/n/ - NEET

What the hell man, I was just watching that.

>Have you ever been backstabbed by a bitch?
>by a bitch?
Well if we're talking about just females, then no. Not even one has deigned to be close enough to me for any possible wrongdoings to constitute real betrayal. "Betrayal" implies they had at least pretended that there was some form of mutual respect between us before they did something morally reprehensible to me. Otherwise, it's just people being dicks, which happens a lot to everyone.

>>11795
the day when gainax trolled chrismas

>>11794 OP
>Stocking
>bitch
nope
and about a question. I don't mind about fake friends and promises. People are like this. I am like this. And bitches too.

>Have you ever been backstabbed by a bitch?
Actually, I've just been had by my entire family.

Did you have fun, big sister? What about you, Mama? Brother? I swore I'd never fall for your act, but you made me. You made me think that you believed me. You never did - you just wanted me to shut up.

>How do you deal with it?
I don't know. I guess you just have to learn from the experience; if you've withdrawn into a personal shell, and you're still being betrayed, that's how you know your shell isn't thick enough. Give people less credit. Be more stingy with your benefit-of-the-doubt.

The issue with the stereotyped (not many friends) NEETdom is that each friendship is given far more significance than in "normal" people. As far as I understand from "normal" people, friendships come and ago and not being that close or not seeing each other often is perfectly fine. In that sense, any "betrayal" isn't so bad and you can vent to your other friends anyways.

(I don't know how betrayal manifests in normal social relationships, I've only ever seen it in movies, in real life they're more like "inconsistent behavior" and "need for approval on multiple parties" and "lack of empathy required to behave in acceptable parameters")

In the brief sense that I have made friends with people who turned out to not be the people I thought they were, this has happened multiple times. In the sense that I have made friends with people who then harmed me, that has happened too.

I guess the way I accept is rather odd. I guess, I just don't really grieve at loss so I don't grieve at the loss that comes with betrayal. Emotions with betrayal are temporary anger, sadness, etc. After it, I no longer think about them and they fade as if they never existed.

>>11806
>The issue with the stereotyped (not many friends) NEETdom is that each friendship is given far more significance than in "normal" people.
Can you really blame them for that? I think it's a good thing to want your friends to be close, especially if you only have one or two of them.
>As far as I understand from "normal" people, friendships come and go
I agree—that's what's considered normal—but it's pretty fucked up, to be honest. I think people should strive for at least a couple relationships that are more meaningful or long-lasting than one you'd find between two of your typical "Facebook friend"-type people. In my opinion, it's a lot better to have one or two very close friends who you know will never screw you over than to have 50+ people who don't really give the slightest shit about you and will probably take advantage of you if given the chance.

>>11802
Same here, most of my family are bitches, stole my money to get drugs for example, and ruined my job for no reason, but, the good thing is that life can be the biggest bitch, and life was my friend last year.

>>11799
Stocking manipulated everyone all the time and brutally murdered her sister

>>11808
>beginning of shitstorm
what is intentional BAD twist

>Stocking is a bitch
>bitch

Oh, the butthurt.

>>11810
She fucking loves tentacles

>>11812
I also fucking love tentacles. Am I a bitch?

>inb4 yes

>>11813
yes

>>11814

We all love tentacles. Your argument is stupid.

>>11815
then you are all bitches

>>11816
>not admitting your love for tentacles

what are you? a normie? lol

>>11817
Yes I'm a normal person, I work, study I have a girlfriend, I'm not virgin and I use facebook

>>11807
>Can you really blame them for that? I think it's a good thing to want your friends to be close, especially if you only have one or two of them.
I'm not blaming anyone. I'm just saying that's what the reality is for the stereotypical NEET that doesn't have many friends or human interaction at all.

>it's a lot better to have one or two very close friends who you know will never screw you over than to have 50+ people who don't really give the slightest shit about you and will probably take advantage of you if given the chance.
I would say it's all in moderation. It's good to have a social circle of moderately good friendships. The high dependence on one or two people would put an unfair amount of pressure onto other people for your social needs and therefore emotional stability. With a moderate group of friends, you can avoid putting unnecessary clinginess to others as well as give yourself cushioning for potential emotional harm.

I would rather have no friends than have so much of my emotional dependency on one or two people. That is putting far too much pressure on them to be better humans than humans are capable of. It's not fair to them, and the moment they are human and let me down as humans will do from time to time, I will be totally crushed and then blame them for some "betrayal".

>>11820
>It's good to have a social circle of moderately good friendships.
You seem to think that "safety from emotional harm" and "closeness of friendships" are qualities at two opposite ends of a sliding spectrum. Why is it that we can't have both at the same time?
>The high dependence on one or two people would put an unfair amount of pressure onto other people for your social needs and therefore emotional stability.
>avoid putting unnecessary clinginess to others
This is very true, but here you're confusing one-sided dependencies with closer friendships. A real, close friendship is not one-sided, and all parties involved have a mutual emotional dependence on each other. Therefore, this "unfair pressure" you speak of, isn't actually unfair (or even unworthy of bearing), because it goes both ways. It's balanced out by the benefit that one person gets from being able to depend on the other.

With a one-sided over-dependency situation (which seems to be where many NEETs often land themselves), the party being over-depended on will probably agree: the pressure being put on them is too much to ask. But when people really give a shit about one another, they're more than willing to handle each other's pressure.

>It's not fair to them, and the moment they are human and let me down as humans will do from time to time, I will be totally crushed and then blame them for some "betrayal".
It is fair to them. If they feel that it's not, they're doing a poor job being your friends or don't really care about you. That being said, you also shouldn't have inhuman expectations of people. I only have one friend, but she's like a sister to me—and I, like a brother to her. Hell, even my family pretty much adopted her. My mom jokes about her being her daughter all the time. Point is, we're close. And do we make normal human mistakes? Yes. Do we get at each other's throats sometimes? Absolutely. Do we hold grudges and call it "betrayal"? No. The right amount of forgiveness is the key here. It's normal to feel bad about some things, but if the manner in which they "let [you] down" can really be considered as reasonable human error as opposed to something more serious, you shouldn't be so quick to blame them.

Anyway, that's just my opinion. I do realize that the amount of friends you want to have and how much distance you want to keep between them and yourself is actually just a personal preference.

>>11823
>You seem to think that "safety from emotional harm" and "closeness of friendships" are qualities at two opposite ends of a sliding spectrum. Why is it that we can't have both at the same time?
Forgive me here, I'm just speaking from experience. I've always associated closeness with danger and I've always been uncomfortable in extremely close relationships like the one you describe. So to me, closeness = danger and therefore distance = safety/comfortable. That's likely just my error in trying to understand this concept of "betrayal".

>This is very true, but here you're confusing one-sided dependencies with closer friendships.
I haven't really seen a very close, long-lasting friendship. The long-lasting friendships I have have a kind of comfortable distance and same goes for the other friendships I've observed. Much closer than that seems to be unhealthy dependency on either party (mutual dependency is all I've seen of "close" relationships, in which both unhealthily obsess over the other…)

This may, again, be my slanted experience with observing relationships up close. I've never seen or experienced the kind of close relationship you express, so it's completely alien to me. I'm sincerely sorry.

I just wanted to talk to my mom about my classes, that's all I wanted to do. But didn't and now 3 years later I've lying about going to college and have been a neet all this time. And she always said that she would do anything to help me after all I did for her, taking care of her after my dad died and we had plenty of money but no all because I got 3 books that cost 500 bucks from the college bookstore she never wanted to talk to me. Even said that she would call the sheriff on me if I kept coming to her door, begging to talk to her.

>>14395
And when I say that they cost 500 bucks, that's what the total was for them all. I needed help that quarter and I just needed her help. I'm smart, I was able to finish HS really easy but needed her cause I live out in the county and she had all the money. So I'm stuck with an insane woman for a mom and no future :/

Backstabbed? Eh.. I felt like I was one time but in reality I was being a whiny bitch
In highschool I really liked this girl and ended up dating her for two years, found out my best friend slept with her right before we started dating so I felt like it was but it wasn't
It's been like 3 years since she left me but I still check her emails because I'm a crazy stalker and she's been talking to this guy who raped my friend and while we were dating she promised she'd never talk to him again because of how upset I was so technically yes but at the same time I'm still being a little bitch

I was backstabbed by a "friend" recently. I loaned him 150 euros two months ago because apparently he was behind on rent and was going to get kicked out. He promised he would pay me back in less than a week. Long story short, he has completely avoided me since and I haven't gotten a cent of the money back.
I try to do a good thing for someone and instead I'm robbed of most of my savings. Maybe being friendless was better.

I liked this thread when it was about tentacles and bitches.

>>14402
At least your effort was for a good cause.

I loaned a large sum of money to a friend's father last year to help him open a business, with an agreement that he'd give me regular payments. Every time he has trouble with the bills he stops taking my calls and I have to track him down in person, and then he gives me a payment along with some excuse and several more months with no payments follow until I do it all over again.

by just about everyone i've interacted with.

I let myself become a human doormat, and let people I thought were my friends use me.

Human nature is selfish, even seemingly selfless actions are motivated to lessen personal pain felt by empathy. Loyalties are only as good as your usefulness.

Everyone I've loved, more or less.
Awhile ago I removed an anon from a fair distance away, fairly qt person who is autistic in just the way they'll ironically collect steam groups filled with degenerates, perverts and autists. The sort of person who on some level wishes they were actually raised by conservative Christians who beat them everyday, because as it is they ended up a stoner on hormones. Who, when they ha a Facebook account, would literally just post shota censored with images from Eva until the account was reported, then do it again. Also the only other person I've known into post-hardcore and unironically likes Steve Albini. A neat person, basically.

I removed them for largely paranoid and stupid reasons, as well as just wanting to move on in life, but I genuinely regret it. Still have their cell number but I'm not sure what I would say; "Yeah sorry for abandoning you with only a bit of explanation but you wanna text?" I would be pissed, personally, probably fuck with them. But of course the longer I do nothing, the more shame I'm going to feel if I actually address it in any way.

I feel like reaching out to people is worth the chance of being betrayed. In the end, it may come as a loss to me, but to have not tried to make the best out of my relationships with people would weigh to heavily on my conscience. In the end I'm still me, the nice guy, and the nice guy gets fucked with a lot, but I've still got my principles.