/n/ - NEET

There is escape iv you're not too depressed to pull yourselv up and vind ways to educate yourselv. Your govermenmt probably should have some sort ov integration programs vor people like you. Either that or you kill yourselv or (which is most likely) nothing will change at all.

Being a NEET has done awful things to me, my social skills, and my worth as a human being. I feel sick to my stomach thinking of my future, but I'm closer to 18 than 23, so I luckily have time to pick myself up. But it's so hard to find any kind of motivation after living like a mooching asshole for so long.

I wish I had chosen to live my life like a normal person.

>>15073
Is your F key broken or something?

>>15076
Yes, it actually is.

I have no idea, I'm 22 and never had any real life friends or worked a day in my life and I was also pulled out of school at a young age.

I started my isolating NEETdom at the ripe age of 16.

I don't see my life as being damaged because in order to have a damaged life you would need one in the first place.

>pretty much incapable of doing anything productive whatsoever
Same, I can't take anything seriously half the time and talking to people is a confusing mess for me.

>I can't escape the looping negative thoughts and regrets now
I don't even get those, I only laugh at myself. It might be all the years of anime, video games and drugs. It beat me senseless. (like my parents)

>spent the most important years of my life on godforsaken imageboards

Imageboards have been my parents since my real ones only used me as a punching bag.


Nowadays I just engage in forms of self-parody and make fun of my own horrible excuse of a life for laughs.

I missed out on having any social life outside of school since my puberty years.
It bothers me alot, i want to catch up with what i missed, i know its not much, but i still cant help getting panic about it.
Also no actual experiences either, maybe my computer related skills can be of use tough.

neetdom begins before neetdom

>>15082
Please elaborate.

>>15084
Not >>15082, but from my understaning of lurking on neet boards it is that for most of us reculsive behaviour started to manifest in early school or even before it and that neetdom effectively is the near final consequence of lifelong cumulative reculsive, speak anxiety and depressive and such, tendencies.

No time for regrets. My situation may be bleak, but I mustn't let negative thoughts get to me. Take heart and keep trying to rise above your upbringing.

Only damage I've really had is from the poor diet I gained from NEETdom, and apparently I'm far too eager to have conversations with people. Maybe some "weird" interests, too.

Who knows. Give it a decade or two and maybe the cracks will really start to show.

>>15071
Who says you need social skills for someone to employ you? There are plenty of people who work from home because they prefer not to interact with other people
You can always do freelancing for at least some cash and assuming you live in a first world country you should be able to get food from food banks and financial assistance from your government
Believe it or not it's actually more work to be homeless than it is for some jobs
My friend literally sits on his ass for 8 hours and plays his 3DS and gets paid $15 an hour for it
There's always a way if you look for one

Being a NEET for me has been like resting after being in a serious accident.
It sucked, because everything fucking hurt at first, and for a long time during. And for a while I struggled and resisted where I was, because I'd been taught that this was all wrong, and I just made my shit worse.
But by taking the time to just fucking be, I've been getting better.
I doubt I'd be alive if I hadn't taken this time off.
I regret nothing.

>>15071
>permanently FUBAR
Nothing is permanent.

>I spent the most important years of my life on godforsaken imageboards
What's done is done. The past is important. If we fail to learn from our mistakes we are doomed to repeat them but while understanding the past is the knowledge you need to change the future the tools that you need to do this are where they always are in the present.

Also, if you'll permit me the indulgence of blindly stating my religion (as opposed to my crazy theories) as fact. These boards are not godforsaken. He sees them as he sees all things, through our eyes, and, in the end, he wishes to see everything that it means to be alive, not just the nice parts.

>the isolation has destroyed my social skills
That leaves you a step up from the people who never had them. They'll start to come back soon after your confidence does. Though they'll probably need sharpening.

>I can't escape the looping negative thoughts and regrets now. It makes me almost nauseous.
Regrets are poison. That's why they make you feel nauseous. Looking back on your mistakes is one thing, but staring at them and cursing their existence serves no one. The past is laid in stone and the strength of oceans of tears could not change that.

>My predicament is the culmination of every shitty, lazy, avoidant decision I have ever made and there is no escape.
Good. You've looked back, you've seen your mistakes, you've understood them and most importantly you have accepted them as your own. Now, you need to take what you've learned, about your mistakes and about yourself and apply it to your life and change. Easier said than done? Perhaps, but I cannot help you there. Your will is your own, I cannot force you to use it.

But enough theory, practical advice will be far more useful to you. Sadly I can't really help you with the specifics of this because I don't really know what you saw when you looked back on your life. It does sound like you're concerned with employment. Do you have any ideas for careers you might like to try? You should discuss them with someone or post them or whatever you like really. The most important thing is just to get moving.

It will be tiring at first. Like everything else your will atrophies if you don't use it (kinda), but like all exercise you will grow stronger. Nobody ever promised that this would be easy, only that it would be worthwhile.

>>15080
>in order to have a damaged life you would need one in the first place.
You have a life anon. The same as all of us, you have a life to do with as you please and when all is done and counted a life spent on imageboards under the warm anaesthetic of laughter counts as well as any other. I can only wish you well on your path.

>>15114
This goes totally against everything I've said. Good post. There's a saying (actually there isn't. When I looked it up it to credit the quote, it turns out it's a modified version of a prayer in the AA but I like this version better. They imply there's a difference).

"May I have the strength to change what I cannot accept and the wisdom to accept what I cannot change"

You have options. If you've read the bulk of what I've written and come to the the perfectly fair conclusion that it's complete bullshit then it's probably not the path for you. Acceptance works just as well as strength (among other things, there's more than just this way to look at the world) though I'd advise people to focus more on one side than the other, as I've done with strength here (gotta min-max).

There's no need to stick to one or the other (in some ways it's impossible to), I focused on the strength to change things because, here, they really do "need" to change. As OP acknowledged his situation is not sustainable forever.

Of course, your path is yours and yours alone. Accept what you like and change what you don't. Do as you please. Just, please, do something. If you aren't happy, you need to be moving, either mentally or physically, or nothing will change (If you ask me, happiness is no excuse to stop moving but opinions differ).

25 and I haven't had any friends since high school. After my last attempt to turn things around last year i've realized I probably never will be able to.

My employability has also suffered extensively, but I care less about this than my inability to socialize, make friends, or just live for myself like people say to.
I'd say these are due larger due to my mental health history than simple NEETdom though. I wish therapy/meds had worked.

I'd like to die.

>>15071

I think it's a symptom rather than the cause. At least in my case. I can't really interface with others properly, and it's been that way since at least late primary school. It's not my or anyone else's fault, I don't think. I've always been different, incompatible. Something gets lost in translation, every time. I mean, I get intonation and body language, but… I really don't. The understanding is only on a conceptual level. Somehow, when it comes to implementation or decoding, some mental faculty responsible just doesn't work. Well it does, but barely, and for whatever reason making it work for even a short while is terribly exhausting.

This is absolutely disastrous in real life communication. Nonverbal language comprises most of the message, with words almost a mere embellishment. Almost all of the meaning is lost on me. Words is all I have. I know many, many more of them than most people, and God knows I will need every single one of them plus a great deal more than that just to be able to express myself in a decently coherent manner.

But until that happens, and I'm not sure if I'll live long enough for that, text-based communication will remain my domain. Nonverbal language cannot help you here.

So yeah, a lot of the time talking to others is fucked. Beyond all repair. Whenever I talk, I sound either dispassionate or insanely animated and my (lack of) body language severely fucks with others' expectations. And when they talk, they don't actually literally, LITERALLY literally seriously mean every word of what they say and it takes ages for me to figure out, by which point it's already way too late because of the relatively quick-paced nature of conversations.

Life is still fun sometimes, though. You can but watch as others' reactions to their perception of you gradually turn from baseline to annoyance then anger and/or worry then fear. None of us can understand, and neither do we want to. Nothing makes sense and life is a chaotic mess, a dreamlike grotesque. Your language, sheer and pure as to be otherworldly, unreal in its precision, slices right through their minds; your blunt metaphors crush their bones and horrifically disfigure their faces from excessive cringing. And they, confusion made flesh, append meanings to each sentence, and then obscure them from your sight, bogging you down as they move in for the easy kill. We are pitted against each other in a meaningless, yet unavoidable, battle to the death. I guess it has to be that way. There is always much delight to be derived from just stringing words together and see them make perfect sense in your head before ushering them into existence. For a brief moment, before you inevitably crash against the cold reality of how talking to people really works, you vividly imagine yourself being understood for once.

—

All right, that's enough. The above is how I want, how I'd like to, talk to others. Obviously I can't, because you're supposed to show emotion through body language. People will give you weird looks if you don't, and will make fun of you for verbosity. I'm clearly an aspie, and my strong suits all involve or even require not talking to people. Talking to them is what I suck at HARD. But you have to talk to them. I dunno, it's tough but manageable in short sessions. In general, that bullshit has hurt me more than being a NEET probably ever will. 24 here, I see we are all relatively young. We'll make it somehow.

>>15080
>at the ripe age of 16
I started my NEETery around 12. It's hard for me to feel any regular human emotion at this point, so I don't even feel like I want to die anymore. I'm just emotionally numb to most things now.

>>15149
I started my NEETery around 12.

I'm the same. We were fucked before we even got a chance.

>>15150
>>15149
You guys dropped school at 12? That must have been tough.

>>15151
Yeah, no kidding. That must be pretty devastating to anyone. What happened?

>>15151
I didn't drop school but I just really didn't care for it all that much, only got mildly decent grades and after school, I would just shut myself in my room and play vidya all day. I only really became aware of what I was doing around that age, but I'd been doing that sort of thing since I was like, 8 or 9.

>>15154
I actually dropped out. Guess I'm alone after all.

>>15156
We're not alone in spirit. I only didn't drop out due to having nothing else to do.

I don't really regret anything yet, I haven't really started "life" so I haven't experienced the consequences of being a lazy shit.

If I ever do manage to "make it" I don't think I'll really regret having taken so long either. I don't really talk to anyone else, so none of their achievements really matter to me.

What I do regret is not learning to socialize properly, I'm a fucking mess because of it.

>>15080
>pretty much incapable of doing anything productive whatsoever
same, except I don't really feel regret of my past as much as complete terror for the future.

19, going to start classes for GED in a little under a week, never went to anything I'd call a real highschool or much under that, either. And I resent it, even if I know it would've been 99% shit. I spent all my childhood on the computer or watching TV or, less of the time, reading, and I don't have a ton to show for it. It wasn't even an enjoyable childhood really.

>>15243
What made you decide to start those classes?

>>15246
If I ended up being in my 20s and having no chance whatsoever of being anything other than a futureless leech, I would hate myself with a strong passion.

>>15247
You do realize that there's people out there who have seriour issues? Many NEETs don't go into education or work because they don't want to but because they would suffer otherwise tremendously. I for example have an autism spectrum disorder, social anxiety as well as paranoid schizophrenia. The only way to enjoy life for me seems to be through the creation of alternate personalities, new neurological patterns, for my base personality got already fucked to its very core. Being "me" is very unsatisfying because it gets accompanied with various different fears. I do not feel regrets because I do not feel like I have had a choice to chose from. I was more or less destinied to get onto the path I walk now.

On the side: Why can't I add images to my post? There appears an error messagy when I try to post a reply with an image.

>>15251
If you do that it'll just grow back you know.

>>15251
Why?

>>15253
why not?

>>15135
>I care less about this than my inability to socialize, make friends, or just live for myself like people say to.
Good. You know what you want.

>I'd say these are due larger due to my mental health history than simple NEETdom though
And you know what stands in your way of getting it.

>I'd like to die.
And you know why you want it, almost anyway. There are few who wish only for death, what most truly crave is rebirth.

Death and rebirth are strong metaphors for me, they play a large part in my personal philosophy. From species to people to cultures to ideas, the old must die that the young may have room to flourish. Within a life, old habits and worldviews die and new ones take their place. Most of the time this is a gradual process, old parts of us dying as new parts grow, like cells in a body.

Other times things aren't so good. People find themselves in places they don't want to be and worse find that they have trouble leaving. Depression is the obvious example, though there are others. The majority eventually move, no situation is truly hopeless. Some stagnate and simply wait for a physical death. Some bring that death upon themselves, the poor lost souls, but there are also some few who just let go and in a single eternal instant they die and are reborn.

It's not a course I'd advise for most and even if you do feel you're headed that way the simplest way to get there is to wear yourself out trying everything you can to change your situation normally, even if you don't think it will work. Of course there are other ways, you don't even need depression or the like to force it, at the end of the day you just have to let it all go.

Anyway, that's just a small aside into my personal philosophy. I'd worry posting this on /rainbowsandsunshine/, people can get the wrong idea. Take it from someone who's spent a long time mulling these things over, physical death is not the way. It's short-sighted, hurtful and generally foolish. No matter what hellish place you find yourself, you can always just let go.

>>15147
>I can't really interface with others properly
>The understanding is only on a conceptual level.
>some mental faculty responsible just doesn't work.
This is fairly common. I dealt with it myself when I was young.

>making it work for even a short while is terribly exhausting.
Hey, this is good, you can make it work, on demand no less. This is actually one of the harder bits. Normally I wouldn't suggest this, but you might consider exercising your ability to make it work. Everything gets easier with practice. In combination with the method I'm about to describe it would mean you're approaching the problem from both sides. It's up to you really.

What worked for me was just practising the motions of things. Learn how to fake a good smile first, I can still remember focusing on making sure it went "all the way to the eyes". Learn how to act angry, surprised or concerned. At first this will be a rather mechanical process and it'll take time before people stop being able to notice that something is off. Keep at it and you can potentially excel socially just by acting. Being good at acting like this is the reason sociopaths are often so charismatic. So long as you do your best to portray your genuine emotions the majority of the time, it'll slowly start to become habit, until eventually it's as natural for you to smile when you're happy as it is for anyone else.

So please, practice and keep practising every day. I can't promise you'll end up a social genius, I can promise that you'll be better than you were the day before.

>>15249
>The only way to enjoy life for me seems to be through the creation of alternate personalities, new neurological patterns,
It seems you and I have similar ideas of fun.

>for my base personality got already fucked to its very core.
So burn it, from the sounds of it you have others. I know, I know, it's not so easy is it? For better or worse there's a lot there and it all means so much to you. You've been through a lot together, you've suffered side by side and bear the scars to prove it. It's served you well over the years, and more than that it's an old friend.

For its sake you must do this. It's old and weak and it pains it to bear the weight of a life. Give it its final task, the one that all "base" (there isn't a hard distinction) personalities perform in the end. Have it choose its successor (or create a new one) and then let it sleep.

And for your own sake you must do this. Let it go.

>I do not feel like I have had a choice to chose from. I was more or less destinied to get onto the path I walk now.
You had a choice just like you do now. The choices don't always make themselves apparent and there's no promise that the paths you'll find will be any easier but they are always there. We always have a choice. Right now you have a choice, choose wisely.

>>15256
>So long as you do your best to portray your genuine emotions the majority of the time, it'll slowly start to become habit, until eventually it's as natural for you to smile when you're happy as it is for anyone else.

This works, I can confirm. Been doing this since 13/14 years old.

>>15256
What I want is literally unachievable. You don't know me or what i've tried, so you don't know any better, but that really is how it is all factors considered. No matter where I go, or what I do different, the end result is the same.

>Depression is the obvious example, though there are others. The majority eventually move, no situation is truly hopeless
I've had 16 years of depression and countless attempts at therapy and inpatient to change it. It is worse today than it was last year, and the times before. You can choose to believe the idea that "All things work themselves out", but it simply isn't true, and there are countless testimonies out there if you cared enough to hear their stories. Most don't, because it's not what they want to hear.

I've exhausted every single possiblitiy I am really capable of to try and change my situation and myself, and it has involved more than most successful/neurotypicals have ever had to go through. I get the general assumption of "you probably never tried", but it's a bad assumption and simply not true in this case.

Your views on those who do end their lives are again, understandable and normal, but selfish, and ignoring a few of the most important factors that are considered when someone is ready to kill themselves.

>>15258
>You don't know me or what i've tried
Quite right.

>You don't know any better
Now here I beg to differ, you've got me all wrong, which is mostly my fault.

>"All things work themselves out", but it simply isn't true
Quite right. We're the ones who have to work them out.

>there are countless testimonies out there if you cared enough to hear their stories. Most don't, because it's not what they want to hear.
I know. I've written one, sent it to a friend just over two years ago. We haven't spoken much since.

>I've exhausted every single possiblitiy I am really capable of to try and change my situation and myself
You're going to hate me for this but keep trying. When you are truly exhausted you will not have the strength to hold on any longer and you will let go. I have done this myself and I have met others who've done it. I can only assume that this path is open to you as well. It is not a place many will go and they can be thankful for that, the time leading up to it was harrowing in the extreme. I don't expect you to just believe me of course, that's as it should be for a number of reasons. First, I'm clearly insane. Second, I'm some guy on an imageboard making some pretty bold claims. Third, that would give you hope, and it's not a place you can find when you have that.

That said, it's your life, your choices and you do have other options. I don't think stagnation is a great thing philosophically, but I can understand that that's personal to me. If you wish to remain where you are, by all means, do so. I have no say in the matter. The other option we'll come to in a moment.

>it has involved more than most successful/neurotypicals have ever had to go through. I get the general assumption of "you probably never tried"
Oh fuck that assumption. Show me a rich kid who breezed through life and got a cushy job at daddies company and I'll show you someone who never tried, but some lives are far harder than others. I cannot justify this. It has as much justification as gravity. It simply is. I know it isn't easy, not on any scale, and it sure as hell isn't fair but it's the life that you have.

There's another thing I should say. "Just let go", is the last step in a long process. Sure, it's all you strictly need to do, but for a person to actually really do so requires the right state of mind which is difficult and time consuming at best. Honestly, that aside into my philosophy perhaps wasn't wise, I can't see it helping anyone. Those who really need to pass that way are far beyond the reach of anything I could write. I wrote it mostly because it's quite rare that I can talk about such things at all, I'd rather not have the reputation that would come with it, so I'm just looking for excuses to waffle when I'm posting anonymously. It's not a terrible thing, but it is a little selfish, which brings us nicely to.

>Your views on those who do end their lives are again, understandable and normal, but selfish
I cannot argue this. You're right, they are selfish. Though they aren't so normal as I made them appear. In reality, I do not draw a distinction between those who choose to remain as they are and those who take their own lives. They both remain the same for some length of time and then die (and are reborn, but that is distinctly in the territory of religion). There is no shame or pride in seeking death or running from it, either way it comes, but, right or wrong, despite all these philosophies and rationalisations, it still makes me sad to think about it.

But why did I misrepresent myself? Same as usual, stupid, selfish reasons. I have never had anyone kill themselves due to something I've said before and I worried how that would weigh on my conscience. The knowledge that my words would only be the straw that broke the camels back or that I'd probably never find out, or that I just said some stuff I think is true and then they made their own decisions did little to ease matters. Like you say, I was selfish, my conscience is not what's important here, and it was also just foolish, my apologies.

I did a laughably bad job of justifying it as well, immediately resorting to arguments to authority then an unexplained list of trite reasons and a bad attempt to keep it tied with the theme, saying you can "just let go" when, in a way, that's what they are doing.

That said, I stand by my assertions that there is always a choice and that no situation is truly hopeless (along with everything else outside the "I'm worried" paragraph). Some situations are, however, far beyond my reach and perhaps the reach of any person alive.

>>15259
I'm not any of them, in fact, I don't even belong here at all, I'm social and have a good life. However, I'm extremely intrigued by you. You seem to have a real bunch of experience dealing with people. You are not young, I can tell, I don't dare to push a number, but I'm pretty sure it's quite big.
I don't want to say much more, to be honest I think I'm going to recieve bad looks by any other person who looks at this comment but I had to say it. Whoever you are, whetever you are, thank you for what you're doing, I'm sure that you've saved more than once person from drowning. The world needs more people like you.

>>15266
>I don't even belong here at all, I'm social and have a good life.
And that means you don't belong?

>You are not young, I can tell, I don't dare to push a number, but I'm pretty sure it's quite big.
I am younger than the mountains and older than the trees.

I'm 24

They're very young trees

>I think I'm going to recieve bad looks by any other person who looks at this comment
I know that feel. I'm grateful for the anonymity.

>Whoever you are, whetever you are
I am whatever the moment requires of me and I am nothing. Right here and now. I am just another anon offering advice.

>thank you for what you're doing
You're welcome and I'm quite flattered by your kind words but, really, there is no need.

>I'm sure that you've saved more than once person from drowning
No. I've sat and talked with countless people who've then gone on to save themselves. My role in this was a minor one.

>The world needs more people like you.
The world needs all sorts of people. I am nothing special.

>>15071
Nothing is permanent. If you're willing and able to help yourself, and if you have sufficient time at your disposal, then you can undo or work around very nearly any negative change or circumstance.

Take your concerns about not having any marketable skills, for instance. You obviously have internet access if you're posting here, so you also have access to Khan Academy (https://www.khanacademy.org/), MIT OpenCourseWare (http://ocw.mit.edu/index.htm), and other such free online resources by which you can educate yourself to build on your baseline knowledge. If you wanted to go for a software development angle, you could further practice and learn with Project Euler (https://projecteuler.net/) and HackerRank (https://www.hackerrank.com/), then join up with an open-source project (More info: http://www.kegel.com/academy/opensource.html) to sharpen your programming ability and to accumulate experience to list on a CV/resume.

On the other hand, if you were more interested in writing, you could get into the habit of writing on a daily basis and publishing it on a blog (https://wordpress.org/) in order to create a portfolio of your work; it also helps to have some volunteer writing work (http://www.idealist.org/) to show alongside your personal work. From there, you could seek out freelance writing jobs (http://www.freelancewriting.com/ ; http://www.freelancewritinggigs.com/) – note that you may want to offer to do work either very cheaply or for free for the first couple of times, so that employers are more likely to consider you and thus allow you to obtain experience.

As for your social skills, you could exchange email addresses or IM account names with the other users here and practice interacting with them. Once you've gotten more confident in that regard, you could proceed to IRC chatrooms or other such group chats to adjust to participating in a group environment, though it may take some searching to find a reasonable community in which to participate. I suspect, however, that you'll find that your social skills will improve as your work on your marketable skills, since you'll be active in communities of people who share a common interest. Similarly, your cyclic negative thoughts and regrets will hold less weight in your mind, as you'll see that you can turn things around for the better. Either way, though I truthfully haven't read it myself, I'd recommend looking over How to Win Friends and Influence People (PDF: https://tinyurl.com/p6wfb8n ; Overview: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People) to pick up some information on socialization in general.

Unfortunately, all of your entrenched habits and feelings are going to resist any sort of constructive change in your lifestyle, especially at first. At times, turning things around will very well feel like an insurmountable task, and it'll be difficult indeed to ignore the desire to give up and fall back into a state of hopelessness. I believe, however, that you – you and everyone else here – have it within yourself to push past these wraiths of despair and reverse the damage that has been inflicted upon you. Moreover, as you continue forward, your progress will build upon itself and lessen the internal resistance, so don't grow discouraged by how difficult it initially feels – it WILL become easier if you keep at it.

>>15289
fuck that, I'm never interacting with people online ever again
i don't want to get fucking doxxed and become a le epic lolcow

>>15347
Whoa, what happened?

you're a good writer though

>>15135
stop taking your meds and live

>>15357
Some people can't do that anon.

Closer to 30 than 40 but that's changing everyday. I've learned, I've loved, I've lived… and none of it felt good for more than a moment. It always led me back to isolation and NEETdom. Being a NEET isn't without its problems but it feels comfortable. Pain and turmoil can become so intimately intertwined with identity but it never becomes easier. Coming from a large family I have a lot of comparisons made.

I'll ride this out until I find the perfect combination of courage and disgust to once again try to end my life.

>>15388
I feel something similar, was just about to write something like you just did. Even though I can't say I really "lived" or "learned", or did anything, I think I know what you mean. It's as if we're bound to be the same no matter what we do, or how far we run away.

Feels like you're going in big circles, always returning to the same point eventually. Or the same place, but on slightly different circle.

>>15078
lol'd

i never wanted to be anything close to this shit. ever. i used to make fun of you people. then some shit happened and i get panic attacks literally at the drop of a dime. then ulcers. lots. been to doctors, useless. it's all cool man. humanity is fucking retarded anyway. leave 'em be.