Yume Nikki is my hiding place.
It's a mystery no one has ever solved and no one ever will. I adore the game because I feel like I'm in an alter plane, privileged to even be allowed to venture in it at all. In there, all the horrible shit from real life don't matter anymore, no one will know I was abused by other kids at school, no one will know I was raped, no one will know I was beat up by someone who I thought would become my best friend, no one knows about all that horrible shit because when I look at Yume Nikki, its universe speaks to me.
I remember being locked up in my room and having all those fucked up dreams and psychedelic thoughts, those dreams and fantasies in which I escaped because I knew something was wrong with me. No human should have the ability to venture so far into their imagination, it's almost a crime in nature.
But someone did it, someone, who somehow understands all my sorrow, all my pain, all my everything has made a video game that nobody understands, it reflects me as a person and it also reflects my pains and emotions. Positive or Negative.
I am Madotsuki, I am Poniko, I am what they are to me, they are what I am to them.
None of this makes sense does it? But that's specifically the appeal of Yume Nikki. It's a mystery where we can all escape and find comfort, maybe even relive the innocence of our childhoods, who knows right?
Yume Nikki is a walking simulator with things that are just things and no other meaning.
I loved every second.
One of my favorite things to do in video games is explore. Even if there's nothing really there to explore, I'll probably spend a chunk of time doing so anyways. Yume Nikki is pure exploration. You can, and are expected to, look around in every little nook and corner.
For me it has always been a means towards a form of mental clarity and escape that rivals a dream like state. I have an unbroken tradition of playing yn during late nights for long periods of time. There is a unique flavor of mental state that this game induces for me. It's hard to properly phrase this
I wish I could give you a hug; I have had very similar experiences. Right down to being abused by your "best friend." I thought I deserved it at the time, due to how I was raised.
The creator of YN is truly someone who understood the mystery - not that it was solved, but that the amorphous psychic mystery is there in the first place.
It really makes me wonder if everyone has the potential for these thoughts within them, or if we are simply fated to wander amongst them - the true extroverts - forever.
>tfw had a gf who would have understood this>tfw I couldn't make myself accept that she actually cared about me>tfw lack of trust destroyed the relationship
We are doomed to suffer.