I just need to vent before I end up hurting myself over this. TL;DR at bottom.I've been a full-time NEET and something of a shut-in for about 5 years and counting. Despite ticking a lot of boxes for a social outcast (passive, solitary, introverted, anx

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why do i care Anonymous 10/29/15 (Thu) 22:55:44 No.15803

I just need to vent before I end up hurting myself over this. TL;DR at bottom.

I've been a full-time NEET and something of a shut-in for about 5 years and counting. Despite ticking a lot of boxes for a social outcast (passive, solitary, introverted, anxious, practically live on and have all my meaningful human interactions on my pc), I'm not shy or lacking in social tact, and while going to college I had plenty of day-to-day 'normal' friends I enjoyed the company of, went to parties with etc.

Something that's come up once or twice IRL, and a lot online, is how my lack of shyness seems to push away people that seem the most relatable to me. The fact that I'm not socially avoidant seems to get me pigeonholed as just another insensitive, ignorant normie or something along those lines, often by people that seem to share and understand my interests, personal situation or characteristics the most.

Why does this upset me so much? It gets to the point where I start feeling some vague resentment or rejection toward the friends I do have, and intense feelings of loneliness. My friends accept me, do their best and wish me the best, but they don't understand my crippling depression and anxiety, my inability to integrate into society, the intense amount of energy I feel I exert just to get out of bed or feed myself. Every now and then I meet someone that seems to be in the same situation as I am, but every time in the same fashion they seem to just be scared off, and something as simple as a stranger I never talk to silently deleting me from a chat client can throw me into a really dark place when it's been someone I've wished I could find a way of talking to for months or even years.

Do I need to register for some official NEET shut-in badge with a list of my problems printed on it to wave in people's faces before they get the wrong idea? It's really confusing and worrying how a small handful of individuals dismissing me can make me feel so lonely when I have good, caring friends I could talk to any time. What's wrong with me?

TL;DR I am a typical dysfunctional NEET shut-in, but when I meet someone I feel I can relate to they seem to get instantly pushed away by the fact that I have arbitrary social skills and desire to make friends. The people I can make friends with don't relate with my situation at all. How do I deal with it?

Anonymous 10/30/15 (Fri) 02:36:18 No.15804

Hi Anonymous! :)

The problem is with the other people and you can't really do anything to help them or yourself. They need to work on themselves. There are people in the world that you are better off simply avoiding.

Anonymous 10/30/15 (Fri) 16:52:47 No.15809

If you aren't socially avoidant why not try making friends with other people who aren't socially avoidant?

Anonymous 10/30/15 (Fri) 23:11:39 No.15811

>>15809
Not OP, but those people usually lean towards being extroverted and unrelating to NEETs.

Anonymous 11/04/15 (Wed) 14:22:53 No.15848

>>15803
If you're scaring them off, maybe you're coming on too strongly??? When people I've just met talk to me as if we are best friends, just because we have some stuff in common, I find it really off putting.

I do have friends who are NEET-like or shut-ins. Honestly, I kind of of avoid talking to some of them because it's just depressing. Yeah, it sucks to be too dysfunctional for an education/career, but how about instead of playing MMO's, you spend that time trying to pick up a skill? …Saying that, I know full well that isn't an option for some, but it still gets on my nerves…sorry if that sounded kind of insensitive.

By the way, what's the art in your post from, OP?
I really like it!

Anonymous 11/05/15 (Thu) 12:09:47 No.15857

You should just avoid the ones that are like that. They feel threatened by your ability to live in both worlds. I've met people like yourself before so have no doubt about finding them.

Izumi!!gOpzxPRb86 11/06/15 (Fri) 01:16:34 No.15859

File: 1446772594905.jpg (14.25 KB, 360x270, 10428513_10105105527174434….jpg)

my sympathies, this happens to me too. want to add me on skype?
platinumrad

Anonymous 11/06/15 (Fri) 05:48:00 No.15860

File: 1446788880279.png (1.87 MB, 1520x1080, vlcsnap-2014-09-24-21h35m5….png)

>>15804
I get that some people just don't want friends or aren't compatible. I'm talking about the people that just write me off as being an idiot.

>>15848
I know a few people like that and I find it really awkward the way they act toward me sometimes, but I don't think I'm like that myself. I just like having people I can share music and stuff with or that 'get' me when it comes to my societal position.

The picture is by an artist called 'panpanya'. His stuff is really nice! I think it's from this artbook http://www.amazon.co.jp/%E8%B6%B3%E6%91%BA%E3%82%8A%E6%B0%B4%E6%97%8F%E9%A4%A8-panpanya/dp/4907259026

>>15857
I find it hard to look at it that way, though. Kinda sounds like I'd be placing myself above them. I feel like some people get that vibe too, that I'm looking down on them or something, despite the fact that I feel they're on my level more than most other people.

>>15859
Sure :)

Anonymous 11/06/15 (Fri) 15:24:19 No.15862

>>15860
Well, considering you already mentioned having well-developed social skills, I'm gonna trust you on that.
Thanks for the link by the way, looks like something I can spend my autismbux on.
Anyway, you really do seem like a genuinely cool person so if you want to talk you can add me on skype: ttn.tran .

Anonymous 11/06/15 (Fri) 22:39:53 No.15863

so … how do you make online friends anyway? I've been a neet shun-in for years and I've never had one. But I've never really tried to make one because I don't know how.

Anonymous 11/06/15 (Fri) 23:16:18 No.15864

File: 1446851778726.png (655.57 KB, 656x432, 1434660040746.png)

>>15863
A large majority of the people I know online are from games, but I play a lot of multiplayer. I just add most people I have a good experience with.

I'm not a forum user but they are pretty much purpose built to make new friends.

Do you have Skype or Steam or something? Maybe we can be friends. :)

Anonymous 11/07/15 (Sat) 00:47:39 No.15866

>>15863
It's a bit harder for asocial people than it used to be. Technology has moved away from text based chats to VOIPS. IRC is the only good one left but it's not user friendly for new people.

Steam is another good one, but not everyone is into video games, and lots of people expect you to play with them. I use both primarily as a way to talk to people because I'm not too into multiplayer.

Though if you are into voice chat you won't have a problem. You could hop in a public mumble server at any point and be gold.

Anonymous 11/07/15 (Sat) 04:19:35 No.15872

>>15860
Thanks for the art.

>>15863
Go into any number of threads, on any number of imageboards and ask/share you contact information. Literally just ask people if they would like to chat or be friends with you. Start talking to them, see if you have something in common, if you'd like them. It's deceivingly simple.
The hardest part is actually keeping in contact because online it is very easy to message someone over a few days or a week and then never hear from them again or send them a message yourself.

Anonymous 11/08/15 (Sun) 10:20:35 No.15896

How do you even meet these kind of people?
And how did you even manage to keep normie friends when you say you have anexiety and depression?
Remaining friends with normal requires alot of effort, that someone depressed couldnt keep up with.

I dont know how you can be a shutin but still be a able to mange to meet people and have friends.

I suppose there are many people claiming to be loser neets only to look for sympathy when infact they are fairly functioning, compared the actual antisocial creatures alteast.
I dont want to imply that you are one such case, but there are quite a few that and i cant blame them for being cautious and paranoid.

Why bother being friends with these people if they cant understand you?
Seems like a poor relationship when they cannot relate to you properly.

I get the impression youre pushing things too hard, why else would these people have such a hard counter reaction, you cant expect others to want to be your friends and knowing how antisocial they are by nature you should have known better than to attaching yourself too much to the idea of interacting with such people.
I cant say i blame them for being so rejecting to such people, tough i think its uncalled for.

If you have a hard time to feed yourself or get out of bed you might just be lazy.

>>15863
Seems games + chat is the answer.
You can meet a whole lot people on the net with games or game related sites, but you still need some persistent meeting point if you want to really be friends so you can keep good contact, for me that was over irc.
Often tough these friendships revolve around said game and beyond it dont go much further, keep that in mind.

I never really tried just making friends with regular chat rooms or anything, i should have.
Maybe il hop on the tox bandwaggon and see how that goes.

If anyone got experiences then share.

My fucking posts keep looking automated, wtf uboa! @_@

Anonymous 11/08/15 (Sun) 11:43:21 No.15899

File: 1446983001389.png (608.14 KB, 636x478, dsjfhsdjhf83q4yr29-5438654….png)

>>15896
>How do you even meet these kind of people?

On the internet.

>And how did you even manage to keep normie friends when you say you have anexiety and depression?
>Remaining friends with normal requires alot of effort, that someone depressed couldnt keep up with.

That's the thing, it doesn't affect my social skills. I didn't have much common ground with any of my irl friends, but we just hung out in college and sometimes got drunk together outside of it. I don't see how depression has to factor into that, it's easy for me to be happy in the moment or even just put a smile on for a while but that doesn't mean I'm no longer depressed.

>I dont know how you can be a shutin but still be a able to mange to meet people and have friends.

On the internet. I'm not in contact with any of these college friends anymore and don't have any friends irl unless people I had offline meets with counts.

>I suppose there are many people claiming to be loser neets only to look for sympathy when infact they are fairly functioning, compared the actual antisocial creatures alteast.
>I dont want to imply that you are one such case, but there are quite a few that and i cant blame them for being cautious and paranoid.

It seems 'in' at the moment to t-type like t-this and really push how much of a 'no-life' one purports to be into people's faces. I don't like being bundled in with that, and I guess I feel that's what is happening to me.

>Why bother being friends with these people if they cant understand you?
>Seems like a poor relationship when they cannot relate to you properly.

People can relate through much more than just their personal circumstances. I listen to a lot of music, watch a lot of movies, play a lot of online games, I meet people from various walks of life that share my interests. The walk of life just never seems to be my one, and there is always that inevitable awkward disconnect if conversation ever shifts into personal territory.

>I get the impression youre pushing things too hard, why else would these people have such a hard counter reaction, you cant expect others to want to be your friends and knowing how antisocial they are by nature you should have known better than to attaching yourself too much to the idea of interacting with such people.
>I cant say i blame them for being so rejecting to such people, tough i think its uncalled for.

I guess I worded it badly in the OP, but I was getting more at why it upsets me so much. 'How do I deal with it?' was a question of dealing with rejection. I just feel really upset when someone seemingly doesn't give me a chance.

Being rejected by 'normal' people would just figure, but being rejected by someone I feel is in the same situation as me is upsetting. I'm not asking how to stop these people from rejecting me, I'm asking how others in my situation deal with it, if they do.

>If you have a hard time to feed yourself or get out of bed you might just be lazy.

Maybe.