/hikki/ - NEET / Advice

That just seems like the beginning of a new friendship. It's not creep/stalker behavior in that context, but obviously it could develop into something unhealthy depending on what direction those thoughts take you.
To answer your first question, yes and no. I swore off thinking/worrying about other people ever again after I made the mistake of looking at this person's LinkedIn profile while I was NEET.

all the time, ill just absorb their interests and fantasize of talking to them about their interests but dont know how to, ill even find their facebooks for fun, is that weird, i just want to be dependent on someone

>>5408
> after I made the mistake of looking at this person's LinkedIn profile while I was NEET
Why would that be a mistake?

>>5410
It isn't logical to waste time agonizing over the personal achievements of someone who spends no time whatsoever thinking of you.

i get obsessive over nearly everyone if they talk to me often, either platonically or romantically, almost always the latter. i don't know how to deal with it, and i only understand it to a certain extent. i'm extremely dependent on other people, and i become a complete mess without someone to rely on. i just can't figure out how to live without someone else guiding me along and helping me and stuff like that

I share some of my classes with this seemingly autistic guy. Barely ever talks, no friends, leaves as soon as the situation allows, almost no internet presence, weird mannerisms. Only thing we clearly have in common is a surface-level interest, and even there our tastes diverge.

Seeing what an enigma of a person he is, and seeming like a person I could relate to well, I got it into my head that I had to get to know him and figure him out, that surely something good would come out of it, and so for a while I obsessed about him and paid attention to every minute detail of his existence from the side to write it down later, almost never actually interacting though, since I rarely got the opportunity, and embarrassed myself a shit ton. It got to the point where I hunted down the name of his high school and found old class photographs of him by meticulously going through the Facebook profiles of each student in his generation. Out of all of our interactions, there was only one time that we casually chatted, made jokes and laughed normally, the rest after that always ended on a sour, awkward note, if you could even call them interactions.

In the end, while I spent god knows how much time agonizing over him, he probably just thought I was a pest, considering his body language (which I interpreted as anxiety at first) and now thinks I'm a retard. In hindsight, I'm fucking disgusted with myself. OP, whatever connection you feel to this person, you're partly just deluding yourself. You don't know enough about them for it to be an indication of a good friendship. If you actually start talking to them it's entirely possible that you'll be disappointed like I was and lose interest. So steer yourself, I guess.

Other than that, I check the blog of this person that changes domain a lot every few months, just to see if I can find it again. When I first did it, they had an IP tracker and since mine was from a neighbouring country, they pegged me as a stalker and freaked out. I don't really care about the person themselves, though.

>>5407
sometimes i stumble upon low-viewed youtube videos made by people with disabilities (autism, cerebral palsy, etc) and i get this uncomfortable burning sensation that doesn't go away unless i check their channels/social accounts to make sure they're alright.
This feeling normally goes away after a couple of days, when i completely forget about them.

>>5421
Only schizos and manic depressives get my attention, and it's not because i'm worried e about them.

>>5420
This post scares me slightly, since I'm sure your description of him is how I'm perceived and because there are a couple of people who occasionally engage with me just like you described. I interpreted it as pity before, now I'm worried that I've got some kind of "mysteriousness" to them.

>>5423
In the past, I came across that way to some people. For most, it's more likely to be pity. Anon is just too used to stories about quiet people actually being something extraordinary.

>>5423
Yeah. I just have to say: I'm so sorry.

>>5428
Don't be, I'm sure >>5424 is right. I was just being dumb.

I do this all the time, probably cause autism

sometimes I stalk people I used to know's instagrams for a few hours at a time
there's this one person though that I've been obsessed with for almost two years now, some suicial NEET trans girl that sent in a bunch of questions to my friend on curiouscat for two weeks then just disappeared and never returned
I never even talked to this person but sometimes I feel like we would be really good friends

Tfw no cute girl stalker

>>5723
tfw no cute guy or girl stalkee

When I was in school, I would obsess over girls I knew that mildly looked like anime characters. It wasn't sexual though, I just had this weird urge to hug them. It was the same feeling you feel when you find a new reaction image you like a lot.

I used to obsess with this guy from a japanese culture forum I used to browse a lot in my early teenage years. He was this kind of guy that knew japanese and everything cool about japan, and his influence is half of what made me what I'm today, for better or worse.
Last time I heard of him was 5 years ago and he was a full blown normalfag, married and with only his job as an hobby. I don't want to change.

Yes, I have.
It started out simple enough. I saw a cute girl that piqued my interest while walking home from class. Fluffy light brown hair, vibrant pink clothes, and cute face to go along with it, only a bit powdered with makeup. Her aesthetics really spoke to me. It was really the innocence she vibrated that spoke to me. The feelings i felt for her (or do I still have those feelings?) were truly platonic. I felt a bit of savior complex thinking about her. I wanted to protect her from things that would never happen. I even dreamt once that while walking in the dark streets she gets mugged, and I happen to stumble upon the two and beat the mugger into submission. My obsession grew stronger and stronger. I found out more about her. She likes used to live in another state, does art, and likes pokemon to an extent. I found out her name through a yearbook and with a quick google search I found basically all of her social media. But enough about her, back to the story. We have about the same route home, so I took her route in hopes she wouldn't notice. I almost found it out, but she caught my following her about my third time. My friend found out about my so-called "crush" on this girl and told her that I liked her. The distance between me and the girl grows longer as not only does she know I like her, but thinks I'm a creep stalker freak when I'm not.
God I'm so self conscious
I just want to love someone and have them love me

It would occasionally happen when I found someone I really clicked with in school due to a shared interest and outlook. I would always seek him/her out to talk to and would often prioritize and look forward to meeting him/her. Sometimes I would feel insecure about it and try to stay away from them more, and eventually we would grow apart.

It never happened to me

i actually have a ton of people online that i stalk and imagine cultivating friendships with

i'm too far gone socially though

I don't have anything to contribute beyond the fact I do the exact same thing >>5811 does.

yeah.
i've been following the same group of writers for three years across tumblrs, across twitters, across chatzy, but they're growing steadily more secretive with their writing, (e.g. you have to submit a few pieces of your own to gain access to their discord channels or whatever). it's somewhat stressful but i guess i've gotta move on/keep what i have on me and get rolling

>>5811
I never really imagined creating a real friendship back when I had internet friends but I did daydream a lot about meeting them in public and having quick conversation, I actually rehearsed some lines and had imaginary conversations with myself as practice in case if that happened, even though I knew none lived anywhere near me.

That's called love.

>>5407
>Has anyone here ever been obsessed with someone for no reason at all? Not in a crush-esque kinda way, just platonic, if that.
When I was younger, I used to hero-worship internet friends and obsessively check for new things they'd post to forums. It would always be one person at a time. Thankfully, I don't think I ever made it obvious to them, and I stopped doing it.

>>5407
Very relatable, especially when I was younger. There have been figures on the internet with many niche hobbies that I've shared. When I was obsessed with these types of people, I eventually found alt accounts which were very easy to find. Of course those alts eventually lead to me finding their telegram handles, their steam, which directed to me finding their friends, which then lead to me finding even more about them. It was very embarrassing each time when I had to cut ties with all of these seemingly likeminded individuals on the net, because they thought I was some guy trying to "fuck up their life" by knowing all of this shit that was readily available online. There was only one special case where that didnt happen and I still talk to him today; but even then, when I archived and reup'd stuff he used to post online, he also got creeped out, but doesnt seem to care now

Any time I find a new content creator on Youtube that I like, I pretty obsessively read their old posts to get more of an insight into their lives. Especially if there's any insinuation/change that they might be gay. Finding "proof" of their sexuality is a huge payoff for me.

I've also combed through the entire social media history of my significant other and kept all the photos that I considered worth keeping. There's something very addicting about knowing everything public about a person, almost like consuming all the works of an artist.

this is normal, just be careful and don't date them. they're usually jerks.

>>5407
i know exactly that feeling. as i learn more about the person i am stalking the more plasure(dopamin hit, like eating sugar) i get, then after a while it becomes boring and i change person. probebly because i have no internet or irl friends

>>5407 yes i have felt that. I used frequent a bunch of art communities, and i found this one israelite girl who seemed to have The 'Tism. Her art and english were very bad but there was such a 'nice person' aura to her and i often thought about me messaging her privately and then becoming friends. I used to check on her a lot and her art had improved, i felt really happy, it was like seeing a baby's first steps or something, but eventually got bored and forgot her usernames.

On the becoming a creep thing, i think you shouldn't worry too much, the outcome depends in wether you actually interact or not and, if you do the former, the way you do it. Most people detect creeps easily so if you make them uncomfortable they will most likely stop interacting.

Judging by the replies this seems to be fairly common… wonder what this phenomenon means

>>6414
you're such a pos

It's dangerouns to obsess over someone AND not interact with them. That's an easy path to idealizations and false expectations and that never ends well for anyone involved.

Every so often I get really horny and watch a lot of porn. I get paranoid about porn being deleted from the internet forever so I save it on my hard drives. Every so often, I stumble on a relatively unknown pornstar who is attractive, but usually retired or mainly only does a bit of modeling and selective paid porn clips on clips4sale or something. I usually get really invested in them and track their social media, and if they aren't active or oddly stopped being active somewhat recently, I try to track down anyone that may know their status. I download as much of their catalog as I can find that is available anywhere online and they don't leave my head for maybe weeks or even months. Especially if they are still silent on social media and that small connection I may feel will be gone.

>>5407
There's a person I've known online for over a year that I wanted to get in touch with in a "I want to be friends with you" way. Recently I started thinking about it again, and for a few weeks I struggled with an urge to message them. Eventually, I cold emailed them a short message, they saw it and I got a response. That got rid of this specific uncertainty and got it off my mind. I wrote multiple drafts before I ended up with the one I sent.

>>6477
feels good to know you aren't the only fucking dumbass that does shit that may be weird

>>5407
I've fallen in love with someone over the internet who I didn't know what they look like.

i think its a nice thing to become obsessed with a person, because most people dont seem to care deeply about someone they love
its such a weird thing when you become more aware of a person's living presence, that they're really sentient and actively thinking and living, and you feel like loneliness cant possibly exist
i dont think i've felt that way about other people for a long time, its always just felt like a two dimensional connection

It wasn't "platonic", but this reminds me of what was probably my best relationship. Finding a person who felt very attracted to me, with whom I could share video game soundtracks, play video games, watch and share similar series, be on video calls until we fell asleep, our inside jokes and.. "do more intimate things"

Until some events like one of his friends feeling jealous of us, he tried to make us break up by telling me that the person was cheating on me by showing me out-of-context screenshots from a long time ago. Being an idiotic teenager, I let myself be carried away by the wrong thoughts (although in the end he got tired of the situation and started dating someone else behind my back until I found out about the unpleasant surprise). Unfortunately, my teenage self got carried away by imaginary jealousy until it stopped being imaginary and we decided to break up. After about 2 years he wrote to me again practically out of nowhere and I was surprised despite what he had done to me in the past. But apparently, it was no longer really that love that he felt for me, but rather a genuine obsession with me (because come on, the same person told me about it in an essay type message) and he decided to get away from me for the good of both of us.



After a while he started following me on social media again and we talked a little, until I decided to abandon all social media. I wish I could find someone to share interests, but socializing as an autistic person is a pain in the ass.

i will fixate on people who i consider to be above me artistically and grind myself into dust thinking "what would this person think about this or that?" sometimes its things that make sense, like about my art, but it happened with this one person so pervasively theres a chance i'll think about them when i change my fucking diva cup.

id like to but nobody is interesting enough

yes 10000% honestly im not even sure if ive ever had a romantic crush on someone i think it all has just been some weird idolizing obsession type thing

Yup unfortunately i kind of try to replicate them and try to steal their like vibe or mood they give off and try to do the same thing as them and be as good as them and passionate. But i get depressed or i simply give up because they have been doing a certain thing for years and i can't hope to become like them within a month.

I stalk someone I know only from reading some MMO forum and some guy's Twitter because his art is cool, solely because they seem to share my interests but are so out of my reach I would never actually talk to either of them as I am an autistic freak.

Yes. I've met some people who have qualities I wish I had, I tend to copy them/try to be more like a them. If I can't be like them, being around them is good too.