/n/ - NEET

I did not.

Yep… I was your typical kid. Well, maybe not, but I had humble aspirations.

>>11589
Oh, come on - this is /n/EET; a lot of people were thinking of doing that one.

>>11582
Ah, damn it. I forgot to name the picture "dog-stealing_arsonist.png"

>>11592
Look more closely, they wanted to become a tiny speck when they grew up, or perhaps that supposed to be a fly landed on the mirror.

>>11593
somebody found it. I am proud.

>>11595
You may be a spec Anon but I noticed you!
Will you grant me three wishes now.

A scientist.
I wasn't very original as a small kid, and later on I had no dreams and hopes for the future whatsoever.

>>11596
I will grant them if I can

I always wanted to be an author.

>>11599
What's stopping you now?
Don't tell me you lost your hands.

Archeologist. I can't draw for crap.

>>11600
Motivation… Idk. .
I actually wrote some bits and short stories not long ago. But I fear they are not good enough. Now I hesitate and think I might not be good enough. Writing is not sustainable and just a hobby.
Everyone of my old class mates will soon have their degrees and I am stuck with this thing.

So I decided to go back to university. I'll have to move but am too depressed to even search for a new apartment. Damn… I need to get my life straight. I don't even know if I can handle studying again. It felt right at first but now I think I just wanted to prolong my comfort zone and calm my parents and myself.
It is kinda what I want but I'll have even less time to write then.
I want to write but it is not like you can just make ends meet with a stupid dream stuck in the depths of your head. Atm. writing has to be second priority. It might be the right time when I feel confident enough again.
Or maybe this even is the best time. Kafka was just in this kind of situation when he wrote.

It is weird on the other hand.
The anxiety overshadows everything and cripples me physically but the creative outbursts seem to be stronger because of it. It seems to channel my creativity for ~1-2h a day…
I fear of losing my creativity when I would go to therapy. Thinking back I lost it when I was on AD's.

When I was a kid I knew I was going to be a loser.
Now I am studying to be a scientist, but I'm still a loser.
Did I technically fulfill my wishes?

This question never made sense to me, I just wanted to enjoy life, video games were mostly what I enjoyed so I thought it would always be like this
These days the act of playing games gives me anxiety and it's hard to enjoy them but that idea is still alive, surely one day I'll see a way to like things once more

>>11604
made me think of this

>>11607
aaand I forget the image…

>>11568
Alright, o wretched Mirror of Desires, I suppose I have abandoned SOME of my hopes and dreams after all… briefly.

When I was young, I really had no idea who I wanted to be. I sort of wanted to be everyone. Turns out I was unable to become that, not even with the help of video games, imagination, or drugs. And my brain now dislikes me for what I did to it.

Then I went for pic related. It was a resounding success, but to my surprise, doing nothing was only fun for a first few months, and then I started feeling like killing myself!

Perhaps there still is a way. Maybe I don't NEED to be anything. If I embrace the nothingness, the absurdity and ultimate meaninglessness of existence, I can become a blank slate, like the one Distortion drew in the OP.

An animator. I always wanted to be an animator.

Had to abandon that because of teachers saying you can't do it and why by going 'LOOK AT ALL THESE FUCKING FRAMES PEOPLE USE' *shows image of exaggeration of such*

Hahahaha fuck my school system.

>>11607
>>11608

Close enough. If everything goes as I planned I'll be making satellites or at least working on their system/design. If not, at least I'll have some degree with electronic design and system programming and I will just make crap with arduino like waifu pillows and earn my shekels like that.
Either way, I'm still a fucking loser.

It's difficult to abandon hopes and dreams when you've not had any.

I suppose I'm still heading steadily on my course to be… whatever the hell sort of person or role lies at the end of this path. I'm taller and less stupid than I used to be, so that's some degree of improvement. There's my goal to escape the US as soon as I can reasonably manage, but that doesn't precisely fit into the definition of a dream; similarly, I have my aim to obtain a doctorate, but it's exactly that: An aim, not a hope. I wouldn't be shattered were I not to achieve it.

In the end, the nearest approximation to a hope that I possess is my wish for bountiful nonsexual affection without underlying motives or desires. I haven't abandoned it, but progress on realizing it has been slow for months now. Regarding who I thought I'd be, I honestly never had a clue and didn't allocate much thinking to the subject; I can't say if I'm that person or not because I don't know who that would've been.

Aside from silly dreams I mostly had when I was younger and had a child's enthusiasm for passing fantasies like owning an ice-cream parlor or unrealistic ones I doubt will ever come to fruition like managing to write something extraordinarily memorable and meaningful or being a scientist or such, or ones that have to do mostly with experiencing more, I haven't had too many dreams. I have had a lot of their opposite though. That is to say I've given a lot of thought to particular fears, and spent a lot of time hoping none of them come true: I spent years hoping that I'd not end up being a perpetually ignorant or friendless or ignorant person. By comparison I've hoped for dreams to come true very little.

>>11631
>In the end, the nearest approximation to a hope that I possess is my wish for bountiful nonsexual affection without underlying motives or desires.

That's probably my most significant desire. Sex as well would be good but anyway. Mostly I just want someone I can actually relate to and have some level of trust in though, I can't say I desire love too much just for the sake of it.

When I was very young I wanted to be a super villain. There was one time my sister and her friend were upset with each other and not speaking to each other so I pretended to be on both of their sides so I could get there plot for revenge from both of them and use it against both of them. I even got to do a whole "I only pretended to be on your side so I could get both of your plots for revenge now behold as I use them both against you" speech. Unfortunately neither of them had any plots for revenge until I pushed them into it and by that point they were over it.

As I grew up I found out that such things were completely impractical, my interest went from archaeologists to paleontologist to marine biologist to genetic engineer where it stabilized for many years, but as I found out science involves very little in the way of actually doing things and is mostly just measuring things. Science was too slow, it doesn't get things done in a reasonable amount of time. There is a lab report in a college chemistry class I failed that lists me as reckless because I didn't take the time to count the number of zeros on the end of that measurement. at least I did 100 times more science than everyone else in the class, their experiments just bubble a little and mine produced deadly orange fumes!

Now I serve Dormilia and what I really want to do is become a super villain. I don't care how ridiculous or impractical that is it's what I'm going to try and do as best as I can reasonably manage. I've been thinking about a lot and decided that my favorite type of super villain costume is the cloak/cape with a mask and a hood, like Dr.Doom or Amon or Darth Nihilus. I'm not sure what the mask should be like though, it's very difficult to decide on since I only get to have one facial expression, unless I pull some sort of two-face type of deal which I suppose I could pull off…

>>11732
I believe in you. You will become a super villain!

>>11733
>:3
Thank you!