/n/ - NEET

I have burgers, and probably something deeper broken as well. I experience psychotic episodes sometimes, and have auditory hallucinations. Don't really care to see a doctor, all they want to do is sell drugs.

I don't think I'm any the worse for wear, but it makes it difficult to hold down a job and stuff.

Anxiety, depression and agoraphobia.
In all honesty, I just try to ignore everything all together. I don't have enough willpower to try to get better or seek help or anything at all.

Disclaimer: I've never had any professional psychoanalysis performed on me.

As I said in a couple of threads here a good while ago (http://uboachan.net/n/res/5663.html#5686 and onward; http://uboachan.net/n/res/5457.html#5467), I'm quite confident that I have something similar to Schizoid Personality Disorder. I've also had a persistent mood of melancholy that varies in strength for the past… well, for pretty much my entire life. I suspect I may have some level of anhedonia as well, considering how few things stimulate and engage me – of course, my enjoyment there is muted, too; the nice part about it is having something on which I can focus that challenges my thinking and which doesn't rapidly lose its novelty. Also, I occasionally have flares of anxiety, even for seemingly simple or benign things, but they're infrequent and fairly easy to handle.

Admittedly, I'm not sure how to manage it. I've made it thus far by spending the greater part of my free time alone, working on hobbies and personal interests. The loneliness that you'd expect to haunt me relentlessly has withered over time, such that I can go without any appreciable IRL social interaction for days and possibly weeks at a time. The topic picture is relevant to this post; I've spent enormous amounts of time on my computer, and I enjoy that much more than I do interacting with most other people. I have several close friends, but I can only interact with them for a few days before I grow exhausted and desire to be alone again.

As far as "getting better" or "being healed", I'm unsure if that's an option for me. That is, I don't know if my psychological abnormalities are something that can be treated. Additionally, I don't exactly want to be pumped full of medicines and pills in a psychiatrist's attempt to turn me into some cheery social butterfly. I like who I am and what I am, and I don't want to change that artificially, even if staying with what I have means living a permanently melancholic existence.

I have heavy feelings of anxiety and feelings of worthlessness so I really try to just stay by myself a lot in my room. I'm going to go back to university later this fall so I'm really nervous on how that will turn out for me…I went a few years ago but dropped out because I could never attend class because I just got so wound up in being afraid of everyone that I just stayed in my dorm room for months. Maybe this fall will be different, maybe I can do well in class and make my family proud of me.

The usual problems of people that don't know how to live in our society.

Crippling Anxiety about life in general.I've been diagnosed with depression but never really went to therapy. I drift away a lot lately. I can't concentrate and feel a little stupid. I am pretty sure it's because of the unemployment for such a long period of time. I don't have to use my brain.
I lost my will to live once and I know I am on a straight path to this shit again if I don't do something.
I hate myself.I cut and burned myself to punish me for a while. But I don't do that anymore. It gives relief and I don't really care for the scars but my sister insisted that I would stop.
The fear eats me up and instead of doing something about it I just numb myself.

Before I go to sleep every night I talk to my daki about how much of a loser and a shit I am and ask if I'll ever amount to anything or just continue doing nothing for the rest of my life.

I really just want to die. I'm still trying to make something of myself though.

I have schizotypal personality disorder, commonly perceived as a less extreme schizophrenia. Currently, I can't keep myself in reality much and therefore can't be trusted to have accurate perceptions of myself or others sometimes. So I often rely on others, collecting opinions and then rationally deciding they have no reason to lie to me, then take their entirety and decide reality for myself after. I'm currently working on figuring myself out and trying to maintain a rational self-perception, but that often breaks and frays when I'm under any sort of stress or pressure…

Never went to a shrink, but im fairly certain i have assburgers and all the other comorbid disorders that usually accompany it.
Its not something really special, if you read one aspie story before you pretty much know mine.
My current problem is i feel like im getting dumber and lazier by the day, but i think (or hope) its just due to stress and i just need to relax for a bit.

I get headaches from time to time and other physical weaknesses, be it lack of sleep, oversleep, etc. I believe this is mainly due to my diet, i really should eat better, exercise, but I'm quite apathetic and/or lack the will to do so.

Aside from that, I don't go to shrinks or get diagnosed by doctors for typical mental illnesses that channers are popular for, maybe because I don't believe doing so will have any usefull effect, other than having a label for something. I would never use medication against such illnesses as I don't trust them nor see those who have used them as cured, that or I don't believe they're truly a defect and form part of our character/being.

A psychologist diagnosed me and said she suspected I might have Asperger's syndrome and/or schizotypal personality disorder. I have some problems with emotions and addictions, but otherwise I think I'm pretty normal.

>>11303
>Don't really care to see a doctor, all they want to do is sell drugs.
Some of them are shit like that, but you shouldn't give up looking for help just because you've only met poor ones who just prescribe you antypsychotics and stuff without caring about your individual situation.

>>11311
>I hate myself.I cut and burned myself to punish me for a while.
That's pretty messed up, dude.

ADHD, autism, something called Psychotic disorder, and aspergers. (Not sure if three of the terms i listed are the same or not)
I normally go through hyper moments, the feeling that i'm getting dumber but i think that might just be in my head, broke a stuttering habit i had a year ago. I seem to be somewhat okay

I feel as if I have many mental illnesses but the problems are so numerous that my head starts spinning when I think about them.

The only thing I can say is that it helps to be honest and let things out. Like when I'm lying down in bed sometimes I close my eyes and quietly express my emotions, like talking to someone I fully trust. A friend I can tell even more to than to myself. It helps me relax about things. So, just try it, the next time you feel like there's nowhere to run to. It might help ease the pain.

I hope you aren't hard on yourselves for being the way you are. Because that's you, this is your unique expression, what you have been given. You can't possibly lose knowing that you are enough.

Is wanting to cut off your own penis a disease?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with me, yet i do hang around people who do have something wrong with them because i relate to them somehow

>>11321
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_identity_disorder

Answer: perhaps.

>>11319
>The only thing I can say is that it helps to be honest and let things out. Like when I'm lying down in bed sometimes I close my eyes and quietly express my emotions, like talking to someone I fully trust. A friend I can tell even more to than to myself. It helps me relax about things. So, just try it, the next time you feel like there's nowhere to run to. It might help ease the pain.

…What happens if they talk back to you, develop their own personalities? Does this advice work for those who are a touch psychotic?

>>11324

Sounds even better tbh. At least you have someone in your head to talk to you unless the voice is a douche.

Schizoaffective personality disorder, one of the more nebulous disorders in the psychotic family picture. No one can really nail down the exact diagnosis since my depression and psychosis tend to fluctuate, but at the very least the treatment seems to be working.
…Kind of, anyways. I still forget to eat and sleep often enough that I nearly had to be hospitalized. But the voices have stopped most of the time at least.

I've also got PTSD and agoraphobia, apparently.

>>11325
Would you really like to make that a reality?

>>11325
It's not merely having a companion. When you feed a dependency, it will grow. When it comes to positive schizophrenic symptoms, they will coat everything with their own colors, until not even reality can wake you from your nightmares.

One can't have comforting delusions without the frightening ones, in my experience. Like everything else in life.

I have schizotypal personality disorder and bipolar disorder. Thanks to a combination of medication and limiting my exposure to upsetting stimuli both are sort of under control, but I'm worried that the delusions and severe mood swings will come back if I stop being a NEET. I really want to try school again, but I'm terrified of going outside alone. I don't know if I can handle the stress.

One of the best methods to fight severe depression is to overcome your fear and to admit you are "sick". You are a NEET so you should be in the pleasant situation to have spare time.
Go to therapy. Not ambulant but treated as an inpatient.I know a lot of people that did it and are now much better. At first supported by SSRI's. You might have to wait quite a long time to finally be able to start the therapy though. Depression & social anxiety are one of the best treatable mental conditions out there.

As I said before I never went to therapy myself but just took SSRI's for half a year or so. Then I felt confident enough to gradually taper until I wouldn't need them anymore. I was in a good situation with life in general for a month and thought everything would get better and I wouldn't even need therapy; awesome! But my problems aren't solved and there is enough stuff that really needs me being treated as an inpatient. The therapist who I got the meds from didn't help me and I never really connected to him. I realized that if I really want to be treated intensive enough and fast I need to live in the clinic. I waited 4 months to get a place on a treatment program before I just couldn't endure the wait anymore and convinced my psychiatrist I was okay again. Now I stand at the beginning and won't go to therapy after all. It's idiotic and it won't end good. I know it. It didn't end well a year ago…
I'll move soon and be a student again just to extend the support of my parents. Far away so they won't be able to control me.

Schizophrenia is a very difficult topic but we are mostly pretty young (<25). In this age it is still treatable. 1/3 of the patients fully recover. I've got a drug induced psychosis for some months and understand how it feels not being able to function because you can't realize reality. I had to completely pause my life for a month to slowly integrate some experiences. Still I can't completely speak for the schizophrenic that would be overbearing.

The thing that will help a NEET the most is getting a job or education he/she feels vindicated by.

I feel like an arrogant twat for this post. I can't do this stuff myself but still act like a Know-it-all . Someone that forces yourself to this stuff. That would be great.

>>11330
I know exactly how that feels, namely because that's exactly what happened to me when I tried to go back to work. It felt as though I'd taken a step forward then skidded two steps back and fell on my face.

>>11331
To me you don't sound very arrogant. Giving advice on a chan where most of us seem too broken to offer it is a welcome sight, so thank you.
Moving on to the actual content, I've actually very much considered inpatient care, especially during times of suicidal thoughts. At least now I've been able to distinguish the fact that I want to be able to focus solely on my mental health and take a break from reality from an actual death wish. I want to be able to pause my life, not stop it. The only problem is the shock and horror it causes among my immediate family and friends, as well as the stigma that typically comes with willingly accepting inpatient treatment. I will never understand how people can separate hospitalization for the body and hospitalization for the mind like that, but I suspect it comes from the same root belief that we're not perfect galatical sparkleforce beings stuck in useless imperfect meatbags and that the body and soul are separate. The mind is born from an organ, one where chemicals can become imbalanced and things can go wrong. People should be allowed to treat it in much the same way as they would, say, a broken bone or a cold, but I digress.
>The thing that will help a NEET the most is getting a job or education he/she feels vindicated by.
This is partially why I wanted to throw myself into my writing instead, perhaps by taking a few classes and such. Writing is definitely something that I feel vindicated by.

>>11335
>we're not perfect galatical sparkleforce beings stuck in useless imperfect meatbags
Should have taken out the not, whoops. I should have another cup of coffee.

Might be a bit schizoid or borderline. Nothing confirmed. A few years ago I was accused of having the 'sperg a few times, but that was mostly because I'd grown up mostly as a shutin and wasn't too used to dealing with people yet.

>I will never understand how people can separate hospitalization for the body and hospitalization for the mind like that, but I suspect it comes from the same root belief that we're not perfect galatical sparkleforce beings stuck in useless imperfect meatbags and that the body and soul are separate. The mind is born from an organ, one where chemicals can become imbalanced and things can go wrong. People should be allowed to treat it in much the same way as they would, say, a broken bone or a cold, but I digress.

I agree. Also while I doubt you'd care much for the attention I for one would be up for reading some of your writing if you're willing to share it.

I've never been diagnosed but I know that I suffer from some sort of severe anxiety problem. Everyday I worry about something, anything, no matter how irrational it is and it's just unbearable.

I also suspect I might have ADHD but again, without a diagnosis I can't say be certain.

I wish I knew what was wrong with me.

>>11340

Then go see a doctor.

If you don't feel confident enough to do it yourself maybe there is someone in your family or a friend you could talk to.
Ask that person to go with you to a professional together. It's not a weakness. No one would blame you if they care about you.

I've recently been in a mental hospital. Their diagnosis: depression, anxiety, suicidal. They didn't bother to list personality disorders, but accodring to my therapist I'm extremely avoidant, which I can't really argue.

I feel like I'm stuck and I can't really see myself getting out of this state soon. I can't do what I want, and I want very few things. I have no idea what I would study or where I would work if I were to do it in the future.

>>11344
Which shitty state are you in? I'd love to move to Colorado someday, their government isn't as criminally insane as California's. (Or if I had the money, I'd rather move to the Nordic countries, such as Denmark, Sweden, Finland, or Norway).

I was diagnosed with Asperger's, ADHD, Depression, Tourette's Syndrome, and OCD. I don't really see these as diseases, or even real problems. They make it harder for me to do some things other people can, but they also make it easier to do some things other people can't. It's a tradeoff that gives me a unique place in the world.

>>11346
>sei forgets I am yuropoor

I'm from Lithuania. Northern Europe, highest suicide rates in the world, shitty mental health care.

I exhibit nearly all symptoms of Inattentive type ADHD and/or Sluggish Cognitive Tempo. People always complain about how slow I am.

I am hypersensitive to things, particularly noises, smells and human touch (the latter being more of a psychological issue). This generally worsens when I'm stressed or depressed and was very prominent this year. The sounds just pile up and people's voices amplify one another. I'd barely stop myself from falling to my knees and banging my head against the stairs to make the it all go away. I need to wear headphones in public places and at school (where most of the teachers don't let me).

Then there's social anxiety, some obsessive/dependent tendencies, passing paranoid thoughts and other things that led me to suspect I might have STPD.

Melancholic mood seems to be my fate. I'm so used to it I gave up on being "positive" and decided to just cope somehow. It's not that bad. In fact, it's damn great after a major depressive episode that had lasted for 5-ish months.

By contrast, I'm feeling more or less okay right now. But I'm puzzled about the future. I'm still young and already kind of messed up - so what's next?
I have one year of school left. Feeling slightly choked by anxiety as I think about going back there. And then exams. Applying to university. Moving away somewhere. Damn. I can't even make an appointment by phone without panicking and rehearsing it for an hour.

^My mum probably has BPD and after reading a book on the subject I realised that I might just be pre-borderline. What else, brain?

(Note that I wasn't officially diagnosed with either of the conditions mentioned. It's not easy where I live, and I didn't really aim for that anyway.)

There's a lot more I could write, but I guess I'll stop for now.

>>11346
I feel the same way about my label as having aspergers. Its really more like just a set of personality traits with a slight neurological component that to me doesn't mean anything. I mean, I feel normal.

>>11346
>>11461
THIS is how I feel too. I have Aspergers, I am SURE I have Anxiety, and possibly some mild form of bipolar disorder. The Aspergers though is definitely a defining 'trait'.

Alot of people don't know I have it, cuz I act like any other normal person at first glance. When I say I have it, I can't help but feel I'm suddenly being silently judged. I think it's due to the fact that there been some people out there with Autism/Aspergers that has gone and given it a bad name and a bad image.

I… dont know. I know something is wrong because I feel very afraid all of the time. Im paranoid as well, always thinking the smallest things will lead to my death and I cant speak to people because I stutter terribly and feel faint whenever I do.

Im too afraid to see anyone to get an official diagnosis but at the same time not knowing why this is happening to me is killing me from the inside out

Im probably being very silly about this but Im just… afraid I guess

My head stings when I breathe sometimes too. Its scary.

>>11478
Don't worry about it. A paradigm shift always happens. At some point you'll be forced to deal with your problems and you'll be surprised how much energy and endurance you'll have.
It might be a very shocking experience that's going to confront you with reality.

I just have the regular ole Aspergers, though it's not bad in a social setting, it's terrible for me to learn how to drive or get a job.