/n/ - NEET

I've been taking pills for a year. I wasn't unable to decide if I needed them or not, however, I'm still stuck with the meds.
I don't like to take the pills unless I have so much anxiety I just can't take it, but I feel like the pills are controlling my mind, and I often find myself wondering… Is this real me or are the pills which are forcing me to act like that?
Sorry for my english.

There have been attempts to medicate me for at least 6 years now, including two stays in mental hospitals and basically being a test rat, but I didn't find a combination that worked until ~3 months ago. It's an antidepressant, a benzo and a hypnotic [for sleep].

I'm really sorry you have to go through this. Quitting meds cold turkey can be really hard on you and can, in some cases, make you seriously ill. There are reasons why the leaflets you get with medication tell you not to share them with other people. I stopped my medication like that a couple of times out of desperation, but I got away with just brain zaps and general confusion for a couple of days.

Have you considered going to a psychiatrist to get your own prescriptions? Or are you unable to?

>>13476
>>13477
>I feel like the pills are controlling my mind, and I often find myself wondering… Is this real me or are the pills which are forcing me to act like that?
I feel the same way toward psychiatric medications, otherwise I might be taking some (no offense to those who are; I wish I was in your position). Plenty of different kinds have been made available to me, but I'm wary of being constantly under the influence of any mind-altering substance. Taking certain recreational drugs is one thing, since that eventually wears off–but as for living my entire life like that, it really scares me. I wish I could get myself to take something, because I need virtually all the help I can get.

I was put on prozac but I didn't notice it helping me any. I was also put on some other pull but that pretty much zombified me and made a lot of my darker thoughts come out even more. I'm trying to get my doctor to get me klonopin.

I'm on some really mild stuff because my moms afraid of letting me on anything serious, or effective. I hope that I'll be able to be in control of what I'm able to take soon so I can get the medication I need. All the doctors I've talked to have wanted to give me stronger medication so I don't think it'll be hard to get after she's not overseeing my prescriptions.

I can't believe I remembered my trip.
Since there's no official medication yet for Borderline Personality Disorder (what I eventually got diagnosed with) I was bounced from antidepressant to antidepressant before landing on the hellspawn that is Paxil (paroxetine). As a medication, it works fantastically, but its withdrawal symptoms are comparable to those that heroin addicts experience, and since I'm so thin and sickly they kick in even a few hours after the usual dosage time. I also get these god awful night sweats that literally soak through the sheets and bedding, even though I'm not normally that heavy of a sweater.

I really, really want to go off of it soon but after a hospital visit and with multiple other medications/tests/possible diagnoses following suit, I can't really afford to put my body through that hell right now. I wouldn't advise even my worst enemy to get on this medication. It's so awful there's been multiple lawsuits over it.

>>13533
Holy shit man, I'm glad you're still alive.
With every disappearance you have I always think you may have died, so it's a relief when you bump here and there once in a while.

>but its withdrawal symptoms are comparable to those that heroin addicts experience
>I wouldn't advise even my worst enemy to get on this medication. It's so awful there's been multiple lawsuits over it.

Well fuck, that indeed sounds terrible. Words can't really do much but I hope things will turn ok for you. Hang in there.

>>13533
Holy Jesus it's nice to know you're still alive. I was kind of worried.

And yeah that sounds insanely nasty, hopefully you can get off it soon enough.

i'm on a lot of meds.

bipolar depression, adhd, etc.

I take adderal, clonazepam, xanax, hydroxozine, latuda, lamotrigine, ambien.

lots of it is abusable.
im realy into drugs. its bad

>>13536
I know that too much of a good thing is bad, but I'm very, very envious of you. I'd prefer to be under the influence 80% of my waking life.

>>13537
where do you live anon? anyone in minnesota?

i can kindly share my meds to get fucked up together.

>>13533
Whoa, paroxetine is that bad? Guess I made the right choice when I dumped it down the drain…

I'm trying to get some pills that work for me, but right now my doctor keeps giving me anti-depressant ssri's and shit. I wish the fucker would just give me k-pins already because I know they help.

>>13541
i have kpins.. d-do you wanna get high with me ;w;

I've used cannabis for the past two years to deal with manic depression, and it works a whole lot better than the pills I was on in high school, and doesn't make me pass out every time I stand up.

Benzo w/ds can be fatal. They can cause seizures and you CAN die. OP is probably out of w/ds now but if anyone else is in benzo w/ds, its a serious matter, like ER serious depending on the dose. DO NOT take benzo discontinuation lightly. It does feel as bad or worse than heroin w/ds and is actually dangerous.

I just detoxed from 10-30 mg of phenazepam daily for about 90 days. It was serious shit. I'm still on a medical taper thanks to my doc.

Initially i was sent to the er, but they didnt know what phenazepam even was so they didnt believe i was w/d. I got 5 mg valium iv (only equal to .5 mg xanax or clonazepam). Then like 10 hours later 2 mg of ativan sublingually.

I left with a scrip for 20 5 mg valium for a fast taper, thanks to the head psyche doc, who overruled the head toxicologist, thankfully. He also lifted the 5150 that the head toxicologist put me on with in like 2 hours saying it was absurd so i was happy about that.

Now im on a slightly longer taper with kpins, my fave.