/n/ - NEET

There is no "simple" way out.
The only way is to confront yourself with your fear.
>I wish my family were farmers, so I didn't have to deal with this shit.
This is hiding from it.

You need a change of scenery.
You don't seem to have moved out when you started collage so you never left your nest. Resulting in you still living in a comfort zone.
I would like to know why you broke up collage.
Was it too hard or not the right subject? Or did you never really thought about it in the first place and just did something to extend your momentary lifestyle?
Where you able to socialize?

Everything is bad right now so you don't have to be afraid about change.
First you need a starting point. Do not set your goals too high just do something.
If you think you are still able to do something about it on your own try a small job. Maybe a night shift job so you can slowly start socializing again. Your psyche is hurt right now and you don't want too fast steps. Every bad feedback is poison for you right now. Worrying about your life & feeling "dishonour" atm. is also bad feedback.

If you think you can't do anything about it on your own I would highly recommend a stationary therapy. There are many facilities you can turn to. If you don't have the energy to do it yourself ask you mother to help you. She'll be happy to help you but you always have to make the first step on your own. Don't think just do it.

Being a steamrolled in your early 20's is not as uncommon as you might think and over the last 20 years the public recognized this. It is actually easier to cure you now then later (30+). Therapists love patients like yourself because they can actually do something about it without putting you on constant medication your whole life.

>How do y'all deal with these sort of doubts and thoughts?

Some take drugs and drink alcohol against the anxiety. I do it from time to time. I won't recommend it because it doesn't solve a thing. But it is a casual thing when I don't feel good.

When I was a around 14-20 I filled my life with MMORPG's and anime.
All where methods to escape reality, to hide because I was weak.

With 20 I started writing about my thoughts and began reading philosophy. Erich Fromm's "Having or being" changed my view of life. Now some years later I'll start studying philosophy so I won't be a NEET anymore after 3 whole years.

I also kept a diary. Paper doesn't blush. It helped me analysing my emotions & behaviour.

I'm just about as miserable in employment as I was when I was NEET personally.

>>11496
I stayed home, because I went to a technical college that was down the road from my house. After the first semester, my mom pulled me out, because I guess I wasn't getting the results she wanted me to get. I liked it, though, and I talked to the people who sat around me or the professors if I didn't like the students. I tend to get along quite well with adults more than folks my own age.

The problem with finding a job, is that not only is it terrifying having to deal with the responsibility, but I also can't drive. I've tried to learn, but it's really difficult for me. I also don't *want* to work (at least not the sort of jobs that are close by, that I could walk to). I want to do something that's fulfilling, like making something that I can hold in my hands and say "I made this; this is what I do". Either that or work in a field that has something to do with history, but you can't get a job as an historian, because there isn't a need for it. I'd also have to go back to school, but we wouldn't be able to afford that.

This is why I wish my family were farmers or bakers or owned a business that has been passed down from generation to generation. I wish I could have been bred for a job that didn't require me really going anywhere or working with people I didn't know and who didn't understand me.

It's almost like my life is a catch 22. I have to do this to do that, but I can't do this unless I've already done that.

I've always wanted to write in a journal, but I can never think of anything to write about. I tend to say some great things when I'm having a conversation, but I never remember what I said. When I actually sit down with a pencil and a journal, I always draw a blank.

I like anime too, and I like to get lost in it like you, but it always makes me depressed, because I realize I'll never have what they have. I'll never have a group of friends that I've known my whole life, I'll never have a few girls who can't get enough of me, I'll never have a mentor, and I'll never be the greatest at an activity. The thing I love most about anime, is the simple life that's portrayed in it. Like Meow's home planet in "Space Dandy" or "Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi". I just want to live a slow and simple life, working in my dad's or uncle's store, and have a childhood sweetheart who I get married to; but my dad and uncle don't own a family run store, I don't have a childhood sweetheart, and I never will. I'll never do any of those things; and I have a terrible feeling of dishonour, because I sit around all day, and mooch off my mom without doing anything in return. Well, I do yard work, but what the heck am I supposed to do when she's gone? That's what gets to me the most, I have no idea how I'm going to escape this. I fear that I'll never get off my feet, and it's all because everything is centred around cars. I'm terrified of machinery, including cars. I mean, I'm so scared of getting hurt by power-tools, I use an axe instead of a chainsaw. How can a guy who's afraid of power-tools get a job in today's world?

>pic related; it's what I want to do with my life

>>11498

Know these feels. When I'm unemployed, I feel like I have some semblance of control and freedom. When I'm employed, I feel like the world has spiraled out of my control. Schedules drive me crazy. But have to work to make ends meet. Even though that's it, that's all it does… makes ends meet. I've yet to see proof of a potential "living" wage.

>>11501
How do you deal with the shame of being unemployed?

Have you ever thought about moving out?
How is your mother able to pull you our of collage? You seem to be stuck in a children role at home. Remember this is your life you are living not your mothers!
It is great that you had a good time at your collage. You where happy back then so follow that feeling.

There are always ways to finance your education.
I am not from the US so I don't know if there is a student loan you can make use of.
How about you search for ways to finance a collage education in the next few days.
Stop thinking about the car for a while. This topic seems to really bother you.

good luck.

>>11504
Where I live, everything is spread out. You can't do anything unless you have a car, and I can't drive. So, my mom basically controls everything I do. She is my transportation, and she is my money supply. Without her, I can't do anything, and I can't do anything without her.

>>11494
>I don't think I'll ever get my license, a job, let alone a wife.
Well that's the future. Why do you obsess about the possibilities of failure in the future?

Why do you even post about it? Do you seek companionship in misery? You already know that posting here cannot help you and in the end you are the only person able to implement the changes needed in your life.

Put your time to good use, friend. Hosting a pity party is not the greatest way to spend an evening I can imagine.

>>11507
I was hoping I'd get advice from folks who are or were in the same position I am in.

I also had troubles learning how to drive, now that I think back :)

But if you know how to ride a bike you'll learn how to drive a car. It is not that different. don't think about every step. Instead try to think of the car as an extension of yourself. You don't think about pedalling while riding a bike why would you think about every little step in a car.
After realizing that I could suddenly drive.

>>11494
I couldn't handle a job. In that sense, I'm actually glad I don't have one. Yes, I still feel dishonorable for being a NEET, but I can barely hold myself together when I don't have responsibilities; how can I expect not to fall apart when I do?

>How do y'all deal with these sort of doubts and thoughts?
I just let them take their course. They can't destroy me because I'm already destroyed. There's no use trying to fight the inevitable. I know I'm not going to survive on my own. I'm barely surviving as it is. I know I won't ever get my license, because I'm not qualified to drive. I know I won't ever find love, because I can't even make a single friend.
>What can I do to get over my unintentional reclusiveness?
Depends how reclusive you are. Some people can beat their fears with brute force alone. Others need help. And the kind of help they need is as unique to that person as their fears.

>>11508
I am in the same position as you. Except I am two years older.

Unless you mean "emotional" position of sorts: being depressed, afraid of failure etc. In which case… I used to be like you. Perhaps everyone goes through this phase. I think it's called maturing.

One thing I can call you from my experience is: posting in depression threads on Wizardchan and Ubuu gave me nothing. I had to leave those places for a long time and face my inner demons alone in order to achieve some form of improvement.

Everything is in your head, OP. That mesmerizing monologue your mind constantly produces - you can turn it off if you focus. All the depressing thoughts, all the thoughts… will go away without any outside help. It's a very old form of meditation that is to this day held in very high esteem, and for good reasons.

You are much stronger than you think.

>>11511
OP here, you and me are a lot alike.

>>11512
Firstly, this is the first time I've posted here. I didn't even know this place existed; I was just looking for a place where I could talk to fellow NEETs, and get advice.

I really appreciate what you've suggested, though. It tells me I can get over this. How exactly do you shut that voice off, though? How do I learn how to do that?

I generally don't get upset over these things. Getting a license, wife, living alone, getting a degree… it's all things somebody else wants. Not you. Or else you would have been there.

What helps me a lot is saying to myself, that, I am who I am, and, that it's all that I have. Because swimming against the current of the one who is truly you, hurts a lot. I know it's difficult to stand alone against norms but I believe in you. And you are never alone, because there are others who understand your pain, like here on /n/.

Let's go to a better place, together.

>>11514
>How exactly do you shut that voice off, though? How do I learn how to do that?
You learn by practising. The basic idea is, you focus on something so hard, all conscious thought briefly ceases - and that's okay, because your subconscious mind always guides you anyway. It's a flow-like state.

You probably don't care about the details. They only serve to make you more confused and reinforce your belief that it is too hard or pointless to try.

You are swimming in an ocean of information. If you really wanted to find out more, you would have already done so.

But somehow your pursuits have led you here. You are a NEET. I am a NEET. You are not alone. Plan your next step carefully.

>I was just looking for a place where I could talk to fellow NEETs, and get advice
You chose poorly. Being a NEET is considered a mark of failure. It is easy not to hold a job, etc., and so /n/ has little advice of substance to offer.

Feel free to commiserate with us. It will not do you any good, though. In the end, we are nothing more than words on the screen to you, offering no real support.

>>11515
Ahhh, true, all true. If you start doing what everyone else wants you to do instead of what YOU want to do then whats the point of living?

We all have to do things we dont to do sometimes but if it starts becoming a lifestyle then thats no good…

Please remember to take care of yourself. Take it easy and drink some water, live life how you want to live it

>How do y'all deal with these sort of doubts and thoughts?
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/04/how-to-squash-negative-thought-patterns/

I used to have a bunch of links and e-books about this stuff but fuck. I'll try to summarize.

You are not your thoughts, you have them.
That probably sounds obvious, but so many people get swept up in their own minds and replay the negativity over and over.

One form of meditation is to basically observe your thoughts, as if you were listening to the radio, or reading a book.

Uboachan, Madotsuki, pigtails, pigs, bacon burgers, food, hunger, instincts, fucking, Gurochan, fucking a corpse, making a corpse burger.
Let them flow, do not judge them.

When you catch yourself thinking something negative, don't feel bad about being in a negative pattern. It is just where you are. Observe this fact, observe your thoughts, and move on. In time they will have no power to stop you, and may even prove helpful, like damage reports on your ego, or a surprise inspection in your thought-factory. Or they'll just fuck off and stop popping up so much.

>>11524
I guess the main reason I want to stop having these negative thoughts about my failure, is because it's causing be to have these spasms and I hit myself and stuff. I even have suicidal thoughts, even though I don't want to kill myself. I would never ever kill myself, but I keep having these images of myself ripping my throat open with a dagger or blowing brains out. I don't try to think of those things, they just pop up in my head.

That's why I *want to do something for a living. Others on here say I don't *want a wife or a job, that that's what others want, but I want these things too. Maybe not a job, I could live without it if I could figure out a way to make money, but I definitely want a wife, a companion to keep me company and give me children. If I can't have children, then my life is pointless.

I reckon that's my main problem; my life is pointless, and I don't feel like there's any reason for me to be here. I'm just taking up space.

I'll try to read that link, because it's what I'm looking for. I need to get these thoughts out of my head. Like, when I watch anime or war documentaries or movies, I forget about everything I'm going through; but then when that's over and I'm just sitting on the couch bored out of my mind, I literally start to go crazy.

>>11530

Ok.
Go to therapy.

>>11530
>I guess the main reason I want to stop having these negative thoughts about my failure, is because it's causing be to have these spasms and I hit myself and stuff.
Look, being happy is beneficial to you. You have no need to explain to us or anyone why you don't want to have recurring negative thoughts.

Here are some musings on the meaning of life, I find them interesting and I thought you might too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzcCWEb-tyk

Seriously though, you can find that stuff yourself if you search for it.

And seek professional mental help.

>>11537
I like that video, thanks.

Gah i know where you at OP.
I dont believe i can be a functioning adult either and capable of gaining or maintaining a relationship.

I cant really help you there, but personally i try to see the bigger picture and think out of the box a bit, sure its hard and not really all that satisfying, but it offers a bit less gloomy perspectives.
Rather than trying to see where i want to be, i try to see where life is going to push me and adjust myself to it and what is likely my purpose in life.
Its probably not very helpful, but then again what is.

Well i can understand what it is you want, but maybe your view of life is too narrow, perhaps you need to find something new to show you that there can be more to life than this.
Like a new lifestyle or hobby, i know it aint easy, but try to think about it a bit.

What i think would really help you is something to do in your life, like a project of some sort.

BTW: welcome to uboachan, have a nice stay.

>>11543
I'm trying to get into cycling. I have this crappy mountain bike right now, chains all rusted and stuff, but I'm fixing to get a road racer. So, that should get my mind off things.

Whenever I ride my bike, I forget about everything I'm going through, and I just focus on the ride. It will be a great way to get some sun, and stay active too.

Thanks for the welcome :)

>>11530
Never have kids.