Hi /n/, first time I come here.
I'm here because I don't know what I should do anymore. I have been a neet for around a year now and I can't say I am enjoying it nor dislisking it because of how I was kind of enjoying doing what is fun to me aka video games and watching animes mainly but seems like endless circle since I keep moving from a thing to another to kill boredom. On the other side, often when I go sleep now I feel like I am pitiful being a burden to my parents since I still live there even if there's a lot of pressure. I am almost 21 now and could probably not be able to live alone.
Background: started middle of high school when I switched school and slowly got more and more shy and introverted. School skipping started and even though I was skipping a lot I was able to maintain above average grades and get done with high school but then pre-university/post-high school came by and started failling classes because of skipping/lack of interest since I was always alone and kinda lost about where I was going.
Friend wise, after mid high school when I moved and lost contact with my friends from back then I didn't make any friends, I wasn't shy to the point of not being able to hold a conversation but I would never go forward to people nor bring anyone higher than people I know level. I also always had the feeling that I am the only one alone and everyone is in groups and that always scared me from trying to make friend with anyone. I do make friends online from a game to another but even though I have a lot of fun with them with game related things, I never thought those as friends but only gaming buddies for a specific game and once I find a better game I just move on to other people.
Now, like I said, I don't feel like I am living a fulfilled life because I do not have someone dear to me and also because of the burden I am to others. I am a smart guy who could probably just go back to studies whenever to aim for a job I could enjoy a little while not having to worry about money. However, I don't feel like having motivation to do anything as it is now. I see people around me who aim for great goals and had family expecting me to be the "successful kid" but I am underachieving and I don't know what to expect from anything… Almost like I am waiting for the enlightment which isn't happening. Looking at my daily activites, I feel like I fell pretty low since I go sleep very late around 3 am, waking up around 12 pm and then proceed to do anything that can distract me until bed time. I shower like 2 times a week at best atm and besides eating whatever snacks I can until the one family supper happens. I don't even bother putting clothes on, I just use my dressing gown or my sheets.
I seek any advice, similar past experience, discussion or anything that could help me figure out where I should go.
Sorry for long post and thanks if you took time to read/answer.
Well if you're not happy, there is no science you have to change your shit sir.
There is this invisible villian, time, time is a bitch, if you keep this going it will eat months or years of your life with lots of things that you would have wanted to do and you won't recover it, sure you can try to do these things, but it's not the same, if time eats a part of your life, it's gone.
You know what you need, motivation, you have no ambitions or "things to do things for".
Can you imagine how you would be happy? A goal
A family? Maybe economical freedom? Nothing?
If you have no reason to motivate you to live, What if you make finding this reason your motivation?
If anything, you're not ok as NEET, and time is eating you, so anything, watever even if it's stupid is better than staying there playing games.
I don't know, don't ask me I'm a dog.
Sorry to interject, since I'm not a NEET, but if that doesn't bother you then I can tell you what I did. I hope it helps you in some way.
During and after High School I felt like you. I still do; zero motivation for anything, applying only the minimum effort possible and trying to interact as little as I can. I love computers and spent most of my life in front of one, either with games, anime or learning, so I decided that if I wanted to do something, it should be related to either hardware or software. As probably many of us, I thought it would've been nice to work in the game industry, but I really lack imagination and motivation to work in such projects, and I really wouldn't be able to cope with working on a team with other people, and, as you can see, working alone isn't a possibility since I can't really do music and/or find a goal as to what accomplish as to really get some demo or something.
Either way, I enjoy fixing and working with computers, or generally being around them. It's really nice, people don't really bother you unless they're interested in what's going on (if you want them to go away you just have to talk 1337), and you're basically your own boss. I then just checked what careers in college could get me involved me with them and found Electronic Engineering as the only option. Since I don't have too much problems with math and physics (which seems to be the "hard" part), it seemed worth to give it a shot, and the word "engineer" holds some kind of mystical value in nowadays society, so it was a plus.
Truth be told, I really don't know what I'm really going to do after I finish this stuff. There is an Atomic Center here in my city, and I've heard they're taking ex-students who finished college to work there, but I have the impression that it's going to be really stressful and I'm not sure if I will be able to make it. It feels more like I'm making excuses with these "life projects" so people don't bother me rather than doing what something for myself. Being honest, I hardly doubt I will make it after my 30's. I really dislike how this stuff is organized, and I'd rather be alone doing nothing.
However, here in my country I get paid for going to college, so that too is an extra help (for which I'm pretty grateful). And learning new things is good too, even when I look around and realize I'm alone while everybody is in their own circles. While it doesn't bother me, it just makes me realize at what point I'm slowly strading away from the rest of people. It is weird, being so calm of something that seems so off for most of people. I feel more and more alienated of this world, in some sense. I really don't belong there.
So, my point is, you may just have to ask you what do you enjoy doing, and aim there for something. It's really hard, specially when you're not sure if you actually have something you enjoy as to go all the way down for. I don't really like telling people things like "You just have to think of something and do it!" just like that, since I felt my mind and soul rotting when I had to ask myself the same thing, but I personally haven't found other way to try. Or, to be more precise, I'm still trying to get my shit togheter, since finding a what to do is just the first step. It would be kinda unfair of me to expect that other person having this kind of problem will magically find an answer out of simple advice, but I also found out in the past that raw and simple advice helps getting some motivation, or at least rethink a few things that could help. Just rethink what you enjoy and find what you long for, anon, or what you want to make for yourself.
It sounds kinda rash, but you have to take care of yourself and don't expect much help. I learned that other people rarely bother with helping others, and if they're willing to, they can't understand you, so they really don't know what to do either. But, while others won't help you resolve your dilemmas, you may want to have some kind of support. I found it on the internet. It's good that you started this thread.
>often when I go sleep now I feel like I am pitiful being a burden to my parents
Good. That's the right thing to feel.
>I can't say I am enjoying it nor dislisking it because of how I was kind of enjoying doing what is fun to me aka video games and watching animes mainly but seems like endless circle
It is an infinite cycle.
Remember: your (and everyone else's) subconscious mind actively rejects all change in behavioral patterns, unless it finds a new pattern that offers stronger, more immediate gratification.
>I don't know what I should do anymore
They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
Are you not OK with where you are in life? I know I enjoy wasting my time on internet/computer stuff and video games. It wasn't until I found my first (really boring) job that I started to think I deserved a bit more from life and had to try doing something about it.
Until you know clearly what you want and realize that you really want it, I don't think there can be any meaningful change.
At first I was thinking you were just being a dick, but at the end I actually found it quite positive and I think I needed that, even if my goal is to be a neet, fucking go for it and dont be sad