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/lit/ - Literature / Fanfic / Poetry

M-my hands are w-writing on their own~!
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File: 1383881990021.jpg (58.68 KB, 302x326, e4.jpg)

 No.410

Okay, I write pretty regularly. Lately, though, I've been experimenting with more stuff that evokes a little bit of eroticism in depictions of youth, preteens. I think I'm seeing how far I can go in order to prepare for a story I'm planning about a hikikomori girl, without making it come off as pervy (there will be situations where she's judging her body in a mirror).

But these stories probably *do* come off pervy. Uboachan should eat them up! So, enjoy.

Tell me if you think they're obvious pedo-glorification, or if they come off as sappy or clunky, or if you honestly enjoy it. I'm not planning on doing anything with these stories, just doing some writing exercise.

This one's rather long, 4,000 words, and is kinda sappy, but tell me what you think:

http://pastebin.com/e76ASL3p

 No.411

File: 1383882086925.jpg (49.95 KB, 456x176, e2.jpg)

>>410
And here's a second one, much shorter, and a little darker.

http://pastebin.com/0Ak3TVK5

If this topic is too borderline, feel free to delete it. Just putting my stuff out there in an arena I feel comfortable with.

 No.429

File: 1385877593251.jpg (31.8 KB, 720x480, flcl_mamimi0015.jpg)

I'm not a writer so I can't give any crit, only praise.

I love your stories. I don't see anything pervy in them. The ending to the first was a little cliche, but not terribly.
I can't say I was too excited for yet more media about men and young (semi-)naked magical/mystical not-men at first, but I enjoyed reading them a lot, especially Channeling Dolores.

 No.434

>>429
Why thank you! I just happened to check back on this thread and saw your comment.

Glad you liked it! I just re-read Channeling Dolores again, and yeah, the ending does come off as kinda sappy, but not nearly as bad as I initially feared.

Thank God it doesn't come off as pervy (whew!)

 No.438

File: 1390535189218.jpg (27.22 KB, 270x178, e3.jpg)

Slow board, eh? Anywho, I'm back. Here's another piece I wrote (not recently; rather around the same time I wrote the other two). It's super short, meandering, and is sort of an attempt to encourage debate.
http://pastebin.com/BtaiaFpf

I've also re-uploaded the other two, since they've since expired:
http://pastebin.com/Pj76pHn1
http://pastebin.com/WyCbKYDt



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