No.11152
Ah, I was wondering about this when I saw that one job/education thread with that Eurochewky fellow in it. Just how many trans NEETS do we have here?
As far as myself, it's not going well. I'm still despised by everyone I know, still hate myself more than they ever could, and still have no friends. I never advertised or acted snooty like SJWs do (in fact, I tried to hide it) so nobody knew I was trans until very recently. I still kind of deny it to myself sometimes. I try to convince myself that what I feel is something slightly different, somehow more justified or less extensive than being "trans," but in the end I know, regardless of what I want to call it, it's the same thing.
It also doesn't help that I live in the Southern U.S. (also known as 'Murrica) so if anyone else apart from my already-disapproving family finds out, I'm dead meat. Around here, I'm a "godless fag" to most people, and no one cares what happens to someone like that in a place like this. In a way, I guess that means my family now has some serious blackmail against me. And considering how they feel about me, I'm certain they'll have no reservations using it.
No.11155
>>11152I feel like the majority of your problems are stemming from your environment and while Ive never lived in 'murrika, I feel like that level of hate isn't as prevalent in other places. Its not terrible where i live (albeit there is a little prejudice).
No.11160
>>11158I'm really sorry. Do you want to share? I will listen to every word.
No.11163
>>11158Thats just terrible, il hope you will find the strength to let go and find new value in life.
No.11168
>>11155I agree, but as a NEET, moving isn't an option at this point. And if I did move, would I really be that much happier? I'm sure I'd be less of an exile if I went someplace else, but is it really realistic to think anyone would ever go near a tranny?
It wasn't something I'd really considered until recently, because I've never been in love, or even had a crush. The idea of sexual contact with anyone is appalling, confusing — and, if I'm honest — kind of terrifying to me. But my family has just about disowned me, and I feel that I really need
some kind of emotional connection to
somebody, if not just a friend. Even if I could go anywhere in the world, I still don't know if I'd find someone.
>>11158Please hang in there. I really hope things get better for you soon. I wish there was something I could do to help.
No.11178
>>11160I was in a point in life where I was actually starting to have some real friends, people to do things with, and people who accepted me. I even started dating someone.
Then I had a mental breakdown because of my job and because I hate my body. So my partner left me and all of my "friends" stopped talking to me and dropped me from the group. Nobody tried to resolve things or talk to me about it. Now I have to watch them have fun without me for the rest of my life. Nobody cared and they just threw me away like a piece of fucking garbage.
I'll never trust another fucking person again. People are universally evil, shallow, and apathetic. I hate society so much.
No.11179
>>11178>People are universally evil, shallow, and apathetic.Not everyone is, I know two people who aren't. If people can be excessively evil without rime or reason then why can't the opposite be true. And what about you? Are you evil, shallow, and apathetic? Would you help someone in your situation?
No.11180
>>11179"Not everyone is"
Heres a bowl of candy. Ive poisoned 20% of them. Go ahead and take one. Not all of them are poison.
No.11192
>>11178people are all really good. they only mean the best things. but our world is really strange and bad things happened over time and caused many to be consumed by darkness. if you lose your trust in yourself and in others, you are also submitting to it. please trust that other people are good, no matter what. please remember.
even if all of us have something inside that makes us feel from time to time like we are monsters who deserve to be left to die, we don't have to believe that. there are dark energies that pain us so, but they are not where our hearts are.
those people that you treasured so much that turned away from you, they are in pain too. i'm sorry for what happened. it must be really hard to handle this. but, you should know always that you are loved. you will find people that will appreciate you. but please, don't close yourself off after what happened. i understand that you really want to resign forever but, you can't. you can't because it will hurt you so much. there are people waiting for you and they want to feel your presence, warmth, just as you want to feel theirs. so together, holding hands, we'll go.
No.11193
>>11192Fuck off with your sympathizer bullshit. There are objectively shitty gross people out there. Your tedious "everyone is suffering like you" mindset is p. much fucking garbage tbqh.
No.11194
>>11193i just feel like, you are hurting yourself a lot, by ignoring your heart. i'm worried for you and i want good things for you.
No.11195
>>11194lmfao u are so condescending, yr so full of shit you Trash Human
No.11197
>>11192>>11193>>11194>>11195I feel the storm brewing, and it quite amuses me to see two extremes in terms of faith in humanity turned against each other. But I still stand by my earlier statement just as there are people who are absolutely awful there are people who are absolutely good, or perhaps absolute is too strong of a word in this case.
No.11200
>>11197That's basically correct. I think with the exception of people who don't really count as people imo (the mentally deranged, those too emotionally fucked up to count as normal human beings) most people are basically decent, or at least capable of a fair degree of empathy. It's amazing how little differences remove that ability, but I think that there are plenty of people with the patience and sympathy necessary to try and understand other people even if they aren't able to at first, and even though a lot of people are shitty I would see myself as simply being weak if I were to totally withdraw myself from all opportunities to try and meet decent people.
>>11195>Trash HumanOkay, I really don't think what that anon is saying is true of all people and I'm sorry shit's gone so terribly for you but you're making it difficult for me to take you seriously or care.
No.11203
New thread to prevent further derailment
>>11198 No.11204
>>11180For someone who has truly tasted the succinct sweetness of love, poison is a worthy risk. Besides, you can be cured of poisons, and even build up a tolerance to them. Furthermore, a person cannot function completely alone, everyone must operate on some level of thin trust. I very much dislike this analogy.
No.11274
Bumping because I was curious about something. I'd also hate for an otherwise decent thread to be ruined by tumblr bullshit buzzwords and left to fall off the board.
Fellow tranneets, what do you guys do for passing the few times you leave the house? Does passing matter to you in the long run if you're full hikki and/or don't plan on coming out of your NEETitude any time soon? Personally, I'd like to be able to be in the body that matches up with my gender no matter what, but one can't be picky when they barely leave the house as it is. When I do venture out (usually to get some groceries or some other mundane task, perhaps go for a walk in the park), I have a makeshift binder made out of a pair of different bras that works pretty well, so long as my shirt isn't too terribly tight. Baggy sweaters are helpful too, as well as comfortable.
What about HRT as well? I would like to acquire testosterone, but I think my therapist wants me to come out to my parents first. It sounded a little Draconian at first until I remembered that T is taken via injection, and…well…it wouldn't be a good idea to be randomly stabbing myself in front of them, especially with my fear of needles. Christ, this is gonna be a tedious journey.
No.11279
>>11274>what do you guys do for passing the few times you leave the house?I don't. (Try to pass, that is. I do leave the house, but only on
very rare occasions.) My facial structure is exceedingly masculine, to the point where my appearance is just abjectly beyond my ability to control, at least with any reasonable augmentations. So if I actually did try, I'd just end up looking worse. It attracts far less attention to simply go outside as I am and take care of whatever it is I left the house for (I never leave without a damn good reason) as quickly as possible.
>Does passing matter to you in the long run if you're full hikki and/or don't plan on coming out of your NEETitude any time soon?Passing means
a lot to me, whether I remain hiki or not. But either way, I'm convinced it won't ever happen.
>What about HRT as well?I don't even know how to get HRT, and I'm not sure I really want it either. As I said, my face and musculature are far too masculine for that sort of thing to work as intended. I'm afraid if I tried it, I'd end up a monster, somewhere halfway between passable and not. And that's even worse than being the way I am now.
If you can get them, though, I'd say go for it, even if you do have to come out to your parents first. I don't mean to make assumptions, but you were planning on doing that eventually anyway, weren't you?
No.11285
i remember when i was an mtf and passing mattered. by this point i'm basically an mtftn (nuetral). fml right? passing got more and more stressful the more i aged, the times i couldnt afford hormones not helping. i have my feminine moments and my masculine moments these days and i feel like this point they have all become a part of me. who cares anyways? would i like to be cute? yea. do i feel dysphoria? definitely. but i found i dont really need to assign gender to my actions, and that i dont need to put on a show for people i dont want to see in the first place. i have been on hormones (with some breaks due to my irresponsibility) for two years now. i'm somewhat afraid my feelings might change as i feminize more. it is all very confusing.
>>11279>I don't even know how to get HRTso many trans people who dont know how to google. i'll help you out with something i learned a long time ago. a doctor or often even a planned parenthood clinic can prescribe you t-blockers and estrogen. if that isn't possible in your current situation than try alldaychemist.com, it takes forever to ship but if you save up some money you can buy in bulk.
> my face and musculature are far too masculine for that sort of thing to work as intended.you ever seen progress pictures? go to some tranny threads on other imageboards you'll see examples. there might even be a bunch of examples from the hags at 420chans /cd/.
> No.11298
>>11285>a doctor or often even a planned parenthood clinic can prescribe you t-blockers and estrogenThat's not really what I meant. I meant I'm not sure how to actually get them to give the necessary approval to prescribe stuff. I don't imagine they just hand these medications out like candy, or upon request. They have to actually be convinced you're willing to undertake a transition, don't they?
>alldaychemist.com>self-medicatingI'm not trained in any sort of medical science. I wouldn't know how to plan my own treatment safely (e.g. how much to take, how often, etc.) so I'm really afraid I'd just screw something up. Even though you can look up that kind of information on the internet, it just seems like a bad idea to do it without any professional advice.
No.11308
>>11298>I meant I'm not sure how to actually get them to give the necessary approval to prescribe stuff.ask, i went to my clinic and i asked.
>self-medicatingjust look at what other successful self medicaters have done, start with one very small doses of spiro and estrogen (depending on your preferred brand, likely 100mg and 1 mg respectively) and bump up after a year or two to double both of those. thats what a doctor would have you do anyways in my experience with me and people i know and have helped get there prescriptions. always turns out the same.
No.11345
Pretty horribly awful. I do keep trying, one day at a time, but I'll probably kill myself before I turn thirty. The dysphoria and trauma are just too much.
No.11352
>>11345I don't blame you for feeling that way; it's really hard to be what you guys are. But you shouldn't give up. I'm not trans myself, but I admire the courage of your kind. I think it's really brave to pursue your feelings and identity in the way you do. It's a quality I wish I had myself.
No.11368
>>11168i can relate to what you said about wanting some kind of emotional (say, romantic) connection but, uhm, fearing it at the same time, i think. i've been pondering whether it might be what i'm missing in life right now.
never been in a relationship, but had an incredibly painful infatuation that only ended recently. that person left me for good. i don't know why i'm thinking about such things. being in love was terrible and made me feel like trash (still does), so why?
i kinda wonder what it's like when it's mutual.
anyway, what i wanted to say. i'm sure there are people who will accept a trans(*) partner. sex is not a requirement for everybody, either.
whether we, personally, really need or will be able to find/form/maintain such a relationship is a different matter.
i'm agender and the envinronment i live in is more indifferent than hostile, so my position might be somewhat better… i feel bad for what you have to experience where you live. perhaps you should consider getting out of there.
No.11372
Trauma is a good way of saying it.
I think we're all very strong because of how much we endure everyday.. though it's not healthy for your brain.
Regardless, there's a happy end to all this, where you can forget and move on, or at least be proud of yourself because you tried.
Don't give up just yet, HRT takes a while but it really helps physically. After that.. however it goes, it'll be nice knowing that you can finally let go.
I used to think that if you were determined to try, you'd apply even for the shittiest job to get your pills, and photoshop the shit out of prescriptions because self-medding's way better. That's how I did it. Cried everyday on my way to work, on my breaks, on my way home, before sleeping. I still do, everyday.
But I know it's a lot more complicated for some of you. Going outside never becomes less scary. I'm sorry if you can't find the strength to do it. I really hope you do one day.
Don't forget to eat a lot. Hormones work better that way. Just a silly reminder.
Hugs.
No.11395
>>11392I approve of this statement; after all, soy is an excellent source of phytoestrogen. But, from what I've read, it's debatable whether you could feasibly consume enough to have any significant effect on your body (at least if you're a male).
Even so, I've been making a point to eat and drink more soy stuff for the last couple of years. I can't tell if it's actually been doing anything, but it's not like soy is gross, so it can't hurt to keep trying.
No.11398
I just wanna go out of my way to say getting hormones prescribed is extremely easy and if you take your hormones by the book nothing typically goes wrong. determining if your trans is as simple for them as filling out a questionnaire.
>>11392eating soy helps your transition if you are already on HRT, and I have one friend who drinks soy sauce, like a fuckton of soy sauce, when she is out of hormones.
No.11402
>>11398Isn't drinking soy sauce really dangerous? I think I've heard it can even cause death if you're not careful, but that could be bullshit for all I know.
No.11403
>>11402The LD50 for sodium chloride for adult humans is about 1g/kg. The off-brand bottle in my refrigerator has about 570mg sodium per serving, and 30 servings in total. So the entire bottle provides 17.1g of sodium. Assuming she weighs in at 50kg and is drinking the low sodium stuff comparable to what I have, she'd have to drink over 2.9
entire bottles in a relatively short period of time in order to have consumed a potentially lethal amount. And that's without throwing up (which I'm sure would be very difficult to do if you're trying to drink nearly 3 bottles of the stuff in one sitting.)
Drinking soy sauce is
very unlikely to kill you. It's just really unhealthy. It can seriously offset your electrolyte levels, upset your stomach, and even raise your blood pressure (which may be dangerous if you have heart problems or are already hypertensive).
No.11684
>>11398finding a doctor willing to prescribe is the tricky part. plus paying for that shit
No.11686
>>11398No wonder vegetarians are all messed!
All they eat is soy!
No.11691
>>11690I'm pretty content at the moment.
No.11692
Does Genderqueer count as Trans? Cus I know there's different definitions of it [like gender neutral, genderfluid, bigender, etc].
Still, thought I would share some light on myself and a friend of mine.
I came out to my family as Genderqueer about a year ago or so, they were pretty cool with it, seeing that I pretty much was to begin with [my dad especially, he figured I was gender neutral/genderfluid to begin with], but with the public I keep it to myself cus I know there are people out there that wanna discriminate against you and all.
So, cautious, but I'm fine.
As for my friend, she's a MtF trans living in Wenatchee, miles away from where I live [I live in Olympia], and her family, well, all I can say is, are absolute cistrash [no offense to any cis people out there on Uboachan, just to her family]. She plans on moving here someday to get away from them, but for now she's stuck with them, hiding her secret from them and all. I do my best to support her and whatnot, and hope to meet here the day she moves.
I'm just afraid that if they somehow find out her secret, she'll get kicked out onto the streets or something, and me being miles away and unable to do anything to help her, well, we all know that feeling, bruh.
No.11700
>>11692there's a good number of genderqueer and trans people in Thurston county. there are support/community groups and shit in Olympia which I consistently fail to attend
Olympia is a pretty nice place in general, as well
No.11701
>>11700I live in Seattle and it's kinda lonely. How is Olympia in comparison?
No.11704
>>11700>>11701Not trans but what the other anon said is correct, it's pretty nice. There are still lots of self-absorbed people but way less than in Seattle it seems like and in general it has a nicer atmosphere than most places, there are cool places to wander around and there's some good food and stores and sights. I go there during the weekends to get away from my whitetrash hometown.
I doubt people would mind transgendered people much, the people there tend to be uber-tolerant of differences, to the point that walking around during the evening you see some strange and amusing shit.
No.11706
>>11700>>11701>>11704Olympia in general has the most open-minded community then where I have seen in terms of other places in Washington State. Sure you get that one iffy/angry close-minded person but I just see them as angry tourists, imo.
That is if they don't live there, if they do I feel sorry for the neighbours that gotta tolerate them.
And not just Olympia, too. Parts of Lacey and Tumwater have the same vibe as well, it's just more noticeable in the centre of the heart of it all [Downtown Olympia].
Also in terms of cafes I suggest going to a place called Cafe Love. It's a nice little place if ya just want a moment of peace.Me keeping to myself is mostly from years of anxiety and stress building up, and scaring myself silly over silly things, though my concern for my friend is genuine.
No.11718
>>11706Don't go to cafes much. I used to hang around Last Word Books a lot before they moved. All the people who worked there I either loved or hated, mostly loved, though most of the other people who just went there were unapproachable hipsters. They had and probably still have really nice stuff, in any event. It's there that I've gotten all the Philip K Dick books I've managed to get, along with a lot of other stuff.
Sorry for going off-topic, not often I see other people from around here on sites I enjoy. No.11724
>>11701Seattle is more diverse and there's more to do and see… I've spent time there but never lived in King county. Olympia is community-driven but people let each other alone for the most part. when strangers engage me in public, they are pretty chill. Oly is a good spot in the state, you can reach the sea, the city, the airport, the symphony, museums, mountains, woods, Oregon, and a shit load of lakes with a drive of <2 hours. for bedroom communities the rents are high imo. Olympia is good for walking and biking and the bus system is bretty gud. downtown is lots of fun. two good comics shops in the area. kind of an arty town. it has a calm, somewhat confused vibe. so moe
everything but bars closes early in Thurston county though. I usually want some coffee between 11PM-2AM and there aren't a lot of 24 hour places
lots of homeless people in all three towns, and military dicks from the base
>>11706
>Laceyabsolutely_disgusting.bat
No.11749
>>11701Hey I live in Seattle! (for the next 12 hours…)
>>11690Things have been improving since I started hormones and anti-depressants. Before I was drowning in anxiety, barely talked to anyone each day, and was basically a megadepressed hikki. Since then though I moved to the west coast and started becoming more… emotional? and less afraid of doing stuff with folks, I've been doing a lot of social stuff on weekends. I feel like some of my old interests are coming back, though actually staying focused enough on them to improve is something I need to work on.
Oh yeah I don't want to die every time I look in the mirror! I'm not sure what changed but I'm okay with it I guess. Still not presenting as female yet but enough people have thought I was a girl despite that that I'm feeling hopeful.
So, um, basically…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxGRhd_iWuE . It is really tough but please hang in there!
No.11753
>>11749>Still not presenting as female yet but enough people have thought I was a girl despite thatThat's really impressive. I don't know anyone else that can say that's ever really happened to them. I got it a lot when I was little because I kept my hair long, but ironically, at that age, being called "miss" or "young lady" would've actually made me feel indignant, as opposed to flattered.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxGRhd_iWuEI wonder how many times I'll need to see this before I can manage not to almost cry watching it.
No.12604
>>11152I live in Alabama as a transitioning MtF and I understand how you feel. I was recently kicked out of my parents' house for the second time and forced to live with my emotionally abusive boyfriend. I haven't left the house in a month. I'm running out of money very quickly and I think I am going to graduate NEETdom soon when/if I move out.
Being trans here is very hard but with a decent income you can begin transitioning and being young helps a lot too. Most everyone thinks I'm cis and I like to keep it that way.
No.12605
>>12604That's pretty bad, sorry to hear. Emotionally abusive how? Do you only stay with him because it's a way to support yourself without ending up on the street or having to work a job that forces you to deal with people all day?
