-Time Traveller YN/FG-http://www.mediafire.com/?te4rjmo19p3nuv7
(The game was made it with RPG Maker 2003)
Ok , so I wanna introduce my fg
"Time Traveller" (T+T to abbreviate)
So you play as a teenage girl named Mai.
For some reason she lost a very important memory
And you, first, dream about the things about her daily life
And as long as you play you start to find things that make a incredible impression to her (characters/ effects/ and whatever you find.)
So the thing is, the game is still in a deep development
Until yesterday I was two months without internet so I managed very well to make this work. Actually is a very long story I start to write almost two years ago, but I'm very shy to show it to anyone and I'm not very skilled to draw so I think about the idea to make it a game.
SO I want all of you tell me what do you think and how can I make it better.. (since I am more a writer than a game programmer :P)
"the file %/&"("$/& can not be opened…"
Not sure why it does not work for you
I downloaded it and tried it on another computer.
It should work without any problem..
Its asking for missing System 2B and Vehicle Files.
1)Copy any file in the System Folder and rename it to システム２B
2)Copy any file in the Charaset Folder and rename it to 乗り物
Should work after that.
That is one of the most existentially horrifying sentences I have ever read.
That's why I said the game is still in development! But anyway I'm fixing right now all the bugs
A few things I've come across whilst playing:
- After I woke up, I went to the book to save, and then found myself exploring a large Library area. After checking all the rooms and floors, I entered a world which seems like part of the dream world, and after clicking on a few possible exits I found myself in a location in the Dream world which allowed me to explore the Dream world whilst I was awake.
- The background music which starts in the Hospital/Medical area continues after you've left the area, and doesn't stop (as far as I experimented) until you wake up.
Still, very interesting game, I like the hints to a story you can find in books and pictures, this game looks promising.
Will continue to play around and give feedback.
Sorry, forgot to add that you cannot wake up by pressing '9' whilst exploring the Dream world whilst you're awake.
You can get lost pretty deep in it and not be able to get a quick way out.
Sorry about the doublepost.
Okay, so I don't want to be rude, but this is…not good. The entire game is massively huge yet the game comprises mostly empty rooms with nothing in them. It's boring.
The game has very little content. The game is supposed to be about Mai, right? Yet there's virtually nothing to be learned about Mai. Almost all of the flavour text by NPCs is simple mundane tittering to themselves ("Nice to see you here"; "I'm getting tired of being here", "I'm cheecking [sic] the pulses" ,etc) and there's no point to any of the dialogue. The only dialogue that tells us anything about Mai is the little girl in the girls' rooms, where she implies that Mai likes another undisclosed character, possibly the "cold but cute" character in the forest area.
None of the text you read makes any sense and very little of it has anything to say about the world that Mai lives in, except for some vague thing about sakura always being in bloom. The grammar and writing for all the text is awful and incoherent in many places. I understand that English is PROBABLY not your first language, but at least have someone look at it who does speak English well before shipping it out. You are releasing to an English demographic and we need to be able to understand a game whose story seems to be mostly rooted in text. The formatting is often erratic and there are weird line skips and messages with one word of the sentence in a message to try to create an artificial pause, which doesn't create tension, by the way. It looks incredibly melodramatic. On top of that, the actual text itself is incredibly cliche and devoid of any description. "Can I find my way back to reality?" "Can I die and reborn [sic]?" "We fear what happens should they not blossom", etc. This is hack writing. The game is trying to spread Mai's backstory so thin that it's not actually telling us anything. Take a look at The Witch's House; there is Ellen's story scattered all over the game, but we at least get 3-4 decent sentences that actually convey information about Ellen. Here we get one 1-2 sentences that have some vague threat of some sort and also generally say nothing about Mai as a character.
As for the game itself, it's insufferably glitchy with loads of files MISSING which I'm still pretty baffled as to how that happened (WHY WOULD YOU DELETE SYSTEM 2B?) that crash the game in places, absolute shit event programming with teleports either being NOT there at all or being located on the wrong tile so I can't reach them or I get stuck in a wall. It's obvious that this was never bugtested. How could you when three of the files needed to run the game are missing? The 9 command only works about half the time, I can still use effects when I'm awake, I keep getting stuck in the stupid library, the door to Cherry blossoms forever (which is a really weird name for a country) keeps disappearing.
The sprite work ranges from decent to painfully mediocre and all of the scrolling parallax backgrounds look really quite ugly because they are not symmetrical and therefore I can tell when one tile of the image ends and the next begins. Not to mention the fact that I question whether the backgrounds need to move at all. Mai's sprite also seems off-centre because she lines of with approximately 0% of NPCs when facing them. On top of that, there are resources lifted from other games. The trees from TOL are there, one of the chairs from TLG, the flowers from .flow; there's even one map that looks suspiciously identical to the path leading off of Glitter Matrix world in Lcd Dem that you find the strawberry effect in.
There are loads of other problems with the game, but I'll just resummarise here:
>Glitchy, buggy, sloppy programming that was clearly never tested>Huge amounts of empty rooms with nothing to examine or NPCs that ignore you>Examination text that makes no sense, is terribly written, terribly formatted and/or is incredibly vague and generic, sacrificing actual exposition for cliches>The NPCs that do talk to you and the coherent messages you do find (with the exception of one or two) don't actually convey any information about Mai or the plot, thus there is barely character development and no plot at all.>There are files missing that prevent the game from starting and Mai from entering certain areas>There's no music in most areas>There are ripped sprites>The parallax backgrounds are godawful>You can't wake up 50% of the time>None of the effects work>You get no reward for interacting with NPCs, picking items up, or reading>The game is not about Mai and doesn't seem to actually have much to do with the original premise
And the thing is, you claim to be a writer, and I was excited to embark on this fascinating character study of Mai. Yet what I got was a lot of wandering and a lot of 2DEEP4U text that said nothing about Mai as a person and then a bunch of broken English. The story is spread so thin over the game that it's barely there. Just like with every other so-called Yume Nikki fangame that tries to have a story, it has no story.
The closest YN games to come close to a coherent story is .flow (success) and The Looking Glass (failure).
Seriously, go back and actually give us some information about Mai, fix all these incredibly LAZY programming errors, actually put some more effort into your map design so there's not huge swathes of nothingness punctuated by shitty parallax effects and GET SOME BETA TESTERS MAN or go and test the game yourself and make sure there aren't any bugs and critical grammar errors BEFORE releasing the game.
As for now I regard the game as a messy buggy wanderfest that tries too hard to be mysterious and just ends up being incoherent.
played some of it, don't give up, it is actually a good IDEA, but now, it seems like the canonical yume nikki fangame, give us something about the main character, something special>>6929>>6928
Listen to them! Don't get critics wrong, they know, I know you have gold there, but it's covered by dust, clean it man, explore in your game and find the bugs, every spot in the wall, every tile, waddle and explore everything.
>kill the bugs>give us something about Mai
for example in answered prayers, it's typical dream/pick effect/awake/can't go outside game, it has no dialogue, it barely explains the situation at all, but it's full of love and effort with the graphics and characters, not even something like this, SOMETHING DIFFERENT
OKAY! Actually I appreciate your views on this.
The game is something like a DEMO, and all mistakes you've seen that I did and wanted to see if it looked the way it looks in my head.
Still the story is a bit long, it may take time to see everything I write in just a game… Certainly I speak Spanish. but I am very good at english, it's just I completely forget to fix the bugs and correct spelling in english … Maybe I shouldn't put many dialogues.
Besides, I have problems with the sound hardware … Even if I wanted (and I want) to create music for my game, the computer restarts itself and well …
Hi, same person that wrote the blocks of critique here. Okay, some advice to you when you release a demo. Even if it's a demo and it's still in development, you have to get rid of all the bugs you can. You have to test EVERY single area and door and effect after you program it, whether it's a finished game or not. Even if that means it takes twice as long to put out a new game, it's something that needs to be done. I'm working on a game myself, and every time I edit a major event or create a map, I make sure it works immediately after. It takes a while and the game progression moves slowly, but I can say 100% that there are no typos or glitches in the stuff I have done. Even if it is a demo, it needs to be your best work.
When it comes to the story, even if it's very information-dense, you need to create dialogue and text that tells the player something, otherwise it's a waste of programming. Make what you have longer, and try to add something about Mai as a character. This game bills itself as a character study, now go make it one.
When it comes to spelling, grammar and formatting (ie not putting weird line breaks everywhere), I'd consult someone. I suggest Rindre (yes ahahaha she developed FLUX we all know); she translated Umbra into English and seems to be fluent in both Spanish and English. I don't know if she can help you much from a WRITING standpoint but she can at least make sure what you want to say is accurately represented in our vernacular. A good amount of dialogue would be nice, but only if they say something about Mai and if they make sense.
As for music, I would consider either partnering with someone (like TLG did) or licencing music, like I plan to (as I'm one of the nine people in the world that can't seem to understand how music works).
>Remember, just because it's a demo doesn't mean it shouldn't be your best work.
People generally don't take the excuse "BUT I'M STILL DEVELOPING IT!" when it comes to mistakes in the programming, only when it comes to unfinished story.
Now how many of the bugs and typos do you need to correct before releasing a game?
a) None of them
b) Some of them
c) All of them
>You have to go and correct all of the bugs and typos.
Oh, and get rid of every resource you took from another game's files please, it says very clearly in uboa's rules for posting games here:
>1. You will not use another Fangame Creator's materials without his written consent. This applies both to Uboachan Fangames and foreign Fangames.
It's such bad etiquette and it pisses off members of both the English-speaking and Japanese-speaking communities.
@critical anonymous — wow, what an intelligently written critique. That is depressingly a rare find on Ubuu. On that note, I can assist in the 1-of-9 department. Hit me up on Soundcloud or Tumblr as Plasterbrain and I will likely oblige you with a soundtrack… (ok now i'm making it sound like back-alley drugs)
ANYWAY Hi throwing in my two cents here. I too had the file errors which Toro helped clear up in one of the earlier posts (can you check it out and add those to the game's folders for future releases?). There's a third one looking for another file written in alien language if you go in the bottom door of the Nexus, I believe.
Edit: There's one more going up the later in the house in the rainy forest world.
I contend to all the issues presented by our friend the critical anon. Those are all valid.
In addition, however: the opening to the game seems a lot like Answered Prayers. I mean, the similarity is uncanny. I don't know if that was an intentional homage, as I don't know how long this has been in development, but if it's not integral to the plot, I would consider tweaking it.
The game needs music!
I really like the color palette of bright pinks in a lot of areas. It's reminiscent of NostAlgic, which is one of my favorite fangames! :33
There seems to be the motif of emptiness, what with the lack of soundtrack and the many dud rooms and NPCs that seem to provide little purpose. The problem is I doubt this was intentional design that acts as some sort of symbolism, since the premise of the game suggests a lot of juicy content to delve into. The pictured room, for example, seems to be a dead end no matter how you access it (going from the pink apartments actually traps you). Which is strange. Because it's made of roads.
Props on making the speed effect easy to find. :3
Anyway, that's about it. I, too, would recommend a good playtrhough of your piece here to work out the bugs, since there are a lot of them (especially with all those doors).
Yo, pLasterbrain, thanks a lot! Critical anon here, I'll drop you a message on tumblr. Also I just watched Baccano! Abridged and it's friggin hilarious.
@Commodorette, I actually made a playthrough that's around an hour or so. I might edit it up and post it as a review. I pretty much went into nearly every area and found the glitches, so if you wanted to see, you can. Word of caution though, I get pretty annoyed in the middle.
Oh and yeah like pLaster said, there is a missing file error looking for some moonrunes entitled, 夕焼け. Means sunset. No idea what kind of file it could be.
Hey Ubuu. It's been a while. I was looking through this and I saw my name mentioned??? Well I think this is pretty decent, so, something for Commodorette…
@Commodorette: Hola! Te escribiste que hablas español? Hay un foro para los creadores de unos fangames, incluso Jojogape, JCM, Hidrokobra, y yo. Se hablan español allí.
I also speak English. You can ask me questions about anything from language to development. I translate Yume Nikki-related things into English and into Spanish, so if you have some questions about anything at all, please message me here: http://pakilusin.tumblr.com/ask
Entonces, te puedo dar el vinculo para encontrarnos. Te podemos ayudar. Hay muchos personas que les gustarían ayudarte en aquel foro.
You can also ask my close friends, Jojogape (he can speak English and Spanish) or JCM (he can only speak Spanish)
Bueno, si quieres, voy a crear una tema de Time Traveller en el foro para tí.
Vamos a esperar a tu llegada!
could someone re-upload the game? i want to play it but the link is broken
I've uploaded the game here: http://www.mediafire.com/?2az9btcqhb5m4un
Unsure if Commodorette wants it down or not, but if Commodorette expresses so then I'll take it down.
This seems like something that could suffice without the "Fangame" brand
Just my opinion
found you balthasar>>7094
But the gameplay is very fangame-ish: dream world, nexus, effects, dream room, protagonist with closed eyes… it has everything.
Actually I live in a city where there's such low internet connection.
But I have all this time to learn how to make the game.
I already finish the game. I re-made everything, I put music, pictures and all the thing,two endings, another player , the only dialogue of the game is some history of my original story will appear, also I made my own chara base so, please after you all play it, don't say that I stole anything.
When my internet come back I will upload the game. That's first on my list.
So, i don't want any relative link to the game, until I upload the actual version of the game. perhaps that's will be in two or three months I don't know since I don't have internet so i really don't know.
But keeps looking forward my game! thank you all!
Good to know, looking forward to it!>So, i don't want any relative link to the game, until I upload the actual version of the game.
Does this mean you want links to earlier versions of the game taken down?
Yeah! sorry but it really got a lot of bugs and places that doesn't exist anymore :/.
Glad to see you back, and with an update! Will check it out!
Okay, thank you :3!
There's an error the game throws up at the start right after you get the book and try to leave:
The file 夕焼け1 cannot be opened.
I cannot find a way to progress further because of it :s
-to add, I like the graphics and the look of the game though, some places can get graphically fixed up a little bit but looks promising (even though I can't get too far ;w;)
I aware now of that, so I'm fixing it. Thank you!
mmm nope, its dead.
I don't know what you expected.
Also, it seems this fangame also became a game that supposedly stands on its own.
hm yeah so maybe this should be deleted.
umm why isnt the link working i really want to try this game
and i think this is his tumblr http://rimururu.tumblr.com/
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i found a download that works downside is you need to learn spanish upside is i now have a better use for google translate
Jeez man. Shut the hell up.
Can we stop with the hugbox?
This game is a mess, and it should be rightfully treated as one.
why and its version 4 not 0.02 its litterally went in another direction
wtf guys, cmon, just delete this shit already, the game is n another language, get over it.
get over it
get over it
get over it
wooops myb ad
Newfag pretending to be oldfag #71.
I agree with the guy, lock this thread, game is borderline autism.