice but to expel them from my life. They probably thought they were telling me what I needed to hear, but really they just did even more damage to my self-esteem and confidence, thereby undoing a lot of the progress I'd made and plunging me further into reclusiveness and NEETdom.

>>13651
Chewky! You're alive!

Admittedly I don't know anything about your condition, but it certainly sounds like something way beyond yoga and a good diet. I really hate the hollistic-hocus-pokus-hand-wave medicine mindset that some people have toward life. The only reason they think it works is because they haven't encountered any serious problems.

In my case, it's been more funny than offensive, but I've actually had some relatives ask me, dead seriously, to visit them so I can have them exorcise me.

 No.13653

File: 1425531325932.jpg (205.65 KB, 960x640, GENSOKYO CREW4.jpg)

>>13652
>I really hate the hollistic-hocus-pokus-hand-wave medicine mindset that some people have toward life. The only reason they think it works is because they haven't encountered any serious problems.

Yo, I wouldn't say that's the case most of the time. People have different solutions for different problems, and not everybody is cut the same way as to fix their problems with the same actions.
For example, you will find people who will tell you they overcame cancer with a good diet and yoga (in fact, I've read macrobiotics foods actually help curing cancer, and meditation improves self-defenses and helps too with anxiety/nervousness/stress); some will tell you Buddhism is the answer to everything, some will tell you to find Jesus, etc, etc, etc.

The thing is, if you don't actually believe in that, it won't do any good or help for you; but since these people DO believe it will actually help, the thought of their words having the opposite effect on you when will never cross their minds.
Also, what most of these people fail to see is that being a copycat of "exotic" lifestyles won't actually help them more than just, say, for example, living and easy and simple life. They may be wearing robes, eating veggies and listening to mantras all day while writing long sutras on hand-made chinese paper after smoking opium like some cool Shaolin Hare Krishna Butsu while aiming to become a Bodhisattva…, but if they still live with a occidental mindset and aren't free of these worldly attachments, of which they state (even if they don't actually following said rules) people should leave behind and turn themselves to the freedom of "magical eastern" new-age religions, they're living a fake illusion, and what's worse, a commercial one, because all this new-age bullshit is just that. Pretty words, nice promises, but at its core is just a big business.

People often say that said methods are what will lead to a "perfect" (or, to be more precise, stabilized life) without knowing that it isn't just eating a good diet and practicing yoga; It's actually a CHANGE OF HOW YOU SEE THE WORLD AROUND YOU. It's a change in YOUR MIND. You don't actually need all that bullshit, you just need to realize what are your problems, what could fix them, and try to aim for that.
Shakyamuni said that life was about suffering. You just have to check what is causing you suffering and leave that behind. So, ask yourself, do you want to be happy? Most of the time, the answer would be "yes". Then, let me ask you, what can you do/what do you need to do to be happy? Are you doing something to achieve that? What is preventing you to become happy?

Think carefully before reading the spoiler: What should you do to be happy?
And now, change that "should" for "could". That's a good start.

 No.13654

File: 1425531430962.jpg (91.34 KB, 436x520, malvinas_Oroño.jpg)

Of course, there are cases where this won't simply fix anything. Taking the
initiative isn't easy… just like leaving things behind, specially in this world where money or contacts are really needed to survive. And these things aren't just easy to find. But sometimes, sacrifices are needed, and if you want to advance, some things must be left behind. And the main enemy here is the fear. "But if I do that, X may happen, it could be worse", or "I wouldn't be capable of standing on my own after that". "I'm too afraid to even try, because if I fail and fall even deeper in this shithole, I am afraid I will never recover."
Does it sound familiar? I'm pretty sure it's a common feeling, though I bet people on this board actually may have felt it more… intense than the average.

For example, NEETs may actually want a job or study, but for X or Y problem they won't be able to. Magical words of support won't fix these problems. I may tell you to search for your happiness, leave what makes you suffer behind, and to change your mind; that you're not worthless, that you're just judging yourself poorly. But if you don't open your eyes for that truth, my words, even if born from the most pure sentiment of empathy and real wishful thought, will simply make you feel like you're being judged (because it's true, in some point), and these encouragement sentences will just translate in your brain as "You're not doing even what is considered minimum to support yourself, therefore, you have no value at all". Let's add more to this example and say that the family is the impediment, the obstacle in front of this NEET and his happiness. But, can he really leave them behind when he's got no confidence to survive out there in his own? The answer is yes and no at the same time: No, because he's afraid. He could, but he won't, because the fear is far more intense than the thought of achieving happiness. And the sole idea of failing is enough to dismiss any chance.
However, until this person changes his mind, until he finds his answers, sadly, this NEET won't get a "yes". And I say sadly because it is actually possible, but we all are almost too blind in fear as to consider that possibility as even real, or at least until we actually decide to improve. And, since that's a self-made step which every person needs to take by themselves, until that person doesn't get a "click" on their head, one that shows them how to face reality in a different perspective and how to advance in their lives, it won't happen.

If people only realized some persons have more than a simple problem with this, they would probably stop giving any advice like that. I myself often find it hard whether I should tell people my thoughts. After all, it was my click, not theirs. There is a possibility my words may be that too click, but it's a minimum, and risky. The best someone can do to help their loved ones is to support them blindly and help them take their steps.
For most of people, having that someone is a huge pillar to the stability of their minds. One that can make them take the road to their dreams.

So I tell you: if your problem has a solution you can reach, go for it. If not, hang in there, but not alone. And even when you think you're alone, I do assure you: you're not. Even if minimal and pretty underrated, the internet is beautiful, and full of people on the same boat as you. And even amidst the suffering, there is happiness for you. Just don't let it all get the worse of you.

 No.13655

File: 1425532163012.jpg (56.49 KB, 499x425, 1424402181137.jpg)

>>13653
>(even if they don't actually following said rules)
Even if they're not actually following said rules*

>There is a possibility my words may be that too click

There is a possibility my words may be that click too*

God, this is why I hate making long posts, always a fucking typo somewhere.

>>13651
Holy shit dude, long time no see.
I've read in that other thread how you were doing with the new meds you're taking. I'm sorry you're on that, but I hope that things will improve for you, and good luck.

 No.13656

>>13651
how are you broken?

 No.14203

>>10934
why are you even on a board for NEETS if you're just going to be an ass.

>White dude

 No.14219

>>14203
Please don't respond to old bait.



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