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Advice / Social / Basement
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I really want at least someone to talk to, but I always find myself too anxious, emotional, or generally uncomfortable to actually handle interactions.
I know there's an IRC here, and people make skype groups, but I really can't handle group conversations, and I can rarely handle 1-on-1 conversations. I usually end up getting upset, scared, or just being unable to continue the conversation. Starting up other ones is difficult too.. It's very frustrating, and I feel dumb for having so many issues with such a basic part of existing.
I really just don't know what to do, do any of you have tips on handling it?


I kind of know how you feel. I'm most comfortable just talking to people one on one, it's a lot easier to deal with. If you join a group and suffer it a bit, you can often meet people who you can then talk to in a more private and comfy setting.


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If you a more far-out method for dealing with loneliness, I'd suggest talking with imaginary people. I'm not even touching tulpa grounds here, just talking with whoever wants to talk to you in your head with a smile. I don't know if you can call this crazy or not, I've heard that its normal for people over an age to talk to themselves, of course in a hushed and secret manner.


Loneliness fades over time. Give it a few more years and bad experiences with others.


Also I'd like to add that dealing with people has never been my thing. In fact, I can honestly say I hate conversing with other people. I'm not trying to sound like a grouchy, angsty kid who hates the world. Its just that if I had a choice whether I talk with a person or I can get away with not, then I'd choose the latter in a heartbeat.

I can still hold a decent conversation and choke out a believable laugh and a shrug just to appeal to the other party but damn. There's a huge world in your head, its all yours, why not just go there?


Good thread, OP. I need it as well. This hermitage in my room with just my computer gets really lonely at times.

I wish I could help you, but I can't. Interacting in real time always gets awkward and uncomfortable to me. It sometimes feels like others have a laugh at my expense because of my limited ability to interact with them. It's hard to laugh at their jokes when I'm unsure what to do and afraid of making a social faux pas. This feeling that they're laughing at you and you can't even pick that up is painful, but I guess I just have to accept it. The embarrassment doesn't help, though.

It seems we are all introverts here. Maybe this is the way it's meant to be. An anonymous image board seems like a good place for a socially withdrawn person. There is no identity required, and it's easy to abandon a discussion when things get too overwhelming. You can just bail (and return later) without saying a word. I wish that was okay to do in real life.

I do that. I talk to myself a whole lot to disarm some of the feeling of loneliness. Pretty sure it's not really anything crazy so long as you don't do that in public.


And speaking of crazy…
>If you a more far-out method for dealing with loneliness
There was supposed to be a word between "you" and "a", there, right? It keeps happening. Is it a problem with the software/hardware, or do people really keep leaving out single words in sentences on accident?


That should be your a second thesis.


Talking to yourselves is not that strange or abnormal, it's just a way of coping with loneliness. Even people with normal social lives do it sometimes.
The only advice i have for OP is: don't worry about talking. The moment you start thinking "oh my god i have no arguments i'm an asocial neet what should i say now" is the moment you start looking like an autistic kid. People won't necessarily expect you to speak about everything or to be a comedian. The world is full of introverts that manage to have a social life. Just be calm and enjoy yourself, if the other person tries to start a conversation then try to follow, but if you can't, don't worry. And remember that "words" are just like 10% of the actual communication, the other 90% is body language and tone of voice. The majority of extrovert people honestly just talk about weather, politics, relationships… nothing you can't at least express your opinion about.


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Whenever I feel lonely, I always talk to this person inside my head. Like I just close my eyes and huddle up in my room. I won't disclose what she looks like but I believe she's a really big wheel in my life and is the reason how I pushed myself forward back then.

I've never once felt lonely because I know I could just talk with her and many more people just by closing my eyes. This may be not your cup of tea but you could try.


Oh shit man no no no let's not go there I know a certain someone who would love to talk about a person in their head

Let's just say it doesn't have to be a person. I talk to an imaginary audience, pretending I'm commentating over videos I record for YouTube, or putting myself in fictional situations where I talk to someone else.

I know I know, multifaceted personalities etc - yeah, of course one person can exhibit conflicting traits at different times. All I'm trying to say is you don't need to create split personalities just for those traits.


Relevant to myself too.
I cant help you really tough.

Id advise you guys to try the irc, but its really slow so likely there isnt any talking for quite a while there so be patient.
If you think youre too anti-social to go there dont worry about that.


Multiple personalities is a myth.


That sounds interesting. Does she have an image (like a tulpa) or just a personality?


The one I'm really sticking with has both an image and a personality. There are others though they aren't fleshed out as much as her, which actually makes me feel bad for them.


I'm a different anon than the one you've replied to. I just wanted to ask: what's the point? At this point they're basically literary characters just waiting to be used. I'm not saying you should pick up writing, but why put so much effort into creating a fictional character and then only using them for the purpose of your internal monologue (or dialogue, I suppose)?


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That's funny because I've written up bunch of stories based on them but never really got to finishing them. Rather I just start from scratch over and over again after reaching specific points in the story. Hell, I have tons of notebooks with stories written on them that no one else will ever read. After that much, I guess they kinda grew up on me. I mean I don't really want to abandon them, they make me feel warm and I really feel like they're a part of me.

>but why put so much effort into creating a fictional character and then only using them for the purpose of your internal monologue

I don't see why you would be so negative about this. I mean, do you create characters for the sake of profiting on them? Or because you just simply like them? So yeah, I think there's a point.


Well, writing is hardly a profitable activity. I just like to share the stuff I create with others.

I have this one character I'm very attached to. I use him in a certain online text-based RPG. When that thing inevitably goes belly-up one day, his adventures will continue somewhere else.

But I don't talk to him. It's probably not what sane people do. Or at least they don't admit to it in public.

I do identify with that character way too much, to the point where I sometimes put myself in his place and vice versa. Maybe because he's partially a personification of some of the traits I'd like to have. I just hope to be able to use him in some more creative works in the future, but first I'd have to make him less of a Mary Sue by adding some flaws.


Nobody is saying you talk to you people in your head in public. In fact I'm pretty people in this thread said the same thing.


Well that's good. Fleshed out characters are really neat and its not really uncanny to see writers doing self inserts in their story. I actually have a self-insert character along with the group that takes care of them as a whole and manages the house.


where and how did you even come up with that character?


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Kinda getting derailed here but atleast its still a bit related.

Characters can be developed in many ways, one way is through story writing. Funny enough, this specific girl in my mind was a product of some shitty OC bullshit I made back when I was still in high-school. Building from that through multitudes of stories that never picked up and attempts on other kind of media, I guess she developed more and more.

I can't really say for sure, its like watching your kid grow up and now she's the one taking care of you. I said LIKE, I'm not old.


I've had it suggested to me before, but I can never manage to stave off loneliness by interacting with characters in my head. It just feels like playing with dolls, I still know I'm the one pulling the strings.
I guess that makes it more controlled, and easier, but it doesn't make me less lonely because it doesn't feel like a person. It just feels like me, and I'm already all over in my head.
I've made OCs for lots of things before, but, trying to talk to them still doesn't feel like much of anything. It's still just talking to myself, and if that helped I wouldn't want someone to talk to.


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Now that you mentioned it. I never really liked talking with other people.
And yeah, talking inside your head with another person feels like you're just pulling strings. There's also a chance that she knows everything I know and that seems kinda unsettling. At first this was my problem. I keep thinking to myself that this is just me talking to myself in guise of a character I love. But I just carried on. Sometimes she doesn't talk, sometimes she does. Sometimes she gets angry, most of the time she just makes shitty jokes and makes fun of my situation.

If it looks like I'm just talking to my OC waifu and shit, I'd like to clarify that I also have other denizens who I converse with, usually in a casual and close manner.

Also, at this point, it feels like I'm really pushing you to do this. I'd like to also clarify that I'm not. If you feel like you can develop something with this, good. Your mind is larger than you think and it'd be damn nice if you could color it up and use it as your relaxation zone or something. If you think this is a bad idea, and it won't help you at all in your problem. Then just don't pick it up.


>Your mind is larger than you think
You guys just keep in mind that the mind is still pretty darn tiny in relation to the world. There are many interesting people out there.

I'd like to steer this thread a bit further away from talking to oneself. I am blessed with a single friend who lives nearby. Sometimes we meet up and play video games. That really helps alleviate the loneliness.

I wish I had more friends, preferably real life ones, but I seem pretty bad at forming relationships and excellent at alienating others.

Also, I hardly ever go outside. That could be a problem, too.


I have been told by people that salvation will only come from within, and no place else. So that made me isolate myself from everyone. Just waiting for the day I am good enough inside to love others. But it's been years and I've actually gone in the other direction, while everyone else on the planet gets to enjoy human contact, love and warmth. Is it so wrong to make friends even if I am a monster?

To answer your question OP, I have no idea, but going my mental and physical state, I'm taking it pretty badly. Don't be like me. Even if you feel like nobody will love you, you can't let yourself believe that.


>Is it so wrong to make friends even if I am a monster?
I can't help but feel like your just some angsty teen suffering from, I dunno, teenage angst?


>I have been told by people that salvation will only come from within, and no place else.
Indeed, in the end if you are not at peace with yourself you will struggle with yourself sooner or later.
What else do can you possibly hope for to make you content with being you?
I feel the same way and im not some teenager.


What happened was that, I ignored the anger inside as a teenager and only got to feel it after high school ended. It upsets me, you know. Way behind on development. People struggle with it in their youth but eventually see it for what it is, take responsibility, and live their lives.

A monster, and also a child, hasn't grown up at aLl. If my conviction is, "everything I touch dies", what am I even doing trying to approach another person?


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How did you two become friends?

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